Chapter 1 - Mummy?

"We were going to stay together until we were grey and old, remember? Please don't let go. Please... we need you here. I need you here."

He couldn't stand that sound, the sound of machines beeping. Although most people would see the noise as a positive sign, that their loved one was still with them, he couldn't stand it. It was just another reminder that she wasn't here. Well not fully here. Not really.

"Mummy?"

"Hey buddy," Fitz replied turning around. "Mummy isn't going to be talking for a while."

"Why?"

The sound of the door opening again made Fitz look back over his shoulder. The timing of the interruption was welcomed, as it gave him some more time to think of a way to explain this. He hadn't even begun thinking of way to explain something like this to a four year old.

"I'm sorry Fitz. I swear I only took my eyes off him for a second." Abby said, her voice full of worry. "I know you wanted some time first. I'll just grab him quickly."

"You know what Abby, it's fine, I need to talk to him anyway."

Abby nodded her head and walked back towards the door, exiting quietly.

"C'mere O." He bent down and Oscar went willingly into his fathers arms. "I'm going to need your help with this Livvie" he mumbled to himself whilst standing back up.

"Daddy, is Mummy asleep?"

"Erm, sort of, but not really. It's hard to explain O." Fitz said walking back to the seat next to the bed and sitting down, placing Oscar on his lap with silence falling between the two of them.

A few minutes later breaking the silence Oscar stated, "Auntie Abby isn't my friend anymore."

"Oh? Why not?" Fitz asked intrigued by his sons statement.

"She said Mummy won't play with me today."

"Well..." Fitz sighed not sure how to explain this either. Why was this happening? It felt like it was never going to get better. "I'm sure Mummy does want to play, she just can't at the moment." He said as he grabbed Olivia's hand.

"Why not? Mummy always wants to play with me." Oscar asked genuinely confused.

"I know, I know... Its just" Fitz was stopped mid sentence by the door opening again. When he saw who had walked in he felt a sense of relief. He definitely needed some help.

"Nanny!" Oscar shouted before Fitz could speak.

"Mum? How did you find out so? Oh, God! Who else knows? How do people know things so quickly? What's it like out there?" Fitz asked all the questions in quick succession, the panic evident in his voice.

"Fitz, relax. Abby called me. Don't worry about what's going on out there, we will sort that. You focus on Liv." Lily Grant said as she ruffled her grandsons' hair and kissed her sons cheek.

"Hey... Guess who else is here?" Lily said looking directly at Oscar.

"Granddad!" Oscar shouted wriggling around, trying to get out of his fathers' hold as his grandfather walked in the door. Fitz lifted Oscar from his lap and placed him on his feet so he could go to his grandfather.

"Hey buddy! Lets' go get some snacks, yeah?" He asked the little boy, picking him up in the process.

"Yeah!" He shouted.

Fitz and his mother watched as the pair left the room and waited for the door to close. Once it was shut Lily was the first to speak.

"He seems okay. How did he take it? You have told him haven't you?" she questioned.

Fitz stood from his seat next to the bed and began to pace, a definite habit that he picked up from Olivia.

"How do you suppose I do that!" He snapped.

Lily looked at her son, slightly shocked at his outburst. She knew it hadn't been an easy few hours for him but she didn't think that his outburst was justified. She took the seat across the room from her son and watched him as he paced.

"Fitz..."

"I'm sorry. Its just... How am I supposed to tell him that his mother may not wake up. How do I tell a four year old that he may never be able to play with her again. Or talk to her. Or do anything with her ever again... I don't know how to do this. Mum please, I can't do this, it will destroy him. "

"Fitz, listen to me. It has to be you. You have to do this for him, dig deep and find the strength. You will be able to do this, yes it will be hard and he will need you now more than ever but, it will get better. She will get better. Just be patient and just tell him the truth, he may not fully understand, but it should be the truth. He deserves that much."

Fitz sat back down. He and his mother then sat there in silence, with Fitz looking at and holding onto Olivia and Lily staring at Fitz. Lily looked at her son for a minute longer before getting to her feet and walking towards him. She placed her hands on his shoulders, getting his attention.

"I'm going to give you two some space. We have the floor sealed off. We will be down the hall waiting." She bent down to kiss his forehead before making her way to the door.

"Thank you Mum." She heard from Fitz as she was about to leave.

Once he was alone with Olivia again, he thought about what he would say to Oscar. He looked at Olivia "I could really use your help here. I feel like, I can't do anything right in this situation. Livvie... Why is this so difficult? What happened out there?" He asked and although he knew he wasn't going to get a response, he was still hoping for one.

As Fitz sat there in the silence he began to think about the events of the last few hours, and how he would explain it all to Oscar. Unable to think of anything to say to soften the blow of a harsh truth, Fitz tried not to think at all. That didn't work either. He felt tears beginning to escape and he didn't have either the energy or the courage to hold them back any longer. With tears streaming down his face he shuffled his chair as close to the bed as it would go and placed his head on the bed, wishing sleep would come.

The next thing that Fitz felt was someone gently shaking him, he hadn't realised he had actually managed to fall asleep until he opened his eyes.

"Hey Fitz" he heard.

"What time is it?" He asked looking up at his mother.

"It's early. We are going to start heading out. Are you coming with us?"

"No... I can't. Not now. I can't leave her Mum." He said with a shaky voice. "Could you take Oscar please?"

"Of course. Fitz, you need to take care of yourself as well. Oscar still needs you." She said kissing him on the cheek.

"I know... I know. Just for a while. Please."

"You need to talk to him Fitz." Lily said sternly whilst leaving the room.

It wasn't until after his mother had left the room that he noticed that the time was almost six am. He had been asleep for almost four hours and he was now going to be in the hospital for a second day.

The hospital room which Olivia had been placed in didn't have a second bed for Fitz to sleep in. Instead of trying to asleep in the uncomfortable chair again, he climbed up onto the bed. For Fitz, it was a strange feeling to not have Olivia respond to his touch, or to snuggle in closer when he laid next to her.

He turned his body so he could look at her properly. It was all so surreal. She looked pale and fragile, laying in a bed that seemed to swamp her, such a massive contrast to her usual strong and commanding demeanour.

"I hope Mum's right Livvie. I'm not sure if I can do this without you." After looking at her for a while he climbed out of the bed and sat back in the chair by her bedside.

"I'm sorry Livvie." He said with sadness in his eyes. After being next to her in the bed, Fitz thought it was just a little bit too odd for him to be lying beside her. There were too many tubes and wires connected to her for him to be able to move her or himself.

"Goodnight Livvie." Fitz said kissing her, before attempting to get comfortable in the chair. "I promise I'll tell O in the morning."

Fitz had drifted off to sleep again but was quickly and rudely awoken by someone shouting.

"No, stop! You shouldn't be here. You can't go in there."

"Get security!"

A/N

Soo... I hope you liked it. This is the first time I have tried to write anything. I would love to know what you think. Please tell me if you think it is completely hopeless. Okies that's it.