Chapter 09

Author's Note: Been a while since I last updated. On the bright side, this chapter is slightly longer than my usual ones. Also the next chapter is already done so I'll post it within a few days. This chapter is different than my usual ones. The next chapter will be more like the rest of my story. But this chapter was important in its own way. Thanks to all who have read, followed, favourited and reviewed. Thanks as always to TheRainyAbe and TheStormyBull. Please review.

Beta's Note: Hey Everyone! I find this chapter to be the best one that my friend has written so far and I'm sure it'll keep getting better.

Since many of you have pointed out that my review replies cause the chapter to be overinflated, I have decided to cut back on them.

The-Lazy-Bum: Thanks you for your review. It helped me with one of my biggest insecurities about this chapter.

Harry

The Gryffindor common room could be described as many things; quiet was not one of them. However on this instance, it was even less so. The air was filled with excited voices from the multiple conversations taking place in varied groups around the room. It was to this scene, that Harry walked into. He looked around in mild curiosity, wondering what had gotten everyone so riled up. Spotting his friends sitting on one of the sofas, he walked up to them.

"What's going on?", he asked.

"Hogsmeade.", Hermione said simply. "The notice for the first visit was just posted.".

"It's this weekend", Ron added enthusiastically.

Immediately Harry's mood plummeted. He had been unable to secure the necessary permission slip from his guardians. "Well I can't go.", he started.

Hermione seemed non-plussed at this, unlike Ron who immediately shouted, Why not?".

"The Dursleys didn't sign my slip.", Harry explained.

"Why don't you go to Professor McGonagall?", Ron said after thinking for a moment. " I'm sure she'd allow you to go if you explained about the Muggles."

"That's actually not a bad idea.", Harry said with a glimmer of hope. He stood up intending to find McGonagall, but he was stopped by Hermione.

"I don't think you should do it Harry.", she said throwing a sharp glare in Ron's direction.

Harry hesitated at the tone of her voice, "What do you mean?".

"I don't think it's a good idea for you to be outside the castle.", she said. "With Sirius Black on the loose, you would be in danger if you went to Hogsmeade."

"C'mon Hermione.", Harry replied. "What could possibly happen in front of all those people? I'll be perfectly safe."

"How can you say that?" Hermione said heatedly. "Don't you care about yourself and all the people that you would put in danger?".

The argument between the two of them escalated until Harry left the room in a fit of irritation. Neither of them noticed the twin redheads hovering nearby, eavesdropping on their conversation.

The next day Harry had calmed down enough to realize that Hermione was only worried for him. Not that he agreed with her. He was still convinced that nothing could go wrong in front of such a large group of people. But he couldn't well be mad at someone who was only watching out for him.

He was brought out of his thoughts when Professor Lupin walked in. Immediately the conversations around the room died out, as they waited for the new Professor to begin the lesson. Everyone was originally curious as to his skill in the subject, and Harry was the only one who hadn't had a class with him yet. He was determined to keep an open mind, despite Lupin's appearance. He knew first-hand that shabby clothes did not reveal anything about the person wearing them, and from his own interactions with Professor Lupin, he knew that the man was intelligent.

Professor Lupin for his part smiled at them. Rummaging into his pockets, he said, "Put your books away. You won't be needing them for today's lesson.". Everyone frowned as they did what they were told. Professor Lupin slowly pulled out a small replica of a wardrobe before placing it on the floor. Pointing his wand at it, he incanted, "Engorgio." The wardrobe grew rapidly until it reached its full height. Holding the door closed, was a big red lock. Everyone stared at it curiously. Suddenly the wardrobe gave a small rattle causing Parvati and Lavender, who were seated in the front row to yelp.

"Nothing to worry about.", Professor Lupin said reassuringly. "Today we shall be covering Boggarts."

Harry took a deep breath as he waited outside the Defence against the Dark Arts classroom. Beside him Hermione was muttering something under her breath, apprehension clear on her face. Ron was pacing the corridor, stopping occasionally and looking as though he was about to throw up. The rest of the class were scattered around the corridor, waiting nervously.

Professor Lupin had sent them outside to wait after giving them a brief lesson on Boggarts. He had taught them the counter-spell and had stated that he wanted everyone to try facing them once. If Harry didn't know any better, he would have thought that Lupin was a sadist. However he was grateful that everyone would face the Boggart individually. It was a blessing in disguise, despite the fact that it took away the meagre comfort that their numbers provided. After all, he didn't want everyone to know his biggest fear.

Harry considered the possibilities. He had a sinking suspicion that he knew what it was, but he hoped that he was wrong. In an effort to convince himself, he began to consider the other most likely candidates. Voldermort was one of them. Harry knew he feared him to a certain degree, but his hate far outpaced it. The Basilisk was another possibility, the Dementor another. He was considering the implications of the different outcomes, when Hermione's name was called. She was clearly very worried. Ron stopped his pacing and sent her a reassuring smile, though he still looked green. Harry reached out and gave her hand a gentle squeeze, mirroring Ron's smile. Giving them an appreciative nod, Hermione walked into the classroom.

Returning to his musings, Harry considered another likely outcome. His Uncle. Harry was truly afraid of him, and for good reason. The memory of his last beating caused him to wince slightly. This didn't go unnoticed by Ron as he took Hermione's place beside him. He nudged Harry slightly with his shoulder, to try and placate him. Harry was about to say something, when Professor Lupin called on him.

His words died in his throat as his vision narrowed. Taking another deep breath he stepped forward. Ron said something but Harry couldn't quite make it out as he walked into the defence classroom and stood in front of the wardrobe.

Lupin

Remus stared apprehensively at the son of his best friend. He was concerned about what was to follow; knowing that Harry's boggart would likely be something far greater than a normal thirteen year old. He went over the basic incantation with Harry once again, before casting the unlocking charm on the lock. He stood there, wand in hand, as Harry faced his boggart, ready to step in if required.

Nothing could have prepared him for what followed.

A figure stepped out of the wardrobe, and Remus's face lost all colour. The man stood, gazing at them with an impassive expression. His dark robes billowed around him, his stance tall and unmoving. Remus stepped back as he stared at the familiar face. The messy black hair had faded to a pale white that seemed devoid of any colour. His eyes, once full of mirth and mischief were a bright red. His cheekbones far more pronounced than they had been in life, gave him a dark look. It was so familiar and at the same time it was not.

"James…..", he managed to stutter out.

Harry

Harry had begun to hyperventilate as his greatest nightmare took form before him. He heard Professor Lupin beside him ,"James…". But he knew that he was wrong. The man that stood before him was not his father. Harry's eyes went to the figure's forehead. The pale skin was marred only by a small scar. A scar in the shape of a lightning bolt.

The apparition turned his gaze on Harry, and Harry froze. It just stood there, its smoky capes billowing slightly despite the lack of wind. Harry began to tremble as he met its gaze. It stared unmoving, impassively at Harry. It didn't say a word. It didn't have to.

Harry felt his legs give way beneath him as he crumpled to the floor. Hastily he tried to scramble back, but his limbs felt like jelly. Professor Lupin stepped forward and tried to stop it. "Riddikulus", he said. There was no effect on the apparition. It continued to stare at them, as it took a step forward. Harry screamed.

Harry's magic reacted to his primal instinct of wanting to get away from the apparition. No wand or incantation was required as his magic responded to his fear. The figure was thrown back towards the wardrobe with a force that caused the nearby desks to smash against the wall. But his magic was not done yet. Unhindered by any limitations placed on it, Harry's magic surged out of him in what can only be described as a destructive wave. Professor Lupin barely had the time to shield himself as he too was thrown against the wall. The ground under Harry cracked under the pure pressure generated by his magic. The wardrobe was lifted from the ground and thrown against the far wall. The impact caused it to shatter, as a thick fog encompassed it. Harry's magic continued to push and the wall gave way. Satisfied that the threat was gone the outburst subsided, as the magic retreated back into Harry.

Exhausted Harry looked around in fear and confusion. The entire classroom was a mess. Most of the desks and chairs had shattered. Behind him Professor Lupin was crumpled on the floor, his back against the wall; conscious but barely so. Beside him the door of the classroom had been blasted into smithereens, as the other students gazed wide eyed through it. Harry looked ahead again. The last scene he saw, before losing consciousness was the open sky, through the large hole he had just opened up, into the side of the castle.

Harry slowly opened his eyes to see the familiar ceiling of the Hospital Wing. He was about to sit up, when he realised that he was not alone. Professor Lupin was sitting beside him. When he saw that Harry was awake he asked him, "Are you okay?".

Remembering the events leading up to this, Harry asked, "How long was I out?".

"Just a couple of hours.", Lupin replied. "Was anyone…".

"Everyone is fine.", Lupin reassured him. "The walls absorbed the brunt of the impact. And thankfully no one was standing near the door."

Harry let out a breath he didn't know he was holding.

Lupin turned the chair he was sitting on to face Harry. Turning very serious, he asked him, "What was that Harry?".

"I don't know.", Harry answered truthfully. "I wasn't trying to do…", He was cut off by Professor Lupin. "I'm not talking about your outburst. It isn't surprising for magic to react in certain situations. I want to know about your Boggart. Was that James…?" he trailed off.

Harry stayed silent for a moment. He glanced at Lupin to find him, looking at him with concern. After a long time he began. "My biggest fear is not a monster. It is not something tangible. It is a possible future. The boggart was me…or more accurately; who I will be."

Lupin leaned forward, completely focused on Harry. "For a long time I have been unsettled by the similarities between me and Voldermort.". Unlike many people Lupin did not flinch at the mention of his name. Frowning, he asked him, "What do you mean?".

"I haven't told this to anyone….but the Hat originally wanted to put me in Slytherin.", Harry continued. "It was only upon my insistence that it put me in Gryffindor. We are both half-bloods. We are both orphans who were raised in a hostile environment." Lupin frowned at this and opened his mouth to say something, but Harry continued talking. " We are both parseltongues. The first ones in a long time. We even look somewhat similar. "

Lupin didn't know what to say, "Harry that isn't…".

He was cut off once again by Harry, "That is what bothers me the most. That I'll end up like him. A mindless monster. A Freak." The years of abuse at the hands of the Dursleys had caused Harry's self-esteem to be virtually non-existent. Years of being called a Freak had left its mark on his psyche. At this point Harry began to do something he hadn't done on a long time. He began to cry.

Lupin was speechless. This wasn't a child throwing a tantrum. Nor was this someone releasing pent up emotions through tears. The sobs the raked Harry was something deeper. It was as though something had broken within Harry. He didn't know what to say. He had failed James and Lily. He would never have guessed that Harry was hiding such despair. In his previous interactions he had seemed like a strong, inquisitive young man; not the broken boy that he was now. He berated himself for taking this lesson. Recalling an earlier conversation with Harry, he steeled himself and grabbed Harry by the shoulder. Looking him in the eye he said, "You are nothing like that madman and I am going to prove it.".

Harry looked at him through watery eyes, confused.

"I am going to teach you something that Voldermort couldn't dream to achieve in a million years. Hope. I am going to teach you how to make a patronus.".