Megumi, Misao & Tae vs. Kaoru & Kenshin's lovelife. Enjoy the cavities.

"All's Fair in Love and War" [KenKao, Megumi, Misao, AU, romance] [written for RuroKen Week 2017]

"Makimachi Misao, if you put one more sugar in that latte, I will personally upend it over your head. You don't need to be bouncing off the walls at 10 in the morning." Kaoru growled into her mug of tea and honey.

Misao grinned and dumped the packet into the steaming froth. "Now now Kaoru, just because you're sexually frustrated doesn't mean you need to that anger out on me."

Kaoru squawked in outrage before Megumi cut in.

"Ladies, please. Kaoru, sugar doesn't lead to hyperactivity; that's simply a defect in Misao's charming personality. Misao, we are here to solve Kaoru's problem, not make fun of it." She paused to take a sip of her coffee. "Though it is obvious you need to jump him, Kamiya."

Misao snorted into her drink while Kaoru fumed.

"You guys called me here," she said, folding her arms, "if you're just going to insult me, I'll leave. I have a report to finish for Psychology tomorrow, not to mention a mountain of paperwork for my new beginners' class students."

Misao licked a layer of foam off her lip. "Hey, I've got homework to do too, but landing you a tumble with Himura Kenshin is way more important."

"I DO NOT-" Kaoru shrieked before stopping herself and hissing, "I do not need to tumble with my housemate. He's a great guy-"

"Who does your laundry and cooks all your meals."

"H-he needs to eat too-"

"Who's adorable with your youngest students."

"Ok-"

"And who's built like a god."

"Yeah but-"

"No 'buts' lady, unless you're talking about Himura's butt. Which is related to my last point."

"Guys, enough! Kenshin doesn't think of me that way! Or any way…"

"He thinks the absolute world of you, Kaoru," Misao frowned, "he'd bend over backwards to make you happy."

"He'd also like to bend you over," Megumi interjected.

"Stop!" Kaoru said in the stern voice she usually reserved for disorderly students, not her closest, obviously deranged friends. "Listen, Kenshin is wonderful, we all agree but he has treated me as simply his landlady and friend since the moment I invited him to stay with me.

"I agree!" a chipper voice said, "That man is delightful but oblivious as a blind ox. I suggest drastic measures."

Kaoru rolled her eyes and lifted the mug to her mouth as the newcomer sat down. "And what pray tell, Tae, did you have in mind?"

"A kidnapping!" Tae replied gleefully as Kaoru choked on her tea. "We could get some of your older students, or Misao's friends to kidnap him."

"Him? Not Kaoru?" Megumi asked, raising a perfect eyebrow.

Tae sighed. "Normally, I'd say yes, but we've all been to Kaoru's tournaments. There's no way Kenshin would believe she got herself kidnapped."

"Especially not after the kenpōI taught her," Misao said smugly, "You'd have to be pretty dumb to try. But what good will kidnapping him do?"

Tae clasped her hands and said "Well, we get him kidnapped, nothing serious, just a little tying up and blindfolding-"

"Kinky," Megumi calmly remarked as Kaoru squeaked.

"And then Kaoru comes in to save the day," Tae pressed on, "bravely saving her man, carrying him off into the sunset, and then Kenshin, eternally grateful, passionately declares his love for you, leading to marriage and fathering your children-"

"Whoa, whoa!" a red-faced Kaoru interrupted her starry-eyed friend. "That's getting a little far ahead! I'd settle for a date!"

"I agree," Megumi said, "Skip the kidnapping and just go for the ropes. It's good foreplay."

Kaoru buried her face in her hands. "You are all horrible friends," she muttered.

"We are the best friends," Misao corrected. Kaoru rolled her eyes and gulped down the last of her tea before standing.

"I have important things to do," she said shouldering her purse.

"Put the redhead on the top of your "To Do" list!" Misao laughed and dodged a swat from Kaoru.

"Like tax forms and lab reports," she retorted, still blushing.

As soon as Kaoru disappeared out the door with a half-hearted wave, the three women leaned towards each other over the small table.

"So what do we do now?" Tae said. Megumi's eyes glittered behind her cup and Misao grinned.

"We put this plan into action," she said, rubbing her hands together. "I wonder if Kenshin's combat training taught him knots?"

Kaoru sighed as she let the heavy gym bag drop in her foyer. She rotated her shoulder before tossing her phone on a small table. The phone that had been near silent for three days. When one is friends with a sneaky weasel, a conniving fox, and a pesky busybody who are dead set on shoving one into bed with one's adorable tenant, 72 hours of radio silence was worrisome.

And the bad part was, the agonizing, guilt-ridden, shameful part was she knew, she knew, that if she could claim innocence, she would happily go along with whatever half-cocked scheme her so-called friends could come up with to land her in Kenshin's (incredibly fine) arms.

Kaoru groaned and ground her palms into her closed eyes. Yes, okay, she was extremely attracted to Kenshin and probably more than half in love with him. He was polite and kind and seven different kinds of sexy. He looked like sin under those baggy clothes he wore and moved like a force of nature with a sword in his hand. He made her laugh, let her vent about her classes and her students, and looked delectable when he blushed.

And though he'd been kind and generous since their first unfortunate meeting in an alleyway, he'd not shown any romantic interest in her, despite what her 'friends' thought.

He cooked, he cleaned and he welcomed her home every day with a warm meal and a gentle smile. Who wouldn't fall for that? It really wasn't fair.

She frowned and lowered her hands. Where was her standard greeting?

"I'm home!" she called into the dark house. "Kenshin?" When there was no answer, she flipped the nearby light switch. Her frown deepened when it failed to turn on.

She unzipped her bag and pulled out her wooden sword. Something was wrong.

She gripped the weapon and moved cautiously down the dark hallway.

Kenshin rarely went out this late, and was usually waiting after her Wednesday visits at the Maekawa dojo. A sweep of the cold kitchen revealed nothing, with similar results in the sitting room, laundry and bathroom. Kaoru moved from dark room to dark room, sword tight in one hand and a flashlight from a kitchen drawer in the other. Kenshin's bedroom was empty, which left outside, the dojo, and her own room.

What if her friends actually went through with the stupid kidnapping plan? Should she be looking for a ransom note made of cut-out magazine letters (because Misao would go all the way on this)? Would she have to trek across town following some cryptic message delivered by ninja in the moonlight (because again, Misao)? She had been friends with Tae before she met Misao and Megumi and as she opened the door to her bedroom, regretted ever introducing the three of them.

Lost in thought, she missed the thin rope stretched across her bedroom floor. With a strangled gasp, Kaoru fell, sword and flashlight flying from her hands. Instead of meeting with the hard wood floor, something warm and yielding cushioned her descent.

"Umf!" her cushion said, "Mmf Mumfu?"

"Kenshin! Oh my god, are you okay?" Kaoru cried. She struggled to push herself up and gather her bearings. She lay sprawled lengthwise on Kenshin's prone body, who seemed to be conveniently placed right her fall zone. She couldn't see more than vague outlines since her flashlight had rolled under the bed, lost among discarded socks and dusty boxes.

"Mmf," came his response. Kaoru reached out to touch his shoulder.

"Kenshin, what are – oh my god, why are you naked?!" she yelled, snatching her hand back. The sudden movement threatened her balance and she began to tip backwards. Kenshin quickly brought his knees up and stopped her fall.

'Why is Kenshin lying my bedroom floor?' Kaoru thought, her heartbeat frantic. 'And naked?' Okay, he wasn't completely naked. She could feel the worn fabric of his boxers as she leaned back against his legs, desperate to put space between her body and his chest. She'd seen that chest, she'd dreamt of that chest. It was smooth and muscled and she'd never admit to ulterior motives by always conveniently being in the hallway after Kenshin finished bathing. That chest was dangerous. And those biceps. And that collarbone. Damnit.

"Mmfm?" the object of her thoughts said as he struggled to raise his torso off the floor.

She carefully felt for his shoulders again, hands shaking on his bare skin as she sat somewhat cradled on his upright body.

Her fingers gently touched his face, then stilled at the cloth over his eyes.

"What…?" she trailed off. A tentative touch at his mouth revealed a smooth strip. He shifted, apparently uncomfortable and she wondered why he hadn't used his hands to help himself…

"…nothing serious, just a little tying up…"

'…I'm going to murder all of them.'

"Oh Kenshin, are you okay?" she murmured, tracing the tape's outline. He nodded, his cheeks strangely warm under her fingers. Moving back up to the blindfold, she followed the cloth around his head to the knot.

'Oh gods, his hair is loose. Stay calm, Kamiya, stay calm.'

She resisted her long-time fantasy to bury her hands in that thick red mane and settled for smoothing a few tangled strands after quickly undoing the knot.

"Okay, I need to take the tape off. I'm sorry."

Kenshin nodded again and shrugged. That she was still straddling his waist didn't seem to enter into either person's mind.

"I think it might be better if I just rip it off in one go," she said. Kenshin nodded and took a deep breath through his nose as Kaoru scratched a corner off his scarred cheek.

"One two three!" Kaoru said and pulled. Kenshin hissed when the last inch came off.

"Ororo, thank you Ms. Kaoru. Ouch…"

Kaoru crumpled the tape and tossed it to the side. "I'm sorry, are you okay?"

Kenshin pursed his lips and opened his mouth a few times. "This one is alright. It's going to sting for a little bit, though. Do you have any mineral oil?"

Kaoru shook her head. "I don't think so. Would anything else help?" Ideally, her next task should have been to undo whatever kept his arms bound behind his back. Without much thought, a hand naturally drifted up to cup his jawline, softly rubbing her thumb over the tingling skin framing his lips.

Kenshin sighed and shifted. "This one is not sure. Perhaps aloe vera, or some ice."

"A kiss?"

Kaoru nearly bit her tongue as the words fell out of her mouth. She froze, her hand stilling on his face. Kenshin was silent. She vaguely felt him swallow as her thoughts furiously berated her.

'Stupid stupid Kamiya! Why the hell would you say that, how's he supposed to respond to that, that's not fair to say to a man tied up on your bedroom floor, for gods' sake, get up and apologize before you make this any-'

"You could try."

Her breath hitched at his response, the dark hid the vivid blush across her cheeks, and she felt him swallow again.

She leaned forward slowly and stopped when their noses brushed. Her thumb gently drifted between his scar and lips, shaking just slightly.

"Can I?" she whispered, terrified of any answer he might give. He responded in a voice breathless as her own.

"Please."

Kaoru gently pressed her lips to his, lingering for a moment before drawing back a few inches.

"Better?" She murmured, her heartbeat pounding in her ears. Sitting on the floor of her blacked-out house, straddling her sexy, half-naked tenant, kissing him while he's tied up: a new personal low for Kamiya Kaoru. Well, if this was rock-bottom, she wouldn't mind staying for a while.

Kenshin exhaled shakily. "I think… I think I may need another one."

She couldn't help but giggle softly. If he insisted.

The next kiss has less hesitant and had Kenshin's full participation, to her great delight. It lasted significantly longer and left her more breathless than the first.

"I could get used to this," she said as they rested a moment. Well, she rested. He took the opportunity to dust little kisses across her nose, cheekbones, and eyelids.

"Really? I don't think I ever could," he murmured, moving his mouth back to hers. Humming her approval, she barely noticed a strong set of arms snaking around her waist to hold her flush against him.

'Wait, how did he…?'

"Kenshin," she mumbled, trying desperately to hold onto the thoughts scattering under his warm, roving hands, "I thought you were… how did… Misao…?"

"Our friends thought we needed a little help, and Misao can be very… persuasive," Kenshin said somewhere into the skin under her left ear, "though the ropes are a bit overkill, that they are."

Kaoru laughed and wrapped her arms around his bare torso, giddy with happiness.

"At least you weren't kidnapped by ninja."

Listen, my fanfic consumption consists of about 90% pure fluff. I inhale the sweet stuff and smut like the only candy shop in town is going out of business. I am not ashamed of my diet.

But ask me to write fluff, I will titter nervously and say what a pity it is that the candy shop is closing, damn I'll miss their ripple fudge bars. I started this thing for WoRKWeek2015. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Please do not rip duct tape off. It will hurt and take skin with it. Only do if you are in safe, compromising positions with adorable redheads.