Yup, I'm back again with yet another Bob's Burgers fanfiction that I may or may not finish XD. I'm gonna try to though. Even though I still need to work on Moving Parts. XD as the title may imply, the Belcher kids are teenagers in this story, so they're going to do teenager things. they're going to swear (mostly on Louise's part). they're going to talk about sex (but they're not going to actually do it, don't worry). and they're probably going to be doing some illegal underage drinking (which is not something I condone, so if I do include it it will be for plot purposes only). so just beware of all that XD. I hope you enjoy this story!

Louise Belcher awoke to the sound of distant groaning. Groggily, she slowly opened her eyes and stared the alarm clock. 6:00 am. What the fuck. She didn't have to get up until 7:00. She tried holding the pillow over her ears to muffle the sound, but she could still hear it. She knew exactly who it was making that noise; after all, there was only one person who groaned like that-Tina.

"Ugh, what the fuck is she doing up so early?" Grumbling, the foul-mouthed fourteen-year-old stumbled out of bed and made her way to her sister's room. The light was already on, and Louise found Tina hunched over at her desk, still groaning.

"Tina, what the hell?" Louise simply said. Tina jumped and swiveled her rolly-chair around to face Louise, sending some papers flying around in the process.

"Ahh! Oh, Louise, uhh, good morning," Tina sheepishly greeted.

"No, not good morning, I got woken up an hour earlier than I needed to because of your groaning! The hell is your problem, anyway?" She took a few steps closer to Tina, who simply started groaning again in response.

"Tina, stop it already!" Louise scolded.

"I'm trying to finish this scholarship essay and it's due today at 3:00 but I'm nowhere near finished so I thought I'd get up early to finish it but I have no idea what to write and now I'm never gonna get it done and I'm never gonna get into college what am I gonna do?!" Tina rambled out a long, panicked response, then took a deep breath and slammed her head against the desk, groaning some more.

"Well that sucks," Louise deadpanned. "Could you try to worry about college a little more quietly? I wanna try to get another hour of sleep."

"Okay," Tina moaned. Louise shook her head and went back in to the comforting seclusion of her own room, snuggling back up under the covers.

When her alarm clock screeched at her an hour later, she reached her arm out from a heap of blankets and angrily slammed it. She never liked getting up for school anyway. And since Tina and Gene were in high school and Louise was stuck at Wagstaff by herself, she hated it even more. She hated not being able to pick on her siblings in the hallways. The time she spent at home with them just wasn't enough for her mischievious heart. Oh well, at least now she had a girlfriend to hang out with.

Louise flung herself out of bed and trekked over to the kitchen, where Bob and Linda were eating peacefully together at the table and Tina was pacing back and forth while munching on a bagel.

"Good morning, Louise!" Linda chirped. Bob turned his head a few times to look around the kitchen.

"Where's Gene?" he asked.

"He probably slept through his alarm again," Louise answered. "I'll go get him."

She made her way over to Gene's bedroom, and knocked on the door.

"Gene! Wake up!" he yelled. It stayed dead silent on the other side of the door. Louise growled, and knocked again, this time harder.

"Gene, get your fat ass out of bed!" She knew it was probably mean for her to say that, but being mean is what Louise did best. When Gene still gave no response, Louise turned the doorknob, finding it unlocked, and flung it open with so much force that it slammed against the wall.

"GE-ENE~!" she screeched. All she got in response to that was a single snore. Gene shifted slightly in his bed, obviously still in dreamland. Screw hurricanes, this guy could sleep through the freaking apocalypse! Louise growled again, and trodded back over to the kitchen, shoulders hunched in annoyance.

"Is he coming?" Bob asked.

"He didn't even fucking wake up," Louise grumbled.

"Louise, you gotta stop saying the f-word so much," Linda warned.

"Your mother's right, Louise," Bob added, "it's not necessary."

"Whatever," Louise said, grabbing a couple of pans from the cupboard.

"Whoa whoa whoa, what are you doing with those?" Bob asked.

"I'm still trying to wake Gene up."

"Yeah, but do you have to use my best pans?"

"Louise, you don't need to use those," Linda said, "just shake him awake."

"That only works when you do it, Mom," Louise argued.

"You've got that magic touch," Tina added. Linda sighed.

"Alright, I'll go wake him up. Now put those pans back." Louise silently complied as Linda went over to Gene's room. She took a deep breath, grabbed his shoulders, and shook him back and forth.

"Gene! Wake! Up! You're! Gonna! Be! Late! For! School!" Linda shouted as she shook her son around.

"Huh what?" Gene asked as he finally snapped out of it. He blinked tiredly a few times. "Oh, hi Mom." He flashed her a lazy smile. Linda sighed.

"Gene, I shouldn't have to do this anymore. You're sixteen."

"What can I say, I like seeing my mom when I wake up~."

"Aww, you're so sweet," Linda cooed. They hugged, and Linda kissed her son on the cheek. "Now get up, it's time to get ready for school." Gene grimaced.

"Ugh, Mondays."

"I know, but hey, Mommy made her sausage for breakfast."

"YES!" Gene yelled excitedly. He pushed his covers off of him and practically flew out of bed into the kitchen. Linda was amazed at how fast he left the room, and by the time she got back to the kitchen, Gene was already scarfing down the sausage.

"Well, he's certianly awake now," Bob stated.

"Jesus, Gene, you're such a pig," Louise said.

"And a cute one, too!" Gene boasted, batting his eyes. "Oink Oink!" Tina chuckled, while Louise rolled her eyes.

"Gene, please don't talk with your mouth full," Bob admonished.

"Sorry Dad," Gene apologized, still with a full mouth.

"Oh my god," Bob mumbled.

"Speaking of cute, I gotta do my make-up," Gene said.

"Ugh, really Gene?" Louise asked. "You're gonna make us all late!"

"I won't take long!" Gene swallowed the rest of his sausage and ran off to the bathroom.

"Yeah, and Rome was built in a day," Louise said sarcastically. She honestly didn't care that her brother was feminine and liked wearing make-up, she just wished it didn't take him so damn long to get ready in the morning. Though, she had to admit, he did do a pretty good job at it.

Later that morning, Tina and Louise were outside waiting for Gene, leaning up against Tina's car. Louise pulled out her phone and sent a text message to her brother. You done yet? About two seconds later, her phone beeped, and she opened up Gene's reply. almost~! ;) Louise groaned.

"Ugh, come on Gene!" she said aloud. "If only he could get ready as fast as he can text back." To pass the time, Louise started texting Jessica.

Yo Jessica

hey babe ;)

Did I ever tell you that my brother takes FOREVER to get ready?

oh well that sucks

I'm so bored!

you wouldn't be bored if i were here ;)

You dirty little devil you~.

no im a big devil you're the little devil

FUCK YOU

when where and how hard? haha

You are so lame

yeah but you love me ;3

Eh, I can't deny that one

still bored?

Yup.

"I'm ready!" Gene suddenly appeared in front of them, all dolled up. Tina and Louise couldn't deny that their brother was very good at fixing himself up. How he could transform from an average joe to a gorgeous model with just a few dabs of make-up and a few strokes of a hairbrush, neither of them would ever know. Not that he wouldn't be attractive anway. "I wore longer pants today, and I really hope I don't get yelled at for them this time."

Nevermind, he just showed up. See you at school babe.

"Are they mid-thigh length?" Tina asked Gene.

"Uhhhh..." He shifted his eyes, obviously unsure. He hung his arms flat at his sides and looked down to see if his pants reached his fingertips. They were an inch above them.

"...Almost."

"You're probably gonna get yelled at again," Tina said bluntly.

"Who cares if he gets yelled at?" Louise said impatiently. "We're already running late!"

"Well somebody's impatient," Gene said teasingly. "Since when are you worried about getting to school on time?"

"Since I have a girlfriend that I wanna see before class starts."

"Oh yeah, that's right." Gene paused to remember that Louise had just started dating her friend Jessica the other day. He looked down at his not-quite-long-enough pants. "Maybe the principal won't notice me today..."

"I hate to break it to ya, Gene, but everybody notices you," Louise said as the three of them climbed into Tina's car.

"They do? Damn, I must be pretty."

"Actually, I was gonna say that everyone probably thinks you're a weirdo, but there might be a few crazy people that find you attractive."

"Hey!"

"Don't listen to her, Gene, you're beautiful," Tina said as she started her car.

"Thank you, Tina!" Gene swooned, putting his hands to his cheeks.

"You're welcome. Now let's get going before Louise explodes back there."

"It's about damn time!"