A low stucco ceiling hung over Natsu's head, stained by cigarette smoke, spider webs drooping from the corners. He'd seen ceilings like this before, in motels exactly like this one, and yet, he couldn't stop marvelling at it as though this was the first of its kind. There wasn't anything like this in Hell.

Light spilled across the floor. Lucy came out of the bathroom in nothing but a towel. She smelled of iron-rich water and cheap soap. The shadows of night hid most of her distress but Natsu could hear her sniffling. She'd been crying in the shower. He was surprised she'd kept it together long enough to shamble into town and get a room, honestly. She never used to try to bottle her emotions up or hide them behind closed doors.

Natsu moved over for her on the bed. She looked at him and her eyes glowed brightly. Another wave of tears. She swallowed them down, throat bobbing, and shuffled over. Her waddle had gotten more pronounced in the last few hours they'd been in the human realm, like all the time she'd spent in Hell was catching up with her.

She dropped the towel on the floor and dust bunnies fled. Her skin glowed in the darkness. She had her celestial keys around her throat. She'd transferred them to her necklace shortly after arriving from Hell as if she couldn't bear the thought of being apart from them. His key kicked around at the end, darker and more sinister-looking than the rest.

Lucy caught him looking and clutched her keys as if to shield them from him. It was strange, he felt her hand around his key like he would feel it around his arm. Her touch was warm and soft. Being connected to her like this was like nothing he'd ever experienced before.

"Lie down."

Lucy pulled back the covers and got in. Natsu slid his hand through her damp hair and didn't scratch her. His claws were gone; his scales only an outline on his skin, like a tattoo. He knew with a thought they'd come back. This newfound control was all Lucy's doing, he'd bet. He manifested as she wanted him to, not quite beast, not quite man.

Lucy curved into his touch like a flower toward sunlight. Her hand closed over his before he could pull away and trapped him there, the tips of his fingers in her hair, his thumb brushing the bottom of her lip. She didn't feel real. None of this felt real. He thought she was gone forever. He thought he was doomed to a life of torment. He couldn't figure out what he did to deserve this. But then the memory of Loke's sacrifice paraded all over the warm glow that was trying to blossom and he remembered to be contrite.

"How are you feeling?" asked Lucy.

"I should be asking you that." And he hadn't. Loke probably would have. He vowed to do better. To be all things to her, so Loke's sacrifice wasn't in vain. "Are you okay?"

Lucy's smile was wobbly. "I'm sad. And I'm happy. And I don't understand how I can be consumed by both."

He didn't, either. Deep exploration of complex emotion had never been his forte. He just knew he wanted her to be happy. And if she couldn't be happy, at least be at peace. "Loke's okay." He felt it. When Natsu had died and gone to Hell, he'd connected to it in a way he couldn't understand, and he knew that Loke wasn't available to Lucy anymore, but he was in Hell, living, and he at least was satisfied with his decision. Some would tell her she was lucky to be loved so deeply. Natsu would never be one of those people, though. Lucy would think it a curse.

Lucy wiped at her cheeks with the backs of her palms. Her breath quavered. She swallowed another wave of tears. "He'll be okay, right?"

As okay as anyone was in Hell, Natsu imagined. "He wanted to be there. He'll fight."

Lucy smiled bigger like if she moved her mouth more, it might reach her eyes. "He was getting tired of all the boring safe days he spent with me."

Natsu brushed her hair back again. "When I go back, I'll make sure he's okay."

Her mouth went flat. "When are you going back?"

"Not until you say so." Her hair was corn silk tickling his palm. He loved the feel of her.

"But you'll come back, right? When I call you?"

"You know how the magic works," he reminded her gently. "I'll be there whenever you need me, for long as you need me." Before the baby came and after.

Lucy's muscles loosened. "Yes. I know. I'm sorry. I don't know why I feel this way."

Because she kept having those she loved ripped away from her. Natsu wished he could make it so she never lost anyone again but he knew he couldn't stop the passage of time. Lucy needed to heal her wounds and she needed to come to terms with her situation. She could not have everything. She needed to accept her sacrifice.

"Come under the covers?" Lucy asked.

Natsu stood and took off his tattered clothing. Everything was ruined. In the morning when Lucy was stronger, he'd encourage her to summon Virgo and he'd beg some clothing from her. Then they'd travel back to Magnolia and Natsu would grit his teeth through long-winded explanations and tears he didn't feel very patient toward. But for now, he'd enjoy the feeling of his skin against Lucy's.

She moved closer, putting her back to his chest, and he wrapped his arms around her. Lucy sighed. He felt her gratification move through him and liked that he'd pleased her. He couldn't tell if it was the magic binding them together now or if he actually felt that way, though. He also wasn't really sure if it mattered.

He kissed her neck and her shoulder and her lips when she leaned back into him, and then the rest of her body because he'd almost forgotten how good it was to have her like this. Between her thighs and between her breasts and back to her lips again.

Lucy trapped his face between her palms before he could pull away from her. "I love you."

The Queen of Bone's handmaidens had said those words to him a hundred times wearing Lucy's face, but their words lacked the ability to wriggle deep inside him and gain purchase, to fortify him, like the roots of a tree. They lacked the ability to make him feel human.

"I love you, too."

He had her on her side and pressed his hand to the base of her throat to feel her sighs, and when he finished, he closed his eyes. For the first time in months, he rested, and he didn't dream.

Loke dipped the tips of his fingers in the River of Forgetting, trying to tempt the Gleaner into tormenting him with the tragedies of his old life. There was a lot of nothing in Hell, a lot of time to think and grieve. A lot of empty spaces and empty promises by a handmaiden he thought could be like the girl he abandoned. He wanted desperately to compare her memory to what he had now.

"She won't show you," came a familiar rasp. Loke looked up from the River of Forgetting. Zeref stood on the opposite shore, hands loose at his side, thick with blood from fingertip to elbow. Loke felt relief swell up inside him. Zeref hadn't abandoned him completely. The feeling was tempered, though.

"It's her job to torment souls with her memories."

"It's her job to torment. Are you not tormented?"

He was.

"She will not show you," Zeref said again.

Loke sighed and sat back on his bottom, gazing in the River of Forgetting, hoping Zeref was wrong but knowing he spoke the truth.

"I can't give you Lucy," Zeref said after a time. "I can give you distraction, though."

Loke looked up through his messy sheaf of hair. "How?"

"War."

War. Even though Zeref wore a crown of bone, there were still factions of Hell that would not bow to him. Loke had heard the whispers. And Zeref would tear Hell apart under the guise of quashing them because even in death, he couldn't stop killing. Like Loke, he was built for battle.

His handmaiden moved behind an outcropping of brimstone, waiting for him, always. When she stepped into the light Loke carried with him, she was flesh and golden locks, sweet smelling, with a kind smile and a soft disposition. In the shadows, she was bone and horror. He found himself closing his eyes when the light went out and didn't want to.

He would take Zeref's offer of distraction, then. "Where do we begin?"

The end.

Almost a year and a half project, come to a close. Thanks for reading. Hopefully you liked it, even just a little bit. I'm on pat reon if you want more stories. You can even request your own, that's fun, isn't it? Can't really do ff, though. If you're interested, it's Kaitlin Corvus. On Twitter, too.

I'll miss you all like a torn out front tooth.

It's been a slice. Au revoir.