A/N: I LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE!

And ouch, the latest chapter of "Not Looking Back" bombed...T_T

Long story short, I'm really sick and working two jobs, which has led to a decrease in my writing time. Somehow, I've still been able to update daily for the time being, but that's going to change pretty soon; to the point that I might have to fall back on weekly or monthly updates as opposed to cranking out a new chapter for something every day. Its a sacrifice, I know, but I want to keep the quality coming, as opposed to quantity.

And yes, A Most Unlikely Berserker is coming. Nearly seven thousand words on that front, but I want it to be longer, if only because you all deserve a nice long chapter as opposed to the short little interludes I've been cranking out as of late.

But enough about me and my woes, you all came here to read a story, not listen to an author whine and whinge about their health. So here's an interlude while I recover and HACK MY LUNGS OUT.

Minor spanish cursing here and there, because Sombra.

As ever, I own no quotes, references or anything.

Once again, the "Not Going Home" series as a whole isn't meant to be taken too seriously; its just a silly, zany story meant to make you smile and brighten your day. Do recall that Naruto's gathered quite a few allies during his adventures by now; allies that Sombra's hacking is all but useless against. In short?

Run Sombra, ruuuuuun~!

Sorry that it's short~!

Hope you enjoy~!

"Where would the world be without the internet? Without electricity?"

"Now I know what you're thinking, so don't-

"Lets find out."

~?

The Floor Is Lava (Interlude)

Sombra knew a raw deal when she saw one.

She also knew when to turn tail and get the hell out.

This? This was beginning to look like one of those situations.

Having been in her fair share of scrapes-not all of them good-she was no stranger to gunfights and the madness they brought; if anything, she thrived on them. Chaos created distractions, and distractions were good for business. Some of her finest hacking had been done under pressure. For an opportunist such as herself, as a thief and a hacker, there could be nothing sweeter. If there were secrets to be found she would find them, come hell or high water. Everything could be hacked, everyone...

...until they couldn't.

"Madre de dios!"

Vaulting a crumbling ledge the harassed hacker flung herself forward just as her brief handhold-and much of the corridor-dissolved into malicious magma only inches behind her. Living magma. A stray goblet of the seething substance brushed the edge of her coat as she flung herself forward, momentarily causing the startling hacker to flail in place and tear the burning fabric free from her shoulders. Without missing a beat she turned and launched herself down the next branching corridor she found, bounding beneath a rapidly descending sheet of metal before it closed.

The harsh clang of closed metal informed her of the near miss and for the briefest of moments, she collapsed against it, breathing heavily.

She almost thought she was safe.

Almost.

"Better keep running criminal scum!" a faux-cheerful voice chimed from the darkened ceiling-and the speakers no doubt hidden within-just over her head. "Akainu's not known for mercy and he'll be through that door any minute now! You're almost there-

"Screw you bastaaaaaaaaaaaard!"

In a fit of pique she hacked the speakers with a squeal of static.

Somehow that only made her headache worse.

Sure enough, she could already feel a familiar heat blooming against her back as her pursuer burned through the metal grate. Knowing she wouldn't be able to fight her pursuer, she was left with no choice but to suck in a quick breath and flee yet again, to race away deeper into this neverending maze of darkened halls and shadowy corridors. An endless series of halls ending in traps or other less-than-pleasant surprises, each harrying her without end. She had yet to shake her latest adversary.

How was she supposed to fight something like this?!

A man made of magma?!

Seriously?!

It shouldn't been simple; get in, get Widow, and get out. Reaper would be the distraction, allowing her to infiltrate the premises. She should've known better when the latter went silent. Still she'd forged on in the hopes of finding answers-if not Widow herself-only to find herself caught in a trap of her own making. Flailing, she snagged a translocator from her belt only for the device to shatter before she could throw it.

"No, no, no," the soft voice crooned anew from overhead, "We can't have you running away now, can we? But I think you've suffered enough."

The ground plunged away from Sombra all at once, followed by a short, stomach-wrenching drop.

Sputtering in surprise the hacker reached for a handhold in the dark.

Instead she found herself face to face with something out of a madman's mind.

Rather than the shadowy cell she'd expected she found herself flummoxed. In place of the darkness she'd expected or some menacing lair, she realized she had abandoned the maze entirely for..

...a kitchen?

"Aha!" familiar laughter crooned. "And here you are at last!"

Seated at the head of a round table and framed by waning sunlight, her captor greeted her. Blue eyes framed by whiskered cheeks and a mangled mop of blond hair gazed back at her, serene in their confidence. Absently she noted the red horns jutting from his head as much as the flowing blue robes concealing any potential weapons on his body. Well. The horns were new. It almost made her curious. Unfortunately that curiosity was overshadowed by all this unyielding rage!

"Did you enjoy my game?" the stranger asked, beaming at her. "I think it takes the whole, "the floor is lava" to a whole new level, don't you?"

"You!" Sombra's gun rose in one smooth movement, "Where the hell is she?!"

"Hmm? You mean Amelie? You can have her back, if you like." a clawed hand shooed the woman in question forward from behind his back seemingly from thin air itself. "My work here is done...for now. Enjoy the consequences! I'll be seeing you lot later!"

"Oh, no you don't!" she snarled! "I don't even know your-

Gloved fingers collided in a sharp snap.

The hacker winced.

Winced as light flooded the room-her very being-and burned the darkness away at its core. In her frazzled state she didn't realize what was happening until it was far too late. Shadow and flame crumbled from her vision with the building itself, yet still she couldn't bring herself to understand what she was looking at. Not yet. Even as her vision cleared to reveal a vacant lot, she found herself left with more questions than answers. What had he said just now? Something about consequences?

"Ohohoho that did not sound good...

She was not prepared for what she found in his place.

...what the actual hell."

Like a thunderbolt from on high, so too did the light descend.

...que?"

"People of Earth! This is a challenge to you from yours truly," the hologram boomed, towering over what she now realized to be none other than King's Row itself. "I'm throwing down the gauntlet! Overwatch! Talon! You have one week to kill me! If you don't, kiss your planet GOODBYE! Oh, and just to make things absolutely clear and prove I'm not bluffing...

With a shuddering sputter, the lights went out, the entire city going black with a rattling wheeze.

Sombra swore silently as she stared up at where the towering projection had been.

"Um...araña? What he is doing?"

Amelie tilted her head, quietly considering.

"Hmm. I'm not sure. I believe he just broke the world. And the internet."

The bloodcurdling shriek that followed threatened to deafen the former assassin completely.

"Fix it, fix it, FIX IT!"

A/N: ...Sombra was not prepared.

Wanted to go a more lighthearted tone with this interlude. Hope you don't mind. Now, I'm going to drag myself to work...gotta pay the bills and keep the lights on somehow. I can't afford to be sick right now. Looking forward to reading your reviews when I get back! I really do enjoying hearing from you guys!

So in the Immortal Words of Atlas...

...Review Would You Kindly?

And enjoy the previews!

Potential ones at that.

(Previews)

"You can die all you like...you'll just respawn. Better luck next time!

"What kind of game is this?!"

"MINE."

"Now that's a suit of armor! Can I have it?"

Reinhardt blinked.

...what?"

"Onward! For the ramen!"

;3