Mr. Uzumaki's Maid Dragon「渦巻さんちのメイドラゴン」

Chapter Nine: Pranking Time (This Means War!)

The days that followed Kanna's introduction to the human world had been pretty bland. Turns out, whatever Tohru used to power up her attacks and stay healthy was pretty scarce in this world and left Kanna feeling weaker than usual.

As a man who forced himself to train in medicine and the likes, Naruto was worried about that fact, but after Tohru mentions that while mana (the energy that dragons apparently uses) is scarce, it isn't fatal nor is it life threatening to any of the dragons. While that didn't serve to ease Naruto's worries, it did offer some peace and quiet compared to Tohru's usual antics and fire.

However, what Naruto doesn't know was that despite what he learned about being a danger magnet…

There are still others who were plenty of trouble makers themselves.

With a yawn, Naruto stretches and smacks his lips. Reaching his personal bathroom, the blonde reaches for his toothbrush. Noticing that it was more hairy than before, Naruto simply dismissed it and continued to brush his teeth with the unknown hairy object.

Halfway through brushing his teeth, the immortal blonde stopped. Slowly taking the "toothbrush" out of his mouth, he stared at it only to find a dead rat in its place.

Several periods went over his head as he tried to mull over the fact of what just happened.

"BLEGH!"

And with a barf, Naruto immediately spat out the frothed toothpaste and whatever hairy substance that was left in his mouth and began to rinse the inside. Immediately throwing the dead rat out the window for any stray cats to feed upon, Naruto gargled up some acid in his mouth and began to gurgle. Going back to the window, Naruto slowly poured his acid over the dead rat and watched with slight satisfaction and with slight disgust as the body began to melt.

Not willing to stay and watch it till the end, Naruto, now free of the fur and smell from his mouth, went to open his closet and get ready for the day.

Upon opening the door, the blonde shocked to see a wide variety of maid outfits having seemingly replaced all his clothes. Opening the drawer, Naruto dropped a sweat as even his socks and underwear have been replaced with lingerie and stockings and the like.

Closing his closet, the blonde sighed.

"Gee, I wonder who did this…" He sarcastically thought, having already figured out the culprit. Now to find the proof and exploit her.

"Tohru, how many times do I have to say this? Quit puttin' yo' tail 'n ma food…!"

"Ehh!? But it's delicious…"

"I'm not even gonna give an answer to that…" Naruto breathed out as he took a bite at his toast. Next to him, Kanna, a recent addition to his household, was exploring the bowl of cereal that simply intrigued her.

Every now and then, however, the girl would take a peek at Naruto before quickly looking back to play with her food. As the male blonde reached for his glass of milk, Kanna's blue eyes twinkled in delight and watched in silence as Naruto took a drink.

Only to spit it back out as the milk had somehow soured and spoiled.

"Tohru, I thought you switched the milk?"

The dragon maid blinked, "Huh? I did…"

"Well…" Turning the cup upside down, Naruto watched as the milk slid slowly off the glass and onto the table, looking very much like mushed cheese. "Unless one of us has the power over time, then something went bad…"

"That's odd…" Tohru wondered, taking a look in the refrigerator to reveal a fresh and delicious milk inside. "The milk here is still fresh…"

Looking to the side and onto the floor, Naruto noticed an old carton of milk that has gone bad. Pointing at it, he comments, "I'm pretty sure we threw that away, didn't we?"

Tohru nodded, "We did. I made sure to place it in the trash for plastics…"

As Naruto hummed at the thought, Kanna picked up her glass of water and began to drink. A gulp later, the little dragon coughed and spit took with the glass still in her mouth.

"Kanna!?" Tohru shocked as she went to grab a towel.

"Salty…" Kanna moaned at the lost chance to drink fresh water.

"Salty, huh? That has to suck."

Kanna blinked as Naruto spoke up. She turned to see Naruto, with his eyes shaded, leaning against the wall. "Sucks about as much as my toothbrush being replaced with a dead rat and all my clothes being replaced with maid clothes…"

"Uzumaki, you…!"

It was then and there that Kanna realized, Naruto was a fellow prankster!

As Naruto smirked, Kanna gulped her saliva and hardened her eyes. For the time has come… It is now time for…

A Prank War!

"What are they doing?" Tohru wondered as she looked at Naruto and Kanna staring at each, with what looked like lightning coming out of their eyes and clashing midair. Smiling, the girl shrugged, "At least they seem to be getting along!"

Oh Tohru, you poor, poor soul.

The next day, Naruto twitched an eye as he glared at the shower head that refused to pour water. Of course, it was sort of obvious seeing the cloud of cotton balls taped onto the shower head in order to clog it. Sighing, the blonde simply created a miniature rain cloud to wash himself.

"Ain't the first time I was denied of showering, but that doesn't mean I like it…" He thought as he washed himself. "In any case, it's still not up to the standards of the International Association of Pranking Codes and Conducts' (shortened to INAP2C) Body of Standards. If that little Munchkin wants my approval in the art of pranking, then she better up her game."

In the living room, Kanna struggled to reach for her charm beads that were hanged onto the wall. Even while jumping, she still had trouble reaching for her precious beads that her mother gave her. Glaring at her beads, Kanna grabbed one of the chairs from the dining table and set it below the hanged beads.

"Kanna?" Tohru asked, seeing her fellow dragon try to reach for her hair beads that were hanging on the wall. Reaching over to grab the beads for Kanna, Tohru was shocked to see the beads suddenly move higher, now far beyond her reach.

"What… what sorcery is this…?" Tohru wondered, now suspicious of the mysterious phenomenal that was happening.

"This is the work of Uzumaki…!" Kanna muttered to herself, "I just know it is!"

Yawning, Naruto closed the door and dropped his bag on the floor, thanking Tohru for the hot cup of water. "Aw man… after centuries of being around and they still can't figure out how to deal with paper work… blasted things, if only I could freely use the [Kage Bunshin], it woulda been a breeze…"

"[Kage Bunshin]…? What's that?" Tohru wondered to herself, mentally translating it to her mother language. "I wonder if that means that Uzumaki-san can clone himself?"

Cracking his neck, Naruto went to sit at the dining table, pulling the chair back and backing up to sit on it to re- "WAH!"

"Uzumaki-san!?" Tohru cried out, rushing towards her fellow blond to find him on the floor next to a chair that has its legs unscrewed. "How…?"

"How is the right question, but not important at the moment, Tohru…" Naruto mumbled as he grabbed the empty cup from his head. Muttering how hot the water was, he continued, "Rather, can you get me a towel?"

"Ah, right away!"

Sighing to himself, Naruto gazed up at Kanna who was staring at him from her spot at the dining table. "Bet you're having a blast, eh?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," The little girl feigned ignorance.

"INAP2C's Body of Standards Rule Number 2: Never admit your work, a Prankster is always a shadow and never noticed. At least she knows the rules to pranking…" Naruto muttered as he took the towel from his maid, watching as Kanna took her own drink.

"PFFFTT!"

"Eh- Kanna!?" Tohru shocked to see Kanna spit take her water.

Pouring water back into her cup from her mouth, Kanna moaned at the lost chance of fresh water. "Bitter…"

A good prank, according to INAP2C's Body of Standards Rule Number 4, are allowed to be repeated, and as such, Naruto smirked as Kanna wiped the water off her face. Tohru, in the meantime, was confused as to why all these odd events were happening around both Naruto and Kanna. Although, most of the circumstances do feel familiar…

"She's pretty good at this…" Naruto hummed to himself, staring at his bed from where he was stuck on. Pulling his right arm, Naruto ignored the number of nails that were nailing him onto the ceiling as he scratched his head, "Ok, not good… more like she's improving. That's good, that's good… All these pranking has made her powerful."

The small parody reference he made wasn't lost to him, of course, but that didn't matter. What matters was that over the course of a week, both he and Kanna had had a pranking war, and while there hasn't been any real casualties, as per the INAP2C's Body of Standards, both of their dignities have taken the blows.

Of course, Naruto left his dignity a long time ago, but that's beside the point.

"Aaah…" Tohru hummed out in realization, her hands on her hip as she stared at Kanna sleeping, tied from neck to toe and hanging upside down. "Kanna's been pranking Uzumaki-san, huh? Although… does that mean that Uzumaki-san also pranks as well?"

"Do I what?" Naruto asked, exiting his room to get rid of his now torn and ruined pajamas. Humming as he threw away his clothes, Naruto reached up to fix his tie.

"Uzumaki-san, do you prank?"

Naruto nodded, "Yep. It's something I've done as a kid, so it's been years since I've last pranked," He replied. "Of course, that doesn't mean that I've lost my touch, seeing that I'm actually one of the chair members of an association for the delicate art of pranking."

"There's a gathering for humans who prank?" Tohru thought to herself. "Uzumaki-san is a chair member of that same gathering? How odd…" The dragon girl then deadpanned, "Then again, there was that one time with Elma…"

As Tohru mulled over her rival, Naruto tapped onto Kanna's forehead. Waking up, the little dragon was shocked to find herself dangling upside down with her archrival standing in front of her.

"Uzumaki."

"Mornin' Munchkin," Naruto ignored the glare that Kanna was giving her. Yawning again, he mumbled, "Hey, it's been fun with this pranking war we've been having, but how 'bout a truce for now?"

"Denied."

"C'mon. It's been about a week since we started. Should be enough time to call a time out on this?"

"No."

"I'll treat ya to anything you want."

Drool dropped down from Kanna's mouth as she hesitated. She hesitated so much that it hurts just looking at it. But she shall stand strong! At least until she can beat that Uzumaki first!

"N… N-no!"

"INAP2C's Body of Standards Rule Number 6: Accept no bribery…" Naruto mulled with amusement. "Alright, bribery's out of the way… what about Tohru?"

At the mention of her name, Tohru looked at Naruto, "Yes?"

"Don't worry about it, Tohru. Go make breakfast, we'll be with you in a moment."

"If you say so, Uzumaki-sama!"

"And no dragon tail meat."

"Awwww…"

As Tohru dejectedly retreated to the kitchen, Kanna narrowed her eyes. "What do you mean about Tohru-sama?"

Naruto scratched his head, "Look, we both know just how far we can take this pranking war. The problem isn't with the method or even with the budget of each pranks – since I can pay for all of it – no, the problem I'm talking about is collateral damage."

"Collateral… damage…?"

"Namely, and this is hypothetical and theoretical, but still a possibility all the same… what if, what if, and I'm saying it a third time so that you actually pay attention, what if Tohru accidentally trips one of our more… dangerous… pranks…?"

"!?" Kanna shocked.

"INAP2C's Body of Standards Rule Number 1: Under no circumstances shall there be any collateral damage or injuries of any kind to any innocents or to any personals who are not the intended victims of any pranks," Naruto firmly recited. "I don't know if you dragons have any sort of rules and/or regulations about pranking, but here, we have such rules and regulations. Do you understand?"

"I understand," Kanna repeated, "I want to beat you. But I don't want to hurt Tohru-sama."

"INAP2C's Body of Standards Rule Number 3: Never, ever, give up on beating your victim, should they be competent enough to not trigger a prank, or be fellow pranksters during a Pranking War," Naruto thought to himself as he stared at the little dragon. "She's got good eyes…"

"Alright then. In that case, a truce?"

"Truce."

"Then let's shake on it," Naruto quipped, holding his hand out for a shake before blinking. "Ah."

"Please untie me, Uzumaki."

"Right, sorry about that… completely forgot you were tied upside-down to the ceiling…"

A/N:

I don't know if any of you guys know this, but Author's Note, or A/N for short, are very important notes of information left behind by the authors of fanfics, should they wish to leave any. That means that there are very important notes of information within those very A/N's.

Now to those who don't take the time to read A/N's, I don't know your reasons for not reading them, but you really should try to at least give the effort. Many people won't read fanfics simply because to them it's a hassle to read and easier to just see (which is the same, no matter what, which is why I'm confused as to why they won't try reading... but I digress). Taking the time to read A/N's won't end your life nor Earth-chan's.

I won't speak for the other authors, but I will be thankful if you will take the time to read A/N's. You might never know if there will be important notes of information, after all.

In any case, this is the ninth chapter and perhaps the final chapter of the year. So please look forward to Chapter Ten! It'll be something that I will be doing for every 10 chapters and will help you understand the Naruto of this fanfic universe!

Look forward to it!