Three Sheets to the Wind

by Relena's Glam Squad

Disclaimer: This may or may not have been written while intoxicated.

Chapter One: Space Pigeons

March 13, A.C. 201

Brussels Interplanetary Spaceport, Belgium

Relena Darlian fanned herself with her boarding pass, alternatively tugging at her crepe blazer. It was unusually hot in the spaceport, or maybe it was her. Maybe she was coming down with something, although she convinced herself that otherwise, she felt normal.

Still, something felt off.

She slipped off the blazer and draped it over the arm of her chair, where she sat waiting in the lounge. She was early; her flight wasn't boarding for another half-hour yet. Relena prided herself on being early. The rest of her team was off wandering the bustling spaceport, probably making one last restroom stop or grabbing food and magazines for the flight. Relena pulled at the neckline of her sleeveless silk shell. She still felt unbearably hot. It served her right for wearing silk while traveling, she supposed.

Relena glanced over at Edmond, her newest bodyguard. He was casting his eyes about furtively but otherwise looked bored. She caught his eye and smiled.

"I'll be right back," she promised as she bolted up from her seat. He arched a brow in response.

"Ladies room?" She knew if she said otherwise he would probably want to follow her.

"That, but first I'm going to check out the newsstand." Relena pointed to the nearby shop. "It's right over there. Would you like a water or anything?"

Edmond shook his head. "Nah, I'm good. Don't stray too far, though," he added in mock scolding, waggling his brows.

"Aye, aye." Relena gave him a tiny salute before sauntering off. Freedom, she sang to herself. Sweet freedom…

Most of the time she was free. Nowadays there simply weren't as many security threats to worry about. It was five years after the end of the Eve Wars, and the Earth and colonies were in the midst of a mostly peaceful era. Sure, threats popped up here and there, but the relatively new government, ESUN, and its intelligence arm, Preventer, seemed to be more than capable of quashing any uprisings before things got out of hand.

Without a world in need of saving, Relena found her job as Vice Foreign Minister being reduced to meetings and paperwork. When she first took over the role for her late adoptive father, she realized she was taking on a largely ceremonial title - of course, a little nepotism hadn't hurt - but she quickly found herself acting as an intercessor for the new government putting itself together. Now, Relena's position had transitioned into more of a cultural attache, and that was just fine with her. She was happy, and relieved, that the new system seemed to be working.

And so most of the time, especially when she was home on Earth, she could come and go freely as she pleased, without the need for a security detail. And Relena relished every bit of that freedom.

On the colonies it was another story. Despite ESUN's efforts to unite disparate citizens on Earth and in space, many colonists still harbored a deep mistrust of the government, with a heavy dose of cynicism. Even though it had been a while since Relena had been personally threatened, all government officials were given security details as soon as they stepped foot on any colony, as a precautionary measure. Most of the time Relena thought the requirement was downright silly, but she had to go along with it.

For now, she was enjoying a moment of solitude as she perused the newsstand. She finally selected a bridal magazine; even though she was the furthest thing from engaged, she enjoyed looking at the pretty pictures and knew it would help keep her relaxed during her flight. On that note, she also grabbed a bottled water and dark chocolate bar. She hadn't had dinner yet but decided that chocolate was an acceptable meal on its own sometimes, especially dark chocolate; it had antioxidants, or so she'd heard.

Relena was joining the queue to pay for her purchases, nearly bumping into a man lining up at the same time. She quickly sidestepped out of his way.

"I'm sorry, go ahead." She dipped her head and smiled politely.

"No way! Ladies first." The man grinned from under his baseball cap, gesturing for Relena to move in front of him. She murmured a thank you and started to move, but quickly realized the man looked familiar.

He was peering at her the same way.

"Relena?" He removed his ball cap, revealing bright blue eyes as his long braid tumbled out.

"Duo!" Relena beamed at the former Gundam pilot and automatically stuck out her hand. As a politician, she was used to doling out handshakes, but the braided man wasn't having it; instead he pulled her into a bear hug.

"I thought that was you!" Duo squeezed Relena's shoulders before releasing her, looking her over with an unabashed grin. "Long time no see, Princess! And looking pretty good, I might add." His smile somehow widened. "New haircut?"

Relena patted the ends of her angled bob. She had wanted to try something different for a long time and decided she liked having her hair above her shoulders, although she'd kept her signature bangs.

"The consequences of boredom on a rare day off," she explained breezily. Duo laughed.

"Ya know, some people just golf, but whatever floats your boat." Relena laughed at that. "So what else is new?"

"Not much," she admitted. "It's been pretty quiet lately, but thank God for that."

Duo sighed warily as he shifted his food purchases from one arm to the other. "You could say that, I guess." Relena arched a brow.

"Oh? Why, is business bad?"

"Naw, business is okay, although there is less of a demand for old MS scrap metal now that there hasn't been any fighting for years." Relena knew that by 'MS,' Duo was referring to mobile suits.

"There are plenty of other uses for that sort of material, though," she pointed out.

"Eh, not really." Duo shrugged. "I built a fort though." The admission sent her into a fresh set of giggles. "What? I really did."

"I'm not surprised," she said, wiping a stray tear from her eye. "That's adorable."

"Um, if by adorable, you mean awesome, then yeah." Duo grinned again. "Otherwise, life is pretty dull."

"How is Hilde?" Relena wondered. "Are you two... still together?"

"As a matter of fact, we're getting married." Duo rolled his eyes.

"Wow, that's great!" Relena clutched her bridal magazine to her chest. "You don't seem so excited, though."

"What guy ever is?" Duo said with a hint of irritation. "But hey, it's been five years, so I guess it's now or never."

"Well, I hope Hilde is happy, at least." Relena smiled encouragingly. "I'm sure it will be a lovely wedding."

"See now, I wanted to just elope, but she won't have it." Duo's eyes fell on Relena's magazine. "It's all these dumb magazines and chick flicks, I swear. I'd rather we just get the thing over with, ya know?"

"Oh, come on, it can't be all that bad." She patted his arm sympathetically. "At the very least, you get to enjoy a night of drinking and dancing with your friends."

"That I get to pay for," Duo quipped. "Consequences of being orphaned." Relena's heart went out to him.

"I know how you feel," she sighed. "But it's wonderful that you found someone you can share your life with, and I'm sure you'll enjoy celebrating that achievement together."

"That's one way to look at it," Duo mused, scratching his chin. "But, hey, you should come! The wedding's in June. I can email you an invitation…" He pulled a smartphone out of his jacket pocket. "Let me make sure I still have all your details…"

"Duo, that's very sweet," Relena started, preparing to turn him down. She didn't need to look at her calendar to know that she was probably already fully booked for the summer.

"Is 'R Darlian at ESUN dot gov' still your email?"

"That's me." She nodded.

"Sent!" Duo grinned. "Hope to see ya there. Who knows? You may bump into some other folks you remember from back in the day. It'll be like a high school reunion!"

"I hadn't thought of it that way, but you're right." Relena found herself blushing, unsure of whether she felt awkward or if she really was coming down with something. "Well, I hope that I can make it."

"That'd be great!" Duo smiled sincerely before his demeanor changed, and he frowned. "Hey! That's weird."

"What?" Relena glanced around them to see if anything strange had happened. The queue for the registers was moving along without them, but nothing seemed to be amiss.

"You haven't asked me about Heero at all."

"What?" Relena felt the flush creep back into her cheeks. "I mean, who?" Duo guffawed.

"You're amazing. Aren't you the least bit curious?" His eyes glimmered as if they were sharing some inside joke, but Relena wasn't sure she was actually in on it. "It's been like, what? Ages since you two talked, I bet."

She wanted to ask how he would know, but decided against it. "Have you two talked recently?"

"Oh, sure." Duo flapped a hand. "He sends me carrier pigeons from his bunker in Antarctica. All the way to outer space. They're special space pigeons, outfitted with the finest Gundanium alloy..." His voice trailed off as he chuckled.

Relena's eyes widened. "So what, he's basically disappeared?"

"I would assume so," he lamented. "Living the dream, the lucky bastard."

Relena didn't understand this desire to go into hiding, but then she hadn't had to fight in the war. As much as she tried to understand the ex-soldiers she encountered throughout her career, Relena knew she would never fully grasp what any of them had been through. Especially someone like Heero, who had single-handedly saved the world, but never received any recognition.

Not that he would have wanted any. Not the Heero she had briefly gotten to know.

"Well, that's too bad," she said softly. "I had hoped that even if we'd lost touch, he'd at least stay friends with his fellow pilots." She refrained from saying 'Gundam' in public, assuming Duo still kept a low profile.

"Yeah, I don't know, man…" Duo shrugged, looking perplexed. "When the war first ended we kinda hung out a bit here and there. Mostly on Preventer missions. Then eventually he dropped out, and basically dropped off the face of the Earth. And colonies."

"And are you still working for Preventer?" Relena kept her voice low.

"I do the odd job here and there, just like the others. But like I said, we haven't really been needed lately. So, scrapping it is."

"And fort-building," Relena added, smiling.

"Yeah, and now I'm gonna try to add space pigeon designer to my resume." Duo threw his head back as he guffawed. She laughed along with him, glad they had managed to change the subject. She refused to allow herself to down-spiral into worrying about the whereabouts of Heero Yuy.

Relena and Duo eventually parted ways, but not before she took his contact information. At the very least, she planned to send him and Hilde a nice wedding gift.

She wandered back to the seating area at her gate to find it mostly empty, save for a few people occupying random seats. And one very annoyed looking bodyguard.

"You're late." Edmond stood with his arms folded across his broad chest. "They've already boarded."

"Oh, I'm sorry." Relena frowned. "I ran into an old friend and we got caught up… Why didn't you come and get me?"

"I'm not your babysitter." His eyes rolled. "Besides, I thought you might be in the bathroom, and I definitely wasn't gonna check in there."

"Well, again, I'm sorry." Relena's cheeks burned as she swept past him toward the reception desk, reaching into her bag to retrieve her boarding pass. "We'd better get going…"

A loud ringing noise filled Relena's ears, and on instinct, she clapped her hands against the sides of her head. Hot air pressed against her body. She tried to open her eyes, but her vision was clouded by debris and smoke. She felt a pair of arms encircle her and drag her to the ground.

"Edmond?!" Relena shouted uselessly. Her own voice sounded thin and far away as the world around them seemed to crumble. She wheezed as smoke choked her lungs, all too aware of the body above her, acting as her shield.

Relena tasted the dust-filled air one last time before darkness enveloped her.

Next she felt two sensations. Hands, pressing hard against her chest, and a mouth breathing into hers. She gasped in pain, clutching at her newly-sore ribs as her breath came back to her.

"Relena."

She wasn't sure, at first, if the low baritone voice was real or imaginary.

Relena wrenched open her eyes, which were watering from the smoke. Fire crackled nearby, and she could hear shouts and cries from others around her. She bolted upright but felt strong arms holding her back.

"Don't move," the male voice instructed. Relena blinked away tears, bringing the face into focus.

That's not… "Heero?"

Surrounded by black smoke, his blue eyes stared at her, slightly obscured by his overgrown brown hair. Heero grabbed her by the elbows and hoisted her back up to her feet. Relena swiveled her head, trying to absorb the situation around her.

Firefighters in their heavy uniforms rushed through the area, pulling hoses along with them. Some were trying to put out a fire nearby. Others lifted debris off of unfortunate souls who were too close to the site of the explosion. Heero's hand closed around her wrist.

"We need to go," he said. "You have to be brought to safety."

"What's going on?" she asked, snapping her gaze back to him. He was smudged and covered in ash.

"Later." He tugged her along.

"What about Edmond?" she asked, looking around for her bodyguard. "Oh, God… he's not...?"

"He's fine," Heero barked. "Right now, it's you we're worried about."

"Huh?"

He didn't bother explaining anything else. He pulled her along behind him, dodging emergency workers and firefighters. As Heero navigated their way through the chaotic scene, Relena glanced back over her shoulder. To her relief, she saw two EMTs converge on Edmond's body, preparing to lift him onto a wheeled stretcher. She saw his mouth open in a groan and was cheered to see, at least, that he was conscious.

Heero halted at a door marked 'Fire Escape Only.' He pushed it open, which triggered an alarm. He let Relena through the doorway first.

"Go down," he ordered. Relena obeyed, simply because she didn't know what else she could do. Edmond wouldn't leave her mind. Sure, she'd only known him for a short time, but-

"Relena." Heero's voice disrupted her stream of thoughts. "Go."

She hurried down the steps as quickly as she could, but her high heels gave her some trouble. At the first landing, she felt Heero gently press her on to keep descending the stairs. Two landings later, they reached the bottom floor and exited the building, bursting out into the sunlight.

Relena blinked at the sudden brightness, and stared in horror at the sight before her.

There was hardly anything left of the shuttle. The shuttle she was supposed to board. A sick feeling filled her. All those people were dead. She should have been among them.

Firetrucks and ambulances, along with police, SWAT and official ESUN vehicles, had already swarmed the tarmac. Various emergency and law enforcement personnel descended on the shuttle, clearly combing the area for survivors. Relena knew there were none; there couldn't possibly be.

One of her hands flew to her mouth while the other gripped her abdomen. She felt the strong urge to retch. She calmed only slightly when she felt Heero's hands on her shoulders, gently turning her away from the scene.

"Come on," he urged. "I have a car."

She swung teary eyes up to him. "Heero… please tell me what's going on..."

Their eyes locked, and he seemed to see her for the first time. His face wore the same masked expression she had grown accustomed to years ago, although his features were more angular than she remembered. He was taller, too, but those weren't the only things that were different. He was different, somehow.

"Not now," he answered her, his voice betraying even less emotion than his eyes. "Let me take you somewhere safe."

Relena's gaze drifted back to the decimated shuttle, which TV news vans were now circling. She couldn't just leave. People would expect some sort of statement, especially once word would get out that she was one of the passengers. If she left now, without telling anyone, she would be presumed dead.

Maybe that was the idea.

"Relena." Heero brought a hand to her face to pry her gaze away. "Please."

She looked back at him sadly but nodded, understanding that his request was more of a command. If it had been anyone else, she would have fought them, but this… this was Heero Yuy. It didn't matter how many years had passed between them; she trusted him implicitly. Even if he had fallen out of contact with her, and Duo...

"Duo!" Relena's hands flew back to her mouth. "H-he was in there, too. We have to go back for him!"

Heero shook his head. "He can handle himself."

"I don't understand…" Relena tried to untangle the confusion clouding her brain. "Does he know you're here? Did you come here together? He said-"

"I said I'll explain later," he said curtly, pressing a hand to the small of her back as he steered her along. The other hand was gripping keys.

Relena allowed Heero to guide her through the crowded parking lot, where they came to a sleek black SUV. He opened the passenger door and helped her inside. She wondered absentmindedly how they were going to exit the spaceport, with an investigation well under way. She didn't even have any ID on her; her jacket was long forgotten; her baggage had been checked.

And then she realized her small purse was still tucked under her arm. She stared down at it in amazement. She must have been gripping it for dear life.

She was only vaguely aware as Heero started the car and drove out of the parking lot, stopping to flash his ID at a few officers along the way.

"I have Minister Darlian," he informed them each time. Oddly that seemed to be enough to get them through each checkpoint. Relena wondered what kind of credentials Heero must have had to satisfy the various authorities.

They rode along in silence for several minutes before Relena found her voice again.

"Where are we going?"

"Someplace safe," came Heero's automatic reply.

"So you said," Relena sighed. "Could you be more specific?"

"No." He didn't look at her as he spoke, keeping his eyes on the road. Relena noticed his jaw was clenched. She frowned.

"You know, you can tell me," she started. "You can drop the whole cloak and dagger thing any time now…"

"You should rest," Heero said flatly.

"Heero." Relena glared at him impatiently. "I don't need rest; what I need is information. You could at least tell me what you know. Are you working with the Preventers? Is that why you were at the spaceport? Did you know something was going to happen? Were you-"

"If you can wait," Heero cut in, "I can explain. Later."

Relena sighed her acquiescence. "Fine. If you promise."

"I promise." The phrase sounded funny, coming from him.

"Well…" Relena lowered her gaze to her lap before looking shyly back up at him. "I owe you a thank you. For saving my life."

Heero threw her a sidelong glance that appeared to convey a thousand things, all at once. "You don't have to thank me for that. If anything, thank Duo."

"Why…?" Her mind whirled.

"Because," said Heero, "if it weren't for him, we'd both be dead."

-Relena's Glam Squad