A/N: (By the way, I replaced that long author's note with this chapter since I didn't want it to severely mess up the word count). Well, I certainly wasn't expecting so many people to care about what I was going through. I mean, twelve people gave long reviews on how much they actually cared in just a few days, which to me means quite a lot. I was expecting people to be angry with me, but instead, I got so much sympathy, I couldn't help but feel overwhelmed with happiness. Thank you so much guys! I know you guys aren't going to be able to see this, but have a hand heart anyways, (apparently, I can't make the symbol for a heart on this site. Oh well).

So yeah, because of the fact that I feel a little better now, because of you guys, I was able to finish typing up this chapter. In fact, you guys deserve daily updates, but I'm too lazy and busy for that, so sorry.

Also, I was thinking about writing weekly one-shots. Not sure how well that is going to go over, but it's just and idea that I might go through with. I might just end up doing two a month instead, or something.

Oh, and to the guest who wanted to know what books I read, I'll just have you know that I'll read almost anything. The genre I read the most is YA. I know people tell me that I should avoid this genre, but I can't help it. Some of my favorite books is Harry Potter (in case you guys are wondering, I'm a Ravenclaw), Warriors, and the list could do on, but I think the list of books I hate would be a lot easier to share. Which I won't share because I don't want to offend anyone.

Anyways, on to the story now.

Unfortunately for Ivan, he wasn't necessarily able to say that the rest of his first week of college had gone too well for him. Sure, he had no problem keeping up with his homework and what not, but there was still one major problem he had with one of his classes. He'd been stuck doing a project which required him to work with two other people. At first, he'd been a bit apprehensive about this, as he was not one who enjoyed working with other people; let alone talking to them (even if he did feel lonely at times, speaking to other people was quite nerve racking). Despite his nervousness, he was sure that because everyone around him was now an adult that they would be less judgmental towards him. He wasn't going to lie, for the most part, everyone he came across seemed to be more friendly than the people he had met in high school. Yet there was one person in particular that was not any different from a bully that someone might have met during high school. That said person happened to be one of his group mates.

What made this situation even worse for Ivan was the fact that his group mate actually appeared to be quite friendly at first. However, this deceptive facade quickly vanished when they started working on their project. It appeared that the poor Russian was unable to meet this guy's standards, as every five minutes, he would hear a comment about how he was not doing something right, how he should've paid more attention, or how it was his fault that they were going to be receiving a terrible grade. Sure, perhaps the first two comments wouldn't have disturbed him at all, if it wasn't for the fact that a large strand of insults followed afterwards. Ivan wanted to so desperately believe that this guy was full of it; that he was just being immature and hypocritical, but he couldn't with the expression the man had on his face. His group mate seemed to have an expression of slight worry upon his countenance, mixed with irritation, and the Russian knew that if this guy was just insulting him for the sake of insulting him, he would've had a smirk upon his face rather than that of an expression of severe disapproval. It was the same expression his father would wear every time he'd done something 'wrong' or did something 'disgraceful'.

Despite the scenario turning out so horrible for Ivan, he couldn't help but appreciate the seemingly shy girl who was his other group mate. She hardly ever spoke during the project, and did everything the guy had told her to do; despite looking miserable during that class period. He figured that her obedience was probably the reason why his other group mate had not insulted her. The guy did seem to be a control freak.

Perhaps many people would've been angry with the girl for not standing up against the guy for constantly harassing Ivan. After all, they did say that bystanders had a lot of power. As much as he would've appreciated having someone stand up for him, he couldn't really blame her for not doing so. Even if he thought he hadn't deserved to be torn apart, he simply would not expect someone to do something so brave for him. For one, personal experience had told him that most people were probably either going to be too scared to stand up for him, or wouldn't care in the slightest if he was being treated like the scum of the Earth. Besides, he himself was not a brave individual either, and he'd been responsible for minding his own business when he saw someone being mistreated. He wasn't proud of this, and he definitely wasn't about to call anyone out for being a coward when he himself had been one quite a few times. However, despite the fact that the girl seemed to be extremely shy, he had no idea if she actually did care for what had been happening to him. Sure, she didn't seem to enjoy being around the controlling group mate anymore than he did, but Ivan had no idea whether or not the glances she would pass him were those of sympathy. It seemed to be so, but having a lack of trust for other humans, he still held his suspicions.

Ivan strode across the campus as he continued to think about the insults that had been mercilessly flung at him; dreading the numbness that had become the result of the verbal abuse. Once more, as he passed by the enthusiastic individuals who surrounded him with their gleeful chatter, they seemed to have been completely ignorant to the misery that radiated from his demeanor. The depressed Russian, as always, had no idea whether to feel relieved or lonely because of this.

Before arriving at the dorm, Ivan tried to come up with something to help cheer himself up before meeting with his room mate. If there was one thing he did not want to deal with, it was a concerned Alfred. He'd already worried his poor room mate quite a bit during the first few days they'd known each other, and he was ashamed of that. All he wanted was for his room mate to believe that everything was alright, and that there was never a problem with him to begin with.

Then, he came up with the perfect thought to hide the fact that he was completely devastated with his life at that moment. He realized that Alfred had not questioned his eating habits since Monday, and since showed no signs of feeling concerned. In fact, Alfred seemed to have showed some approval towards what Ivan had decided to eat after the lunch incident. The Russian knew that he would not be able to get away with eating too little around his room mate, so he'd come up with ways to make it look as if he was eating enough, but still consuming a small amount of calories. For breakfast, he would have a small bowl of fiber dense cereal with low-fat milk and an apple. For lunch; a salad with a variety of vegetables and some chicken and vinegar based salad dressing. At first, he'd been reluctant about eating this salad, but he was surprised to find that the chicken tasted excellent with the vinegar based salad dressing. He was aware of the fact that the meal contained a bit more fat that he would've wanted to consume, but he knew that things could've been worse, and at least his room mate was happy with the salad he ate. Lastly, there was dinner, which was much less predictable than lunch and breakfast. Ivan would just try to scrape together anything he thought would not contain too many calories and called it good.

Remembering the fact that Alfred had not grown suspicious of his eating habits during the rest of the week made him feel a bit better. Even though the meals still didn't seem to be enough to satisfy Ivan's hunger throughout the day, as he still hadn't accustomed to eating so little. Besides, the comforting fact still wasn't enough to make him forget about what his group mate had said. Since it didn't seem as if he was going to be over it any time soon, and didn't want to worry his room mate either by not showing up until he finally felt better (which would probably take a while), he decided that it would be best to just pretend that he was fine, and enter his dorm anyways.

Luckily for him, Alfred didn't seem to notice a thing when Ivan walked into the room. Sometimes, the American could be quite oblivious to what was going on around him, which was something that he could appreciate. All Alfred did as soon as he noticed the Russian enter the room was greet him and returned to whatever he was doing. The indifference that his room mate had clearly felt when he entered the room may have offended him at any other time, but Ivan was happy for the lack of interest Alfred held for him at that moment. It would mean that the American was probably not even going to notice him sulking.

Since that seemed to be the case, Ivan decided that it would be safe for him to curl up in his bed, and urge himself to cry. He knew that this was something that his father had forbidden him to do, and that weeping was also something the rest of the world seemed to really have something against, but he'd been holding in the tears for so long. He was growing sick of holding it all in just to satisfy the world's ridiculous standards. Even if it was shamed, he knew that for him, sometimes taking some time out of his day to cry about something was the only way he could forget about it and feel better. It wouldn't be for hours either; just fifteen minutes would do. Then he could focus of finishing up his homework, exercise, and in the long run, end up being in a much better mood than he would've if he had decided to keep it all in.

Ivan curled up under his covers, just to make sure that while he was crying, he would have some warmth in case he began to feel cold due to all of the stress and how drained he was going to end up feeling. Then, he wrapped his arms around his face and started thinking about all of the horrible things that were said to him until tears finally emerged from his eyes. It had taken quite the effort to get himself to start, but once he began crying, he found that it was definitely going to be difficult for him to stop.

At first, Ivan had thought that there would be no way that his room mate would notice that something was wrong. Alfred had seemed so focused on his phone, and the Russian had made sure that he was facing the wall and somewhat hidden under his covers so that it would appear that he was simply trying to hide from the sunlight while attempting to go to sleep. Besides, he'd made sure that his sobs were silent, which was something he'd made sure to become an expert at. He could never risk having anyone hear him when he cried at night. The punishment for that would be much more dire if he was caught crying 'for no reason' than it would be if he starting breaking down during a beating. Once his father had come so close to gouging out his eyes and mutilating his eye sockets; claiming that if he did this, Ivan would have a much harder time crying about everything. At first, no one in the house hold had taken him seriously. They'd just thought that this was another empty threat. That was until his father brought out a pocket knife and started bringing it towards Ivan's face. He was surprised to find that he was able to react just in time to start attempting to push his father's arms away. If he hadn't reacted so quickly, he would've been missing at least one of his eyes. Of course, the rebellious act had only encourage his father to try harder to poke one of his eyes out. In case his father was able to completely over power him, Ivan kept his eyes shut tightly and his head turned away as a last resort for protection.

The only thing that stopped his father that time was when his sisters started pulling him away from Ivan. It was the first time he'd ever seen his sisters use physical force against his father to keep him from being harmed. Fortunately, his father eventually gave up on trying to remove his eyeballs, but he did yell at his sisters afterwards. He didn't try to physically harm them, or even threaten them, though, which Ivan was grateful for. His father never did so much as threaten to physically harm his sisters, but he certainly had something against him. Apparently, it was all his fault that his mother ended up dying, because she would constantly starve herself just to make sure that he was fed. His father had told him that because of this, he himself should starve to death because he was selfish enough to let his mother do so as he 'stole' all of her food. At the time, he was too young to understand what his mother was doing. Sure, he was worried, since he'd almost never seen her eat, and he would ask her to do so at times, but she would always told him not to worry, and that she was still eating; just not when he was awake. Ivan didn't question her further every time she told him that. Although, at the time, he had found it strange that she started eating again at some point. When he was still really young, he had not understood why, but now he knew. She was only eating because she was pregnant, and wanted to be able to make sure that his younger sister survived.

After his younger sister was born, though, it seemed as if his mother was having a lot of trouble feeding not only herself so that she could feed her baby, but also Ivan and his older sister. Having a baby had already put enough strain on her body, but she'd also tired herself out trying to find as much food as she possibly could. By the time his younger sister was two years old, his mother passed away. He remembered his mother looking extremely thin during the last moments of her life, and the harsh life didn't seem to do her so well appearance wise, as she looked ten years older than she really was. Despite this, Ivan would always remember her as looking beautiful. He felt responsible for her death, and sometimes couldn't blame his father for hating him. If he'd only just been more skeptical about what his mother had told him when he was a young kid, he figured that there was a chance that she would've lived.

Thinking about all of these horrible memories only made him feel a hundred times worse (which was an understatement for sure). In fact, he was so upset at that moment that he wanted to start tearing pieces of his own flesh off of his arms. It wasn't as if he'd expected himself to start thinking about some other negative things that had happened in his life, though this didn't surprise him much either. He would often forget that once he started crying, not only would it take him a while to stop, but the reason why this was the case was because once he was upset, he would often become lost in horrible memories. Still, he thought that crying would help.

Despite his attempt to try and hide his distress, however, it didn't seem as if Alfred was going to stay ignorant forever, as soon he heard his room mate ask, "Ivan, what's wrong?"

Before responding, Ivan made sure that he started breathing deeply, and tried to control his sobs as best as he could so that his voice would not waver. Then, after a moment of attempting to regain his composure, he answered, "I'm fine."

Almost as soon as the words had left his mouth, he heard the violent rustling of sheets; a sign that Alfred was sliding out of his bed and standing up with a lot of haste. While he crawled out of bed and strode towards Ivan, he declared, "Don't bother lying to me. I know you're not fine."

Ivan nearly panicked at the sudden determination his room mate had. In fact, once Alfred was right next to his bed, he sat up so that he could sit against the wall, but still kept his face hidden as he retorted, "I'm not lying. There's nothing wrong with me. Now leave!"

"I'm not leaving until you tell me what's wrong," Alfred shot back, then added in a softer tone, "I'm sorry if this seems intrusive, but I just want to know what's upsetting you. Maybe I can help. Did someone hurt you? Is that why you're upset?"

"Nyet, it's nothing. Really. It doesn't even matter..."

"It does matter if it's making you this upset. Please, you can tell me. I'm not going to judge you. Besides, if you vent, you might end up feeling a little better."

"Fredka, I don't want to talk about it!"

There was a moment of silence, as Alfred had no idea how to respond to the outburst. Then, he began to feel a bit guilty for having demanded that Ivan shared what was making him upset. The poor Russian didn't deserve to be harassed about it. Especially if he already had hinted out that he didn't want to share what had happened. When Alfred finally spoke, he made sure to not seem so pushy this time, "I'm sorry, you don't have to tell me if you don't want to."

Then, before Ivan had any time to react, he was pulled into a hug. At first, he didn't know how to respond to this, but eventually, he decided that he didn't even want to leave the embrace. Instead, he eventually found himself crying into his room mate's shoulder as he wrapped his arms around the comforting warmth that was Alfred. His room mate remained patient as he continued to let out all of his stress; even when he became so emotionally distressed, yet trusting in Alfred's presence, and began to vent, "I'm just so sick of feeling so stupid all of the time!"

"You're not stupid, Ivan," Alfred replied in the most soothing voice the Russian had ever heard, "You're probably the smartest person I know, when it comes to math, and that's a really hard skill for a lot of people to be good at. Who ever made you feel stupid is a moron. Don't listen to them."

"But you've called me stupid before, and you're not a moron."

"Actually, Ivan, I was being a moron when I called you stupid."

Based on the fact that Ivan didn't even bother to respond, Alfred could tell that he wasn't at all convinced, but continued to persuade him despite how hopeless changing the Russian's mind already seemed to be anyways, "Look, I lost my temper over something really stupid when I started giving you a hard time that day. There was nothing you did to deserve that, and I had no right, morally, to insult you. Besides, now that I know how good you seem to be at math and school work and what not, it wouldn't even make any sense for me to call you stupid, which is why I know it's not going to happen again. Clearly, you aren't lacking intelligence if you don't have a hard time with your school work. I realize that this is a hard thing for some people to do, but if someone's giving you a hard time, you need to start ignoring them. Especially if that person doesn't matter to you to begin with."

"It's not that easy, though. I had to work with a guy who wouldn't stop giving me a hard time about everything. He wanted everything to be done his way, and he would get angry with me if I didn't agree with him. I know this is a stupid thing to get upset about, but it just gets so emotionally draining after a while."

"It wasn't something stupid to get upset about. I can already tell by how you described this guy that he's a total nightmare, and he's probably a lot worse than what I already know about him. Sounds to me like this guy's a control freak, and kind of immature, to be honest. It would be best to start avoiding him. Nobody needs someone like that in their life."

"I can't. I still have to finish the project with him. It's due next Friday."

"Well, I guess you're just going to have to put up with his crap for another week. Sorry about that. But don't worry, maybe if you keep in mind that he's never going to be worth as much as you, and that he's never going to have a lasting relationship like you, you might end up feeling a little better about this."

The fact that Alfred was giving him this advice only made Ivan want to cry even harder. It wasn't as if he had a father or mother figure to tell him how to handle certain situations in life when he so clearly needed it, or someone to comfort him when he was in desperate need of consoling. Really, he sometimes found it surprising that he wasn't emotionless and actually cared to do something with his life with how neglectful and hateful his father had been towards him. The lack of positive communication did, however, leave him feeling as if he didn't even know how to function in the world, or what was going to be thrown at him. He could tell, though, even with his lack of experience, that Alfred had had loving parents that made sure he was ready for the world. In a way, if made Ivan feel envious, but at the same time, he was grateful for the fact that his room mate cared enough to share what wisdom his parents had provided to him. The Russian didn't even know any adults who would be willing to do this for other grown ups. He thought that everyone was expected to function perfectly in the world around them once they were no longer a teenager. Though the example as to why this wasn't the case was small, he could already tell that this assumption was probably wrong. Alfred wasn't expecting him to be perfect, and not be affected by anything life had to through at him. He was being patient and giving him advice.

By the time Ivan was finally finished draining all of his emotional pain into Alfred's shoulder, the two college students lingered in the embrace as a delightful silence filled the room. While Alfred was still stroking his room mate's soft, light ashen blonde hair, he finally decided to ask once he figured that he was satisfied by the long, calming silence, "You want to go for a walk now? It's very beautiful outside today, and I don't know how much longer we're going to have this nice weather until it starts getting cold out. So we might as well enjoy it while we can."

Since Ivan would never reject an offer for some exercise due to his weight loss plan, he didn't even have to spend one minute to think about his response, "Okay."

With that said, the two of them quickly prepared for the outdoors before heading outside. Despite the fact that it was still late in the afternoon, Ivan couldn't help but feel relieved as a gentle summer breeze brushed past him. The heat wasn't much of a problem either. The only thing that he could think to complain about was how bright it was outside (he kept of forgetting to buy a pair of sunglasses, unfortunately). When it came to the pigmentation of purple eyes, he had no idea whether or not they were supposed to have less than other eye colors, but to him, this seemed to be so. The sun always disturbed his eyes, and meanwhile, Alfred with his blue eyes seemed to be having no problem looking around outside. He didn't even squint when they first stepped outside. Even if he didn't exactly enjoy the fact that he had purple eyes at times, as they had surprisingly done him more harm than good, he sort of wish that he knew more about them. Unfortunately, he knew that this was just another desire that could never be satisfied, as almost nobody in the world believed that purple eyes existed.

They'd only been walking around for what seemed to Ivan to be a half an hour before Alfred finally stated, "I'm starting to get really hungry. Do you want to go get some ice cream?"

"You can go ahead and have some," Ivan replied, "I'm not very hungry."

"Well, okay."

Almost as if Alfred seemed to have naturally known where the nearest ice cream shop was, Ivan found that they were inside of one in almost no time. Though the sweet smell may have tempted him, he had gained some self control over the past few days of successfully limiting his food intake, but was only just able to resist the delicious aroma and find a table to sit down at as he waited for Alfred to buy some ice cream and sit down with him.

Once Alfred had finally sat down with Ivan (there was a long line at the time), the Russian couldn't help but suddenly feel drowsy. He didn't understand why he felt so tired, but at the same time, he didn't really care. It wasn't the type of exhaustion where one felt as if they were being strained or stressed. Rather, it was the type of pleasant drowsiness that left someone feeling dreamy. As if the slightest touch of warmth could allow them to be embraced by blissful sleep. After all of the stress Ivan had went through that week, a long, dreamless slumber seemed to be the best luxury one could ask for. He almost felt as if wanting that was asking for two much, but he could tell that with how he felt, it wouldn't be hard to obtain at that moment.

As Alfred continued to silently lick his ice cream, he couldn't help but observe the Russian as he silently looked at his surroundings. Though soon, he noticed, that Ivan seemed to be growing sleepy. After a while of staring at his room mate, he struggled to keep his own urge to yawn when he saw the light haired individual in front of him do the same. Alfred knew this was strange, but he couldn't help but be somewhat enchanted by the yawn. Unlike most people, Ivan didn't look like a complete idiot when he yawned. On the contrary, it was actually rather cute. Possibly the most adorable thing he'd seen all day. He was nearly mute while he yawned as well, which only made the scene all the more cute.

A warmth suddenly grew in Alfred's stomach. Though he tried to keep some of the adoration out of his voice when he spoke, as he didn't want it to sound as if he was talking to a puppy, "Are you tired?"

Ivan nodded his head, "Yes."

"Then why don't we head back to our room?"

As soon as Alfred stood up, Ivan followed suit. It wasn't too much trouble for the two of them to find their way back to the campus in which their dorm room was, as the American seemed to have remembered the way back from the ice cream shop (Ivan mentally applauded his navigation skills). When they arrived to their dorm room, the Russian quickly brushed his teeth before, once more, curling up in his bed. In minutes, he was sound asleep.

Alfred grabbed his math homework, hoping that he would be able to get it done in a reasonable time, and that his sudden obsession for his room mate would die down (he couldn't already find his room mate attractive, that would probably creep the poor Russian out). He knew that he had a tendency to obtain crushes very quickly, thus why he was very skilled at noticing them almost immediately. It wasn't something that Alfred was proud of, but it was also something that his young self simply couldn't help. He figured that, hopefully, the crush would disappear soon and that he wouldn't have to worry about it any longer. Crushes didn't mean anything; it was Ivan's looks he was attracted to, if he'd only started becoming obsessed with him in one week, and to him, that wasn't love. Sure, he cared for how his room mate felt and what not, but he wasn't fond of the fact that he already had feelings for him. Still, despite the slight shame he felt, Alfred could help but sometimes glance at Ivan's sleeping form. Sleep seemed to be another thing that the Russian was able to pull off easily. He looked absolutely perfect while he did so, and the fact that he was holding onto a clump of his blanket was plain adorable, and unique. Alfred had never seen anyone sleep like this before.

For an entire hour, Alfred was finding it difficult to complete his math homework. Though this time, he knew it wasn't because he was horrible at math.