Hi all! Hope you are doing well. Here's the new chapter! I realized (also, thanks to divergentpanda46 for so kindly suggesting) that for many, this is a return (hehe) to the story after a solid two years of silence on my part, so I will just add a very rudimentary summary in the previous chapter. Apart from that, do comment if the writing's still okay. Is it too slow? Too fast? Too many details? Not making sense? Please let me know!

Thank you to every single person who wrote to me when I left, who came back to this story and read and reviewed, and to every new reader who followed and favorited it. I don't know what I'd do without you. The response was overwhelming.

Love you all! Enjoy!

We move into the elevator, but instead of going down, Tobias presses the '103' button. Many buttons of the elevator are faded: the zero in this button is half gone, resembling a 'u'.

"I need a moment," Tobias says. "And I want to test a theory."

I am confused, but I don't question him. Soon we are there.

This floor is among the many that have fallen to disuse. The empty space is eerily silent.

"Come on." Tobias pulls me along; we move to one far end. At first I think we are walking towards a glass wall, but when we are close enough, I see what it is: a glass ledge.

"Tobias –" But he simply pulls me along, and sits down on the inner side of the ledge. I follow suit, carefully putting my crutches down. Even for me, this height is momentarily dizzying. I can see so far, farther than I have ever seen from within the city. The buildings and the roads stretch on and on, a jagged map of blue-grey, until they meld in a thin grey line with the horizon. The sunrays throw rainbows against the glass. It's fascinating. Breathtaking. I scoot closer to Tobias until our bodies touch. Under me, the transparent pane of glass, though slightly dusty, shows the empty grey road. It looks like a thick ribbon. I have the unearthly sensation of being suspended in thin air.

"They used to call it the Skydeck, I have heard," Tobias breaks the silence.

"It's incredible," I breathe. I wonder how far it is to the fence, how much farther to the Bureau. I try to compare this to how I had felt in the plane ride. We were higher there – I remember the deep blue of the lake – but this is breathtaking in a different way. A static, stable way, not the your-world-is-falling-apart-as-you-realize-you're-so-small way. I wonder how far we can see, trying to remember the few alien names I had learned back in the Bureau. Milwaukee, Wisconsin. Where my mother had lived. Can this view connect the other city experiments? Maybe they are somewhere in that gray haze, impossible to locate.

I break out of my reverie at a shuddering intake of breath beside me. Oh. Tobias. In marveling what I could see, I had forgotten about him, as well as the gravity of what he has done. I feel shame rush up and cling to me like tar.

"We don't have to sit here," I tell him quietly. "Let's sit farther in."

"No," he breathes, closing his eyes, "I'm testing my theory."

"And is it working?"

"Somewhat. I wanted to know if I can invalidate one fear by facing another one." He cracks open one eye. "Why do you think that might work?" It's like the Ferris wheel climb all over again, the questioning.

"The immediacy of the fear you are facing makes it likely that you will be distracted from the other fears."

"Good." He leans back against the glass.

"But the potency of fears varies, making this a highly uncertain exercise."

He opens his eyes and nods ruefully. "Tell me one other reason why this could be useful."

I think. "You… are trying to replicate the fear landscape," I guess. "By making this comparable to a simulation even in your head, you convince yourself that it is possible to overcome it."

"Very good." He nods, and then abruptly stands up. "I think we are done here. Let's go."

I stare. "Tobias –" He takes the call as a gesture for help, supporting me up. I had not meant that. He walks out of the room before I can say anything more. "Come along, Tris," his voice floats from the hallway.

As we descend, I can feel the cover Tobias has built around himself. I want to talk to him, but I have faced too many of these silences before, between him and me. It saps the energy out of me, filling me with the memory of all the fights I had with the Tobias of my past life. I stay silent.

The silence lasts all of our journey back to Dauntless. It's uncomfortable and oppressive; I sit in the back seat this time, fiddling with my fingers. When I had envisioned Tobias defying his father, I had not imagined both of us reacting this way.

We descend into the Dauntless building. I open my mouth to talk over everything, now, when someone calls, "They're here!" And suddenly, Harrison is hurrying over to us.

"What happened?" he asks, his entire body strung up with anticipation.

"I'll let everyone know soon. I'd like to be left alone for a while," Tobias snaps.

Harrison frowns. "Look, boy, you cannot –"

The change is massive but quick; Tobias' entire body heaves with anger. Cold anger. It makes him look terrifyingly like Marcus. It looks ugly on him, this anger. Like he does not know what to do with it. He leans towards Harrison. "No one tells me what I can or cannot do, you understand me?" he growls. "When I have taken the responsibility about this, you will not question me. Do you understand?" Harrison stands his ground, his expression livid. "Do you?" Harrison offers a stiff nod.

"Good. Now if you will excuse me." And he storms away.

"Are you going to act as irrational as your boyfriend?" Harrison snaps. "That son of a bitch."

"Don't," I warn him. "If the three of us are going to work together, you've got to have faith on Four and me. We are younger, so what? We are doing our best." I sigh. "Please tell everyone to gather at the Pit at five. We will tell them everything."

"If you're gonna treat me like a leader, you gotta tell me things, girl." He glares at me wearily.

I look at him. "You're not going to like this. There's a long process involved to catch Jeanine. We need either Candor or Amity on our side."

Harrison swears loudly. "Bloody Stiffs! If they think we're gonna go begging like them, those –"

I resist the sudden urge to punch him with difficulty. "That is not your decision to make. We will meet at five, and everyone will decide then. And till then, you are to tell no one. Do you understand?"

With one last glare and a nod that barely moves his head, Harrison stalks away. And I slowly walk to Tobias's apartment.

Unlike every time, I don't knock; I open the door, which swings back on its hinges silently, and slip in. I close the door after me in time to see Tobias stepping out of the bath, his hair wet, a towel around his shoulder. When he realizes I am here, his brows pucker a little, and he opens his mouth.

"Don't turn me out."

He closes his mouth, and then nods. I move to the bed and sit down. He meanders a little, then, probably realizing that there is nothing else to do, follows suit.

"Tobias." My hand jerks out towards him. I hesitate, then decide that I don't care, and wrap my fingers around his arm.

"I don't want to talk about it."

A flare of anger runs through me. I pull back my hand. There's a memory, crackling and painful. You don't want to have to tell me everything right away, but I have to tell you everything right away? Can't you see how stupid that is? An ugly voice in my head tells me how he demanded the truth out of me. All the truth, not even giving me till morning. But then I feel like slapping myself. What am I thinking? Am I going back to how we were in Candor, even without the burden of deaths on me? I was supposed to be better this time. More sensible, more honest, more selfless. Braver. Kinder.

I place my hand on his arm again. "I think you'll find it's better if you do. We will have to address everyone in the evening, and these things are not good when left unprocessed." I remember myself on the ledge of Merciless Mart, and a wild, brittle laughter escapes my lips. "Trust me."

I don't know if he was expecting me to snap back, because at my words, the tension that had made his muscles taut suddenly flees, making him look younger and strangely unsure.

"This is not how I had expected I would be defying my father," he says quietly, his body hunching forward. "Not by showing off my scars to other people." His mouth puckers in disgust, as if he's eaten something sour. "It was supposed to be just him and me."

"You know him better than me. You know he would never have played fair." My hands clench into fists. "He pretended he didn't know you!"

A bitter laugh leaves him. "Oh, I wish it had always been that way." He sighs. "I don't know why I feel like this. It doesn't feel like victory. Or revenge. Or anything."

"It's okay not to feel anything. But Tobias," I look him in the eye. "That was the bravest thing I have ever seen."

A shy smile lights up his face, that surprised sort of smile, as if he doesn't understand why I bothered to think so highly of him, or look at him at all. He leans in, and his lips brush my temple. "Thank you," he says against my skin. "It does feel slightly better now."

I pull him closer to me. "I think I can make it a little more."

He grins, his nose trailing against my jaw. "Yeah? Show me, then."

I laugh, pulling him by the neck of his shirt as I lie down carefully. "I fully intend to." And our lips meet.

-o0o-

I did not think it possible, but the Pit is even more crowded than the dining halls at breakfast today. Tobias and I stand at the edge, holding ourselves together before the onslaught.

"Tris," Tobias says suddenly. "I don't want you to go to Candor or Amity."

I stare. It hadn't occurred to me that he'd tried to stop me. "But I'm the leader!" I argue. "I need to go."

"There are three leaders, Tris. You don't have to do everything."

His tone is more than a little accusatory. "You don't understand. I have to do this –"

"You are pushing yourself too much! Trying to go alone to save Cara, going to the Hub with injuries, getting attacked on the train –" I seethe. As if he had nothing to do with the last one.

"Do you wish I didn't do all that, now? I only did what I had to do."

Tobias growls softly. "I'm only saying that now you should be done! You should sit back at times and let other people take the risks –"

"No, I shouldn't," I say. "You think you know what's best for me? You have no idea. Knowing what might happen –" And not knowing, too. Does he not realize what I'm facing, this uncertainty, the way things have morphed until I am no longer sure which string to pull, and yet the responsibility and blame is on me, all on me."I can't stop. I am just trying to do something useful. Staying back drives me crazy! Here, I feel sane again –"

"Which is odd, because at this point, you are simply being reckless. Don't you have any regard for your own life?" I open my mouth, but he stops me with a look. "I let you go only because I respect your choices –"

"Let me go?" I snap. "How dare you –"

"Tris, please!" Tobias clutches at his hair. "I'm just trying to tell you that getting hurt or dying is not going to help you save anything or anybody! You need to heal. I respect your resilience but you will burn out if you're not careful. You won't be doing anyone a favor by dying!" His voice drops to a broken whisper. "Please Tris. Remember that."

I lower head in shame. He is right. I really need to stop my temper from getting the better of me.

"You're right, I'm sorry. I will remember that. And I'll stay back."

Tobias's midnight eyes light up slightly. "Are you conceding?" he says, his mouth falling open with mock surprise.

"Yeah. I'm not a very nice person, I know." I smile back unsteadily. "I do need to be put in my place sometimes, I guess." But then I look up and his mouth is curved upwards, his body shaking in silent laughter. "Hey!" I punch him on the arm lightly. "Don't let that get to your head."

"Okay, okay!" He puts up his hands. "It's just … I'm not very nice either, you know. That's why I like you so—"

I punch him again, but then we are both laughing.

Our little bubble is broken all too soon as we move into the crowd. Tobias calls up Harrison and quickly fills him in with the details, and our decisions. Thankfully he does not seem to be holding a grudge at Tobias's less than pleasant behavior earlier. The two of them have a brief discuss as I observe them in silence. Tobias turns to me. "Do you want to start?"

"No, you go ahead."

I stand to the side as Tobias silences the crowd and narrates in brief how the city law works, how Abnegation and Dauntless have allied to persecute to Jeanine, and how we still need the support of Amity or Candor to successfully charge her.

"So we will be heading out tomorrow to Amity and Candor to come to an understanding with them," he finishes.

"Wait, so you mean whether Jeanine can be defeated depends on Amity and Candor, and we are just going with it?" Christina says, her eyes wide with disbelief. "After everything we have been through?"

"What if Amity and Candor don't agree? What if Jeanine gets to them first?" Uriah asks, standing beside her. All around us, questions and protestations rise, turning louder and louder. The uncertainty of this method has escaped no one. But the alternative… the alternative is too terrible to exchange with this.

"Listen," I say, but it's drowned in the noise. "Listen!" I cry again, and this time it cuts through the crowd, high and sharp.

"It's not a good plan, I agree," I begin when there's enough quiet. "And I am as unhappy as you at the Abnegation's insistence on following the law by the word. But the only other option would be storming Erudite, and we'd rather not do that."

"And why not, exactly?" Lynn asks, her mouth pressed in a thin line. "Why not pay them in kind?"

"Because", I say quickly, louder than necessary, to stem the assault of approval that everyone evidently wants to express to Lynn's opinion. "It is not all of Erudite that is our enemy. We need to take action against Jeanine and the traitor Dauntless, but many in the faction are innocent. There are children in there. Resources. Equipment. Erudite is the scientific and medical hub of the city. Can any of you assure me that you will not destroy them, either as collateral damage, or rage?" The images rise in my mind as I speak. Erudite burning. Everything destroyed. People dying.

"And why should we bother?" someone says snidely. I stare. Peter. I had no idea he can come back to Dauntless. Judging by the expressions on the faces on Tobias's face, as well as Christina and a few others, they hadn't either. "Still a little stiff in your heart, Tris?"

Don't let him get to you. Don't let him get to you. The effort becomes much more difficult with the murmurs all around, some derisive, some doubtful. But my eyes are stuck on Peter. How dare he come back! I realize that a large part of the Dauntless must have been unaware of his constant movement between the sides to allow him back in here. I want to accost him then and there, but I cannot make a scene, not now. I tear my eyes away from him with difficulty.

"Brutality is not bravery." I try to keep my voice level. "This is not what our faction has preached. Ending innocent lives is cowardice. Do you want us to become what Jeanine tried to make us? Indiscriminate killers?" Many look uncomfortable. I look around. "Many of you here are transfers from Erudite. It is true that we all left for a reason, and faction before blood, but are these things enough for you to be okay if your family were killed?" It is a low blow, but I see many shifting uncomfortably, Will among them. "Jeanine is also most likely making a good headway on serums; who knows if she will have them ready, wired for multiple rounds, when we face them? Please remember that we are making rounds around our faction everyday simply because we are worried about this. They cannot touch us because they can't see us through the cameras. If we storm their faction, we might as well be serving ourselves up on a plate."

I can feel the sudden uncertainty that has descended on everyone. From the brash vengeful thoughts, they have been reduced to doubts. Especially the doubt about their own safety.

"We are not completely ruling out this option," Tobias speaks up. "Communicating with Candor and Amity will only take a couple of days at most. If this side does not work out, we will reconsider."

Everyone seems somewhat appeased by that. I look around for Peter, but he has disappeared just as suddenly as he appeared, as if he never was here.

"Is that a green signal then? You agree to wait?" Harrison confirms. The answering murmur is hesitant at best, but it is an agreement all the same. "Alright then. We will need at least two volunteers to accompany Four and me to Amity and Candor." He looks at Tobias. "I'll manage Amity. You take Candor."

Tobias shrugs. "Zeke, Shauna, want to come with us?"

Someone grumbles about favoritism.

"I want to go!" We turn towards the resolute voice. It's Will. "I want to go," he repeats, "to Amity. I'll go with Harrison." He must want to see Cara, I realize, who has been at Amity for some time now.

Harrison shrugs. "Suit yourself, boy. Meet me at nine sharp tomorrow morning."

Will nods, and sinks back into the crowd beside Christina.

"That's nice I guess, I spend too much time at the fence anyway," Shauna says. "You stay at home, Zekey."

"Are you sure two will be enough?" I ask Tobias.

"I don't want to make a crowd. Much more noticeable."

I nod. "Fair enough."

"So Will and I will go to Amity, and Four and Shauna will go to Candor," Harrison announces. "Let's hope this is short and worthwhile," he adds with a grimace.

I really, really hope it will be, but I can't ignore the strange, uncomfortable feeling in my gut as I walk back to Tobias's apartment. I tried to search for Peter, but I could not find him. If it hadn't been for Tobias's expression at that moment, I would have thought I imagined it.

What is happening?

-o0o-

I wake up to see Tobias already in the process of dressing to go out.

"Am I that late?" I ask groggily, sitting up.

"No, I am just a bit early." He pulls down a black t-shirt over his chest. "Shauna and I leave after breakfast. I don't want this to take any longer than it must."

"Do you think Jack Kang will agree?"

"If he has not changed his mind since he caved in about the truth serum – assuming Jeanine was not making empty threats – I am not at all hopeful," he says thoughtfully. "Though I really hope he has seen sense by now. Would be a real shame if the faction that preaches truth and handles justice succumbs to Jeanine's schemes."

I nod. I don't know which of the two factions are more likely to agree – the Amity with their dictum of peace or the Candor with their views in black and white. Johanna Reyes is fairly likely to be an ally, and my father has promised to send a message through to her, but she does not hold enough power to make decisions on behalf of her faction. And judging by how insistently the Amity members had wanted us gone from their faction, I really doubt if they will engage in anything that will lead to anyone's persecution. 'Peace' is a very vague term, and often very twisted, especially if we think of a faction that enforces it by drugging their populace. Neither Candor nor Amity have seemed to consider the absence of Dauntless and Abnegation children from their school a problem. Will they help us now? I remember how relentlessly Tobias and I had been interrogated at the Candor headquarters; how difficult it had been for us to sway their already cemented views. The shooting, the simulation. I'd be lying to myself if I said that I feel hopeful about this entire endeavor. But the other option is too brutal, too risky. Too many strings attached – simulation serums, the city laws, the threat of the factionless. We cannot fell a faction just like that. And if it comes down to it, I'd rather it be later than sooner.

I see Tobias off at the entry to Dauntless, and watch as he and Shauna take the train in the distance. Christina walks up to me as I enter the Pit, having just said goodbye to Will.

"I don't like it," she tells me with all her Candor frankness. "I don't think it will work."

"I'm not very hopeful either," I confess. "But I don't want us to walk into a war again. Not against a faction that has serums that can turn us against ourselves."

Christina shudders. "Yeah, yeah you're right." Her head perks up beside me. "Hey, what about Peter?"

"Did you see him too?"

She laughs harshly. "What do you mean? Everyone saw him. How the hell did that rat get back in? And why does nobody care?"

"I don't know." I kick a loose stone in front of me. "I couldn't accost him there. And then he was gone. I couldn't find him at all."

"It's really bothering me, you know. He heard everything. I just… don't understand. Anything."

Experience tells me that Peter should be trustworthy, but I am not sure.

"Do you want to do a spot of training?" I am feeling restless already, nervous energy filling me everywhere. "I don't think they'll be back till evening at least."

Christina gives me a look. "With your entire left side non-functional?"

"It's healing fast," I say hopefully. "I think I might be completely fine in a week or two. Till then, might as well practice with knives and handguns." I need to do something, anything to get this strange feeling out of me, this feeling that has been on me since last night.

"Fair enough. Come along, then."

-o0o-

I slowly walk back to Tobias's apartment, flicking my sweaty hair out of my face. We had run into Uriah, Lynn and Marlene, which made practice much more entertaining than it would have been with the two of us. I practiced my aim with a small handgun that I can use with one hand, while the others went through rounds of fighting. It's been only a few hours since Tobias left. I am struggling to open the door when I hear a rush of footsteps behind me. It's Christina. She hasn't taken the tape off her knuckles yet. Her eyes are wild.

"Tris!" she staggers into a halt, bent double to catch her breath. "It's – Four. He – they – came back."

I stare. This can't be good. It's too early. The keys slip from my hands and fall to the floor.

"What happened?" I resist the urge to shake her. "Tell me!"

"They're – in the infirmary. Pretty bad state. Shauna asked me to get you. Lynn and Uri and the rest are there."

I would have run if it were not for the simple fact that my left leg won't allow me. The journey to the infirmary seems to take forever. Christina and I walk in to find Shauna sitting on one of the beds, a cloth bandage pressed to her side. Lynn is standing next to her, the two sisters communicating without words, making faces at each other and nodding and smiling when they come to an understanding, Shauna's smile a little strained and laced with pain. Zeke sits on the edge of her bed, looking distraught. And on the bed next to her, lying prone, is evidently Tobias. Uriah stands near him while Marlene sits on a chair, wearing expressions of mingled horror and pity.

I try to be fast enough without making a lot of noise. At first, it looks like he is unconscious, but then I see that he is awake, but barely so. Uriah shoves Marlene out of the chair, who protests but lets me sit down with a smile.

"You don't have to –"

"We were just leaving anyway. Don't want a crowd."

Left alone in the chair, I turn to Tobias. There are a hundred different things I want to say to him, but the one that comes out is, "What happened?"

"Hi to you too," he all but whispers, trying for a wry smile. It comes out like a grimace, like the ones he wore when Al kept failing.

"Don't make him talk," Shauna says with unexpected gentleness. "He's been through too much already." She sighs, pressing her bandage closer. "We never made it to Candor. We were attacked."

I feel a shiver run down my spine. "Eric?"

"He wasn't there but there were his lackeys. All traitors. Do you know they are wearing a blue strip around their arm now?" Zeke growls in disgust at that. "They were just outside Candor, in the alleyway next to the Merc Mart. They must have known that we'd come."

The unsaid question lingers in the air. How did they know?

I look at Tobias. His eyes are closed, breathing even. I panic momentarily. "Is he –"

"Just asleep, I bet." I turn to see Helena walking into the room. "I gave him some sedatives to ease the pain, they must be kicking in." Her lips turn down. "He's got more injuries than I have fingers. Almost crossed you, Tris."

I have never seen Tobias on a hospital bed. It unsettles me in a way nothing ever has. With his head bandaged, multiple cuts stitched (I don't even know how much damage the shirt hides) he looks so unlike the man I have known, always on his feet.

"How many were there?" I ask Shauna.

"At least ten," she guesses. There is a pregnant pause.

"You're wondering how he is in this state and I am practically untouched, aren't you?" Shauna asks me carefully. I look down, embarrassed. The thought did cross my mind – Shauna only has a few bruises on her face, a grazed shoulder and that injury on her side, that I can see.

"It's...weird. It's like they were targeting Four. I tried to intervene as best as I could but they seemed to be so fixated on him. Only some two of them engaged with me." She hangs her head. "I feel so ashamed. The only thing that even hurts in my body is that odd prickle of somewhere towards the back of my neck – I don't even know what hit me – and this gun wound on the side. Four, on the other hand…" We all look at him. He fought more than eight people at once. I don't know whether to feel proud or acknowledge the immense load of hurt in my chest. I stayed back. He got hurt. I know I would have only hindered him. But the guilt refuses to go.

I sit in the infirmary for a long time. Lynn eventually walks out to dinner; Zeke sits with his arm wrapped around Shauna, comforting her. Finally, Christina and Uriah come back in, carrying plates of food for us.

"There's nothing more you can do," Christina tells me with uncharacteristic gentleness. "Eat up and go to bed." After a little coercion, I do. I watch as Zeke presses a kiss to Shauna's forehead and leaves with a nod and a smile towards me. I need to go too. Helena will kick me out soon.

I practically pull myself out of the chair. "Take care, Shauna."

She smiles at me kindly. "You too, Tris." Then, with a last look at Tobias, I leave.

Will and Harrison are still out. Are they okay? Have they been attacked too, but too far away to come home? A pit of anxiety blooms and grows in my stomach. Everything seems to be on the verge of spiraling out of control.

-o0o-

Sleep doesn't come to me that night. I shrug on a black t-shirt that Tobias wears, trying to draw comfort from it even as I lie curled up on one side of the bed, which feels too big for me, just like the shirt that reaches past my thighs. But the bed feels big in a wrong sort of way; I have never spent a night here alone. I try and fail to shake off the uneasiness that smothers me. I wish I had stayed back in the infirmary.

I don't know how long into the night it is when I hear a slight sound outside the door. I would have never heard it if I were asleep, it's too low. I strain my ears, slowly edging out of the bed. It is the sound of footsteps. Slow, measured. Regular. It would not be unusual anywhere, only, Tobias's apartment is on the far end of the corridor. Nobody would come this far unless they were headed right here.

The hair on the back of my neck rising, I climb out of bed. Fear god alone stares at me dimly from the opposite wall. I manage to steady myself on my crutches when the footsteps are here; without warning, the door is thrown open. I forgot to lock it. Shit. Shit.

I blink in the darkness at the person at the door. Shauna?

The light outside renders her pale blue. There is a gun in her outstretched hands. The second stretches between us, lightning-fast and infinitely slow.

Then she shoots.