"Johnathan Kilroy."

I didn't remember closing my eyes. Or opening them as a matter of fact, but after I heard the voice I was able to see again. I found myself sitting in a simple wooden chair in a moderate sized 'room', for lack of a better term. Though there was no discernible source of light I could see the floor was black and white marble arranged like a chessboard but in comparison the walls were something otherworldly. It was as though someone had taken the night sky and turned it into a sheet to hang from every wall, it gave a feeling of immense vastness like standing on a mountaintop on a cloudless night. I looked upwards to see the same, taking off the akubra I had borrowed from my father as I did so and hanging it from the back of the chair.

It was breathtaking, awe-inspiring. So why did I feel such a sense of detachment? Before I could ponder this the voice spoke again. "Welcome to the afterlife." The speaker was a young woman. She had appeared out of the blackness, unconcerned with the strangeness of this place and sashayed her way past me to sit in the chair opposite mine, somehow I had failed to notice it - it was made of pale wood with a velvet cushion, high-backed like something owned by the wealthy yet humble. She sat herself down in the chair like a fledgling Empress - youthful arrogance tempered with oft repeated lessons on poise and decorum. She possessed European features with creamy white skin yet her hair was a soft blue the same shade as her eyes, impossibly it looked natural.

"Moments ago, you died. Your life was short yet you conducted yourself with compassion and nobility, even to the end." That was rather generous, I considered myself pretty lazy much of the time. Her voice was soft and soothing with an undercurrent of beaurecratic sternness, I couldn't help but feel she had given this speech many times before.

To the end... What had I been doing?

It was Sunday, I had decided to go to the swap-meet in Cessnock. I wasn't looking for anything in particular but I had bought a couple bits and pieces. Some biscuits, wool socks, a rotary beater, a shanghai and some coveralls - I wanted to make a Vault-suit for a con and had found a cheap one in my size. I had been wandering around for a couple hours already and had just grabbed a soft serve from the Mr. Whippy van parked near the old tower when I heard the foreboding groan of failing metal.

So that was what happened. I had been enjoying a day out when I was crushed to death by a rusty old structure that hadn't been used in decades. I could picture it clearly - the morning sun chasing away the winter chill, the dry grass and the old racetrack covered in hoofprints, the smell of sausages with onion from the canteen, the children with their toys... the girl with the pinwheel. I realised there was something I had to ask.

"Is the kid okay?" The woman smiled and I felt the deepest relief come over me. "Yes, the child will end her day with nothing but a few tears because of you." That was a relief, I can't imagine anything worse than trying to save someone and only succeeding in getting the two of you killed. But I couldn't help but notice something off, the corners of the goddess' mouth twitched like she was holding something back, it was subtle but definitely there. If I didn't know better I'd say she was trying not to laugh. Curiosity may have killed the cat but since I was already dead I had little to lose. "What is it?"

She tried to school her features into an air of calm superiority but failed. "I don't know what you are talking about." I crossed my arms over my chest and cocked an eyebrow, making sure my tone was skeptic without being accusatory - who knows how quick to anger this apparent Goddess might be. "So you're holding back the giggles over something completely unrelated?" She managed another three seconds before the reason behind her good mood was revealed.

"Well," She drew out the word, milking it to her satisfaction. "The girl is fine." Good, but that's not what I asked. "And you would have been as well if your foot hadn't slipped." That sounded familiar. In fact, now that she said it I remember clearly. I was looking directly at the tower when it started to fall, it should have been simple enough to push the kid out of the way, move several steps or even pick her up and take a leap sideways. However when I moved I remember my foot coming down and suddenly losing traction, I lost my momentum and only had enough time to reach out and push them away. Why had that happened?

"You stepped in pile of dog poo."

Oh... Well, that wasn't the high note I wanted to go out on.

On the plus side at least I had managed to make someone laugh. Said someone being a goddess, so extra points. I tried to keep my appearance stoic for as long as I could but eventually gave in. "So you're saying I was betrayed by my best friend?" She stared at me with wide eyes full of disbelief, both hands coming up to cover her mouth and hold in the laughter that despite her best efforts escaped with a porcine note. Yes, I made a goddess snort in laughter, what have you done today?

"Holy crap, can you imagine the headlines?" Pun fully intended. "Number one story spoiled by number two." The giggles returned with a vengeance. "Man vs. Manure." A dainty hand slapped the arm of her chair. "Good deed undone by dog doo." I had to take a break, any more and she was likely to wet herself.

Eventually the sound of laughter tapered off, the Goddess wiping at her eyes before she recovered enough to speak. "I must say, you're taking this much better than most." I chuckled before shrugging. "You know what they say, shit happens." That pushed the goddess into another bout of giggles while I tried to maintain control of myself, it was so much harder to keep a straight face when someone else was letting loose. She took a moment to adjust herself, smoothing down her outfit - a rather anime-esque getup consisting of blue and white with bare shoulders, knee-high socks and a pleated skirt that flared outwards in a way that on Earth would require a wire underframe. A slender finger wiped at her eyes where a few tears had begun to gather. "Oh thank you, I needed that." When she spoke now the aloofness was absent from her voice, I'd go so far as to say she sounded rather friendly. "My name is Aqua, I am the goddess who guides the souls of those who die young into the afterlife." I had assumed most of that already, but it was good to have a name to go to the face. A goddess of water, not what I expected from death but if that's the way it is.

Now we came to the heart of the matter. "You have two choices: you may start from square one with a new life," Fair enough, I imagine for a lot of people tabula rasa would be a welcome change. "Or you can go to heaven and carry on like an old man." She didn't mean watch tele, do the gardening and shout at kids, I hope. She leaned forward and placed a hand next to her mouth like she was about to impart some great secret. "The truth is, heaven isn't everything you think it is." If it turned out heaven was spending an eternity sitting on a cloud while angels play harps then I would take reincarnation in a heartbeat.

Aqua pitched her voice low, just in case there were other gods listening in. "There's no books or television or any kind of entertainment, you don't actually have a physical body so you can't do anything fun either." I decided that the way her voice changed on the word 'fun' was purely my imagination. "There's nothing to do but bask in the sun for all eternity." And how exactly would one bask in the sun without a body to absorb the sun's rays anyway. Clearly this conversation was leading to something but I couldn't be sure of what. "Well, that sounds boring as hell. No offense." When she smiled at my words I could tell that this was exactly what she wanted to hear.

The goddess leaned back in her chair and crossed her legs, bouncing one foot idly. "So, do you like videogames?" The non-sequitor caught me off guard, I nodded. "Yeah, if you've been watching my life you know that already." If she asks if I wanted to be reincarnated as one of my favourite characters I may kiss this goddess.

"Well, there does happen to be a third option."

"Could you hurry up a little? Other souls need to be sent along, you know."

The admonishment was delivered around a mouthful of chips, which she hadn't even bothered to share, rude girl. Did she honestly think choosing a perk was something so simple? There was a lot to consider. A weapon or powerful item would be an instant boost to allow power levelling for beginners but would likely be equalled or surpassed at high levels and of course an item can always be lost, stolen or destroyed. Loot goblins, thief characters - no, best to stick to abilities.

Some of these were potentially useful, others were too precise to be useful in varied situations and some were straight-out plagiarism. The one I was examining at the moment read: 'Joyvah Armour: grants the blessee a suit of self-repairing armour that can be summoned by speaking the word 'Joyvah'. Increases the character's physical stats tenfold and grants increased healing as well as carrying several onboard weapons. Created by Hephaestus.' That one went in the 'maybe' pile.

A world of heroes, magic and monsters - it sounded like a dream come true. A world that obeyed video game rules, where defeating monsters and completing quests rewarded experience points that allowed you to 'level up' which improved your own abilities, allowing one to accomplish feats impossible in a world of science and logic. Not only would I be sent there but I would be granted a 'blessing of the gods' of my choice, this decision must not be taken lightly.

A memory struck me of playing Suikoden with a game shark, we were using a cheat that quadrupled the amount of experience rewarded. "Are there any skills that increase your rate of growth?" Aqua was now lying lengthways across her chair, legs dangling over one arm and head over the other, throwing caramel popcorn into her mouth, she chewed noisily and swallowed before answering. "No, the asian kids always grab those ones as quick as they come." Well, bugger.

Though that did give me pause. "How many people have you sent over already?" The goddess waved a hand dismissively, "Oh you know, a few thousand." And none of them had beaten the Demon King? How many were even still alive? A daunting thought occurred and with the earnest hope that I was jumping to conclusions I asked my next question. "And what happens to the weapons those people took when they die, do they disappear or lose power?" She was beginning to look impatient now, either that or her spine was starting to hurt. "Only the gifted ones can use the items granted by the Gods, for anyone else they're worthless." Okay, good, at least they're not stupid enough to be arming their enemies like certain political and economic superpowers. Unless the Demon King can brainwash or enslave the bearers, a world of magic would likely have that ability. I told myself to stop getting worked up and shook my head, continuing the search.

The next one gave the user unparalleled control over fire as well as a body made of the same. The upside was invulnerability to ordinary weapons, the downside was vulnerability to water or lack of air. Straight to the 'no' pile.

"Okay, if you don't pick a blessing in five minutes I'm sending you anyway." Any patience or respect I had for this so-called goddess quickly dried up. For God's sake! I'd literally died, been brought to this purgatory and told I was needed to fight in a war against some demon king I'd never bloody heard of and now this brat was complaining that I took half an hour to choose something that would decide whether I had the strength to carry out my divine mission?! I'd like to see her in my shoes.

The next seven pages had their opening paragraphs skimmed and were set aside quickly. 'Laser eyes' - no. 'Unlimited Inventory' - no, 'Fighter's Spirit' - maybe, 'Weapon Mastery' - maybe, 'Status Immunity' - no, 'Argonaut' - no, 'Chi Master' - maybe, 'Danger Sense' - n-wait a moment. I replayed that last one while my body paused with the page halfway to the 'no' pile. Drawing back the sheet of vellum I read it again with greater attention.

'Danger Sense: confers upon the blessee the sixth* sense, able to detect anything that poses a direct threat to their person including: hostile beings or creatures, physical/magic attacks, traps, environmental hazards and stray projectiles. At first the blessee will only feel a vague sensation of 'danger', with time they will be able to identify the nature and direction said threat and once mastered the possessor can perceive their entire surroundings instantly and may even be able to recognise threats before his/her attacker has fully decided how to act. Also grants enhanced reflexes.

*Note: Current medical science is divided on how many senses humans actually possess. Conventional wisdom says five however some neurologists list as many as twenty-one.

This blessing has been crafted by the God Anansi, any resemblance to any ability in real life or fiction is purely coincidental and I'm a God so what I say goes, got it?

It appears that the Greeks were right, Gods really are human and petty creatures. Regardless, that sounded ridiculously useful. And twenty-one, really? I stood, collected my hat and put it back where it belonged then adjusted it to sit comfortably. "Goddess Aqua? I've made my decision."

"Finally!" I made my way to her chair and handed over the ability I had chosen, Aqua licked the evidence of her snacking from her fingers before taking the sheet and poring over it with an impatient gaze. "'Danger Sense'? Sounds like something a coward would come up with." I raised an eyebrow, should she really be talking about other Gods like that? The sheet burst into light in her grip, bright enough that I had to squint and cover my eyes as it flowed upwards, I peered through parted fingers as it swung back down and flew straight into my chest. I felt a slightly warm tingle and then nothing. "So, that's it?"

Instead of an answer I was startled as a runic circle appeared beneath my feet, reflexively I tried to step away but found I couldn't escape the inner ring. "Don't move, you'll only throw the spell off." My head flicked back and forth as I tried to examine the spell but obviously I was way out of my depth, I could recognise some of the markings as Norse runes but knew nothing of their meanings.

"Hang on, what about money or basic supplies, don't I get anything like that?" The circle under me faded as the Goddess' face grew red with embarrassment. "Heh, whoops. Almost forgot about that." She clicked her fingers and I bowed slightly as I felt a weight settle on my back, I looked over my shoulder to see the same backpack I had been wearing when I died. Shrugging a shoulder free I swung it around and opened the rear zipper, rather than a collection of medieval goods - sheepskin, woolen cloak, dried meat, flint and steel or even a simple dagger I instead found it contained the exact same items it did an hour ago. I resealed the bag and swung it back on.

"Thanks, but won't I stand out like this?" I asked as I plucked at my green t-shirt bearing the legend 'M*A*S*H 4077th'. Between that, the backpack and my cargo pants I was sure to stick out like a sore thumb in a medieval world. Unless it was one of those ones where magic exists alongside technology in a modern or futuristic setting like the Final Fantasy series. "It's not a problem." She dismissed my concerns casually. "You will be sent to the town of beginners, they're used to people turning up in weird outfits." Fair enough, if they really have sent thousands ahead of me then what difference would one more foreigner make.

"Well, thanks for the help. I guess I'll see you next time I die?" The Goddess nodded, once again carrying herself like a queen before a servant. "I wish you luck brave adventurer and pray that you will be the one to defeat the Demon King." And we're back to the rehearsed lines. I closed my eyes in preparation for the journey, taking in a deep breath which was held to the count of three then slowly released. "Could you pray I don't step in anything? That'd be appreciated." I heard a giggle in response which was cut off by a squawk of shock. I opened my eyes to see an identical magic circle had appeared underneath the Goddess. "W-What's going on!?" Aqua was even more shocked than I was, with voice pitched high in confusion she hammered her fists against the invisible barrier that kept her inside the array, "Hey! Hey, let me out!"

A voice from the void answered her, the newcomer spoke with all the weight of her compassion. "Forgive us Goddess Aqua, but the pantheon has come to a decision." Out of the starscape emerged another woman, this one borne down on wings of brightest white that sparkled with a purity that nothing in nature could hope to match. She clasped her hands together as if in prayer as she talked, her apologetic voice doing little to calm the blue-haired Goddess. "For the sin of excessive pride, as well as insulting the other Gods and belittling the blessed, it has been decided that you shall be sent alongside this young hero until such time as the Demon King is defeated." She held a hand out towards me, the simple act somehow making Earth's most famous actresses and models appear like clumsy children. So this is what a true Goddess is like.

Aqua's voice had turned shrill in panicked desperation. "You can't do this! This has to be a joke! What about Dionysus? Donny has my back, right?" The angelic figure gently shook her head in regret, hair the colour of rich cream and tips of rose petals swaying back and forth with the graceful motion. She turned to me, "Please protect this one, adventurer. We leave her in your care." I found myself giving a single nod, unable to do otherwise even as Aqua screamed for mercy, begged to not be sent away. "Then I send you on your path, may fortune favour you both." As the light grew blinding the last thing I heard was Aqua's cries.

When the light faded I found myself overlooking a lush field edged with woods and broken by a well worn dirt road, in a fantasy world that probably classed as a highway. Following the track with my eyes I turned and saw a massive stone wall a short walk away, this must be the town of beginners the Goddess had mentioned.

Speaking of whom, said Goddess hadn't made a sound since we got here. "Hey, are you okay?" She made no response. "We'd better get moving, I don't want to know what kind of things come out at night around here." I took three steps before I heard a high-pitched sob from behind, the formerly cavalier deity had her arms around her waist, clutching herself in shock and despair. "H-how could they?" Her voice was broken, disbelieving. The goddess' hands came up to grip the sides of her head and she let out such a wail that my sister's tantrums looked like the a mewling kitten in comparison.

I wasn't very experienced in comforting a crying woman but though feeling completely inadequate I placed my hand on her shoulder, in response she grabbed my shirt in her slender hands and began shaking me while screaming unintelligibly. Aqua was an awful lot stronger than she looked, considering her nature that was to be expected. Eventually she ran out of breath and just stood there panting, I placed my hands over her own. "There's nothing I can really say to help right now but we need to start moving, okay?" She hiccuped and nodded but made no effort to move, I took one of her hands in mine and after a moment of slack resistance began leading her to the town gates.

From the side we approached it appeared that the entrance was unguarded, as we reached the gates themselves we saw that the guards were merely standing out of sight in the shade. I was half expecting a toll to be demanded but they just waved us through, inside was exactly what I thought a fantasy town would look like. Stone buildings, red tiled rooves, a chimney in every house, the windows made of glass surprisingly, but that was nothing compared to the people. Men and women in colourful and often quite revealing armour, weapons that should have taken two strong men to lift wielded by people no larger than me, Elves - real Elves! And Cat-People! I had truly died and gone to nerd heaven.

Aqua had been following docilely but surrounded by people she regained some of her liveliness, pulling her hand pulled out of my grip to adjust herself, smoothing down the mess her hair had become after she tore her fingers through it in panic earlier. I waited until she felt presentable again before I asked my question. "So, is there some kind of trainer or guild master we need to see?" There was, unfortunately the location of the Adventurer's Guild was apparently too trivial for a Goddess like Aqua to be concerned with so I had to find it myself.

I must have been too out of sorts to ask earlier, but obviously my money would be next to useless here, how was I supposed to buy anything, or even register as an adventurer? "Do we have any money?" Aqua nodded, "In your middle pocket, I'm not so foolish as to forget that." I neglected to mention that I had actually needed to remind her about starting equipment and shrugged out of my backpack to find it. She was right, nestled in between a bundle of blue cloth and a plastic tub full of choc-chip biscuits was a leather pouch I had never seen before that jingled with a metallic tone. It seems I owed this goddess an apology.

A few steps down the road Aqua spoke again. "Oh yeah, you're one of those prepper weirdos so you've got everything we might need, right?" I didn't know whether to be offended or impressed by how wrong she was, so I just gave her an unimpressed look over my shoulder as I kept walking. "Keeping a change of clothes and a blanket in your car does not a prepper make." She gave me a flat, disbelieving look. "And what do you have in here?" She asked, with a pointed look at my former schoolbag. I shrugged, feeling the weight shift against me. "Stuff I bought plus the usual." Of course she wasn't willing to leave it at that, I took a deep breath. "Blanket, water bottles, change of clothes, snacks, pocket knife, duct tape, emergency blanket, playing cards, matches, lighter, torch, mess tool, nail clippers, towel and whistle." Smugness radiated from the Goddess.

"Normally." She made a noise of confusion. "Normally I'd have all that stuff in there, but since I was at a swap-meet I had to make space." The stone road wasn't very busy, whether that was normal for this time of day or not I couldn't say. "So what do you have?" I angled off to a sun-darkened man in rough woolen clothes standing at an old wooden cart loaded with fruits. "One water bottle and the small stuff." The larger items had been dumped into the car with the tarp, first aid kit, toilet paper and other sundries.

"Good morning." I greeted the owner with a nod and he smiled gregariously. "Good morning, care for some fresh fruits? Just picked them." I grinned and began browsing his wares, "That's why I'm here." I picked up a small apple, almost as brown as it was red but the noise it made when tapped told how crisp it was. "Just got to town, I'll bet." I sighed and put the fruit down. "That obvious?" He laughed, "Some days I swear I see more people asking for directions than food." I chuckled, deciding I liked this bloke. "Well in that case I'll take five apples and directions to the Adventurer's Guild please." After an exchange of coins and with the barely noticeable weight in my pack and a friendly wave we were on our way, I jerked my head in the direction we should go and spoke to Aqua. "Come on, the Demon King isn't gonna defeat himself."

The Adventurer's Guild was a large, two-storey building made of the same stone as the rest of the town, but the flag bearing its sigil set it apart from the surroundings. That and the raucous noise coming from inside, I would bet gold to copper that there was a tavern in there as well. The sound of breaking crockery made Aqua jump in apprehension but she followed me in all the same. Inside we were greeted by a fair haired woman wearing what was obviously a servant uniform seeing as there were three more identically dressed young women carrying plates of food and mugs of what had to be alcohol. With a quick welcome and instructions to take any available seat if we were hungry or head to the counter for work she pranced off, not spilling a drop from the four foaming steins in her hands.

I took a moment to savour the experience of stepping into a fantasy world when a musclebound man sitting on his own spoke to us with a gruff tone, he was half a head taller than myself not including the mohawk and barechested with heavy armour on his shoulders and forearms. "Hey, you two are new aren't you." Aqua took one look at his stern expression and hid behind me. "And what the hell does that mean?" He pointed at the logo on my chest, maybe I should have turned my shirt inside out.

I placed a hand on the writing and spoke solemnly. "In the forest near my home there were some ruins, researchers came from the capital and claimed that they were from a culture that came before us, this symbol was found etched into the largest building." The lie came easily, I wondered whether charisma was a usable stat in this world and what mine would be. "We were told that the building belonged to a healer's guild and that this was one of their many outposts. It became popular for the townspeople to wear it, something like a homage and source of pride." He placed his drink on the table. "A healer's guild? Never heard of such a thing." He spoke dubiously, I smiled. "Neither had we but it's true, at least according to the scholars." He scoffed and gave us a savage grin. "So you thought you'd come here and become a healer then? Good luck kid, you'll need it." I gave a lopsided grin and moved on. "We'll see."

On the short trek across the hall Aqua tugged on the back of my shirt, I stopped and gave her a questioning look. "How did you come up with that tale so easily?" She asked in a soft voice, I shrugged. "I'm a nerd, I've spent so much time in stories that these things come naturally." She tilted her head in confusion so I continued. "The best lies have a grain of truth to them, this logo does belong to healers and I do respect them so the minor details just fell into place." She nodded, looking half convinced. "But what about charming that old man for directions or knowing about the guild?" First off there was no charming involved, I simply approached as a customer to start a conversation and second, that should have been obvious to anyone but I suppose Gods had other concerns. "Many RPGs - that means Role Playing Games," I clarified at her confused look. "Start the adventurer off in a low level area with simple quests to allow the player to get a feel for the game. And when you don't know what to do in a game the best thing is either consult your mission log, which we don't have, or ask an NPC. That means Non Player Character." And obviously the best person to ask for directions is a local, judging by his age and the fact that his cart was hand drawn the fellow was likely local and had lived here for some time. "Okay, I don't know anything about games so I'll follow your lead." I nodded and began walking away. "Besides, I'd be lying if I said I'd never wished something like this would happen to me."

Behind the counter sat a blonde woman wearing a different uniform to the servers, this one had a white collar and red ribbon around the throat but bared her shoulders and the top of her chest and back, how did that even work? You'd have to keep readjusting it as it gets turned around all day. She introduced herself as Luna and asked if we wanted to register as Adventurers, with our affirmative she stood up and came around the counter to direct us to a contraption consisting of a blue orb the size of a child's head floating amongst several parallel circles of intricate clockwork, under the orb was a series of lenses that resembled some kind of arcane laser array.

For the second time today I was privileged to hear someone's spiel they had already performed a thousand times before. "Adventurers are split into several occupations," She held up a small rectangle half again the size of a credit card. "This is your registration card, it will keep track of the number of quests you have completed, creatures subdued as well as your personal statistics and abilities." So it basically acted as a character screen, I wondered how that much information was held in the card. Magic, obviously. "As your level increases you'll be able to learn skills, if you have any trouble or questions please feel free to ask." I had a few but they could wait, I had no desire to make myself look an idiot by asking questions that should be common knowledge in this world and if I paid attention they would likely be answered soon enough.

"Now then, please place your hand over this crystal and we can begin." I turned to Aqua. "Ladies first?" She looked at me uncertainly but stepped forward and placed her hand gingerly above the device as though she expected it to burn her. The crystal lit up as the metal pieces began to click and turn erratically, a thousand motes of light coming to life inside the orb and began drifting down to the base of the sphere, funneling through the lenses to coalesce into a narrow beam that traced over the card underneath in seemingly random patterns.

"With this we will learn your status, which will be updated as you improve." Luna explained as she retrieved the card and proceeded to give it a once-over. "Please choose your desired class based on WHA-!?" A stunned goldfish possessed her for a moment before she looked at Aqua with an expression of sheer astonishment. "A-aside from Intelligence and Luck all of your stats are far above average." Some of Aqua's confidence began to return at that. "Really? So I'm pretty good then?" Golden eyes were frantically examining Aqua's results. "G-Go- uh, good is an understatement. The mage class requires a high intellect so it's unavailable, but apart from that you could choose anything you want." It had taken Luna a moment but she was beginning to recover her wits and began listing appropriate classes.

The building's inhabitants had been listening in from Luna's first cry but as she continued they made their way over until we were surrounded by a crowd of our soon-to-be guildmates. "Crusader, Swordmaster, Archpriest, nearly any advanced class from the start!" Aqua preened in unabashed pride. "I see. Well, it's a shame there's no Goddess class then." My heart stopped for a moment but thankfully no one commented, assuming it was just empty boasting. "In that case I'll be an Archpriest to heal my underlings."

Luna seemed almost as pleased as Aqua did. "An Archpriest it is, you will be responsible for healing and supporting your teammates yet still powerful enough to fight on the front lines." The crowd burst into cheers, one person offering her a place in their group and I could make out the voice of the fellow we spoke with telling me to get a good class so my 'girlfriend' didn't show me up.

With Aqua taken care of it was my turn, I placed my hand over the gizmo and watched it do its magic. "Oh!" The declaration was softer than what Aqua had received, but enough to pique the interest of our crowd. "Above average across the board." That was a surprise, personally I thought I spent too much time in front of a computer to have an impressive physique. "Your stats are impressive for a beginner but your Intelligence and Agility are exceptional! I would recommend an Archmage or you could become an Assassin." Oh, she meant above average for a beginner, that made more sense. The crowd 'ooh'ed in awe, first an Archpriest and now an Assassin - from two beginners no less.

The choice between two powerful classes was tempting but I had something else in mind. "Are there any swordmage classes?" The congratulatory rabble grew quiet, though our host was quick to recover. "The Crusader class can use some purifying magics, they're especially effective against undead but I'm afraid your Vitality isn't high enough to qualify." She finished apologetically, it would be rather fitting considering I was travelling with a Goddess but having two holy rollers in the party didn't sound too balanced. "Anything else?"

Two of the staff behind Luna gave each other a disbelieving glance. "Perhaps a Swordsman? You could upgrade to Rune Knight later." I hummed noncommittally, the combination of tank and healer may be a classic but as a melee fighter that would mean my support would have to remain within casting distance of me, leaving her open to an enemy ranged attacker. Undeterred by my wordless dismissal she continued.

"The Thief or Archer classes would be effective with your stats." Thief was a useful class, I had always liked a stealthy approach in games but wasn't that just the precursor to Assassin? A stealth archer was always an effective option, just about anyone could do it. "Can the Thief or Assassin classes use a bow?" She grew relieved, finally we were back in familiar territory. "The Assassin can use crossbows, but the Thief is limited to a shortsword or dagger." I assumed the Assassin could dual-wield daggers in melee combat, it would be effective but not really what I wanted from my class.

"What if I wanted to attack with a bow from range using stealth and then close in with magic in one hand and steel in the other, what class would allow that?" The crowd began to speak up at that, several laughing whilst others called me a fool who wanted the best of both worlds. Luna looked at me like I was making some kind of huge mistake. "The only class that would allow that is Adventurer," That was an unassuming title. "The Adventurer can learn skills from any class."

My interest was piqued, I waited for her to continue but she just stood there waiting for my response. I glanced to Aqua but she only crossed her arms and gave me an impatient look, no help there. "So what are the drawbacks?" Her blonde hair bounced as she jerked in surprise, "Oh, um," She glanced back down at the card, obviously this wasn't a commonly taken class. "The beginning requirements are quite low, and the skills will be more expensive than if you had taken a specialist class." I raised an eyebrow, so it was a standard Jack of All Trades class, that didn't sound terrible.

"Well, since I can't be a Spellsword I guess I'll take Adventurer." There was muttered disbelief from the crowd, was it so surprising that an adventurer would have a specific role in mind despite their so-called talents? And it's not even like I was ignoring them, my intelligence would contribute to magic in short and medium range and agility for stealth archery, maybe I could get an all crimson outfit and call myself a Red Mage. Luna's tone grew placating. "Sir, I feel that would be a waste of your stats." I shrugged. "Maybe, but I want to use magic." She opened her mouth to suggest becoming an Archmage again. "And stealth." Regretfully she wrote down my class and handed me the card, mission accomplished. With a brief introduction to our guildmates we were welcomed to the noble pursuit of loot and experience. Well, Aqua was welcomed, I received more of a derisive laugh and a 'good luck, dummy'. I gave her a nudge with my elbow and spoke quietly. "Not even here a day and you're already showing me up."

After the rabble had separated Aqua and I made our way to a table so we could examine our adventurer cards and have a bite to eat, currently we were waiting for the latter. As it turned out the guild hall had a rather varied menu, I had anticipated simpler fare - bread and cheese, roasted meats with grilled or boiled vegetables so this was a pleasant surprise. I had to remind the goddess exactly who was paying for the meal when she tried to order the most expensive thing on the menu.

It was strange, reading a language I had never seen before today as easily as my native tongue. The small, unassuming card in my hand meant so much in this world, I traced my fingers over the lettering thoughtfully. Strength, Vitality, Intelligence, Dexterity, Agility and Luck - all vital requirements for someone who would make their living as an adventurer with Vitality being my weakest. Fair enough, I always was more of a sprinter than a marathoner. No Charisma stat as it turned out, if you wanted to charm someone you had to do it the old fashioned way.

"Hey, show me your card." I looked up to see Aqua giving her adventurer's card a mild glare. "I'll show you mine if you show me yours." She handed her card over without comment and I did the same, it was nearly identical to my own barring the obvious differences but with a stylised profile of a woman's head in some priestly garb compared to my own unadorned profile picture - they could at least make them look like us.

Luna wasn't lying, her stats were higher than mine with the exception of Intelligence, Dexterity - hers was a miserable three points, was it possible for a God to be that unco-ordinated? That was a scary thought. And third came Luck, it turned out I wasn't just an optimist after all but in contrast Aqua's Luck was a solid One. That's the kind of luck that lets a person trip on a flat surface and break their neck. My agility seemed pretty good, maybe I should have taken up parkour. Aqua's Intelligence though was disconcerting - only a few points above minimum, if intellect directly translated to magic power then how effective a caster would she be? ...In fact, of the six basic stats only her Strength, Vitality and Agility were higher than mine, maybe part of her being sent here meant her divine power had to be sealed away? I imagine if the Demon King caught a whiff of a Goddess disrupting his plans he'd send an entire army to wipe them out. Still, the resulting values - HP/MP, Attack Power, Magic Power, Defense etc. were significantly higher than my own, perhaps she really was of a different flesh. "Why is your intelligence so high?" So that was what she was upset about. "Modern education, probably." I made sure to make my voice dismissively nonchalant but her pout only grew more pronounced so I decided a distraction was in order.

"Why did you say Goddess earlier?" She looked at me as though I had asked her what colour the sky was. "Because I am one of course." She said as she flicked her hair in a pompous manner. "Not here you're not." Her eyes narrowed in indignation, the ire of a God was something to avoid on a good day so I spoke before she could get started. "We're here to fight the Demon King," I set my voice low and rested my elbows on the table so I could hide my mouth behind my hands. "We're both level one, what do you think will happen to us if people find out where we're from?" I continued on before she could answer. "They'll either think we're crazy, try us for heresy or drag us off to use in some political power game. Is that what you want?" She appeared to be starting to come around to my way of thinking when her train of though was broken.

"Roast beef with gravy and vegetables and onion soup with salad and bread." We were interrupted by lunch's arrival, it was a different server this time, an auburn haired woman with green eyes I hadn't seen yet, she must have been in the kitchen when we entered. "Ah, thank you." She placed the plate in front of me with a light thud, it was a fair bit larger than the meals I was used to, the soup went to Aqua and bread in the centre. A jug of mulled wine and two goblets were placed down last. "If there's anything else you need, please let me know." With a wink and a smile she was gone, cute enough but I had more important things in mind, including my already lighter coin pouch - if we intended to survive long we needed paying work. Aqua had already begun pouring herself a drink so I held out my goblet only to watch as she put the jug down on her side of the table and quaffed half her drink in one breath, a sarcastic comment was swallowed as I poured one myself.

I raised my goblet across the table, "To new beginnings." Aqua looked up from her soup and slurped down the contents of the spoon before tapping her goblet against mine. "To going home." Well, we're off to a good start.