A.N~ Oops I accidently disappeared for an outrageous amount of time... my apologies

"Yuri," voices floated around him. "Open your eyes. Wake up." Hands prodded his shoulders and cheeks. Yuri felt them pulling him to the surface. His consciousness surfaced from deep water.

"Just let me go." Victor frowned at the barely audible whisper that left Yuri's lips. Yuri turned his head as the poking became more urgent. His nerves woke up and tingled up and down his limbs.

"Yura," Yakov said, shaking his student's shoulder roughly. Yuri groaned and his eyelids fluttered open. The intensity of the lights cut into his eyes. He was still on his back in the middle of the ice. Victor and Yakov were on either side of him. It was hard to tell how much time had passed. For Yuri, it felt like an eternity.

I was so close

"There you are," Victor said softly, a smile pinched the corners of his eyes. "Let's get you up." They put hands on either side of him and helped him sit up. His muscles ached from the small movement. His heartbeat throbbed in his skull.

"Slowly," Yakov grunted as he and Victor pulled Yuri to his feet. His body was trembling and they held tightly to him so he wouldn't fall. His left ankle protested his weight and he had to rely heavily on them as they hobbled towards the exit. The audience clapped once they saw the skater on his feet. Yuri looked around, it didn't seem real. It was too bright, too loud, and too overwhelming. This wasn't what he expected to see when he came to. In fact, he didn't expect to see anything at all.

"I don't understand," Yuri mumbled.

I was gone

Victor tightened his grip. His heart ticked violently in his chest. When they finally exited the gate Yuri reached down to put on his skate guards. Standing back up made his head swim and he braced on the boards with his elbows. Yakov placed a hand on Yuri's back. Yuri's hand moved up to the back of his head.

"Did you feel faint this morning?" Yakov asked. Yuri shook his head. "Did you eat?" Yuri shook his head again and Yakov sighed."Are you alright?" Yuri mumbled something he couldn't hear. Yakov leaned closer.

"I want to get my score," Yuri repeated. He pushed himself off the boards and took a step towards the Kiss and Cry. Sweat was dripping down from his forehead and when he put weight on his left foot he bit his lip and immediately shifted onto his other leg. Yakov gave him his arm to brace on and Yuri used it to limp over to the platform. Lilia slid onto the seat next to him and took his hand in hers. Yuri looked over at her and she gave his hand a squeeze. The fans sitting behind them were electric. Russian cries and praise fluttered down to them. Yuri turned and looked at them. Russian flags and posters were held up all around him. Yuri gaped at them awestruck. Yakov rubbed his back and Yuri turned to face the screen in front of him. His ankle was seriously starting to hurt and he had a headache. Lilia handed him a bottle of water. Yuri's eyes stared at the screen. His legs were shaking from fatigue and nerves. He couldn't remember his performance. He couldn't remember if it was enough to qualify, it was all just a blur.

"This is taking forever," he ground out. His voice sounded weak and didn't carry the bite he intended it to.

"You don't have to wait here," Yakov said under his breath. "You should see the trainer as soon as possible."

"I'm fine,' Yuri spat.

Unfortunately

His heart beat wildly in his temples as if it was mocking the fact that he was still alive. Something inside him was on edge. It was convinced he wasn't supposed to be there. The screen flashed suddenly making him jump.

No way

The water bottle fell from his hand and rolled across the floor. Yakov thumped his back. He had to read the score over again to make sure he wasn't hallucinating.

"Good Yuratchka!" Yuri felt like his heart was spinning.

"Personal best and the highest score we've seen this season," the announcer said. Yuri couldn't believe it. He couldn't breathe. He folded in on himself with his hands covering his face. It took all his effort to not sob in front of the world.

I'm going to the Grand Prix Final. I made it.

Lilia's hand rubbed circles on his upper back. Camera's flashed all around him. His hands wrapped around his head trying to contain the head splitting headache. Yuri was ushered to his feet and he tripped down the two steps off the platform. Victor was standing there to greet him.

"That was amazing!" Victor cooed. Yuri rolled his eyes at him and collapsed onto the nearest chair.

"Shouldn't you be with the piggy?" Yuri flicked the sweat off his face before it could fall into his eyes. Victor knelt and pulled at Yuri's laces.

"Yuuri is getting changed, he'll be back soon though don't worry!"

"I wasn't worrying," Yuri ground out with his arms crossed over his chest. Yakov walked over and stood next to him. Yakov handed him a towel and he wiped his face and the back of his neck.

"That was the best I've seen Agape performed all year. Yuuri will say the same I'm sure when he gets back," Victor said.

"What makes you think I care what he has to say? " Yuri snapped. Victor chuckled and continued to unlace Yuri's skates. When he tugged on the left skate, Yuri hissed.

"Ow! Stop it!" He tried to jerk his leg away but Victor held it in place.

"Okay, okay," he soothed. Yuri settled back into the chair, gripping the seat with white knuckles. "I'll be careful," Victor said, slowly working the skate off his foot. Yuri grit his teeth and tried to ignore the people bustling around him. Security prevented the press from coming any closer but they hovered. Yuri crossed his arms over his chest. Victor ran his hand along Yuri's ankle triggering a curse from the younger skater.

"Is it broken?" Yakov asked.

"No," Yuri huffed. He was ignored.

"I don't think so," Victor said. Yakov nodded. He placed a hand on Yuri's head and could feel the bump beneath his fingers. Yuri shied away,

"Don't touch it." Yakov withdrew his hand.

"Banged your head pretty good when you fell," Victor observed. Yuri just glared at him. He reached down to pick up his skates.

"I'm fine," he insisted. The movement gave him headrush and he had to brace his hand on Victor's shoulder not to fall out of the chair.

"Whoa careful," Victor said, pushing Yuri back in his chair. Yuri shook his head to clear the dizziness. Lilia walked over to them.

"The trainer is ready when we are," she said. Yakov nodded and coaxed Yuri to his feet. Yuri didn't bother fighting it. Victor moved to support Yuri's other side but Yakov stopped him,

"He's right. You're a coach now, you have your own skater to worry about." Victor stepped back and let Lilia take his place. They began dragging Yuri towards the door. A reporter intercepted them.

"That was quite a comeback. Do you have anything to say about the upcoming Grand Prix Final?" Yuri was out of breath, sweating, bruised, and light headed. He sent the camera his signature glare. Before Yakov and Lilia could drag him away he said,

"I'll have gold around my neck before the end of the year. Count on that."

When Yuri looked over he locked eyes with Yuuri. Katsudon was wearing the Eros costume and had an earbud in one his ears. "Davai," Yuri said as they walked past him. Yuuri looked like he was going to say something but Yakov and Lilia dragged the younger skater away before he had a chance.

The trainer was a younger man with dark hair and a heavy French accent. He had Yuri sit up on one of his exam tables were carefully maneuvered Yuri's ankle and took note of the swelling.

"It looks like you rolled it pretty good. Stay off it for at least a week. Ice it and keep it taped for the rest of the month to prevent re-injury." Yuri nodded and winced as the trainer wrapped med tape tightly around his ankle. Ice followed and quickly numbed the pain. "Do you know why you fainted?" The trainer asked. Yuri shrugged. "Did you eat today?"

"No, he didn't," Yakov interjected. The trainer nodded and rolled his stool across the room.

"It doesn't seem to be anything other than exhaustion and low blood sugar." He reached into the mini fridge and pulled out a jug of fruit juice. He poured it into a styrofoam cup and stuck a straw in the lid. "Start with this, and then food. We have to get some calories in you." Yuri took the cup and sipped on the straw. Lilia was beside herself tapping her foot and chewing so hard on the corner of her lower lip her lipstick was coming off.

"This is unacceptable Yuri, you know better." He wouldn't meet her eye. "We talked about this. You said you would take better care of yourself. You promised." Yuri rolled his eyes and turned his shoulder to them.

"I'm doing the best I can ok?" He muttered. That seemed to shut them both up. Lilia shook her head and turned to the trainer.

"Is there really nothing else we should be doing?" The trainer looked at her anxious figure and responded cooly,

"Just rest."

"And I'm assuming the short program tomorrow will have to be scratched?" Yakov asked.

"Well… Normally I would say yes but, I would really hate to see a free skate like that go to waste. If the swelling goes down and you can walk on it by tomorrow night you can stake." The trainer smiled at the look of surprise that crossed Yuri's face. "Just nothing too fancy, not that you would need it with your score today." He gave a final smile, walked over to his desk, and sat down to answer an email. Lilia turned to Yuri.

"That's it then. No quads tomorrow and you're going straight to the hotel after this."

"Like hell I am. There's no way I'm spending the rest of the day cooped up in a hotel room."

"Yuri it's that or you're going home. End of discussion," Lilia said thoroughly exasperated.

Only after he had drained the cup was Yuri allowed to hobble out of the trainer's room on borrowed crutches. He ducked into the locker room to change and ditch his entourage. He slipped into street clothes and donned his signature team Russia jacket. He glanced at his phone and saw that Otabek had texted him. A lot. He scrolled through the messages the last of which read, 'Where the hell are you'. Yuri scoffed internally and replied, 'Locker room.' He could see Otabek read the message immediately and not but a minute later the door was opened and footsteps ran in.

Otabek froze in front of his best friend eyeing the nearby crutches and the tired look in his eyes.

"You look worse than I do," Yuri scoffed. Otabek shook his head at the comment.

"Are you okay?" He asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine." Yuri's response did not put the older skater at ease. He grit his teeth as Otabek collapsed onto the bench next to him, jostling his head. Otabek ran a hand over the back of his neck.

"Are you really?" Yuri could only meet his eyes for a second before he felt choked up. He stared at the ground locking his eyes on a reflected spot of light on the tile. "Because… You don't have to be. Not with me." A single tear slipped from his eye and he flicked it away before it could even wet his cheek.

"I'm trying to be okay," Yuri all but whispered. He glanced over at Otabek, his eyes danced back and forth as he focused on his face. Otabek shifted his weight as if he could physically prepare himself to take on some of Yuri's burden.

"You went somewhere," Otabek started, "when you were skating. I could see it. And when you went down I thought you'd never come back." Yuri felt something cracking inside him, his heart ached like it had lost something, something he couldn't live without. "But you did. You got up."

"I didn't want to," Yuri snapped. His heart might be hurting but his stomach was filled with flames. "I was so sure that it was over." He shook his head with a bitter chuckle. "I was ready."

"Yura-"

"No. Don't. Don't tell me I'm being dramatic. Don't tell me I have so much to live for because I know. I know I have a life and people that care about me and a career doing what I love," another tear ran down his face, "I know it's fucked up but I've felt like I've been suffocating for months and for a second it was like I could finally breathe." Yuri blinked to clear his eyes. "I want my life I just don't know how to live it." Otabek sat quietly and let the words wash over him. Yuri angrily whipped at his face and took a deep breath. "This is where you tell me to get over myself and to ignore the things they're saying about me."

"I can't," Otabek said. Yuri's eyes widened. "What happened to you was fucked up. Nothing I can say is going to change that. They broke you." Yuri scoffed. "Yura, look at yourself. You know I'm right."

"So what? Am I broken forever then? I can't just keep falling apart."

"No. You fight back. You're a soldier, remember? So you get up and you make them regret ever underestimating you." Yuri snorted through his nose.

"Are you declaring war?" Yuri asked, an air of humor settling over them.

"Man the Battlestations," Otabek said with an almost undetectable laugh. Yuri looked at him for a second before they both burst out laughing. Yuri was relieved that the storm of emotions had subsided.

They let a silence settle over them. Soon, Yuri's bag of melted ice began to leak onto the floor, soaking his socks and sneakers.

"What did they say about your ankle?" Otabek asked. Yuri shrugged and reached down to throw away the bag of water.

"It's nothing," Yuri murmured. Otabek raised an eye at him.

"Really?" Otabek lightly tapped Yuri's ankle with his shoe. Yuri flinched and sucked air through his teeth.

"Screw you," he ground out causing Otabek to laugh under his breath.

"I'm sorry, does it really hurt?" Yuri only shrugged. Otabek's phone dinged and he glanced at it. "Mila's here. She says Georgie is next."

"Mila? Right, I forgot you two talk," Yuri pushed himself to his feet. He wasn't as light headed as he had been before the juice but his muscles still shook with even the small effort it took to stand. Otabek picked up the crutches and held them out. Yuri shook his head, "I don't need them." He took a step and visibly paled.

"Yes you do, you can't walk," Otabek said, pushing the crutches at Yuri more forcibly. Yuri ignored him and limped forward another step just barely putting weight on his left toes. Otabek watched him with a raised eyebrow. "Yuri-"

"It's barely a sprain, I'm fine," Yuri said cutting him off. He tried to ease more pressure onto his leg but sharp pain caused his knee to bend. Otabek was at his side in a minute. He supported Yuri around his waist and shoved a crutch under his opposite arm. Yuri grumbled at him but rested his weight on the crutch anyway. "What's the big deal?" Otabek asked quietly, still holding Yuri up.

"I don't want anyone to see," Yuri replied adjusting the crutch under his arm.

"See what? That you're injured?"

"I don't want to give them anything to talk about." Yuri pulled away, accepting the other crutch. Otabek looked at the way Yuri seemed to shrink into his jacket.

"Yura… The way you skated today, that's the only thing people are going to be talking about." They locked eyes and Yuri felt a blush creep up on his cheeks.

"You're an idiot," Yuri murmured. He crutched across the room leaving Otabek with a stupid smirk on his face. Yuri paused, "Are you gonna get the door?"

Otabek trailed Yuri closely as they snuck down the hall. Yuri had his eyes peeled for any sign of his coaches and Otabek made sure he didn't run into any walls or small children. When they got into the stands Mila waved them over. Yuri ditched the crutches and used Otabek's arm to climb down the bleacher steps. Mila slid over to give them a place to sit. Her eyes lingered on Yuri's wrapped ankle but she kept her mouth shut. Yuri sprawled out on the bench. He put his head on Mila's thigh and his ankle in Otabek's lap. The older two didn't even blink at his actions. Mila trailed her fingers through his long blond hair as Georgie's music started playing. From where he was lying Yuri could watch the performance on the large screen above the rink. He stared at it not really taking in Georgie's free skate. His eyes felt heavy and he let them drift closed.

Just for a minute

He jumped when the people around him started clapping. Mila giggled at him as he shot up. Yuri rubbed his eyes, the sound was intensifying his headache.

"Do you want me to ride back with you to the hotel?" Otabek asked.

"No." Yuri laid back down and wrangled Mila's bouncing leg back under his head. He held it in place by wrapping his hand around the underside of her knee and resting his fingers on the top of her leg.

"You have sleep to catch up on," Otabek insisted.

"So?" Yuri closed his eyes again and let himself drift off.

He opened his eyes a few hours later. He looked around groggily realizing there was a leather jacket resting over his shoulders and a french braid holding the hair away from the left side of his face. He looked up and caught Mila's eye.

"Thank God," She said. "My leg fell asleep an hour ago." Yuri sat up slowly, holding the leather jacket on his lap.

"What time is it? Who's turn is it?" Yuri asked, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. Before either of them could answer the announcer's voice came over the speakers.

"Up next Japanese skater Yuuri Katsuki." Yuri's mouth went dry. His heart fluttered with anxiety he didn't understand.

"I want to leave," he said. Otabek looked over at him with a raised brow.

"There's only one skate left," He said. Yuri thrust the leather jacket into its owner's hands.

"Let's go." Yuri stood quickly forgetting about his ankle and a burst of discomfort would have caused him to fall if Otabek hadn't stood to steady him.

"Fine. Let's go back to the hotel," Otabek said. Yuri ignored him and instead remained as still as a statue. His eyes were glued to the ice as Yuuri stepped out. Eros rang out of the speakers and stole Yuri's breath away. Otabek didn't fail to notice the way Yuri stood frozen like a deer in headlights. "Are you ok?" Yuri didn't respond. He couldn't look away from the ice. Yuuri set up for his first jump and Yuri flinched.

Don't fall. Don't fall. Don't fall.

Otabek placed a hand on his shoulder. "Yuri-" Otabek's voice cut off as Yuri turned and buried his face in his neck.

"I can't watch." His voice sounded as if he was begging. Yuuri landed his jump with ease.

"It's ok he landed it."

"There's two more," Yuri choked out.

He's been off the ice for a long time. If he get's hurt it's my fault.

"The triple combination-" Yuri spat just as Yuuri prepared for the jump. Otabek wondered how he could have known without watching. The crowd made a noise as Yuuri's hand touched down on the ice due to an over rotation. Yuri turned his head expecting to see blood and bone. He was instantly captivated by the effortless way Yuuri was skating. The Japanese skater was moving as if he had wings. Yuri stepped away from Otabek and watched the performance with his mouth gaping. Yuri felt his eyes become glassy. Everything that had built up over the past month was washing over him. All of the fear that he'd been holding in his chest began to evaporate. Yuuri was skating as if no time had passed as if the accident had never happened. When it was over Yuri's heart began beating again. He turned and ran down across the bleachers. Past Otabek and Mila, past the spectators and reporters, he kept going until he was next to the Kiss and Cry. He watched Victor pull Yuuri close into his side and hug him tightly when the score appeared on the screen. Yuri didn't know why he was there or what he was going to say. They walked down the steps together. The press was trying to advance upon them when Yuri spoke up, "Katsudon!" He walked over to them unsure exactly what his feet had in mind. Victor smiled brightly,

"Looks like both of you qualified for the Grand Prix Final, how great is that?" His voice was bubbly. Yuri ignored him and surged forward. He wrapped his arms around Yuuri and hid his face against his shoulder. Yuuri stood frozen in place.

"I'm sorry about Moscow and I'm glad you're not dead," Yuri said quietly. Cameras flashed all around them.

"Ditto…" Yuuri trailed off. He looked at Victor helplessly. Yuri pulled away and shoved his hands in his pockets. "Yurio-"

"Shut up. It doesn't mean anything," Yuri said, a blush of embarrassment flared across his cheekbones. "We're not friends piggy. I'll destroy you at the Grand Prix Final." Yuuri just laughed at him.

"We'll see."

More photographers moved in snapping dozens of pictures each. Yuri sunk into the collar of his jacket. His chest grew tight. Yuuri swung an arm over his shoulders snapping him out of his discomfort.

"What are you doing?" Yuri ground out.

"Just smile and wave," Yuuri replied through his teeth. After only a minute Yuri had to shift his weight onto his right leg only. Victor noticed. He walked over and moved in between them putting an arm around both of them.

"You ran all the way down here on a rolled ankle? That was pretty dumb."

"Shut up," Yuri replied under his breath. They continued to stand for pictures.

"Don't worry," Victor murmured into his ear, "we'll create a diversion." Yuri followed his eyes and noticed Otabek standing against the wall with his arms crossed over his chest. "Be ready to run." Victor released Yuri's waist and in one smooth motion spun Yuuri against his chest and dipped him towards the floor. Once the cameras were effectively distracted Yuri hobbled in a slow escape. Otabek met him halfway and basically carried his weight until they were out of sight.

They stepped outside and into the last few minutes of sunlight. Yuri let the light fill him with a sense of hope.

"What now?" Otabek asked. Yuri thought for a moment. The wind blew his hair around his face. When he turned the golden light gave him a halo.

"It's like you said," Yuri glanced through the building windows locking his eyes on two familiar silhouettes,"we fight back."

I'll probably go back and chance a few things. I'll be going out of town soon and I didn't want to wait until I get back in like... a ridiculous amount of time haha. If you want me to write something specific let me know I'd love to work on some new stories while away. I don't know if I have anymore for this fic... all good things come to an end. If I went back it would be to fix/add more details. If you want to see more just suggest something- I'm craving new content. It's been a blast- XOXO I Can Never Tell