Crazy trouble with love part 4

Female Alexander and Waver

Series: Fate Stay

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In a dark building we find a young man getting ready for an occult practice of utmost importance.

"I'm gonna do it. I'm really gonna do it." he muttered as he moved stuff around to make sure nothing got in the way of the circle and symbols on the floor. In the center was a ancient mantel that was of late greek/pre-alexandria descent. "I'm going to summon the king of conquerors."

After making sure it was all in place, he held a knife near his hand and gulped before slowly making a cut on his fingers and held them over the mantle. Then he started the summoning as the circle began to glow brightly and started to grow in intensity. He stepped back and watched while praying it would work.

The light died down while smoke formed around it. From out of the shadows came a very tall woman with long red hair, red eyes, wearing an ancient brown and red set of greek armor with a long cape down her back, some fur around her neck and wrists, a pair of sandals, and a small ass but huge F cup chest. Her eyes were that of conviction and confidence rarely seen in the world and the aura around her felt like the world was being tamed by her presence. "I ask you, are you my master?"

The man was silent before clearing his throat and stood up as tall as he could. "Yes, I'm the one who summoned you."

"...you? A runt like you?" She said with a chuckle. "How funny, but seriously who is my master?"

He frowned and pointed to himself. "It's true! I'm the one who summoned you to this world!"

"Oh?" She laughed. "Then the world is in trouble if mages are become weak and scrawny." 'What next? A nation with no king?'

He blushed in embarrassment and pointed at her. "Hey! Learn to show me respect! I brought you here and with my command seals I can tell you what to do!"

She glared at him. "Oh? So you do have a backbone? Well," she pulled him into a hug. "Then we got nothing to worry about right ha ha ha!"

The male groaned and felt her squeeze him tight while he squirmed around feeling the air leave him.

"Now that I, Alexander III of Macedonia, ruler of Macedonia, pharaoh of Egypt, king of the vast expanses of the Achaemenid Empire, and ruler of all the known world, shall conquer this land all the way to the sea itself!" she declared letting go of him while he stepped back and took a moment to catch his breath. "And you shall help...um what is your name exactly?"

"Waver...Velvet." He gasped out.

"Waver." She grinned. "Shall be my translator and guide to this strange land."

He frowned and shook his head. "Listen, I'm the master and you're the servant. And I'm no one's translator."

She blinked. "Then what good is that? Without a translator I wouldn't have been able to conquer the known world. Even my teacher Aristotle knew that." 'Bless his soul.'

"I mean we're talking fine right now so translating stuff is pointless." he replied shaking his head. "Do you ever think?"

"I do, but do you?" She raised an eyebrow. "I mean do you even think about anything besides being in control? I mean you kind of look like my father...and trust me, he was a bad king."

Waver groaned before sitting on a nearby chair. "Look, the point is you're here for a reason, and that's to win the Holy Grail War."

"A grail? You want to win a grail?" She facepalmed. "If you wanted a drink go to the tavern or get someone to make you some damn wine!"

"It's not some normal grail!" he snapped with his eye twitching. "It's the thing that brought you here and can grant me any wish if I win."

She looked at Waver with interest. "Really? So this simple grail can grant any wish?" 'That might prove an effective way to conquer the world, but how does one get it?'

"Yes, and once I get it I'll become the most powerful magi." he smirked. "Of course I was already great enough to summon you, I just mean even more powerful."

Bonk!

"Ow!"

"Quit being full of yourself, it gets you nowhere and makes you look weaker then you should be." Rider frowned. "While I can make such a claim, I have the strength and achievement to pull it off."

He rubbed his spot and glared at her before holding his arm out with the seal glowing. "I order you to show me respect!"

Her command seal glowed as she gained a light red in her eyes. "Ok master." 'What the hades?!'

"Much better." he smirked crossing his arms. "Now it's time we start working on a plan to win this war. You might be a woman, but that doesn't mean your accomplishments are for nothing. Even if we ran into a servant, we'd probably beat them hands down. As long as you can stay serious."

She rolled her eyes. "Fine, but I suggest a feast to regain your strength. Especially with the amount of blood you lost."

"Huh?" he looked at his hand to see it still bleeding and cried out in horror. "Ahh! I completely forgot!"

'Fool.' She said while picking him up. "Let's go master."

"W-What are you doing?" he blushed as she carried him out of the room.

"To get you to a healer." She said as if it was obvious. "It wouldn't be good if a person like you died of blood loss. An unhonorable death is frowned upon by many you know."

"I don't need a doctor." he frowned getting out of her grip and walked to where he kept the first aid. "I just need to cover it up and get some water in me."

Rider shook her head at that. "I'm no healer but I do suggest you try and rest up. It helps with the blood clotting."

"I said I'm fine." he was getting annoyed while grazing his fingers up before going to the kitchen to get himself some water. 'Is she really Alexander or a doting mother?!'

Rider just watched while looking around in interest. 'This house is quite nice, but what are some of these strange objects?' She opened a freezer and shivered. "Master? Did you by chance capture a frost nymph and confined it to this strange square item?"

"What?" he looked at her and the fridge and shook his head. "That's just the refrigerator."

"Refrigerator? What in Zeus' penis is that?"

He sighed. "It's something that keeps things frozen."

"...are you sure it's not a nymph?"

"I'm sure."

"Then it's a marvel worthy of my teacher!" She said with wide eyes while pulling out a ice pop. "And what is this master? A frozen piece of nectar from Mount Olympus?!"

"No, that's a popsicle."

"A what?"

"A frozen piece of milk."

She blinked before taking a bite. "This is…..MARVELOUS!"

'It's just vanilla.' he thought before seeing her bite into more of it before she cried out and grabbed her head.

"GAH!" She screamed. "IT HURTS!" 'Damn this frozen nectar! I'll conquer you yet!'

(Time skip a few days)

"Stop playing that stupid game!"

"Sorry master." She smirked while playing Admirable Great Tactics IV: The Melancholy of Dr. Porsche for the PS2. "But this conquest against the Allies must be bested for world conquest!" 'Get them you solders! Get them with your armored ships!'

"But it's been ten hours!"

"All the more to beat this conquest!" she laughed with joy. "Now Waver, join me in this 'co-op' mode and join me in glorious battle!"

"We need to focus more on an actually useful fight!"

She paused the game and looked at him. "Learn to relax and be in a calm state of mind."

"I am calm." he replied annoyed.

"Then have some fun with me."

"I can't because we need to be on guard for any servants that want to fight us!"

Rider sighed. "Don't worry. If it does happen I'm sure I can beat them in combat. Especially after leaving some pit traps around the area." 'Along with other traps at certain designated areas around a two to four mile radius.'

"What?!" he cried out. "Someone could get caught in them by accident!"

"So? This is a war you know master."

He opened his mouth to speak but closed it and groaned. "Fine, but if some old ladies get caught then it's on your head."

She nodded before going back to her game. 'Good thing I also put a few No trespassing signs around the house as well. That will help in the long run.'

'Why do I even have a crazy Servant like her anyway?'

"Master?" She said while pausing the game again. "Why did you become a magi again?"

"I keep telling you."

"Yeah to become strong. But one also needs one thing to be strong."

"Like what?"

"Confidence in oneself." She said while turning off the game and getting up. "I'm going to take a look out, I'll be back soon master."

"Fine." He said while grumbling a little.

"Oh and master, the strange machine with the spinning water is done. Just wanted to remind you." She said before walking away.

'What's she talking about?' He thought before remembering something. 'Is she...oh shit! The washing machine!'

(In basement)

The machine was soggy and full of bubbles as it spilled out of the machine and started flooding the basement.

Waver ran down and saw it before rushing over, only to slip on the water and fall on his face. "Ow!"

The machine then short circuited as more water poured out and sent a wave of H2O at Waver as he was sent out of the room and into the living room with a sock in his mouth.

He coughed it out of himself and hit his chest since some of the water got in. 'Damn it Rider! I'll get you for that!'

(Two days later)

"That Berserker was nothing compared to me." Rider laughed while riding her Gordius Wheel back from battle with Waver next to her. "Now that Saber girl, she was strong. But not strong as me that is ha ha ha!"

"Focus! We were in a battle and you're acting like we just got back from a party."

"Well we were victorious master." She grinned. "And that counts as a party to me."

"Focus!"

She laughed as they made it back to the house. "Let's party until dawn master! I'll cook!"

He blinked at that. "You can cook?"

"Of course. What woman can't?"

'Right ancient times logic.' he thought as they walked in and she headed to the kitchen. "Wait! Do you know how to work the stove?"

She turned to him. "Yes, I watch you cook remember? So really I know how to cook."

'Not really!' he thought paling. "Um, maybe I should keep an eye on you."

"Really? You want to watch me cook? Ha!" She laughed while patting his back hard. "You're too kind master. Worrying about my well being."

'More like mine.'

"Come, I'll make some of that 'ramen' you are so fond of." She smiled while dragging Waver inside the kitchen.

'Well that doesn't sound so bad.'

(One cooking process later)

"And now your meal master." Rider smiled while handing him a perfectly cooked ramen bowl while behind her was a messy and nearly destroyed kitchen. "Enjoy your victory meal."

'I'm my worst enemy.' Waver thought with dread. He grabbed the chopsticks and started slurping some of the noodles up. "Wow, this is actually good."

Rider smiled at that. "Thank you master, I used everything in the fridge to make it."

He stopped and blinked. "Wait….everything?"

"Yep, everything. Even the 'rice' flavored noodles mixed with bacon. That was the most delicious part if you ask me master."

'Huh, she's got me there.' He thought while taking another slurp of the ramen.

"Oh and I used cooked cow liver. It was almost bad on the strange label on the back of the product but hey, me and my troops ate worst during my glorious campaigns."

He felt a little sick at that. "Um anything...else you added Rider?"

"Just some fish, eels, carrots and this odd thing called beer. Kind of smells like wine but too repugnant for my tastes."

His eyes widened before he dropped the chopsticks and swayed a little. "Damn it…."

"Master?" She said while looking at Waver. "Are you ok?"

'Now I see five Riders! This is...ugh…' he thought trying to brace himself with the table.

"Master?!" She said in concern while holding his shoulder. 'Crap, did that brothel make him sick? Was it the extra bacon?!' "Master? Tell me what's wrong!"

"Rider…"

"Yes? Speak up master!"

"You used….alcohol…" he said before fainting onto her chest.

"What? Master? Master...master wake up!"

(Next day)

Waver groaned and started to slowly open his eyes. "Ugh...what hit me?"

"Zzzz." Snored a familiar figure right next to him.

He turned and gasped as he saw Rider, now in a large white shirt and some shorts, no bra, sleeping next to him while holding his head next to her. 'W-W-W-W-What is she doing?!'

"Mmm….conquest…" she muttered in her sleep. "Against...the...people of the east…."

'Must the thinking about her last campaign in India.' He thought while trying to find a way out of this position.

"Master….conquer...the mounds...zzzz."

'Mounds? Mounds of sand?'

"Conquer the wet plains of pink…." she moaned. "Make sure...the red gates are besieged...zzzz."

'Maybe I'll just let her sleep.' He thought with a light blush before being hugged. 'This might take a while.'

(Three days later)

"So master." Rider said while eating an ice pop. "Have you ever been wooed by a man or woman?"

"Um, no." he replied with a raised eyebrow. "And I'm not gay."

She shrugged. "Wanted to know because you kind of look like a fair maiden with that body of yours." She got a brainfreeze. "Gah!" 'I'll conquer you yet brainfreeze! This I swear!'

"Was that an insult?"

"No no. Believe me, you look fine in whatever gender or appearance you are in master."

'And yet I feel offended.' He thought before seeing something odd. "Um Rider?"

"Yes?"

"You have a wasp on you."

She looked at it before swatting at it and killing it. "It's gone, but I think you need to get rid of the nest."

Bzzz!

Both turned and saw a swarm of wasps flying out of a hole in the wall.

Bzz!

Bzz!

Bzz!

"AHHHHH!"

"Don't worry master!" Rider said while taking her sword out. "I'll conquer this insect army!"

(Two seconds later)

"Ma." Spoke Rider while her face was swollen. "Et es bon mastor."

"What?"

"Et es bon mastor." she said annoyed. "Conquets ie compelta."

He sweatdropped. "Maybe I should get some ice." He then got some ice and put some on her face.

Rider sighed while the swelling started to fade. "Thanks master, needed that."

"Next time try writing it down."

"Oh and can you read ancient Greek?" She teased knowing he couldn't. "Never knew you cared about such things before. I kind of feel flattered haha!"

He groaned with a light blush. 'Damn her for bringing that up!'

Rider chuckled before recalling something. "You know master, we do have to face that Archer person soon."

"I know." he sighed sitting down. "Which is why I keep telling you we need to always be ready."

"Then I say we do something...unorthodox."

"And that would be?"

"Make a three sided assault." she said with a frown. "We make one servant attack said person while we wait for them to tire. Then we strike them down while they are weak, an honorable tactic yes but a necessary one to win this war."

"I doubt that's gonna be easy."

"It won't. But what other choice is there?" She said looking at Waver. "All other ideas and tactics will either lead to my death or yours. Something I'd rather not bring about."

Waver blinked at that. "What do you mean 'lead to my death or yours'?"

She looked away. "Let's just say I have a premonition that soon we might part ways."

"You make it sound like we'll lose."

"It's just a feeling." She sighed. "But one that will shake the cornerstone of history. Master if I might ask, what would happen if I'm gone. What would you do?"

He looked at her and looked at the ground with his hands together. "I….I'm not sure really. I just figured we'd win easily, I make my wish, but….I never thought about what would happen if we lost."

Rider sighed while getting up. "Well to tell you the truth. I feel the same." She looked to the window. "After learning so much about the world I found out that there are as many countries as stars in the sky. One where even I can't conquer in a lifetime. But," she turned to him with a grin. "Being with you master was what I needed. A small piece of Olympus on this earth to call…" she blushed. "Home."

He looked at her in shock and blushed before looking away. "D-Don't go saying stuff like that. Until the end we're just gonna have to fight with everything we got."

"Is that your command?"

"Y-Yes."

Her command seal activated. "Alright then, I'll just have to fight harder for you Wa- I mean master." 'Almost let that one slip.'

He nodded while keeping his eyes averted. 'She'll win for sure, I know she will.'

(A few days later)

"I must commend you king of conquerors." Spoke Archer while holding Ea as it pierced Rider's chest. "You are a worthy opponent for a king such as I."

She gasped while the chains around her loosened and blood started to form around her mouth.

"RIDER!" cried out Waver with wide eyes as Ea was removed and she dropped to her knees.

"Have a noble death." Archer said before walking away. 'Now to find Saber and prove I'm the true king of this world.'

'Damn it...I should have seen...it.' She thought while blood fell from her wound.

Waver ran over and looked at the wound with horror. "Rider? Rider please stay with me! We can fix you up, just hold on!"

"Master...this kind of...wound can't be...fixed." She said while looking at Waver. "It's not...possible."

"Don't say that you idiot!" he cried out with tears coming up. "It's a small injury and it can be healed, just hang on and I'll get you fixed up."

Rider moved a hand to his cheek. "Master...before I head to hades I...I want to say something I should have said...a long time ago…." she coughed up some blood. "I….I…."

"Yes? What is it?" he asked while putting a hand on her own.

"I…" she said while her legs started to fade. "I...love you...Waver…."

His eyes widened while her torso started to fade and was speechless.

"Waver...live long and...happy…" she smiled before completing fading into mist, leaving nothing but a small red cloth from her cape.

"Rider! Rider!" he cried out as he gripped the cloth and felt tears run down his cheeks. "Rider….you can't be gone." he closed his eyes and threw his head back. "RIDER!"

A tragic loss of life, a conqueror that lost, a magi in love. This is the outcome for one story...and the beginning of another.

(A few years later)

Waver, now Lord El-Melloi II, looked from his book and sighed. 'All the power and respect in the world, but….no one to share it with.'

He put the book he was reading down and opened his desk drawer where the same red cloth was resting.

'Rider.' He thought while a lone tear went down his cheek. 'I miss you.'

As he was about to close it, he didn't notice that his thumb had a small splinter on it which drew blood and landed on the cloth. He noticed the cloth start to glow and went wide eyed while standing up.

The table exploded into splinters as the dust began to settle.

"That hurts like Poseidon in a bathtub." Groaned a familiar voice as the dust settled. "Huh? Waver...is that you?"

His eyes widened even more as he saw Rider standing next to him with some splinters in her hair. "R...Rider? Is that really you?"

She looked at him. "Huh? You look stronger than before but," she smirked before rubbing his head. "You are still a girly girl to me ha ha ha!"

He frowned and slapped her hand away. "Stop that you idiot!"

"I'm no idiot." She frowned before smiling. "I'm a conqueror."

"That doesn't explain how you got here. The holy grail war is over."

She blinked at that. "Huh? Is that so?"

"Yes."

She grinned. "That means that somewhere out there my wish came true."

"What wish?"

She blushed. "To...To return to you...Waver."

That made him blush while remembering her confession and coughed to clear his throat. "Well...I'm not going to say it's not great to see you after all this time."

"Then don't." She teased. "After all you were so cute when I was dying."

He blushed more while Rider moved over and hugged him.

"And you're still cute even now Waver." She smiled before kissing his lips.

His eyes felt like they were gonna fall out from shock as his face resembled a tomato.

Rider moved back and grinned. "Looks like I conquered your heart Waver~"

"S-S-Shut up!"

She laughed at that before kissing him again as the screen turned black.