Flashback

My life is over, and trust me I don't use it in the same context a teenage girl might when she sends an embarrassing text to her crush, I mean I just entered the building I will take my last breath. My head is hung low, I am completely terrified for what will happen next. The guards on either side of me hold my arms too tight. I can already tell they are going to leave a bruise; as if I could escape, my hands are cuffed behind my back and I have a beefy man on either side of me literally dragging me inside.

The first day in prison is always the worst, especially in a super max. The old timers in here like to make sure you know who runs things around here, they love crushing your spirit. The worst part is everyone already knows your rap sheet and when I'm walking into a prison full of murderers and serial rapists and I'm here for hacking, I might as well have big target painted on my back. The first day it's likely that top dog and her followers will beat the crap out of you, make sure you know what will happen if you ever step out of line. Walking in on your fist day for a second time is even worse.

I hung my head low hair covering my features, I don't want to make eye contact with anyone. Walking down the endless halls takes what feels like hours, the bland walls all the same off grey, flickering lights; almost seems to drain any hopes I might have of ever experiencing the outside world again.

Settling into your room is easy, just throw your stuff down and break down in tears mourning your lost life. Lunch is the hardest. All inmates forced to go outside in a small concrete courtyard and socialize, this is when the beating will happen. I keep my head low, I can't breathe I know what's going to happen I keep walking, I must close my eyes for a second, clenching and unclenching my fists keeping my breathing even. I keep walking until I unknowingly walk straight into a large person.

"oh, uh sorry I was just- "shit. I just ran straight into Red. She's a large beefy woman who is currently serving her 11th year of a life sentence for strangling her abusive husband to death with her bare hands, then she did the same thing to her neighbor who witnessed the whole thing. I'm I dead woman.

"sorry I didn't mean to" I stumble over my words, usually I'm good at hiding my fear but I can't control myself this time my body is shaking and all my weaknesses are clear. Slowly Red turned around and without a word her fist connected with my cheek, and that's how it all began.

"I need to know exactly what information you leaked"

Back to business I guess. I look down at my hands, my wrists are red and sore my fingertips calloused from years of typing. Distracting myself won't make this any easier, I don't know how to tell the without risking their life. I don't know who I can trust.

"I just want to know why, what happened to make you throw everything away"

Jack looks so sincere, I don't know how to tell them I didn't want to do it, I would never have thrown away the family I always wanted. I can feel the tears threatening to fall. How can I tell them I threw my own life away to save theirs? How can I tell them I'm not sorry I did it? They are smart people, if I give them some clues to what really happened maybe they can put away the person that ruined everything. I just don't want to put their lives in danger because I want out of prison.

"who's on the other side?"

"no one it's just us"

In the back of my mind I know that Mac might be lying, just trying to make me talk; but if there really is someone there that could pass on the information I'm about to say I need to know.

"Jack", I say it so quietly I could barely hear myself speak,

"Ri, we can alone"

The old nickname makes my heart flutter, I truly never thought I would hear that name used in such a loving way ever again. I take a deep breath and try to slow my heart beat, I must do this, they should know that someone they trust is working against them. I flip my hair back and lean forward, readying myself for the bombshell I'm about to drop on them. Both their faces drop and they look both angry and pitiful, I had completely forgotten about the bruising shaped as hands around my neck.

Jack reaches out and moves some more hair out the way "what happened to you?" Quickly I pull back from his touch. "who did this?" this time its Mac speaking and he looks furious, he's clenching his knuckles so tight they're going white. The tears start again and this time I'm not strong enough to hold them back, a rouge tear runs down my cheek.

"the first day in prison is the hardest" Mac nods knowingly "but it's even worse when you're doing your first day a second time, the inmates want to make sure you remember who's boss". I don't want to talk about this anymore. Mac senses this and he thankfully changes the subject.

"we still need to know what information you leaked, Riley"

"I didn't leak any"

Mac and Jack share a quick glance of confusion before Jack speaks again,

"then what did you do with it"

I might as well tell the truth "it was sold."

Again, this response gets a look of confusion from both Mac and Jack,

"we didn't find any money in your account, or any accounts linked to you"

"that's because I'm not the one who sold it" I need to be careful, if I let on too much information there could be terrible consequences. They want more information, they want more answers that I can't give.

"if you didn't get anything out of it, then why did you do it?"

I take a deep breath before giving them a clue I really hope they understand, "sometimes you love someone so much that you would throw your own life away, and sometimes the people you think you can trust the most betray you in the worst way. Please keep this to yourself"

They both look completely dumbfounded, confused and a little angry, mostly with themselves.

"Ri, you gotta tell us what- "

I cut Jack off before he can even finish his sentence "Guard! I'd like to return to my cell!"

I can't tell them anything more than what I already have, I look away from them both, doing my best to ignore the looks they are giving me. Slowly the guard walks in and roughly grabs my shoulder shoving me to my feet, I wince when he puts pressure on my many bruises.

"Oi, be careful with her okay!" Jack stands up, I give him a little smile before the guard leads me out the room. I hope they understand and I really hope I see them again.