Echos

The sound of her feet on the metal floor rattled her. It took her breath away to hear that familiar sound. She paused after taking one step into the ship, breathing in the familiar smell. It wasn't necessarily a pleasant smell, oil and grime and Wookie fur didn't really make for a great mix- but it was good nonetheless.

There was something about the Millennium Falcon. There was just something about the huge hunk of junk that she couldn't really understand. Maybe that was why Han loved it so much. The old thing- she really was beautiful in her own way.

Leia reached out and gently pressed her hand to the cold wall. She was almost tempted to go start up the ship so that she could feel the thrumming of the engine beneath her again. She hadn't been aboard the ship in probably close to decade, not since before Han had left. A few years after Han has left, when she'd heard he lost the ship, she had been devastated. Not only for Han who she knew must have been a mess, but for last part of their family that seemed to remain. The Falcon was such an integral part in their family and losing it seemed to be too much.

It had served as her home after hers was blown to dust all those years ago. Even before she and Han were together, she had spent many days inside the ship. Back on Hoth, during those many times where it was just too much to keep up their game of pretending to hate one another, she was able to sneak away from base every once and a while and take refuge aboard. It was where she was the warmest. It was a place where she wasn't a princess or anything other than just Leia. She was a just a girl playing games with her friends and she couldn't ever remember a time in her life where that had been the case. Sometimes she accompanied Han and Chewie on supply runs, but it was mostly just sitting around and relaxing. Sometimes Luke joined them, but it usually ended up being her and Han. They took their dinner back to the ship and sat around playing cards, wagering treats but sometimes money. They flirted over games, snacks, and beer until she inevitably had to get back to reality and do some work; then they resumed their usual arguments and petty remarks through the icy hallways.

Somehow the ship ended up being where she was the most comfortable. As time went by, the ship became less of a fun refuge and more of her home. In the midst of war, after her own home being destroyed, the Falcon is where she went to rest. It was where she went to decompress, where she felt she could be herself.

After the war ended, she and Han settled into their own apartment but it was still the Falcon where she got the best night's sleep. She loved those days where she could get away from work and fly off somewhere with Han just to get away, to surround herself with the feel of his beloved ship. It almost felt like no one could ever touch them, like they were safe aboard the ship that has so narrowly avoided destruction more times than she could count.

Some of the greatest moments of her life took place aboard the Falcon, memories that she would close to her heart for as long as she lived.

Leia took a couple more steps inside. She paused for just a moment, unsure of where she wanted to go. The thought of walking into a Han-less cockpit made her stomach flip so she turned rather quickly, walking into what had been their quarters.

She and Han shared their first kiss within the metal walls. The first time, deep in the blackness of space as they traveled to Bespin. She had been working, keeping herself busy with little repairs. He had come up behind her, stepped into her space. She couldn't say invaded because they would imply that he wasn't welcome and that just wasn't the case. He teased her and then took her breath away, the same song and dance they'd done since they met but that time it was different. Different because the moment she wrapped her arms around him, when he touched her face...their lives were changed forever.

Their relationship took off after that, the first few weeks as a couple spent repairing the falcon and stealing kisses behind a disgusted Wookie's back. They made love for the first time in their- used to be just Han's- old quarters. He was gentle, patient with her lack of knowledge and teaching her the things that she'd only read about or heard in whispers throughout the girls' locker room on base. Nights spent curled up in the small, threadbare bunk were some of the happiest moments she had had in a while. Their feelings escalated quickly, falling deeply and irrevocably in love in only a matter of weeks. A part of her used blamed the war for how quickly she allowed herself to fall in love with him; she blamed the war or simply the fact that the two of them had never done anything correctly when it came to handling each other. They were always intense, always so full of emotion that it spilled out of them in hateful words in the beginning. Of course, she had been all wrong. It had been all him. All smiles and sweet remarks, lingering gazes that made her heart beat just a little faster.

Leia sat down on the bed. It was a new one, not the one that they had purchased for the room after they got married. Whoever had stolen the ship must have taken it and sold it. Her hand moved to her chest, trembling fingers tangling in the material of her shirt as the wave of anguish moved through her. She had felt it when he died, had felt the moment his life left his body. He grew weaker and weaker until it was nothing as their son grew darker and more powerful. Their son...the little boy she'd sent away with Luke for training in hopes of avoiding a tragedy like this...he had killed his father.

Tears fell from her eyes as she exhaled shakily, trying to force the memories from her mind for just a moment. She could still hear the echos of her three year old son's small voice as he ran through the halls of the Falcon, shrieking with laughter has he ran from his parents to escape bath time.

A small sob escaped as his voice moved through her, as the memory of their little boy took her over. The little boy that she'd loved so much since the very second she felt him growing inside of her. Han had loved him too. So very much. He'd been elated with the news that she had been so nervous to tell him. They'd never spoken of children, had never expressed any interest in bringing their own into the world. She was so worried about what he would say that the feeling of his arms enveloping her and her feet lifting off the ground had surprised her. He'd laughed, kissed her, and told her how much he loved her- loved both of them.

The little boy that she had spent hours in labor with, that she fell in love with all over again upon seeing his face had turned to the Dark side. Ben used to sleep soundly on his father's chest. He had been soothed by the sound of his father's heartbeat, the steadiness of his breathing. That little boy that Leia accused Han of spoiling too much by allowing him to sleep against him and never making him sleep in his own bed, murdered his own father.

She shook her head, look tendrils of hair falling from her braid. Wiping at her eyes, she stood, ignoring the ache in her knees that couldn't even compare to the pain in her chest. She pushed the thought of her Ben from her mind, at least for the time being. She would get him back. They would find Luke and she would save their baby from Kylo Ren and Snoke.

She made her way out of their quarters and down the corridor, past the place where Han had proposed to her and Ben had taken his first steps. She walked past the wall she grabbed onto tightly when her water broke and stepped inside the cockpit.

The sight of the empty pilot's chair took her breath away, made the vice grip on her heart tighten. Gone was their feeling of wonder she'd felt as a nineteen year old. She'd been inside hundreds of ships, stood in just as many cockpits...but there was something about watching Han Solo fly the Millennium Falcon that was just...magical.

She ran her hand along the top of the chair like she had a million times, whether to lean over and kiss his cheek or gripping it tightly because of some idiotic thing he'd just done to impress her. He would tease her, say whatever unnecessary turn or flip was done because he knew how much his piloting skills turned her on. She'd usually roll her eyes even though he wasn't wrong.

Her eyes wandered, moved along the buttons and switches that Han had known like the back of his hand. Buttons and switches that she'd grown to know too. She knew just how hard to push a particular button, how gentle she had to be with certain switches. Han had taught her where exactly on the wall she needed to pound her fist against to "get the old girl going again".

The sight outside the window drew a sigh from her. She needed to go. There was a war going on and they needed their general.

She ran her hand along the chair again. "I love you." Leia murmured as she left the cockpit.

She walked toward the ramp and past the spot where Han had told her he was leaving. As she stepped over the spot they'd shared their last kiss, she could have sworn she heard his voice echoing.

"I know."