Several days had passed since the revelation with Amanda and her estranged father and half-brother she never knew about. Amanda had time off to be with Jesse, but mostly because she couldn't be at the station while her team was working on Dillan's case. New Years had come and gone quietly with Amanda keeping her promise to Carisi's mom to go to their party. She would be lying if she said her New Year's wish didn't include the hope that everything would turn out alright for Dillan.

Dillan had come to visit her three times since their initial meeting and Jesse took to him instantly. She had to admit to herself that she missed having the chance to act like a big sister.

Amanda realized that his scholarship to Cheseray Academy wasn't just by luck. He had a real talent for math and science. In fact, he was also talented with his hands and was able to stop the leak coming from her shower head she had been meaning to get fixed for ages.

Unfortunately for the boy, his case had hit some speed bumps. The girls admitted that they slept with him, but they denied knowing his age or that he had refused to have sex with them. In their statements, it was all consensual. Dillan was also receiving no support from his buddies from school. According to them, he was aggressive with the girls and led them to the room himself, they called Dillan lucky to have scored with two 'smokin hot' college girls.

Amanda was at her apartment and had just put Jesse down for a nap when her phone rang "Amanda?" Dillan's voice responded from the other line.

"Hey, Dillan" she answered "is everything okay?" she asked noticing the hesitation in his voice.

"Um... yeah. I don't have to testify after all. My Dad said he wouldn't let me and so Mr. Barba gave Jessica and Shara a deal" he explained

"A deal?" she questioned, "What kind?"

"I'm not really sure. We're at the station right now. I was wondering if you could... come down here and..." he didn't finish. He didn't even know what he wanted her there for exactly, but he didn't want her out of the loop on his case.

"I'll be right there, just let me call Jesse's sitter"

"Why wasn't I told a deal was being made," Amanda said with annoyance as she entered the squad room and saw her team and Barba standing by the conference table.

"Rollins," Olivia said as she stepped forward "we're sorry things have been hectic here, and with you off... we just finalized the deal and Barba was just about to offer it to the defense They'll most likely take it" she explained

"What's the deal?" she asked hoping at least they had done right by Dillan

"Sexual abuse in the third degree, with six months probation" Barba stated in his usual authoritative voice but added a sympathetic smile because he knew Amanda would not like the deal.

"A class B misdemeanor?" Amanda responded outraged "they rape him and all they're going to get is a slap on the wrist"

"It's all I could do, Amanda" Barba explained not allowing her anger to be directed at him "his father won't let him testify, and without that he doesn't have a case"

"His father" she nearly growled "hasn't that bastard ruined enough of his life"

"Manda, I'm not one who would ever side with that man, especially after everything he put you through" Fin began. He was still truly angry at Ross for hurting his partner, Fin was anything if not loyal, but at the same time, he knew his job. "Have you maybe considered that he's just trying to do what he thinks is best for his son" he tried to rationalize the other man's reasons to her. Unlike Amanda, he didn't have an emotional stake in this case and he could see things clearly from both point of views.

"No, he's probably trying to take the easy way out like he has always done," she said as she looked around the room searching for the man that was her father, and her half-brother. She saw them sitting in the interview room "you know what, there's no use speculating, I'm going to ask him myself"

"Amanda," Carisi said as he tried to stop her "are you sure that's a wise idea?"

"Don't worry, I'll conduct myself professionally," She said not even looking back to see the doubtful expressions on her team's faces.

Amanda didn't even knock before she entered the room. Dillan instantly sprang to his feet as he saw her "Amanda, did they tell you?" he asked

"Yeah, Dillan, they did but right now I just need to talk to your Dad for a moment. Do you think you can grab something from the vending machine and eat it in the break room, or ask Carisi for some of that candy he keeps in his desk" she asked him, and with only a slight nod the young boy did as he was bidden.

The two remaining adults stood in silence for only a second before they both spoke at the same time.

"Amanda"

"Are you an idiot?"

"Excuse me?" Ross asked when he heard Amanda's words "why would you even ask that?"

"Oh, I don't know. How about because you are willing to let your son's rapists walk free just because it's the easier route" Amanda said with disdain and sarcasm.

"I'm only doing what's best for him. Have you even thought how this trial would affect his life?" Ross said pushing back, he may have felt guilty for abandoning Amanda but he wasn't going to let her put him down when he really was trying to do right by Dillan. "Everyone would know what happened to him, he could lose his scholarship. His future! All for what? Something that happened at a party, one in which he had no right to be at in the first place" he yelled in frustration

"Have you thought about him having to live with the fact that his rapists are basically going to walk. That's like telling him what happened didn't matter. That he's not worth the effort" she retorted not backing down at her father's words "He needs to be able to tell his story, to be heard"

"Really? Like you would know" Ross said with a condescending voice

"Of course I would know, this is my job!" she yelled back in disbelief at his words

"Oh come on! You're just one and done in these situations. After the case, these people mean nothing to you. You're not there for them to put back the pieces. His life will be ruined if he testifies, but I don't expect you to understand. You've never been raped, you only see it through the cold eyes of this flawed justice system" he said as he slammed his fist on the table as he accused her of not understanding. His anger at his son's own assault pouring through.

Amanda was stunned into silence for a moment. She didn't expect him to say that she couldn't understand Dillan's needs because she was never raped. The fact was she did understand. She knew the pain of living with the secret and never getting the justice she deserved. The way the wound can fester the more you try to push it down.

Ross peeled his eyes from the table when he heard no retort from his daughter.

"I do understand," Amanda said without thinking, her eyes looking at the table where his hand had slammed down onto it.

The change in his daughter's demeanor shocked him, it wasn't how he thought she would react. "What?" he asked her

Taking a deep breath she repeated herself "I do understand. I know exactly how he feels"

"Are you telling me you were... raped too?" he asked in disbelief as he began to process her words. The realization that more than just one of his children were subjected to such a horrific assault was like a knife to the heart "who... when?" he asked still hoping he was wrong

Her father's questioned seemed to dispel the somber mood that had overcome her and reignited her anger "Oh no, don't you even, for a second, pretend that you care about what happened to me" she accused as she pointed an indignant finger at him "you proved otherwise 26 years ago when you left and changed your name so we could never find you"

"I didn't do that so you could never find me... I did it to protect you" he offered quickly as a stray tear fell from his eye "my debt... it got out of hand. They were coming after me, and I ran so they wouldn't hurt you guys" he tried to explain "the last thing I wanted to do was leave, and as the years ran by and I thought it might be safe again to reach out... I didn't know how"

"You tried to protect us" Amanda repeated as she bit her lip and placed her hands on her hip in anger. She took a deep breath and tilted her head back to control herself "Daddy, you think for a moment that just because you left your bookies wouldn't come after us?" she said with a deep outrage at her father's false sense of righteousness.

Ross was thrown off by his daughter's words, not even noticing that for the first time in 26 years she called him daddy, without it being caused by shock.

"They came and they went" Amanda continued not waiting for her father to respond "they demanded the money, but there was no way we had it so Mama had to open her legs so they wouldn't open our skulls"

"I didn't think..." Ross stammered

"No, you didn't think because all you're capable of doing is looking after yourself" Amanda pushed back "just like you are right now"

"No!" he yelled with tears freely pouring from his eyes "I'm sorry Amanda. I can never express how truly sorry I am for all the pain I caused you and Kim and your mom. I'm sorry for not being there to protect you from the world, from whoever raped you" he cried out as he choked on the last two words.

"I would do anything to make it up to you, but right now I promise I only have Dillan's best interest at heart. He's my world, Amanda. After I lost everything, he is the only thing I've been living for. I got sober for him, I quit gambling for him. So believe me when I say this deal is what's best"

"And you believe this because?" Amanda stated back in an almost broken voice, her own tears starting to form. She had waited so many years for an explanation as to why he left them. Wanting an apology, now that she had them, it only caused her more pain.

"Because your friends said so" he responded as he pointed out the door, "they said they didn't have a strong case, and if this went to trial they could walk scot-free. The last thing I want is for Dillan to feel like no one believed him, to have to tell his story only to be told he's wrong"

Amanda felt all the rage that had been building inside of her since she heard about the deal slip away. She had been so focused on her father, that she never even considered the facts of the case. If this had been any other victim she would agree with the deal. In fact, she would have never even questioned its validity. "I'm... I'm sorry" she finally said in a quiet voice "I shouldn't have rushed to judgment like that"

"No, it's not your fault," Ross said in return "I haven't given you much reason to think otherwise" Amanda couldn't help herself from nodding her head in agreement "and I knew that you only had Dillan's best interest at heart, just like me"

"I was thinking about Dillan, but I was also blinded by my anger at you" she admitted without shame

"That's reasonable," Ross said without judgment "so what do we do now?"

"With the case? It's closed, we move on and make sure that Dillan get's the proper help he needs so he can thrive again" Amanda responded quickly

"Not the case, with... us," he asked tentatively

"Us?" Amanda repeated and raised her eyebrows "there is no us, there's Dillan and me, but no us" she said firmly

"I get that your hurt at what I did, and I don't expect you to forgive me so easily but... can we at least... I don't know, talk?" Ross tried. He knew Amanda was stubborn, but he hoped she would be willing to let him still see her.

"We are talking" Amanda answered shortly. She wasn't going to go easy on him.

"You know what I mean, Amanda," he said with a sad sigh. His eyes pleaded her to understand "I just want a chance..."

"And you think you deserve one" she cut him off "after all these years... you expect me to just say 'oh well, my dad's back. All's right in the world again'" she stated bitterly

"Please for Dillan... and Jesse," he said his granddaughter's name in hesitation fearing he would set Amanda off. She only gave him a hard and unhappy look "Dillan has told me so much about her. He even showed me a picture. Please, Amanda, let me meet her"

"So you can abandon her too" Amanda fired off quickly "I'm glad you changed with Dillan, but you have yet to prove to me that I can trust you"

"Is it possible to be forgiven?" he asked with the look of heartbreak on his face "if not now... in the future?"

"I can't believe you would even ask me that," Amanda said with a shake of her head "after everything... I honestly can't give you and answer right now because it would certainly be no" Ross's head fell at this "but time... a lot of time and hard work on your part, maybe" she couldn't deny the fact that she wished she could know him again, but she lived in reality and wouldn't be able to trust him for years.

"I'll take that," Ross said instantly, a smile forming on his lips "all I need is a little hope and I can persevere"

"But that doesn't mean you'll get to see Jesse anytime soon" Amanda added sternly "I need to make sure that you're going to stick around before I even think about introducing you. My daughter comes first, always"

Ross was disappointed at her words but understood her reasoning "you're a good mother, Amanda" he said as he took a step closer "can I just ask one thing... can I hug my baby girl again. Just one more time and I'll never ask again" he pleaded with tears falling from his eyes again and held out his arms to allow her the decision

Amanda sniffled and blinked hard to hold back her own tears. Even after everything he had done to her, she couldn't deny that she was always daddy's little girl. Jut this once Amanda would let her hope win, to pretend to be that little girl again before she returned to the harsh reality of life she lived in. Amanda nodded her head and slowly walked into his embrace.

A/N: Sorry if any of you thought there was too much crying in this chapter, but this was a very emotional time for both of them. At the beginning of this story, I had planned for Amanda to never forgive him, because of all the pain she must have had to endure, but in the end, Amanda had been given so many second chances that I think she wouldn't be able not to give her father one. That's not to say that she instantly forgave him or has forgotten the last 26 years, just that the door is open to change :) I hope you guys liked this little tale. Thanks for taking the time to read it :)