1.
Breakthrough (Hinata)
There was a reason to be happy.
It was a bright warm day in April. The temperature which was balmy complimented the shining sun. The sky was cloudless and its blue crystal clear. The warm air swirled through the town, enveloping everything and every person into a welcoming embrace.
The day was lovely.
Even for Hinata.
After all that time it looked like a miracle –like a sudden bridge between earth and heaven. That was a feeling she didn't even remember ever feeling. For the first time in forever she was happy. Moreover, she felt like she belonged somewhere.
"Oh my God! Where have my moody Hinata gone?"
Hinata turned toward her little sister.
"What are you talking about?"
"Is that a smile? I can't believe it" Hanabi laughed "it's so shiny. I can't help but succumb to your power"
"Hey!" Hinata laughed "did you have to bite my sandwich?"
"I couldn't wait reaching the fridge. I had to bite yours." Hanabi winked
Hinata looked at her little sister, as if for the first time. She was humming like a bird, while dancing and making her breakfasts. She seemed to be everywhere at the same time. Despite her straight-out-of-bed attire, her energy made her glow, like she as making some commercial. Not only was her personality adequate but her looks –she was beautiful, her long dark brown hair complimenting her sun-kissed skin, assured attitude and slender yet athletic body.
Her little sister was gorgeous and lively. It was obvious for her, but it felt like it was the first time she was actually seeing and watching her.
"You are not you"
"You think?"
"Totally! But you know what? I've never been any happier than right now"
"There is a reason to be happy" Hinata nodded behind her cup of coffee
"I don't even want to know why. I'm just gonna take advantage of that. And you know what I want babe" Hanabi said, her finger going back and forth between her and Hinata
"Hahaha. You are really… exaggerating everything" Hinata shrugged with a smile
"Yeah, whatever you say. Tonight. You and me. At Jiraya's!"
"Hanabi-Chan…"
"No Nee-Chan, no" Hanabi half screamed, half hissed, and then slapped both hands on Hinata's shoulders "I have wished to see you again like this –this smiley, all rainbow and shit. Shh, I know I swore but no one cares –back to you. Right now, nothing is more important than that" Hanabi marked a pause, looking deep into Hinata's eyes
"Hana…"
"So, please… let's just enjoy this together okay?"
Hinata chewed on her lower lip.
"What about work tomorrow?"
"I won't drink that much. So I'm fine"
"Today is Friday. What about your friends? They-"
"I can survive without them. Nee-Chan, I want to spend this evening with you. It's been a long time since we had a decent evening. So please, please, pretty please"
"O-Okay" Hinata breathed deeply
"Yes! You're not regretting it Nata-Chan" Hanabi shouted "Now, now! Important choices: your clothes. You don't joke about clothes. Come with me"
"I know you are happy but you are going to tear my arm"
Hanabi disappeared behind the door of the modern kitchen. Hinata giggled. Her little sister always loved fashion and what not, her appearance being one of her most important priorities. She never joked about that, as much as she did with taking care of her, which she herself hadn't been doing.
The worse has been Hanabi's expression. It wasn't the comical one; one had to see in movies where a fashion victim's soul was deranged by the mere sight of unpaired colors. Hinata had to witness her desolation resulting from her own desolation.
Hinata cringed.
Just for that she was ready to touch the sky if Hanabi wanted that.
"We are going shopping"
Hinata had barely time to get dressed that Hanabi came into her room and pulled her by the hand. They decided to take Hanabi's car, which offer the intimacy required. Hinata had no car anyway.
Hanabi showed happily her new car she got six months prior. She gushed about it and its color before they finally entered the red car. It was sleek and powerful; its windows were tinted limo black. The engine's silent as Hanabi for once was aware of speed limits.
The way to the mall has been full of Hanabi's chitchat too. She wouldn't stop talking. From the news concerning their family –with some venom and mockery- to her own personal life, Hanabi didn't miss a thing, the flow of her speech quick and excited. Hinata would nod, or add empty-softeners, letting her sister talk non-stop
Hinata had the feeling they hadn't seen each other for a long time, despite living together since a long time now. While the situation by the Hyuga didn't surprise or actually touched her, she was pained to know about her sister's boyfriend three months later.
"I want you to meet him, y'know. It'll be really cool. Nee Onee-chan?"
"Well, I would love to Hana-Chan -whenever you want"
One hour later they reached the largest mall in the town. Hanabi pulled into the parking garage, down into the underground level.
"Here we go. So we're gonna grab something. We go shopping once we're done" Hanabi instructed
"It is okay for me" Hinata sounded apprehensive
"Calm down" Hanabi laughed "You look like a deer caught in headlights. I'm here, so no 'wowiesss'"
"That is what worries me the most" Hinata joked, a small smile gracing her lips. Hanabi laughed harder
Hanabi took Hinata's hand and pulled her from the car. She held onto the hand of her big sister, keeping her close by her side as they walked from the dark garage. She skirted from the edge of the garage, keeping in the shadow.
The mall was crowded, many groups of shoppers passed, making Hinata nervous. When Hanabi noticed the slight trembled in her hand, she squeezed it and led her sister to the edge of the flow of people, forcing their way through. It wasn't helping that they would get stares from time to time. That unnerved Hanabi who would share middle fingers to shocked people.
"Hanabi! Please, do not be so inconvenient" Hinata murmured in a pressing tone
"Yeah, whatever. Staring is impolite. Why would I be polite to them anyway?" Hanabi sneered. Hinata shook her head
"You are really reckless. You should be more prudent, especially in your choices. What if-"
" Blablabla. I know what I do. Believe me, I've never regretted any of my choices because up until now they have served me more than well" Hanabi said with seriousness, staring into her sister's eye "so, stop worrying for me. We are here for you"
Hinata sighed
"Really? Then I prefer we spend time just the two of us-"
"Nope; nein; non! We are so not spending time at house. You know what? These evening is finally for me and we're going out"
They ate something at the food court, but quickly went on. Hinata didn't even have time to finish her plate that Hanabi was already pulling her along. Soon enough, Hinata was contaminated by her sister's infectious good mood and the overflow of the crowd affected her much less.
Hanabi led the way down the wide corridors of the mall, her eyes lightening now and then on something she wanted, hauling Hinata along with her at each stop. She paused for a moment at an expensive boutique to buy accessories completely out of what was planned – three pairs of sunglasses, three different shades of hats; two pairs of day shoes, hairbrushes and rubber bands.
Hinata was feeling this has been a trap all along.
But Hanabi didn't get down to business until she dragged Hinata into the kind of store she never frequented. Not only did the items look like coming directly from magazines and houses from creators, but the prize of a purse could encompass her salary as a bookseller. Hanabi on the other hand was on familiar territory with the required arms.
They ended buying way more than planned: outside the black soft leather pants and sleeveless dark red top Hinata was supposed to wear, and the short dark brow dress of Hanabi, there were three more clothes for evenings and six for every day.
"Why do I feel like half of these are mine?" Hinata asked half joking, half serious. Hanabi laughed
"Why do you think we are here?" Hanabi laughed "of course I can't resist some attracting articles here and there, but that's basically for you"
"Can we rest? I am basically carrying all the bags"
"Oh, cry baby. That weights shit"
"Hana!"
"Yeah, yeah, whatever. So, bear it. We are not far from our next destination
After fighting for Hinata to trade her floor-length skirt and pink t-shirt for a pale blue dress, Hanabi resigned herself.
"To think you wanted to make me happy." Hanabi dramatically sighed
Hinata gulped. She finally lost to her sister's pout and wore the dress, which reached barely her knees. She was already afraid of the night her crazy sister was preparing for her.
They went to get manicures and pedicures. Hinata wanted to get a modest shade of blue, which Hanabi refused, ordering the manicurist instead to paint her up with a dark shimmering red –it's for her top, had she said to the woman in charge of Hinata's nails. The woman nodded as if it was only natural.
Then Hanabi took her sister shoe shopping. That is when Hinata realized the vast wide-range of her sister craziness, and it was too late. She had never been this grateful to have a personal car, even if it wasn't hers. At least they could have a place to put all the new purchases.
As hours ticked away, Hinata was finally softening to this rave of boutiques and likes. They were in the car, Hanabi driving and chatting away while Hinata sat quietly on the passenger seat, enjoying the music filtering from the car, her sister's sly comments and anecdotes and the surroundings.
Their hour was closing. The afternoon was slowly dying into a colorful painting of yellow, pink and blue, letting the night take over. She preferred natural areas untouched by modernism or urbanism, forests over cities, prairies over malls but the giant buildings displayed a certain beauty she would deny it. It was especially true for her during evening, when lights would be turn on and splash over the roads and places.
The festive atmosphere was in the air, and for the first time in a while she felt in tune with the world around, she was in with it, instead of standing at the doors with the world insensitive to her and her problems.
"Finally there Nee-Chan. You never came here but it's amazing. Chick and all –just like in movies. And the bartender is really good with his hands… If you see what I mean" Hanabi smiled and wiggled her eyebrows
"I thank you for this evening Hanabi-Chan"
"Eh, you shouldn't thank me yet. Wait to see what I've got for you" Hanabi lavishly smiled
"Oh, I am so scared"
They laughed all the way to the last level of the gigantic building. Once in the room, Hinata realized that it took the entire place on that level, leaving not even a centimeter for anything else. It as modern and apparently well loved –there were a lot of people but the number didn't exceed the area. The entrance was selective, they had to go a lot of verification and Hinata noticed out the vigil knew Hanabi. They even seemed to be friends even if the robust man wasn't so friendly
Hinata was awed. Outside the class bending of white all over the walls and furniture with the dark shades of the bar, the customer had a vast view of the town through an enormous floor-to-roof glass. It was a picture of blue, gold, white and red little dots piercing the dark night, to let the buildings be seen. All her senses were teasing in a most pleasing way: the amazing view and luxurious furniture, the smell of cologne swirling, the light blow of the air conditioner grazing her skin, the good song mixed by the DJ, the overall warm atmosphere of the place… It was more like her sister than her but it wasn't so bad then shared with loved ones.
"Okay Nata. This is the highest point of the evening. You know why…"
"Do not worry. I will not make you ashamed"
"Of course. Now check out my appearance. Do I look good?"
Of course, Hinata wanted to scream. On the other hand, she knew her sister asked for the form more than anything. She herself knew she was beautiful, and could strike whenever she wanted a career as model. She was thin, with thick straight hair and a perfect gifted with symmetry. To top it, her beauty had something special –despite the feminine traits to her face; she had this androgenic side that somehow made her stood out from the usual crowd.
Her insolent natural air was the topping of the cake.
"Of course you are a beauty" Hinata just smiled and rolled her eyes
"I know. Just wanted to hear you say it" Hanabi laughed
"Of course"
"Hana!" A guy called out
"He's coming. So smile and don't stop" Hanabi whispered to Hinata
Hinata saw him getting closer. He looked nice and quite normal. She was a bit surprised. Knowing her sister, a man with muscles, tattoos, long hair and a bike came to her mind first –the shameless cluster of a bad boy's cliché. At least he wasn't a dealer –she hoped.
He was groomed. His hair was styled in a short haircut, with spikes tending to one side. He wore plaid shirt with jeans and sneakers, so no boots were seen. Hinata appreciated him already but she wasn't sure about him. His smile looked sloppy, too squared, and too tight.
She already felt the first burn of being exposed to humans again after a long time
"Hel- I mean, good evening. I'm Konohamaru, this, uh" Konohamaru hesitated, probably ready to use unpleasant things to designate his girlfriend "girl. I mean, Hanabi… Chan"
"Uh, g-good-" Hinata started to get cut midway
"Hey, man. What with the weirdo act? Drop it off already. This is my big sister and you'd better make a better impression than that" Hanabi hissed
"About that, we'd better spea-"
"Hinata?"
She felt like hitting a wall brick without realizing it was on the way. She could have recognized the voice in any time and place.
Without much thought she turned toward the origin of the voice: in front of her stood a blond, his appearance not coopering with her memory. The first thing that struck her was his height. He was probably about six feet then. He had tattoos on his right forearm, much more defined and visible muscles and black earrings. His style had nothing to do with the clueless, and colorful track suits and pants from old days. Yet she recognized the sun kissed skin, the sand blond hair peaking under the beanie even if they were way shorter than before, and the piercing blue eyes.
Naruto, her first love from sweet innocent days of high school stood before her.
The boy she had adored to obsession was standing before her.
Shock wasn't an enough word to describe the surprise
She didn't have time to recover that another blond come up and intertwined her fingers with Naruto's bigger ones. Her silky long hair was a lighter tone of blond than Naruto and reached the small of her back. She had a tattoo like him, but hers was on the left side of her thigh, clearly going up under her clothes as let her short denims show it. Her see-through long-sleeved red shirt let see a black bra and more tattoo on her waistline.
Now she was baffled.
"Hey, Hinata. Long time no see. I begged Konohamaru to tag me along" Naruto grinned as he used to, innocence and sincerity smeared all over. He hugged her with his free arm "I wouldn't believe his step-sister was actually my Hinata"
"Damn you Konohamaru" Hanabi cursed, her eyes launching daggers at her boyfriend
"What? I told him. He wanted to make her a surprise" Konohamaru pleased, clearly trying to save his head.
"Care to make introduction playboy?" the blond girl asked, her face held high with cool arrogance
"Ino, I present you Hinata –the first sweetheart of my life. Hinata, Let me introduce you my girlfriend."
"Well, isn't she cute" Ino said, still gauging Hinata
"Surely gorgeous enough to take him back if she wants" Hanabi hissed, all claws out
"H-Hanabi-Chan. What is that kind of manners" Hinata quickly murmured for only Hanabi to hear "please I apology for her attitude"
"Why for? It's not like I'm lying" Hanabi loudly said that
Hinata was wondering what Hanabi has seen on her face to suddenly be so aggressive to that Ino. She wouldn't figure out what were her real feelings as confusion sent opposing emotions of pain and butterflies. However she felt out of place, like a mother who had crashed into a teen party.
She was wondering how much different they could have been; how she might have kept him from being what he really wanted –a young man having fun and getting tattoos. The dark and cold sensation that they have always belonged t worlds totally separated with billions of kilometers, and that she might have sucked the life out of him towed at her heart strings. She somehow felt guilty.
"Oh really?" Ino asked with a wicked grin
"Isn't it obvious? She's gorgeous. Brunettes are better than blondes"
"Okay girls! This is getting out of proportion" Naruto said with an embarrassed laugh
"Hanabi…" Hinata pleaded with more firmness to her voice
"Well, Abi, you're not usually such a bitch with me" Ino laughed "what happened?"
The information vaguely registered in Hinata's mind. However the room was getting too small for Hinata. She needed to get out of there, as much as her little sister.
"Excuse us! We are going to the bathroom to cool off. It was a pleasure to meet you uh, Ino-kun. I hope to see you around. Same goes for you Konohamaru-kun…" she said in a light voice, hiding perfectly her emotion behind a mask of politeness "Naruto-kun" she said his name, reaping the band-aid in one motion
Hinata towed her little sister who didn't fight much. Hanabi just followed, walking closely behind as if she sustained her desire to get away from the group. As they walked briskly, her mind drifted, temporary off her precious letters, while she tried to push down the emotions born from seeing her ex. The emotion wasn't expected for her but there're still tidbits of pain.
Of her old fails.
On that thought, Hinata pushed hard against the red doors of the toilets.
Hinata breathed deep.
"Why did you-"
"Here"
Hanabi was trying to force mate lipstick on Hinata, but she kept pushing it aside.
"Just put it and go back there"
"It's okay"
"No, it's not… look, Hinata, you can always have Naruto back. I'm sure everything will go back to before"
"Hanabi-"
"No, don't 'Hanabi' me. You have never been happy after you broke up. The only time you actually had colors or a real smile was when he's around"
"He is different. I am different. We have changed"
"Because of tattoos? Or because he knows how to properly dress? Come on! It only serves you right"
Hanabi looked up with glassy eyes, and Hinata felt even guiltier. But the reality was there and she could face it.
Tonight she realized something that her giddy and amorous mind didn't noticed back then. She never completely and truly has been part of his life. He was like sunshine. He loved live and fun. She on the other hand was a mass f dark energy and depression. She always has been so with no chance of escape.
But she tried to fight this thought. She tried to run away from herself and take refuge under his sunlight. Her dependence for happiness through their bound served nothing because things got worse then.
They were too different. She thought then that her presence would have tainted and soiled him, or drag him down the hole with her like she did with her little sister. She almost hated herself when thinking that.
At least he found someone who could run along with him, instead of pulling him back.
She had met someone too.
"I'm so sorry, Nee-chan. That's what I should have tried –bring Naruto and you back. Instead of that I-" Hanabi tearless sobbed
"No, Aniki-Chan. It is more than that… beside you are friend with Ino. You cannot do that to your friend"
Hanabi kept apologizing nonstop. Hinata tried to persuade her that it was nothing –which wasn't for her, but the younger woman kept apologizing, as if she made the biggest error on this world. Hinata knew how melodramatic her sister could be. She smiled widely, put one hand on her shoulder, and the other one under her small chin.
"I wanted to protect you" Hanabi said as Hinata softly pushed her head upward t meet eyes
"It is okay Hanabi. I can and I have to face reality, no matter what. You cannot try to help me in such a way, as it can hurt a lot of people –even you."
Hanabi looked down.
"Do you have anything you want to confess now?" Hinata joked to ease the atmosphere
"… No"
"Good… by the way, it is okay if both of you are friends. She totally looks like your type. You will not ruin your friendship for such thing. Anyway, I am over him Hanabi Chan"
"Oh… really. Who could have guessed?" Hanabi sneered, part of her humor missing
Hinata giggled while letting go of Hanabi.
"Besides, I have kind of met someone else"
"Tell me more" Hanabi squinted Hinata's way, her face mostly serious
"Well… I have been receiving … letters from someone with whom something clicked" Hinata admitted with flushed cheeks
"If that's what you call 'meeting someone', you need my help" Hanabi rolled her eyes with a secretive smile
"Hanabi-Chan, don't be mean" Hinata pushed Hanabi lightly on the shoulder, still smiling
"It feels like this total stranger helps you feel good though"
"Indeed"
"Cool. Cute perfumed letters are no new technology –pretty much old school but nothing to shit yourself about."
"Actually… I want to meet him in real life. Please don't look at me with those judging eyes. This is something real… It is the First time someone knows me and understands me like that. It's more mature…"
"Then what? Your high school's crush? Don't be ridiculous. It's nothing serious. What man writes such thing besides pussy?" Hanabi bit out. Hinata wanted to take it as a joke, with the usual bluntness only her sister was capable of, but the humor was missed; her tone was too cool "There's no address anyway. Why lose your time"
"How would you know?"
A long pause stretched between the sisters.
Other women came and went. Some would look and whispered, making hypotheses about the tense scene in such a place, other would just go on about their business.
"Since when do those kinds of stupid letters have address or names?"
"Those letters? I-"
"Isn't it from a secret admirer? … You have said it yourself so don't play dumb"
"You might insult him or even I but I do not care. He makes me feel good again and I'll meet him. If you are not happy about my contentment…"
"I can't believe it. So the story repeats itself. It was Naruto, now a total stranger… you've always put boys before me, even when I had always been there for you. No matter how hard I tried, how I followed you" Hanabi hissed with a broken smile
"Don't-"
"I've always tried to create a bound with you. Whenever I tried to spent time with you, or follow you around, and even begged, you'd always put me aside for him. Now this… you've just chosen a guy again over me"
"I never said that"
"Then choose. It's me or him."
"Don't be ridiculous"
"I asked you to choose."
Another heavy silence weighted in the luxurious restroom. Hinata looked at her sister's expression, hurt and anger written over her face. She thought for a moment that it's was just another spoiled feat of hers. She was used to them. It was not the first time, and she wouldn't accept those accusations.
Hinata frowned. She pinched her lips, mulling over her next words.
"For once, I have got the chance of meeting someone who might accept me as I am and you try to be egoistic?"
"You can't even choose me over a total stranger you might never meet." Hanabi sneered "I'm done. And when your heart will be broken, don't even come back to me. I won't be there this time"
They just stared at each other, without bulging. Hanabi was looking for something; Hinata was a wall of steel –opaque and unreadable
Hanabi pushed the door hard, but the force it opposed due to be automatic nerved her even more. Hinata just shook her hair. A she started to follow her sister, a pink haired girl with emerald eyes appeared, slowing her pace. Hinata apologized and went round her.
Hinata peeked at their table. Another new head with dark disheveled hair was there. They were drinking, laughing and teasing each other. It looked like they were shooting for a commercial –cool to watch, and making one wanting to be close enough to share that moment with them. Some other people wanted to mingle with them already.
It just underlined things Hinata didn't want to think about.
Then her eyes caught the ones of the new addition.
His eyes flashed over to hers
His gaze destabilized her for a second
Indifference and boredom was written all over his face. In a matter of seconds he looked away, freeing her from whatever had trapped her, though. It was intimidation. She recognized him from her college's years. They never had been friend however. Yet she remembered his notoriety.
She turned away. That wasn't the worst yet.
Hanabi was not with them. For the first time she actually took her sister's words seriously enough for worry to crawl its way on her cool skin. Anxiety reached its peak, mixing with all the bad feelings brought by that old acquaintance.
She fought her way through the mass of sweaty dancers, who were getting indecent with each passing minute.
Hinata went to the police.
"She wanted to get away from the annoying authority and that's it"
She told everything, but with twenty a person was legally of age to go anywhere they want. There was the fact that they fought before her departure too. Those two reasons were enough for the police not to spare her a second glance.
Hinata went back home, a strong surge of guilt gnawing at her guts.
She lied on the couch, never closing her eyes.
Hanabi didn't get back home that night.
