Howdy guys! SO SO SO SO SO SO SO sorry this is so late, the last month has been absolutely crazy, and this chapter ended up causing me more trouble than I thought is would. But I'm out of school, and summer is in full swing, so hopefully I'll be getting back on track.

This one's juicy, I hope y'all enjoy it. :)

"Rach, wake up." Nate gently shook her shoulder to rouse her. After coming back on the Dropship, she had quickly fallen asleep while watching over Jasper, so tired that his constant moans didn't even faze her.

She blinked several times, pushing his hand away, "I'm up." She looked around the room, to Jasper, who still lay unresponsive in the center of the room, and to Monty, who still sat next to him, tinkering with Octavia's wristband. Everyone else was gone. "What's happening?"

"Wells thinks he knows what kind of plant the Grounders used to make that poultice thing. Some kind of seaweed…I don't know." He stood, then helped Rachel up too. "I'm going with him, Clarke, and Finn to try and find it."

Eyes wide in surprise, Rachel stared at him, "Why?"

He shrugged, digging his hands into his pockets. "Look, you know I don't like her, but Jasper needs Clarke. And if they run into anything out there, they'll need someone to take care of it. You really think Wells or Finn could take on a Grounder?"

"Could you?" While she understood where he was coming from, Rachel was still worried about what he was setting out to do. "They hit Jasper with a spear from 100 yards away. All you have is a knife."

"They have a better chance with me than without me." Nate held her stare, his jaw set. She could tell he was determined to do this, and nothing she could say would talk him out of it, but he wanted her on his side.

She nodded, "Fine. But don't do anything especially reckless or stupid." He smiled, and gave her a quick hug and ruffled her curls before leaving. When he had climbed down the ladder and closed the hatch, she wrapped her coat tighter around her and sat down next to Monty. "Any progress?"

He paused, and turned to face her, brows furrowed in confusion. "I thought you were on team 'don't contact the Ark' with Bellamy."

Rachel felt a shard of anger start to spread in her chest, not towards Monty, but Bellamy. "I don't think I can be on any 'team' that wants to kill my friend."

Monty nodded grimly, and silence fell over them. The only sounds were Jasper's moans and the quiet scraping of tree branches against the roof of the Dropship.

"Do you really think he'll kill Jasper?" Monty's voice was quiet, and thick with the effort it took not to cry again. Rachel searched, but couldn't find an answer. For all she had thought she believed in Bellamy, she truly didn't know whether or not he'd actually deliver on his promise. So instead of responding to him, Rachel comforted Monty in the only way she could think of. She scooted closer to him, wrapped her arms around his shoulders, and hugged him to her.

After a long moment, he finally hugged her back.

Bellamy spotted her coming out of the Dropship as he was coming back from teaching some of his guys how to throw a knife, something he had learned from some of the older guards while he was a cadet. He knew she had seen him too, but she was pointedly avoiding meeting his gaze. He wasn't even sure if he wanted to go talk to her. But he was sure that after what he had said he'd do to Jasper, she definitely wouldn't want to talk to him.

But what he had realized last night– that feeling he was finally able to put a name on tugged on something within him and pulled him towards her. Without even realizing it, his feet started carrying himself closer and closer to her.

When he was too near for her to ignore, Rachel at last turned her cold green eyes, like chips of ice, on him. His breath caught, not because of the harshness of her stare, but because of the striking beauty of it. He had to shake his head to refocus himself.

"What do you want?" Rachel crossed her arms and looked up at him. She was clever in how she positioned herself. To anyone looking on, her stance made her look like a willing follower. But this close, where he could clearly see her expression in her eyes, and the hard set of her mouth, it was clear to Bellamy that she was challenging him.

He'd lost her.

He swallowed, and lowered his voice. "How's Jasper doing?"

As soon as the words came out he knew they were a mistake. And to make things worse, Jasper chose that exact moment to let out a piercing scream. Rachel's full lips went completely taut, and she slowly tilted her head to one side. A predator sizing up her prey. Bellamy tried not to be distracted by the way her chestnut curls swayed at the movement.

"How do you think he's doing?" she spat, anger flaming in her eyes.

Bellamy bit his lip, and racked his brain to think of a way to respond that wouldn't hurt her, or cause her to hurt him, as he had no doubt she would, and could do. Finally, he glanced down at her through the hair that now nearly fell in his eyes, and asked what he was really thinking "How are you doing?"

He had said the right thing. After a moment, her tight expression softened, and the hard ice in her eyes melted, but to his horror, the melted into tears. She shook her head, and tried to blink the tears away, frustrated that he had so easily gotten to her. "Like I said yesterday, one of my best friends is dying up there," her voice cracked, and Bellamy had to fight the urge to somehow comfort her with touch, "and all I can do is wait for Clarke to get back and pray that Wells found the right thing, and hope that the guy I put my trust in doesn't murder him." Bellamy flinched a little at that. He needed to find a way to explain himself, but she kept talking. "I feel…I feel helpless." She dropped her arms, and her hands formed tight fists.

Those fists sparked an idea in Bellamy. It wouldn't offer him a chance to ease his own guilt by what happened last night, but it would help her get her mind off it. He looked towards the gates, to where his guys were waiting for him. He nodded, a signal that he'd be joining them in a moment, and turned back to Rachel. "Where'd you put the knife I gave you?"

She studied him for a moment, then cautiously pulled the small scrap of metal from her coat pocket. "Why do I need it?"

He smiled, a large, open smile that he prayed she would return. "Because you need to kill something right now, so we're going hunting."

Bellamy honestly thought that the smile she gave him then was one of the most beautiful things he'd ever seen.

The hunting party was larger than Rachel would have liked, more than three or four made too much noise, but Bellamy had hastily explained that he was focusing more on teaching the guys to hunt rather than actually being efficient. Because of this, Rachel didn't feel obligated to focus too hard on the task at hand. Instead, she focused on trying to make a mental map of the land surrounding their camp.

They were fortunate, even if the Dropship had missed its target, that they had landed in a relatively safe spot. Harper's design for the wall enclosed the camp around the crown of the small hill they had landed on, and deep dried up streambeds provided the only easy way in or out. If the Grounders wanted to get to them, they'd have a hard time doing it.

Rachel also spent a significant amount of her time wondering why she kept spotting Bellamy glancing back at her. He always looked away as soon as she met his gaze, but a few minutes later, she caught him doing it again. But when they finally found tracks to follow, she forgot all about his strange behavior.

They turned off the path they had been on, the one Rachel had helped mark a few days before to guide people to the river. The underbrush was thicker here, and it took almost all of Rachel's focus to keep her movements silent. To their credit, the other delinquents were quieter than she expected them to be, though they still made more noise than her.

When they at last spotted the boar, they all crouched down to let Bellamy take aim, and show them how to make the kill. From his place behind a large bush, he drew his hatchet from his belt, and weighed it in his hands. As he lined up his shot, he flicked his eyes over to Rachel, who had somehow found herself kneeling on the ground right next to him. He leaned towards her, and with a voice so low she could hardly hear it, whispered to her with a smile, "Watch this and tell me again that I'm just a 'pretty good shot."

Rachel had to stifle her giggle, but nodded, and looked expectantly at the boar just ahead of them. He smirked, and drew back his arm.

Something snapped behind them.

Bellamy stood immediately, pivoting and letting his weapon fly.

It sunk into a tree trunk mere inches from a young girl's head.

"Charlotte!" Rachel shot forward and yanked her away from the tree as if it the axe buried there could still hurt her. She ran her hand over the girl's head to make sure that she hadn't been struck. She was so wrapped up in her examination that she didn't notice Bellamy and Atom approach them as the others ran off after the boar.

Bellamy voice was tight as he spoke, "Who the hell is she? I almost killed her." his voice wavered, and he looked away to yank his axe out of the tree. Rachel turned to face him as he straightened, and saw that his eyes were wide, out of shock at what he had almost done, and overwhelming relief that his aim had been off.

Charlotte was on the verge of tears, and stepped back to press herself into Rachel. She placed her hands on the girl's shoulders, giving them a squeeze of reassurance. Rachel took a deep breath, willing her heart to slow down. "This is Charlotte, I've told you about her."

Bellamy nodded, not looking at her, but at the child in front of her, He took in every inch of her before finally bringing his gaze upwards again as Atom stepped forward. "Why is she here? She should be back at camp."

This hadn't even occurred to Rachel, she was too occupied with her relief that the child she and Nate had come to care about so much in the past week was alright. She stepped around the girl, and bent her knees to come face to face with her, "You followed us?" Charlotte nodded, and Rachel continued, "why? You know it's dangerous out here."

"You and Miller left, and with that guy who's dying…his moans— I just couldn't listen to it anymore." Charlotte finally recovered enough of her strength to face the two men in front of her as she spoke.

Bellamy looked to Rachel, his expression seeming to ask what they should do, but before she could answer, Atom spoke. "Still, there are Grounders out here. It's too dangerous for a little girl."

Charlotte's face scrunched up. "I'm not little." Rachel couldn't help but smile at the ferocity in her eyes as she sized up Atom. When she glanced at him again, she found Bellamy smiling too.

"Okay then," he said, reaching down to grab his own knife and hand it to the pre-teen, "but you can't hunt without a weapon." Charlotte's eyes grew wide as she took in the knife, then turned to Rachel as if to ask for permission. When she got a nod, she eagerly grabbed the weapon and held it in her hand as if it were a treasure.

Bellamy looked proudly down at her, "Ever killed something before?" Charlotte shook her head a little, and Bellamy shrugged "Well who knows? Maybe you're good at it." He flicked his eyes, full of glee, at Rachel before turning and stalking off to where the rest of the party had disappeared.

Rachel found herself smiling as she watched him. She took a moment to let the expression fade, then nudged Charlotte further into the woods. "Come on, we can't let the boys have all the fun."

After Charlotte joined the hunting party, Rachel mood significantly improved, so much so that she turned the hunting party into a competition between her and Bellamy, his initial task of teaching the delinquents quickly forgotten. Each took turns taking the first shot at whatever prey they found, the other waiting impatiently behind to take the second, should the first miss. Neither of them ever got to take the back-up shot.

Both spent the time in between prey doting on Charlotte. Bellamy quickly recovered from nearly having killed her, and instantly took the girl. He bragged to her about his achievements and commendations from his days as a cadet (after which Rachel was always quick to cut in with a not-so friendly reminder of his dishonorable discharge), and delighted in showing her all the tricks he could do with his various weapons.

It was during a period of this relaxation, once the sun was setting and the group was lazily making its way back towards the camp that the fog hit. Diggs, lagging behind the group in back was the first to notice it rolling towards them through the trees.

"Hey guys! Come check this out." he shouted, pointing at the incoming cloud of sickly yellow gas.

Rachel turned, but didn't approach, as she was the only one to notice that all the wildlife had disappeared. When Charlotte moved to get a closer look, she was held back by Rachel's firm hand, and kept from protesting by her shout, "What is it?"

"I don't know man." Diggs took another step towards the fog, only a few yards away from him now, "But it's kinda cool, don't ya think?"

The whole party watched as he reached out a hand to touch the fog, the swirling yellow clouds quickly enveloping his whole arm.

Then he screamed.

"It burns!" He yelped, pulling his hand back and tripping over himself trying to get free from the cloud. Bellamy shot forward, helping him stand and then dragging him away. When they reached the party, which had begun to slowly retreat away from the impending cloud, they noticed his hand.

It was completely red, covered in huge blisters, some of which had already burst and leaked blood and pus onto his hand. Bellamy looked up from the gruesome sight, and he met Rachel's terrified gaze.

"Run," he whispered.

They did. The whole hunting party took off sprinting away from the ever-approaching fog. Bellamy handed Diggs off to Mbege, and ran in front of Rachel and Charlotte, motioning for them to follow.

"Come on! There are caves this way!" he shouted as he leapt down a small ledge, turning around to grab Charlotte from Rachel to carry her down the ledge. The hunting party splintered and dashed into several of the caves that dotted the hillside. Bellamy slowed to usher Charlotte into the one at the hill's base, Rachel close behind him. He stopped at the cave mouth once Charlotte was inside, grabbing Rachel's shoulder as she too ran in. "Did everyone get safe?" he asked, already coughing from the fog.

"I don't know, I couldn't see all that far." She too started coughing, and pulled up the oversized lapel of her jacket to her mouth to filter the air.

Bellamy copied her idea, and moved to run out of the cave. Rachel's arm shot out to grab him before she could think. "Don't."

"I have to make sure they're safe."

"I was in the back. If I got here, they're safe too." She pulled him deeper inside the cave as she spoke. "Come on, we need to get as deep as we can." It took him a moment, but he finally followed her into the cave.

Neither of them had noticed Atom fall.

Rachel shivered inside her coat as she and Bellamy made their way further inside of it. They found Charlotte about twenty yards in, sitting on a small alcove and frowning.

"There's a hole in the roof down there, I'm worried the fog will get in." she said.

Bellamy and Rachel shared a look, and Bellamy continued further into the cave to check it out. After he left, Rachel sat next to Charlotte and draped her arm over her. She meant to say something to comfort the girl, but she found no words. Instead, she went over the memory of Diggs' hand in her mind, trying to figure out how fog could do that to a person.

She was pulled out of her thoughts when Bellamy returned. He sighed, and ran a hand through his hair as if trying to slick it back. A picture of what he had looked like on the dropship popped into Rachel's mind. Even just letting his hair down made him look younger, more approachable, more handsome. Rachel blinked that last thought away as he began to speak.

"There is a hole, and maybe another entrance to the cave, but there are vines covering it. Not much of…whatever that was is getting in, but we should stay here just in case." His gaze slid away from them; Rachel followed it, and realized he was looking at the spot in the alcove next to her. It was more than big enough for him to fit, but instead he settled against the wall opposite the two girls. The fact that he chose not to sit next to her bothered Rachel, but she couldn't pinpoint why. She decided to ignore the problem, it was definitely the least of their worries right now.

She settled more comfortably onto her stone seat, and faced Bellamy. "What was that? I don't remember hearing about anything like that in Earth Skills."

Bellamy continued running his hands through his hair, something about the movement made Rachel think that he was nervous, but she decided that it was due to the fog incident. He shrugged, "I have no clue. The burn on Diggs' hands…I think I've seen something like that before…" he trailed off, staring intently at the floor of the cave.

After several moments of his silence, it was Charlotte that asked what both girls were thinking. "Where?"

He shook his head and looked away, towards the back of the cave, casting his face in shadow. "After I…left the guard, I was reassigned to sanitation. I was a janitor." The last sentence was ground out, as if it pained him to say it. He still faced away from the others, refusing to make eye contact. Shame, Rachel realized. He was ashamed of how he "left" the guard, and what happened to him after. Suddenly her teasing earlier about his discharge weighed on her, and she felt a profound sense of guilt.

Bellamy continued, "One day, a few months into the job, I was sent down to Factory Station. There had been a spill of some chemical, I was supposed to clean it up. They sent me with special equipment. Heavy duty gloves, a special waste bin, instructions to not let whatever it was touch my skin. Whatever spilled, it was serious stuff.

"On my way there, I passed a med crew pushing a guy on a gurney away from Factory. They had cut his shirt off, and…" He stumbled, rubbing his hands together anxiously, the memory was obviously bothering him. Rachel felt a twinge in her chest, and had the sudden urge to go comfort him too.

He continued, "Half of his chest and arm was covered in the same type of— burn or rash, or, hell I don't know —that was on Diggs' hand. I cleaned it up, but all I ever learned about what spilled was that it was some type of acid. Maybe, somehow, that fog is acid too."

Rachel nodded, it made sense, kind of. She looked up from her lap, and saw that Bellamy was finally looking at her again. The desperate look on his face, as if he was searching for approval, pushed her to give it to him. "I guess it makes sense. If there can be acid rain, why not acid fog?" She tried to give him a reassuring smile, but he barely returned it.

The three settled into an uncomfortable silence. The only noise in the cave was the sound of Bellamy occasionally clicking his knife on the floor of the cave as he flipped in his hand. Charlotte simply rested her head on Rachel's shoulder. What seemed like hours of silence passed, and Rachel felt like she should speak, should say something, but she didn't know what.

So she let her mind wander back to what she had been distracting herself from all day: Jasper. She wondered if Nate and Clarke had found whatever it was Wells was looking for. She wondered if they had made it back to camp safely. She wondered if their plan would work. She wondered if Jasper had made it through the day. With no noise to distract her, the thoughts clanged around in her head as if someone were shouting them directly into her ears.

At last, Charlotte broke the deafening quiet. "I'm tired."

Rachel perked up, and stood from where she sat, just short enough to do so without bumping her head on the top of the little nook. "You can sleep here; we'll watch over you." Rachel made her promise without even looking at Bellamy, she just had the instinct that he would look after Charlotte with her. Even after his threat to Jasper the previous night, she couldn't deny that there was still some part of her, some basic, instinctual part, that trusted him implicitly.

She jumped a little when Bellamy was suddenly behind her, holding his stolen guard's jacket in a ball in one hand. "Here," he said, dropping the fabric into Charlotte's hands, "Use this as a pillow." The girl smiled as she took it, and placed in carefully on the stone before she rested her head on it and closed her eyes.

Rachel watched her for a while, hoping that the excitement of the day would tire the girl out enough to give her at least a little peaceful sleep before nightmares plagued her again. She didn't jump this time when Bellamy placed a hand gently on her shoulder, she just turned to him. He tipped his head towards where he had found the other entrance to the cave, and walked away, clearly expecting her to follow.

She did, without hesitation.

Bellamy watched Rachel keep away from the vines that hung from the hole in the cave ceiling, she was too wary of the few tendrils of the acid fog floated down and curled around them before disappearing. He wasn't as cautious; he walked right up to them and peered upwards for a moment, then walked around them to the other cave mouth, also covered in draping vines, keeping most of the yellow fog out.

"It looks like that entrance lets out close to the riverbed." he mused, unsure if he was speaking to himself or to Rachel. He reached out to sweep the vines away, and thought he heard her draw in a sharp breath. The thought that she would be worried about him made him think better about what he nearly did, and he pulled his hand back and turned to her.

She moved to sit on a large stone on the cave floor, comfortably far away from the vines. "How long do you think this'll last?"

Bellamy didn't comment on the pointlessness of the question— how could either of them know anything about the fog— he just sat himself on a boulder opposite her and shrugged. "Hopefully not too long. Drew and Jack were carrying the meat, and I'm not too eager to eat whatever we find in here." He chuckled a little, and Rachel halfheartedly returned it before falling silent again.

Bellamy's heart raced as he prepared to finally said what he had been trying to all day. They were here, alone, and Rachel's mood had steadily improved since that morning. It was finally the perfect time.

"I'm sorry about what I said about Jasper." When he saw the shocked, somewhat outraged look on her face, he tried to not feel bad that he was thankful she couldn't walk away from him. Her only options were waking Charlotte, or the acid fog.

"What I mean is," he continued, "I hope you don't think I said that because I want him dead. I don't." His racing heart skipped a beat when she relaxed, and looked at him without anger, just cautious curiosity. "I just…we don't know if Clarke can save him. I want her to, but I know that it's a slim chance."

Rachel hung her head, and pulled back her curls as if to tie them back. Bellamy didn't want her to, they were lovely just the way they were. She grimaced, and spoke without looking at him, "You don't have to remind me."

His heart clenched. "I'm sorry. But I have to be realistic. And if whatever they come back with doesn't help, I can't let Jasper suffer. I can't let him die slowly, and in that much pain. If it comes to it, I will kill him, but only to save him from that."

Silence hung over them for a long moment. The sun began to set, and the light started to fade inside the cave. By the time Rachel finally looked back up at him, he could barely see her well enough to make out the tears in her eyes. "I know. I understand." He heard her swallow, and take a shaky breath, "Thank you."

Relief flooded through Bellamy, and for the first time since he landed on the ground, he felt as if he could breathe easily. By confessing to himself what he felt for this girl, by making her understand him, some great weight had been taken off his shoulders, and although it made him happy, it scared the crap out of him too.

Rachel stood, shaking off the unknown emotions that had begun to cling to her as Bellamy had spoken. Whatever they were, this wasn't the time or place to try and explore them. She looked around the cave, at the base of the hanging vines, where she found what she was searching for. "We should build a fire. It's getting dark, and it's going to get cold in here."

Bellamy didn't say anything, but nodded, and stood. In silence, the began gathering the sticks and twigs that had fallen through the ceiling, careful to avoid the tendril of acid fog that had somehow reached the ground. Once they had both filled their arms, they made their way back towards Charlotte. They quietly set them down in the middle of the cave, and swept away the debris covering the floor.

Without a word, almost as if they had silently spoken, they both set out to a task. Bellamy started arranging the fire, and Rachel walked back into the cave to gather more materials. It was when she reached the vines that she heard Charlotte scream.

She dropped everything immediately and ran towards the sound, then stopped in wonder at what she was seeing.

Bellamy had abandoned his small fire— it barely burnt, and would die soon —and was leaning over Charlotte. One of his large hands was gently placed on her shoulder, the other was wrapped around he much smaller hand. Rachel watched, mesmerized, and he softly shushed her, and squeezed her hand to remind her that she was awake, and in the real world. The young girl apologized over and over for screaming, but Bellamy just shook his head.

Neither of them noticed Rachel. She would have stepped forward to help, but something told her that this moment wasn't for her, and kept her from taking a step forward, or making a sound. This was not to be disturbed.

So she looked on as Bellamy's face softened with kindness and concern, listened as his voice became gentler than she had ever heard it. "Does this happen often?" Charlotte blushed, and nodded. Rachel thought back to all that Miller had told her about Charlotte's nightmares. Her heart ached as she thought of the pain the poor girl had gone through.

She saw the same heartache begin to take shape in Bellamy's eyes. "What are you scared of?" he asked, drawing his hands away from Charlotte, resting them on the ledge she slept on. When he got no response, he shook his head. "You know what? It doesn't matter." Then something strange happened; his expression hardened, and he got a strange look in his eyes, one that Rachel could only try to put a name on.

As he continued to speak, she felt her heart start to thump harder and harder, though she did not know why.

"The only thing that matters is what you do about it."

Charlotte shook her head, she, like Rachel, was unsure of what he meant. "But…I'm asleep."

"Fears are fears," Bellamy's word flowed so smoothly, and he said them with such determination, that Rachel knew that this was something he was intimately familiar with. "Slay your demons when your awake, and they won't be there to get you when you sleep."

"Yeah…but how?"

"You can't afford to be weak," his voice took on a vaguely apologetic tone. "Down here, weakness is death. Fear is death." His gaze wavered for a minute, as if he too, was plagued by some fears. He blinked, and refocused. "Let me see that knife I gave you." She handed it to him. "Now, when you feel afraid, you hold this tight and say, 'Screw you, I'm not afraid."

Rachel smiled. She still didn't move, or make a noise, but something about that mantra struck something in her. It was so…so Bellamy. She'd known him for all of a week but, that one phrase told her everything she needed to know. Then she realized that she wasn't smiling at his words, she was smiling at him. At the thought of him. He made her smile.

The feelings she had brushed off earlier floated back down, settling gently in her heart and stomach like the glowing butterflies Octavia had showed her.

She could name those feelings now.

Trust was one. Total, unwavering trust. It didn't matter what he had said about Jasper. She trusted his explanation wholly, she trusted that he meant the best, and that she would trust whatever decisions he made.

Admiration was another. She had seen him put on several masks since they landed. A mask of confidence, a mask of fierceness, and the mask of a leader. But all those masks faded as she watched him now, as she listened to his words. This was him, this was the true Bellamy. The one without the mask. And she admired him.

She knew the name of the last one, but she couldn't bring herself to think it. It was too scary. It was the beginning of something too big. Something that she didn't think had a place here, not on the ground. So she took that feeling and she locked it up tight. She sealed it away where it wouldn't bother her, wouldn't cause any problems.

But when Bellamy had lured Charlotte back to sleep, he stood up to face her. In the low light, his dark eyes reflected the gold of the fire. Rachel's breath caught, and she couldn't help it as that feeling broke out and flew free.

She was in trouble.