Kind of Homo: Chapter One

Age 5

Antonio adjusted the towel draped over his head and tighten his grip on the daisies they had quickly picked from the backyard. He bobbed his head back and forth and bounced on the balls of his feet as he waited for Gilbert to finish reading the script that Francis scribbled out for him.

"Francis, will...you take Toni to be your wife...blah blah blah…. Will you cherish his frogship and love-"

"Frogship?" Francis broke his gaze from Antonio and raised his eyebrows at their third member. "What the heck is a frogship?'

Gilbert held up the paper and shook it in the blonde's face. "That's what you wrote! Frogship!"

The young Spaniard glanced between the two as they continued bantering about it. "Lemme see! Lemme see!" He stepped off the stool he was previously standing on and snagged the paper from Gil's hand. "Yeah, it does say frogship!"

Francis let out an annoyed huff and crossed his arms, his slightly longer than average hair falling into his eyes. "It says friendship you dummies."

The albino rolled his maroon shaded eyes and grabbed the paper out of Toni's hands. Antonio chuckled softly at the situation, "Francis you have really bad handwriting." He giggled lightheartedly as he crawled back onto the stool so he was eye level with the French boy.

A smile tugged at Francis' lips and he placed his hands on his hips. "Well at least I can actually spell my name."

Antonio scratched his head awkwardly, the towel now resting on his shoulders. "Hey your name is shorter than mine!"

Gilbert impatiently shook his head and sat down on the carpet. "Yeah he's right! No wait… F-R-A-N-C-I-S.." He slowly counted the letters then did the same with Antonio's name. After doing so, his eyes lit up and he bounced up onto his feet. "Stupid Tonio! Both of your names have seven letters!"

Francis just grinned, as if he was the one who just discovered this. Despite having just been insulted more than once, Antonio just placed the white towel on top of his wavy locks again, and cocked his head to the right. "How many letters are in churros?"

Gilbert lazily shrugged and glanced at the paper again. "Dunno. I can only spell some words. Come on, ask me to spell 'awesome'!"

Francis' arms instantly flopped to his sides and he threw his head back in frustration. Antonio only smiled wider, exposing his pearly whites and one missing front tooth. "How do you spell awesome?"

Gilbert's eyes gleamed like the character's did in the anime they would occasionally watch with Kiku. He thrust one finger in the air as his other hand crushed the forgotten script. "A-W-E-S-O-M-E!"

Antonio began clapping rapidly, and Francis clapped politely looking somewhat amused now. "That was very cute Gil," he mused.

Antonio nodded in agreement. "Si."

Gilbert tossed the paper ball behind his head and Francis shrugged in defeat. "Yeah, I know I'm adorable." He flashed a smile and did a single finger gun at them. "Now lets get down to this wedding business loserssss!"

Antonio reached down to retrieve the daisies that he had long forgotten about. Francis leaned over from his stool and lightly ruffled his Spanish friend's hair. "Why don't we? I was starting to think you didn't want to marry me and that just didn't make any sense."

Antonio widened his eyes. "Of course I want to marry you Francy!"

The awaiting coupled turned toward the light haired boy who now stood ready. "Okay then! Let's skip the stupid boring, mushy stuff! You can kiss and stuff now!"

Francis sighed, "Mon ami, please say it right."

Gilbert raised a brow. "But I did! If I say it a certain way, that's the right way!"

Antonio peered out from under the towel and fiddled with the flower in hand. "But all the movies say 'You may now kiss the bride'."

Gilbert waved his hand. "Nah," he said, finally noticing Toni's Paw Patrol shirt and getting instantly jealous. "Just kiss guys!"

The other two boys glanced at each other and simultaneously shrugged. With Antonio still holding his flowers, Francis leaned forward and placed a sweet, chaste peck on his lips. "Yay! We're married now!" The brunette concluded and tossed his flowers in the air.

Still eyeing the Paw Patrol shirt, the German stepped forward and held up a peace sign. "Well I hope you enjoyed it buttheads, cause now it's my turn to marry Toni!"

Said Spaniard nodded his head but sat down on the stool and wiped his forehead with the towel, as if getting married twice in a day was an exhausting process. "I like being the bride." he breathed out and pulled his legs up. "I like kissing boys!"

The other two followed his example and plopped down too, but shared amused looks at his statement. Francis grabbed his cup of water off the shelf and took a sip before answering, "Yeah I do too. But do you ever want to kiss a girl."

Antonio glanced up at the ceiling in thought while Gilbert instantly said "NO!"

"Why?" both Antonio and Francis urged.

Gilbert held his hands up with wide eyes. "Wow you guys are stupid. Girls are gross and have cooties and they are just stupid. I would kiss a hundred boys before I kiss a girl." He closed his eyes in confirmation then shot them open just as quick. "Except Eli. I would never kiss that butt muncher."

Francis cocked his head to the side. "Eli…?"

Antonio shook his head causing his wavy hair to flap around. "Eli's a girl."

Gilbert rolled his eyes and laid down on the floor, propping his head up with his hands. "Yeah he throws like one. Anyways, what about you Churro Guy?"

"OH!" Antonio nearly shouted when he realized he was being addressed. He cupped his chin and looked at the ceiling. He thought of the different girls in his class ranging from Emma to Natalia. He always thought Emma was cute, but he never even desired to hold her hand. And Natalia was always chasing Ivan down on the playground, so he stayed clear of her. Then there was Feliks who really liked dressing like a girl…. "Hmm nah. I haven't. I like this game with you guys."

"See?" Gilbert smiled sitting up and patting Antonio on the back. "We're the coolest!"

Gil's smile grew contagious and they quickly found it on Toni's face as well. A light bulb appeared over his head and he gasped before saying, "Hey I have an idea! If when we all grow up we never meet anyone, we can all marry each other!"

Seeming to like his mindset, Gilbert nodded and gave him a high five so hard even Francis winced. After giving Antonio a second to rub the sore spot, the blonde shook his head. "I'm afraid not guys." His two clueless naive friends turned toward him and he continued before they started whining, "Getting married is for two people only. So no matter how much I love you guys I couldn't marry both of you."

He flipped his hair out of his eyes and continued, "And I know you would both love to marry me because I'm super handsome but I am already reserved for someone."

"Who?" Antonio leaned forward.

Francis shrugged. "Whoever steals my heart in the future!" he sang into the air and then gave a smug look at the others. "But I dunno who will wanna marry you guys so you two should get married."

Gilbert stood up in a flash and before any of the other two could process it, Francis was laying on the floor with a spilled cup of water on his stomach while a laughing Gil was pulling Antonio to his feet. "That's what we're trying to do!" the albino chuckled while swinging his and his his potential wife's hands.

"Hey!" Francis pouted, standing up and kicking the plastic cup across the room. He pulled the matted shirt up off his skin and cleared his throat. "You're very lucky I love this game."

Antonio threw his head back and laughed, nearly losing his balance on the stool. "Please make this quick though!" He said between breaths. "I really have to pee!"

Francis held up his hands in a calm down gesture. "Okay, okay. I'll go fast. Antonio Fernandez Carriedo do you take Gilbert Beilschmidt as your husband?"

"Uhhh yes!"

"And Gilbert Beilschmidt do you take Antonio as your wife?"

"Why didn't you say my whole name?" Antonio whined and slouched over.

"Cause it's too long and nobody's got the time!" Gilbert laughed starting to squirm around on the stool. "I already have an idea for another game so yeah, yeah, I do!"

"Okay kiss and stuff," Francis said indifferently walking over to his dresser to change his shirt.

Gilbert stepped off the stool and gave Toni a quick peck on the lips before running straight to the door. "Come on guys! Let's go throw Cheetos at Roderich's house!''

Francis glanced over his shoulder with a knowing smile. "Honhonhon. I like that. Can we throw gummy bears at Arthur's house as well?"

"You know it!" Gilbert declared already down the hallway. Francis beamed and followed, pulling a pastel pink colored shirt over his head in the process.

"Wait guys!" Antonio called tossing the towel over his shoulder and tripping on his way to the door. "I still have to pee!"

Hi! So this is going to be a series of oneshots about my favorite friendship trio being a little closer than normal friends lol.

Now, I do not ship any of these three together romantically so that's not my intentions at all. I just feel like they would be comfortable doing things like this with each other before they get into their own relationships. But if you do ship any of those combos, I guess take it as you please.

Also, this will also be eventual Spamano and Prucan along with other ships like USUK, Gerita, DenNor, stuff like that. Sorry guys, I don't ship France with anyone and I would be very uncomfortable writing FRUK because I'm an Avid Usuk shipper. But don't worry, Francis won't be left sad or anything, I have a plan for him.

Yup they're 5 and kissing. It's a wedding game they're not really inlove so calm the cluck down.

I didn't type this all out like I did with my other story so I'm not sure how often I'll update.

~Iwilldrinkthiscoffee

2/15/17