A/N: Sorry life has slowed down the time I have to write! Hope the extra long chapter makes up for the wait! I haven't stopped writing this and I have plans for this story far into the future so please stick with me!

The angst is real folks! Omg it is the Cup of China free skate! Ahhhhh! Yuuri is spiraling down a dark hole! Save the adorable cinnamon roll please Victor!

Disclaimer: I don't own Yuri on Ice, Victor Nikiforov, Yuuri Katsuki, etc.

Pairings: Yuuri (Yuri) Katsuki/Victor (Viktor) Nikiforov – NOTE: using spelling Victor for this story

WARNINGS: Contains BoyxBoy, Yaoi, Smut, Fluff - DON'T LIKE? DON'T READ

NOTE: Anything in bold is in the past. Anything in italics is Yuuri's thoughts

Caught in Eros

Chapter 6: What If

By SunSoara

Yuuri slumped on the bench next to the rink, his eyes drooping closed before popping back open. He felt like hell and if his reflection in the mirror this morning hadn't been a hallucination than he definitely looked just as bad. His phone beeped over the sound of the skaters and coaches beginning their morning practice.

He flipped the phone over and saw a new text message alert. Yuuri knew who it was. Unable to sleep after the few, restless hours that could barely be considered a cat nap, Yuuri had showered and left in the shuttle before Victor made it to Yuuri's room.

Afraid that Victor would stop him from practicing, Yuuri had sent a text as he headed towards the arena. He figured if he was already at the rink, Victor wouldn't make a fuss when he saw the dark rings and bloodshot eyes.

His head dropped toward his chest. It was so heavy, maybe he could rest his eyes for a few. The ringtone of his phone blared next to him and he startled, almost tipping far enough backwards to fall off the bench. Yuuri slapped at the device, hitting the button to make it silent and shoving it in his pocket. The sound woke him up just enough to remember what he had been doing. Skates. He was sitting so he could put them on and go out to practice.

"Someone calling that you don't want to talk to?"

Yuuri looked up and tossed a weak wave at Phichit. "H-hey…" his voice cracking even on the simple word.

His best friend's eyes widened and immediately took a seat next to Yuuri, "Wow Yuuri! You look awful!"

Yuuri huffed, "Jeez, thanks."

Phichit laughed, "Sorry but you really do look like you are on death's door. You didn't sleep well?"

He fumbled with the edge of his sponsor jacket, "I couldn't…"

Phichit had lived long enough with Yuuri to know the signs of his anxiety, so he didn't bother stating the obvious. Instead he took it as a great opportunity to try to tease him into a better mood, "What? You spent too much time making out with your boyfriend?"

Yuuri's head whipped up to look at Phichit, his mouth gaping open, "NO! I mean…wait…I-I…how…"

Phichit smiled victoriously, "Oh come on Yuuri, I'm your best friend. I had my suspicions with the way you two were at the restaurant and then he wasn't more than an arms length away from you after your short program. I've spent enough time to know you and your obsession. You practically glow when Victor is near you."

Yuuri groaned, hands hiding his face, "Oh god, is it that obvious?"

Phichit chuckled, patting him comfortingly on the shoulder, "Only to those that know you best Yuuri."

He glared, "You have to promise not to tell anyone yet Phichit. We are waiting for the right time to go public about our relationship."

His best friend motioned like he was zipping his lips, "Sealed. I swear."

Yuuri gave a curt nod in thanks. He should have told his best friend sooner. Never having a boyfriend before, he didn't know how to bring up the subject. 'Hi Phichit. How are you? By the way, I'm having the most mind blowing sex with my coach!'

Silence surrounded them for a minute before Phichit's eyes caught something over Yuuri's shoulder, "Ahhh looks like Ciao Ciao has found me. I gotta go."

Yuuri smiled up at his best friend as he stood, "Good luck today Phichit."

Phichit gave a little wink, pulling out his phone and leaning into Yuuri's space to snap a selfie together. As he reviewed the picture, his happy-go-lucky mood mellowed out, becoming more serious, "I've never seen you as happy as you are when you are around Victor. You deserve this Yuuri, I think you are good for each other."

Yuuri blushed, his fingers fiddling anxiously in his lap.

"Now," he placed a hand on Yuuri's shoulder, "Make me earn that gold medal! Show the world what you can accomplished with Victor, the living legend, as your coach!" Phichit smiled and waved as he made a hasty retreat to the rink entrance where Celestino was waiting.

Yuuri should have been happy, rejuvenated after talking with his best friend. However, he was so tired that he wasn't sure if he could adequately recall the entire conversation, words entering and leaving his consciousness with no ability to retain them.

The last line Phichit left him with sank into his stomach like a knife, twisting his insides. His breathing becoming erratic and his eyes grew wide. 'How could he have not thought of this sooner? If he messes up his free program and fails to move on, he wouldn't just be disappointing his family, his fans, and Victor. His failure would reflect poorly on Victor as his coach.' The last thing he ever wanted to be was a burden.

"Yuuri?"

Leaping to his feet, Yuuri spun around coming face to face with Victor. He saw the concerned look aimed his way due to the sorry state of sleep deprivation that he was in. Yuuri immediately downcast his eyes.

Victor sucked in his breath, his voice authoritative but caring, "You haven't sleep have you?"

Yuuri waved his hands in front of his face, "I did! I did! Well maybe just a little…"

Lips pursed in a stern line, "We are heading back to the hotel. You will rest until the performance this evening."

"But Victor, I haven't practiced yet!"

Victor reached down, grabbing the bag with his skates and swinging it over his shoulder, "You'll be fine. Sleep is more important or you will hurt yourself before you can even get on the ice tonight."

Yuuri had no choice but to follow as Victor stalked towards the exit. He huffed out in frustration then yawned. The cool air hit him in the face as they made their way into the shuttle bus and headed back to the hotel. The ride was quiet, neither speaking, the air could be cut with a knife as Yuuri stewed in his thoughts and Victor stared out the window.

He dragged himself into the hotel elevator and down the hall to his room. As he unlocked the door, Victor ushered him in, tossing the bag on the floor as they both removed their shoes. Yuuri shuffled to the bed, ready to plant face first into it but stopped when a gentle, firm grip landed on his shoulder.

Victor smiled at him but Yuuri could see the apprehension and concern in the little furrow of Victor's brow. Hands removed his sponsor jacket, followed by his practice clothes until he was stripped down to his boxer briefs.

Victor smirked, grabbing the sheet off the bed with a flourish and shoving Yuuri back onto the bed. He bounced as he hit the springs, a blush rising into his cheeks. Yuuri should be way too tired to have erotic thoughts of Victor as he was manhandled onto the bed, but his lower regions were obviously not paying attention to any rationality on the matter.

Tossing the sheet over Yuuri, Victor crawled up the bed, "Sleep until the competition starts. I always waited until the last minute too."

Victor laid right on top of him, his hand patting Yuuri's chest as he rested his head next to it. There was nowhere for Yuuri to go. The bed was too small for Victor to be anywhere else, his weight pinning him to the bed. If Victor turned at all he would fall to the floor and if Yuuri moved Victor would know the instant his body weight shifted.

It was like Victor was making sure Yuuri had to stay in the bed. He could not sneak away like he had earlier. Yuuri sighed, "Did you set an alarm?"

There was no response, Victor already dozing on him. He should have been in full on panic mode. Strangely the weight of the man on top of him was comforting and he drifted off with the smell of Victor's shampoo filling his nostrils.

"Love has changed me and I'll prove it at the Grand Prix Final…with a Gold medal!" Yuuri groaned as he slunk deeper into the train seat. It was the millionth time he had watched the recording of the press conference on his phone as he headed back to Hasetsu. By now, he was just torturing himself with each viewing.

Yuuri went alone to the press conference because he was too nervous to talk about this year's theme with Victor in the same room. He feared that he would be unable to stop himself from bumbling through the mass of emotions that bubble up inside him every time he thinks about Victor.

'Guess he shouldn't have worried about it, he managed to look like an idiot even without Victor there.' It was so difficult to form the words to express what Victor gave him and he stumbled through it spectacularly.

The train PA system stopped him from hitting the replay button one more time, "Now arriving at Hasetsu Station."

Yuuri sighed, standing up to grab his bag from the overhead compartment. As the train stopped, he filed out with the few people who were making their way home at such a late hour. Victor told him before he left to stay in Fukuoka for the night. Part of him was tired after the anxiousness of speaking in front of all those reporters and wanted nothing more than to curl in bed. Yet, even though he was embarrassed to see what Victor had to say about his speech, he took the train back home. Yuuri had sent a text once he was already settled on the train so Victor couldn't talk him out of it.

He shuffled his feet through the turnstile, shifting his bag further onto his shoulder.

"Yuuri!"

He wasn't even able to brace himself as Victor flew into him, spinning him around from the force of the impact. His bag fell to the floor as he let go to catch the man now in his arms.

"Victor? What are you doing here?"

The man pulled back to look at Yuuri, "I'm here to pick you up of course! You must be tired after the press conference!"

Yuuri's lips curved into a small smile, his head shaking lightly as he took a minute to just drink in Victor in his close proximity. He never seceded to surprise Yuuri.

"You didn't have to come all the way to the station. It's late."

Victor tightened his hold, his voice lowering and filled with warmth, "I wanted to."

Yuuri's cheeks tinged with a faint pink blush, his chin tucked against his chest as he looked at Victor through his long eyelashes, "Thank you."

Victor puffed out his chest, giving a wink and a smile, "Of course, dorogoy. Now let's get you home."

He reached for the fallen bag, swinging it over his shoulder and tucking Yuuri under his other arm to guide him to the exit. Yuuri's face deepened into another shade of red but he didn't pull away. Instead he buried himself further into the warmth of Victor's side.

Yuuri padded into Victor's room after his shower clad in only his boxer briefs and a robe. It felt good to get the smell of new places and the train ride out of his skin. Victor looked up and smiled from his seat on the couch, legs stretched the length of it and a book nestled in his hands. He glanced up at Yuuri's entrance, beaming a dazzling smile before his gaze wandered back to the printed pages.

Grabbing his phone off of the bedside table where it had been charging, Yuuri made his way back to the couch. He gracefully took a seat on the floor, back against the middle of the cushions.

Victor's eyes were torn from the words as he felt Yuuri's presence beside him, "You don't have to sit on the floor Yuuri. I can move."

Yuuri tilted his head back over his shoulder, his hair still damp from the bath and falling over his face to brush against his eyelashes. His lips curved into the sweetest of smiles, "You look very comfortable where you are so I don't mind the floor. I just wanted to be close to you."

He missed the tinted pink that rose across Victor's cheeks as his phone tinged to signal an incoming message and his focus moved back to the device in his hand. Victor watched as Yuuri's eyes lit up, a small upturn of his lips as his fingers rapidly typed out a response.

Victor assumed it was Phichit. He took the time to soak in Yuuri's reactions to the unknown words scrawled across the tiny screen before returning his focus to his book. He didn't even realize his other hand moved unconsciously to reach out for Yuuri. Tiny, soft touches dancing into the silky strands on the back of his neck.

"That tickles…" Yuuri murmured out into the room, still texting Phichit. Victor jerked his hand back as he realized what he was doing. Yuuri chuckled, eyes locking on Victor's, "I didn't say you had to stop."

Victor resumed his administrations as they both got lost in their activities, content in their shared company. He didn't know how long they sat there, each finding comfort of their closeness.

Yuuri was the first to move, placing his phone on the table next to the couch and stretching his arms above his head. It was enough to get Victor's attention away from the book, his eyes wandering to the expanse of thigh now visible to the room from Yuuri's actions.

"Victor…" Yuuri whispered into the room as he turned, legs tucking under him, arms resting on the edge of the couch as he placed his chin on them, "Can I…"

Victor didn't wait for Yuuri to finish his thought. Whatever he wanted or needed Victor was more than willing to give. He closed his book with a snap, tossing it on the table. Yuuri took that as an open invitation and crawled up the side of the couch. He placed his knees on the sides of Victor's hips and sat down gently in his lap.

Victor smiled warmly up at him, a hand cradling the side of his face. Yuuri nuzzled into the touch, eyes lidded and blinking slowly. He took Victor's wrist in his hand, keeping him there as he turned his face into the palm. Breathing in, his mouth ghosted over the skin, kissing the middle before trailing his lips to Victor's wrist and planting another on his pulse point.

Victor's breath hitched at the intimate way Yuuri was worshiping his body, his other hand rubbed caring circles into Yuuri's exposed thigh. The robe was barely on man's body, the material falling loosely, exposing his shoulder and Victor wanted nothing more than to taste every inch of the skin from Yuuri's neck to his collarbone, to his shoulder.

Yuuri let his other hand brush across Victor's arm, encouraging Victor to touch him more. He wanted to feel Victor on him. It wasn't the blinding passion or desire that came from arousal but the need to be connected all the same.

Victor didn't appear to be in any rush, taking in the sight of Yuuri above him and making no move to escalate their proximity into more physical gestures. Yuuri just held him there, breathing on the skin of his wrist and fingers dancing on the bicep of his other arm.

Victor was startled out of his contemplation of the perfection of Yuuri Katsuki when his voice broke the silence, "D-did you watch the press conference?"

Victor took in the way Yuuri sucked in his plump bottom lip to hold it delicately between his teeth. He tilted his head to the side, curiosity peaked, "I did."

Yuuri puffed out a sigh, "S-sorry… I really blew it out there huh?"

Victor's brow furrowed, "Maybe you weren't as eloquent as you could have been," he watched as Yuuri deflated just a bit, "But I could feel your conviction behind every word you said."

Yuuri visibly brightened, eyes sparkling, "Yeah?"

Fingers splayed in the junction between Yuuri's neck and shoulder, warmth seeping into the bare cooled skin, "Truly. It made me happy to hear those words from your lips."

Yuuri lunged forward, capturing Victor's mouth in his own, hot and heavy. The man always seemed to know what to say to make him feel better. They met together, calming the storm that sometimes raged inside of Yuuri.

Victor's arms snaked up his sides to caress across his lower back. The kiss started passionate but it didn't last long. Instead, they slowed it down, exploring each other softly as tongues and teeth gently moved against each other.

Victor was unsure how long they made out but he could see the fullness of Yuuri's lips as he pulled back. Yuuri moved away, taking a long moment just to drink in Victor beneath him. His fingers reached for the tie of Victor's robe, undoing it and exposing his chest to the open air.

The porcelain skin beneath his fingertips rippled as he kneaded them across ribs, abdomen and finally chest. Victor's eyes never left him, body unmoving except for the tiny circles he drew on Yuuri's hips through his robe.

Withdrawing his hands, Yuuri reached for the tie of his own robe, releasing the fabric and tugging it away from his chest so it would pool along his sides. He shimmed further down, shifting to rest his upper body on Victor, warm skin against warm skin. He curled in close, arms bracketing Victor's sides, head resting on his chest, right over his heart.

His eyes fluttered closed as he listened to the steady beat of Victor's heart, arms embracing him in a cocoon of comfort. They stayed melded together on the couch, time having no meaning and silence speaking volumes. It was Victor who eventually carried a sleeping Yuuri into bed. The man unconsciously wrapped himself around Victor to lull them both into the land of dreams.

Yuuri fumbled with the cap on the lid of his water. They were finally back at the rink after his mini nap. Although he was not nearly as tired, it had done nothing to curb his anxiety. Victor had been strangely silent on the way back to the arena and while he changed into his costume for the free skate. He couldn't miss the look of concern cracking through the mask on Victor's face. It only ended up making him feel worse.

Hands landed heavily on his shoulders and Victor loomed above him, "You didn't take a nap did you Yuuri? You are not allowed any jumps during warm up. That's an order from your coach"

Yuuri gaped at the man. 'What?! No way was he going out to perform with no preparation!' He said nothing, ignoring Victor as they made their way to the ice for the six minute warm up. Running through his step sequence, he felt his muscles loosen up. At the very end, he attempted a jump, needing to know he could do it. Instead, he went crashing to the ice in a heap of limbs.

Victor had known. He had known Yuuri was going to fall. Yuuri couldn't look at Victor as he stepped off the ice. Once again, he had disobeyed his coach's orders and he deserved the lecture he was due.

It never came.

Yuuri held his breath waiting for it, but Victor just watched him, stepping beside him to head back to the waiting area. 'That's right. Victor risked the rest of his career for a dime-a-dozen skater and now he was realizing just what that truly meant.'

When Victor finally spoke it was with a cheerful, bubbly voice trying to drown out what Yuuri knew was lying beneath the surface, "You'll be fine. You can land the jumps even if you didn't in practice. It happens all the time."

Yuuri shrank in on himself, "I'm sorry."

The phantom knife twisted in Yuuri's gut and he had to sit down on a chair to try to compose himself. He grasped his head in his hands, breath erratic and leg bouncing up and down a mile a minute. 'It really was ok if Victor didn't want to be his coach. He would understand. But, they had so much more now. They had shared so much of each other that Yuuri felt like a piece of him was missing when the other wasn't around. Would he loose not only a coach but his boyfriend as well? Would Victor really want to stay with him?'

It took more strength than Yuuri thought he was capable of to compose himself enough to start his exercises, keeping his body loose until it was his turn to compete. He was dead last to perform and after hearing how well everyone was doing he forced himself to put his earplugs in. As he faced the wall, he rotated his hips back and forth, panic once again swelling in his chest.

He let out a tiny startled yelp as he was dragged backwards down the hall by Victor. 'What was he doing?' Victor pulled him into a staircase and the door slammed behind them leaving them alone. An arm wrapped around his shoulder, guiding him down into the belly of the arena. 'Maybe Victor was taking him down here to finally yell at him. Away from prying eyes that would tarnish is reputation….NO! Stop! That wasn't Victor at all and he knew better than to think that. It wasn't something he would do! … He doesn't think that.'

Yuuri shook his head, trying to physically remove the thoughts swimming inside. They ended up in the parking garage below the arena. He could barely hear a buzz from the crowd through the layers of concrete and his earplugs.

Victor's voice came muffled to him, "Keep warming up down here. I'll let you know when it is time to head back."

He gave a sharp jerk of his head downwards and started to run through the routine. All the thoughts he had since last night continued to replay through his head. It was so difficult to piece together what was happening and what was his anxiety whispering hurtful words through his consciousness. After the time he spent with Victor the past few months, he was closer to the man than he ever thought possible.

Deep down, Yuuri knew some of the ideas that were floating in his head were wrong, but they wouldn't stop. Every look, every word, every silent moment, everything, made him second guess his feelings. He could live with most of the self-loathing, he had for the majority of his life. Yet when it came to Victor, he was desperate to not do the wrong thing.

Yuuri glanced towards Victor, the man was staring at the parking garage ceiling. He finally noticed the muffled roar in his ears. Pulling the earplugs out, the roar assaulted him, clapping, cheering, yelling, stamping of feet, all mixed into a tremendous wave of sound echoing through the parking garage.

"Phichit Chulanont is rewriting Thai figure skating history!"

'Phichit...' Yuuri stared at the ceiling his eyes wide, a war tearing at his insides as he was both happy for his friend and terrified at the same time.

"Don't listen!"

Yuuri startled as Victor's hands grasped the sides of his head, blocking his ears. The look on his face was filled with anxiety and deep concern. He had never seen Victor look like that, always the suave living legend or goofy, dog loving boyfriend. Yuuri had put that look on Victor's face and it ate at him.

He reached up with shaky hands to removed Victor's gloved ones from his face. Yuuri's gaze was averted, he didn't want to see himself reflected back in those pools of blue.

"Victor… we should be getting back. I'm almost up soon," Yuuri hesitated only for a second before brushing past Victor's right shoulder to head toward the stairs.

"Yuuri," the tone of Victor's voice commanded his attention.

He turned, staring as Victor ran his fingers through his silver hair nervously. "Look it is partially my fault if you don't make it to the podium today. I'll take responsibility and resign as your coach."

'WHAT?! Oh god! NO! No, no, no! He never wanted his mistakes to be Victor's. This is what he had feared all day!'

Tears streamed down his face unchecked, he wasn't even sure if he was breathing. Victor stared at him, startled by the tracks of wetness streaking down his face. It only made Yuuri cry harder.

"Victor, why… why would you say something like that? Are you trying to test me?"

The man stepped forward to reach out but Yuuri shrank back, shoulders hunched and head hanging as his body shook with the force of his crying.

Victor looked almost too stunned to say words, "Yuuri, I wasn't being serious. I'm sorry."

He hiccupped, trying to talk through the heaving sobs, "I fail a lot so I have gotten pretty use to it over the years but it is different now… because I worry about my mistakes reflecting on YOU! Part of me has been wondering if you secretly want to quit…"

"I was just saying that. Of course I don't –"

"I KNOW!" Yuuri's screamed words echoed in the parking garage and he was almost to the point of hyperventilating. He knew that Victor didn't want to leave but that didn't stop it from tearing at him like claws raking across his heart. The quiet sobs and gasping breaths mingling with the muffled sounds of the arena above them, a reminder of the competition Yuuri must still compete in.

Victor was completely lost. Yuuri had never broken down like this before. He thought he understood how to handle it when Yuuri felt this way. Space, time, comfort, talking, all of it worked before. As the hours passed by earlier, Victor had watched as everything he tried today only seemed to make it get worse. He didn't know what to do to help Yuuri, as his coach or his boyfriend, and he confessed that very sentiment to the man, "I don't know what to do… what you need… should I kiss you?"

"NO! Just have more faith that I will win than I do. You don't have to say anything just stay close to me Victor!"

Arms embraced him in a tight hug, surrounding Yuuri in comforting warmth. He buried his face in Victor's neck, crying unhindered into the soft skin. Victor only held him tighter as he felt Yuuri's fist gathering the back of his suit jacket.

"Yuuri… this what you have been so upset about all day," Victor didn't ask it like a question but more as an acknowledgment of what was upsetting Yuuri, "Know that no matter what I'll be by your side. I believe in you Yuuri, understand?"

Yuuri buried his head further into Victor's neck, breathing in the spicy, woody smell of his cologne. He gripped the back of Victor's jacket harder as he nodded his head.

"Oh moya lyubov…" his words were almost drowned out with the cheering crowd as Leo completed his program. Victor wanted to stop time so he could spend it holding Yuuri. He needed to talk to him, help him. Time was a luxury they did not have.

He pulled back, "Yuuri… We have to go back to the rink now. You are up soon."

Yuuri nodded, drying his tears on the sleeve of his sponsor jacket. He turned, ready to head back to the staircase but paused. Pivoting back, he reached up to pull the man gently toward him, pressing his forehead flush with Victor's.

They didn't say anything, amber brown eyes, tinged pink around the edges and shimmering with dampness, stared into ocean blues that conveyed strength, love, and faith.

They were both silent on the walk towards the rink. Yuuri knew he looked bad, eyes puffy and face red from the crying. Removing his skate guards, he made his way onto the ice, traveling away from the entrance and down the barrier, mirroring Victor's movements on the other side. He watched as Victor hesitated, mouth opening only to snap shut and look away.

Pulling a few tissues from the poodle shaped container in Victor's hands, he gazed at the man in front of him. Victor was inexperienced as a coach and they were still learning about each other as boyfriends. The months spent with Victor until now had opened Yuuri's eyes to a man entirely different than the one he idolized since he was a kid. This new view of Victor was better than any article, interview, or dream he could have thought up.

Yuuri blew his nose and Victor reached out to take it. Instead of dropping it in his outstretched hand, Yuuri pulled back just enough that Victor had to lean far over the rink railing in order to prevent the wadded up ball from falling onto the ice. He poked the top of Victor's head, in the small whorl of his part, before gently patting the silver locks with his palm. 'It's ok Victor. You are not the idol from my posters. This Victor right here is human, he isn't perfect, and he is trying his best. Just stay by my side and I'll stay by yours. It's no longer just you or me. It's us.'

The performance started and Yuuri was oddly relaxed. He never felt this way before on the ice in a competition, the pressure, tiredness, and fear melting away as he flowed through the movements. After so little sleep and barely any practice, landing his jumps with ease was a surprise to him. As he moved into the last part of his routine, a wild idea fluttered to the front of his thoughts.

He was going to change the last jump to a quad flip.

Yuuri was going to shock Victor and enjoy the look of surprise on the older man's face when he did it. Not even Victor put his signature move at the very end of a performance. It was a difficult jump normally but fatigue would increase that challenge.

Yuuri didn't care, he was going to do it, displaying to Victor the faith he had in him. Victor showed him how to do this jump, had taught him as his coach and Yuuri was going to show the world what Victor could pull out of him.

He glided into the setup for the jump, prepared, and took off. One, two, three, four, and then Yuuri tumbled in a heap across the cold, harsh surface of the rink. He climbed to his feet, flying toward the center of the arena and into his final spins.

As he looked down his arm in his ending pose, he saw Victor standing there, his beautiful ocean eyes covered by his gloved hands. Yuuri finally took in the entirety of his performance. He had failed the quad flip. 'Was Victor sad? Was he angry? He had to know!'

He took a bow for the cheering audience, his body twisting on the ice, his eyes not wanting to leave Victor. Yuuri watched as Victor's face was uncovered but he never looked up from his feet. He waited on bated breath before seeing Victor spin on his heels, sprinting for the rink exit in front of the kiss and cry.

Yuuri's face lit up, pushing off hard and barreling across the ice. 'Even with the failed quad he still performed well right? He needed to know what Victor thought!' He shouted as they got closer, "Victor! See that? I did great right?"

Victor skidded to a halt at the opening, his eyes turning soft and a small smile curving across his lips. Yuuri had no time to brace himself as Victor flew into his arms. His eyes grew wide as Victor's lips crashed into his, the kiss lingering for the length of their fall onto the ice. Fingers gently cupped the back of his head, cradling it in Victor's warm leather-clad hand.

It was a combination of the gasping cheer from the crowd and the snapping of cameras that made Victor pull back, looking down at Yuuri, "I wanted to surprise you more than you surprised me and this was the only thing I could think of."

Yuuri tilted his head to the side, a smile gracing his lips that could have melted the ice, "Well it worked."

Victor leaned in to rest his forehead against Yuuri's, mimicking the action from earlier in the parking garage, "I know we said to wait for the right time to let everyone know about our relationship… I'm sorry I made the decision without asking you."

Yuuri reached up, swiping the bangs hanging down over Victor's face to tuck them behind his ear, "It's ok Victor. I don't mind at all"

Victor glowed, leaning in to plant another kiss on those delicious looking lips only to be interrupted by someone shouting.

"Hey, lovebirds! We are all happy for you but could you get off the ice and get into the kiss and cry so we can move things along!"

Victor looked over his shoulder and Yuuri shifted to his right to see past it. Chris had been the one to call out to them, hands on his hips and foot tapping the floor. He pretended to be upset but his smile gave away the fact that he was pleased with the current events. Next to him was Phichit, who to Yuuri's embarrassment, was snapping a million pictures a minute of the two of them on the ice.

"Victor! Get off! Now!" Yuuri blushed bright red, trying to scramble out from under the other man.

Victor complied, eyes darkening as he pulled Yuuri to his feet. He didn't let go of Yuuri's hand, using it to help balance him on the ice without skates. He purred into Yuuri's ear, "Maybe we can continue this later in private. Then we can see how many times I'll 'get off'."

Yuuri tripped on the ice, nearly sending them both crashing back down. The flush covered his entire neck and ears now. Victor smirked in smug satisfaction as they stepped off the ice.

"Wow Yuuri, do you skate much?" Phichit joked, knowing Victor had to have said something to get that look on his best friend's face.

Yuuri used Victor's shoulder to balance as he place his skate guards on, "Shut it Phichit."

"Oh feisty today," Phichit laughed as his attention diverted back to his phone as notification dings filled the air.

Victor and Yuuri walked into the kiss and cry and took a seat to await his score. Their hands were still clasped together as the screen lit up and both saw that he had placed second behind his best friend. Victor cheered, throwing a peace sign at the cameras before Yuuri tugged his arm hard.

Yuuri leaned in, face hidden from the cameras and breath ghosting over the shell of Victor's ear, "We will see who gets who off more tonight. Hope you are ready."

The raw passion dripping from every one of Yuuri's words sent a shiver up Victor's spine. He was more than ready.

After standing next to his best friend for photos, the weight of his silver medal around his neck, Yuuri joined Victor as he responded to the announcer on camera. Thankfully, it was Mooroka, who was always professional and seemed to be a fan of Yuuri's, so the question focused on the next competition.

He got pulled away from Phichit and Chris by people congratulating him on placing second. Leo and Guang Hong Ji excitedly praised him for his attempted quad flip at the end of his free skate and hoped to see him land it in Russia. As Yuuri left the arena to head back to the locker rooms, he was swarmed by reporters in the hallways.

"What is your exact relationship with Victor Nikiforov?"

"When did you start seeing each other?"

"How does your relationship effect the coach/student dynamic?"

"Did Victor Nikiforov take a year off to coach you because you were already in an established relationship?"

Yuuri's vision reeled. He wanted to answer everything except he did not know where to begin. Belatedly, they hadn't really talked about what they would say to the press when they revealed their relationship. Right now all the questions seemed harmless, natural curiosity on how a dime-a-dozen Japanese skater was with the living legend of figure skating.

Part of Yuuri wanted to shout to the world everything that Victor meant to him. Yet another, more selfish part, wanted to keep it all locked up. 'Who could really express all the things that flowed inside of him when he simply spent time with Victor?'

"I-uhh…" Yuuri stuttered, searching for the comforting sight of silver hair that was no where to be found. 'Wait…where was Victor?'

He rocked forward as an arm draped over his shoulders, "Ladies and gentleman of the press! As the gold medalist at the Cup of China, I am so thrilled you are here to be immortalized in a celebratory selfie with my best friend and newly crowned silver medalist!"

Phichit spun him around, phone extended on his trusty selfie stick, "Smile for the camera everyone!"

There were several chuckles at Phichit's antics as the photo was taken and he addressed the crowd, "Now, Yuuri and I had a bet on who would take gold at this event. Seeing as I won, he owes me dinner. So we shall bid you all goodbye for now because I'm starving!"

The arm around Yuuri's shoulders tightened as the reporters tried to get one last question in. Phichit just waved them off, dragging Yuuri away from the cameras and down the hall to the locker rooms.

"Thanks Phichit. Sorry you had to save me back there."

The Thai skater just laughed it off, "That's what friends are for."

Yuuri slumped as they stepped into the locker room, "Still… they should have all been swarming you. You're the one who won."

He flinched as Phichit flicked him gently on the forehead, "Stop getting stuck up in that head of yours. Who says they didn't swarm me? I had my fair share of questions to answer."

Yuuri nodded as he stripped out of his free skate outfit and into his street clothes, "Thanks again… you're a great friend Phichit."

"Of course I am that's why you love me."

"Who loves who?"

Yuuri spun around to see Victor stepping into the room, "You! Where were you Victor? I had to fight off the press asking questions all about us! All by myself!"

He stormed up to Victor, poking his index finger into the man's chest. Victor's eyes grew wide, the happy smile fading from his face, "I-uhhh…"

Phichit burst out laughing, startling both into looking in his direction, losing the intensity of their standoff, "Oh my god! Oh my god! He looked just like you in front of those reporters! Never thought I'd see the day that Yuuri Katsuki would scold Victor Nikiforov and stun him into silence."

Yuuri blushed furiously as Phichit doubled over in his laughter. He looked back at Victor to see his face stained with a similar flushed expression but worry still colored his eyes.

Reaching up, Yuuri cupped the back of Victor's head, pulling them into a kiss. He heard Phichit calm down to cheer his support. Deepening the kiss, Yuuri flicked his tongue along the seam of Victor's lips. The man was more than willing to oblige, opening to allow Yuuri to dive into the expanse, his tongue drawing Victor's into a dance.

"Oh looks like you boys may need us to leave soon, yes?"

They broke apart to see Chris standing next to Phichit. From the dripping water and towel hanging low on his hips, he apparently arrived from the showers sometime during their kiss. Yuuri pulled back, feeling a bit more self-conscious around someone other than Phichit.

Victor warmly greeted the newcomer, "Chris! Congrats on the bronze medal!"

Chris gave a nod of acknowledgment before turning to change into his street clothes, "So any plans for dinner?"

"Well Yuuri owes me for saving him from the reporters," Phichit winks smugly, "Would you like to join us?"

"Sounds like a plan."

Before Yuuri could even bring up the question again of why Victor hadn't been there to help instead of Phichit, Victor barged into the conversation, "Perfect! And I know just the place for us to go!"

And that is how Yuuri found himself in a chauffeured SUV heading towards an unknown destination with his boyfriend, his boyfriend's best friend and his own best friend. Yuuri just hoped whatever Victor picked was edible, he was starving.

The SUV drove for almost 30 minutes before they ended up in front of a very fancy hotel. Yuuri had no idea why Victor bothered to take them so far away for a dinner between friends, much less pick a restaurant in a four star hotel.

He drummed up the courage to ask only to have Victor shrug it off, "I wanted to indulge. After all I'm going to dinner with three medal winners."

Yuuri rolled his eyes but that was the end of the conversation on Victor's choice of locations. The four friends gossiped back and forth as they ordered, Phichit and Chris more than willing to share secrets about their best friends to see which could get the other to blush more. The food was delicious and Yuuri ended up eating way more than his training regimen allowed.

When the waiter came around with a cart of the most delicious looking desserts, Yuuri eyed them longingly but softly declined. Chris and Phichit both chose a small migas, a rich cake drizzled in caramel, with sugared kumquat and mandarin oranges. Victor asked for the pavolva, a huge slice of meringue topped with whipped cream, raspberry sorbet, tropical fruits and berries and finished with a thick passion fruit sauce. Yuuri tried not to stare as it was placed in front of Victor.

He took a sip of water, looking off into the room. When Yuuri turned back, he was startled to find the pavolva now sat in front of him, untouched, "Victor, you know I can't have this."

Victor smiled, taking a spoon and digging a bite out of the dessert, "Who says we can't share? Half won't be so bad. We can just add a couple minutes to our morning run."

Victor lifted the spoon up to Yuuri's lips, his eyes lidded, happiness emitting from every fiber of his being, "Congratulations Yuuri on your silver medal."

Yuuri warmly looked into Victor's eyes, pride at his accomplishment and the praise from Victor flooding through his body. He opened his mouth to take in the treat on the end of the spoon only to have something catch his attention from the corner of his eye.

"Phichit! Put the phone down now! I will not have you posting this on your social media."

Phichit deflated, faking a pout but lowering the phone, "You're no fun Yuuri."

Smirking in satisfaction, Yuuri leaned in and took the bite, the smoothness enveloping his tongue in flavors. After the first taste, Yuuri picked up his own spoon, both men sharing the dessert until not a drop was left.

Victor paid the bill and the rest of the group wandered back out into the lobby slowly. Yuuri was walking with Phichit and Chris until he was pulled to a stop when Victor grabbed his wrist. The other skaters turned when Yuuri dropped away.

"Well friends, you will have to ask for a taxi to take you back to the hotel. Sorry it won't be the nice ride we rode here in but I hadn't planned to need it after dinner. This is where Yuuri and I will be leaving you for the night. Congrats again on your medals."

Yuuri blinked, confusion written all over his face. 'They weren't going back to the hotel with Phichit and Chris?' The other two seemed to only take a heartbeat before they glanced at each other, giving knowing looks.

"Ahh you boys have fun," Chris winked and blew a kiss before heading toward the doors.

Phichit had a wicked grin across his face, "Ditto. Yuuri text me! But later! Much later." He cackled as he followed the Swiss man out the door.

Victor turned on his heels, guiding Yuuri further into the hotel. Yuuri was still trying to figure out what was happening as they waited at the elevators.

"Victor? What are we doing?"

They stepped into the elevator, Victor pushing the button for one of the top floors before he spoke, "Now that the competition is over it doesn't matter how close we are to the arena." He paused, eyes darting from the numbers, steadily climbing as they ascended to the upper floors, to Yuuri's bewildered face then back again. "I arranged for us to switch to this hotel for tonight… I didn't want to sleep alone again…"

Yuuri blinked, his heart flipping in his chest before invading Victor's space in the spacious lift. He took a hold of the lapel of Victor's suit jacket with one hand, the other resting firmly on his hip. Yuuri pulled him down the short distance between their height differences, his lips caressing and pushing firmly into the supple flesh. He tasted the familiarity of the pavolva as his tongue licked out to run along the edge of his lip and caught the lingering aftermath of the glass of wine Victor had with dinner.

As he deepened the kiss, he could feel the long fingers of Victor's right hand stroking the curve of his back through the layers of his clothes. Unfortunately the ding of the elevator made them pull apart, but not before he took Victor's hand so Yuuri could be led down the hall.

Victor pulled the key card out of his suit pocket and swiped it through the reader. A sharp click sounded and he pushed the door open to their new room. Yuuri gasped, the modern elegance of the layout drawing him in like a moth to a flame. It was decorated in rich browns and crisp whites, an entire seating area covered the entrance way. He could see a huge bathroom through double wide doors to his left, complete with a jacuzzi tub and a shower big enough to fit four adults comfortably inside.

He ignored both, kicking off his shoes before he moved further into the room. The main area was taken up mostly by the king sized bed, which at the moment looked extremely inviting when Yuuri remembered how little sleep he had in the past twenty-four hours. Instead of making a bee-line for the plush, soft looking, white sheet covered mattress, he continued past it. His eyes were locked on the floor to ceiling windows that consisted of one entire wall of their room.

The twinkling lights of Beijing danced in his eyes as Yuuri pressed a hand to the cool glass overlooking the city. It was beautiful and he took a minute just to soak it all in. He was watching the tiny cars maneuver their way through the streets when he felt Victor's presence behind him.

"Victor, when did you do set all this up?" his voice whispered out, breath puffing out to fog against the glass.

Victor cleared his throat, a little nervous chuckle at the end, "Well you know how you had to fend for yourself with the press at the end of the competition?"

Yuuri's head whipped around, body twisting enough to look straight at Victor but still keeping his hand on the glass. Victor sheepishly shrugged then ran his hand through his silver bangs. Yuuri's breath hitched, "So…you're telling me that when I was with the press, angry that you weren't there, you were setting all this up for us?" As the words came out he finally noticed their luggage, tucked against the far wall out of the way.

Victor looked at the floor, rubbing the back of his head with his hand, "Yeah, I-hmph!"

He couldn't finish the sentence because Yuuri had swiftly crossed the room, arms flying around his neck, hugging him flush against his body, "I'm so sorry Victor! I shouldn't have snapped at you!"

Victor laughed, holding Yuuri tightly, "No need to apologize. I got carried away and wasn't thinking. I should have been there with you even if I did want this for both of us."

Yuuri felt the lump in his throat, the way his stomach did flips at the thought of Victor eagerly talking on the phone to both hotels, the car service, the restaurant, and coordinating the move of all of their clothes, packed back into their luggage and whisked away to this room to wait for them. He fought back the choked sob that wanted to tear from his throat. 'Could this man be any more romantic?'

Yuuri wasn't great with words, an issue that had caused a few tense moments and arguments on more than one occasion. Even today could be blamed partially on his lack of communication, although Yuuri couldn't really have control of that when his anxiety takes over. He wasn't very good at actions either, not like Victor who had just made all of this possible. Sometimes he wished he could be better at both, for instance, a time like now.

He ran his fingers into Victor's silver locks, tugging at the base, tilting Victor's head to the left so he could have a stunning view of the pale expanse of his neck. Yuuri's tongue darted out, delicately licking a stripe from the base of Victor's neck, peaking out under the sharp, crisp white collared shirt, all the way up the stretched tendon.

He heard Victor's breathe pant out and he gave a satisfied smirk. Yuuri kissed the spot right below Victor's ear lobe, sucking the skin between his lips and was rewarded with a lingering moan. A few more laps of his tongue across the pressure point and Victor was putty in his hands, body pressed up against him.

Yuuri held on, clinging to the back of Victor's suit jacket. The room was cool, the bite of the late fall chill and the ambient temperature making him bury into Victor's warmth. He didn't want to leave that warmth but there were too many layers of clothes between Victor and him.

He pulled back, Victor's arms still circling him in comfort as he popped the buttons of the designer jacket. Victor let Yuuri do whatever he wanted and only let go of the younger man when the jacket was tugged off his shoulders. Once freed, it tumbled to pool on the floor at his feet. He cupped the side of Yuuri's neck with delicate fingers, watching the determination in his cinnamon brown eyes, his body silhouetted against the Beijing skyline.

Yuuri reached up with steady hands, tugging the stark white shirt out of Victor's pants, fingers going to work on the buttons. He made his way up from the bottom, loosening the tie enough to get to the last one hidden underneath. Now that Victor was on display, Yuuri reciprocated as he pulled the long sleeve shirt off that was covering too much of his own body.

Yuuri shivered as the air hit his now exposed skin. He dove into Victor, weaving his hands and arms between the loose hanging shirt and the delightfully pale skin. They held each other, chest to chest, rocking in their embrace to music only they could hear. Yuuri buried his head into the crook of Victor's neck, breathing in deeply, smelling the lingering of the ice, the restaurant, and the last traces of Victor's cologne that had been applied early that morning.

Silence filled the room, the hum of the city far below them barely registering to either occupant. Yuuri's eyes drooped and he sagged a little into Victor's arms. It had been a very long day and the lack of sleep and stress should have made him pass out on the bed by now.

Yet there was still a current coursing through his body, the thrill of his performance, the excitement of the kiss in front of all those people that left him craving something he only had thoughts of before but never acted on. He leaned back, able to take in the sight before him.

Victor, white shirt draped over pale ribs and pecs, toned from years on the ice. His silver bangs cascading over one of his ocean eyes, the other staring at him, swirling blue flames lighting a fire in his gut every time that gaze fell on him.

Yuuri lunged forward, capturing the man's lips, trying desperately to convey everything he felt for Victor into that one moment. Over the months they had been together, Victor's feelings and his own were like a mirror and he would take every chance he could get to prove that.

He pushed into Victor, rolling his hips, and the older man reciprocated right back causing both to exhale heavily through their noses with their mouths already so preoccupied. Victor leaned into Yuuri, making him take a step back to maintain his balance. Hands danced over him, one kneading into the edge of his shoulder blade and the other resting firmly at the base of his spine.

Yuuri had to take another step away as Victor pushed forward again, he could feel coldness radiating towards his exposed back from the glass he was mere inches away from. His skin rippled, flinching away from the chill and clawing towards the furnace of Victor's body in front of him.

The craving from before returned full force as he thought about the floor to ceiling windows behind him, their bodies on display for any who could see. Granted, they were so high up he doubted there was any risk at all. It was just the thought that sparked the desire inside, the one that he was so curious about, the one that he had been too afraid to ask for even though Victor stated on multiple occasions that he would be more than happy to have Yuuri give in to his curiosity.

Before he even realized he did it, Yuuri held onto Victor tight as he pivoted on the balls of his feet, lifting the man far enough off the ground to make sure he could do nothing but hold on as Yuuri spun them around and pressed Victor into the glass. Victor sucked in a startled breath as the cold seeped through his thin white dress shirt. He couldn't even catch that breath before Yuuri grabbed onto the back of his thighs, hitching him up the glass. Victor yelped, his eyes wide in shock as he wrapped his legs around Yuuri's waist and his arms around his neck.

Yuuri used the surface to help him with Victor's weight, pushing him into it as he leaned in to nibble on the shoulder that was now exposed from the swift actions. Victor moaned, heat and fire pooling in his groin as Yuuri was now slotted between his legs and his lips were exploring his body.

"Oh god Yuuri that was so hot," his eyes fluttered as he felt Yuuri lap at his collarbone.

Yuuri blushed, his nerves faltering for only a heartbeat until he shifted his weight and felt Victor's hard bulge against his own through the two layers of pants. He couldn't stop the tiny jerks of his hips as he thought of exactly where he was right now and what could happen if this continued. Yuuri wanted this to continue, to try this, to give this to Victor, one more thing he had never given to anyone else in his entire life.

He growled, grinding his hips forward and up into Victor's body trapped between him and the glass. Victor groaned, pushing right back, his legs wrapping in a vice grip around Yuuri's waist as his weight and gravity let him sink further onto Yuuri's crotch.

The filter on Yuuri's mouth seemed to come undone as they rubbed unhurriedly against each other, "Anyone could see us right now Vitya, could see me pressing you against this glass, ready to have my way with you," he accented his words at the end with a hard suck to the side of Victor's neck.

Victor whined, hips bucking not only from the lips devouring his neck but from the words that came so rarely and often needed to be coaxed out of the normally quieter man. Yuuri wanted to kiss everywhere, touch everywhere. His mouth trailed along Victor's chest, kissing from shoulder to shoulder, from his neck to his nipples. He swirled his tongue around one, eliciting a groan from the man in his arms.

Yuuri wanted to touch, to taste, but right now he could do only one as his arms were preoccupied with holding Victor up. He realized this may not have been the best decision in order to allow things to move forward. They were still half clothed, and from this position, would only get off with continued friction. It wasn't how Yuuri saw the evening going.

He whined in the back of his throat because he knew he would have to give up the heat of Victor's body, the feel of their arousals trapped between them. He panted against Victor's neck, willing his hips to slow down their involuntary bucking into the other man.

Victor's fingers tangled in his hair, pleading for Yuuri to continue to worship his body with his mouth. Instead Yuuri pulled back, lowering Victor's shaky legs to the ground and not letting go until he was sure that he could stand. Victor clung to him like an octopus, his head tilting to the side, silently asking if everything was ok.

Yuuri smiled, cupping his chin in the palm of his hand to plant a butterfly kiss across Victor's lips, "Let's take a shower, I didn't have one after the skate before you whisked us off."

He took the silken, expensive fabric of Victor's tie into his hand, tugging gently, drawing them both toward the enormous bathroom. Victor smirked, "Oh! Shower sex, how kinky my Yuuri."

Yuuri's face lit up in a flush, "I-I didn't say we would be doing that. I need a shower because I'm sweaty."

"Right. Right. Just like how you needed to see me silhouetted against the Beijing skyline and the only way to do that is to shove me up against the glass," Victor teased.

Yuuri rolled his eyes, letting the man go as he reached over to turn on the shower. He was happy to see the multiple shower heads, flicking through the options until he found the one that cascaded from the ceiling like rain. "Just strip already Vitya and get in the shower."

"Yuuri!" the man turned to see what had caught Victor's attention as he tested the water temperature, "Look! They have all kinds of oils and bubbles for the tub! We could take a long soak just like the hot springs!"

Yuuri smiled fondly as Victor picked through the different bottles, eyes alight like a kid in a candy store. It was a part of Victor that others rarely saw, one filled with child-like happiness at even the smallest things. He strode over to the man, fingers tracing up the curve of the man's spine, gaining Victor's attention away from the bath products.

"Maybe later Vitya," Yuuri played with the ends of the crumpled, loose dress shirt before moving to the man's shoulders and dragging it off his arms to fall on the floor. He took Victor's tie in hand again, wrapping his fist around it and jerking it harshly, "But for now, I'm not done with you yet."

Victor's eyes dilated, his lips parting, a sharp intake of air passing through them. Yuuri dragged the hand still damp from testing the water through his hair, the gel from his skate helping to keep it slicked back from his face. Victor was frozen, watching Yuuri shimmy out of his workout pant and boxers, leaving him naked in front of Victor's wandering eyes.

Folding his glasses on the sink counter, he smirked over his shoulder as he opened the glass door to the shower, "You coming or are you planning on just standing there?"

Victor jolted, realizing he hadn't moved. His fingers fumbled for his belt, unclasping it as he yanked both the pants and underwear down. He almost tripped as the material got tangled around his feet. Finally freed, he watched Yuuri's backside through the glass that was already starting to fog up, water cascading across his shoulders, the length of his spine, over his ass and down his gorgeous thighs.

He almost forgot to remove the tie before opening the door and joining Yuuri under the refreshingly warm water. Victor immediately wrapped his arms around Yuuri's stomach, body flush against the other, his half hard erection more than obvious to Yuuri.

"Impatient," Yuuri murmured turning in Victor's embrace.

Once again, Victor pressed forward, making Yuuri take a step backwards as their lips met. Yuuri grabbed Victor's hips, stepping into his space and making Victor move back. He broke the kiss, resting his head on Victor's shoulder as his hands wandered back to Victor's ass, cupping the perfectly round globes.

Victor hummed in appreciation, fingers massaging Yuuri's shoulder blades. Yuuri took a shaky breath, "Wash me?"

Victor was more than happy to follow that request. He reached over to grab the soap and cloth, cleaning whatever he could reach with Yuuri still in his arms. Victor used the shampoo to lather up Yuuri's hair, fingers massaging into his scalp. Yuuri leaned back, spine arching in a curve as he allowed the water to rain down on his face as Victor used his hands to rinse it. The entire time Yuuri never took his hands off of Victor's ass.

"Moya lyubov… you'll have to let go if you want me to clean everywhere," Yuuri just hummed, nuzzling into Victor's neck. Victor paused, "Yuuri? You are tired aren't you? Maybe we should get out and sleep. You had a long day with little rest."

Yuuri was tired, he couldn't deny that, but it was not the reason he was quiet. He was anxious for the next step, the one he knew he needed to take. 'What if Victor really didn't want to do it? What if he wasn't good at it? What if this caused them to take a step back in their relationship because of something he did?'

He sighed. If he didn't take a risk, he would never know. He straightened his shoulders, tongue darting out to lap up the drops of water making their way down Victor's neck. Yuuri gained courage from the mewl of excitement that escaped from Victor's mouth. His hand reached back further and he rubbed his fingers against Victor's opening.

The man in his arms froze and a split second later so did Yuuri. He didn't remove his hands from Victor's backside but he did stop touching him as he pulled far enough away to see what expression was on Victor's face. Yuuri feared seeing anger, rejection, disappointment, or a number of other emotions that his anxiety decided to conjurer up. The look he received was the one he knew in his heart Victor would give even if his head drowned it out.

Victor's ocean eyes sparked, excitement and longing radiating from every pore. Yuuri still had to voice his concerns, had to validate what his saw. He needed to make sure this wouldn't cause anything negative to happen between them.

"Is it ok, Victor? Do you really want to? I won't if you aren't interested. We can do it the way we always have. I just don't want –"

Victor silenced his rambling with a gentle thumb pressed over his lips, his voice wispy, "It is more than ok Yuuri. I want to. With you."

Yuuri stared wide eyed a split second longer, before detangling himself in a fidgety mess, groping at air as he tried to find the handle to the door behind him while still keeping his eyes locked on Victor, "W-Wait here. I'll be right back."

Victor stifled a laugh as Yuuri stumbled out the shower door, not bothering to towel off, slipping a bit on the fancy tile in his wet feet as he streaked into the bedroom. He sifted through his bag looking for the bottle of lube he knew he had packed. Growling, he almost upturned the whole thing in his desperation before he felt the bottle graze his fingers.

Latching onto it, he jogged back into the bathroom. Even through the slightly foggy glass Victor still took his breath away. The man was currently rinsing off some suds under the shower heads. Yuuri's reentry into the space caused Victor to give him his undivided attention.

"Sorry, had to get…" Yuuri fiddled with the bottle in his hand, clearing his throat, eyes darting to his feet before squaring his shoulders in determination, "I've never done this before. You have always made me feel comfortable, safe, and I trust you. I promise to do the same… you'll help with that right?"

Victor smiled warmly at Yuuri, "Of course my love." He wrapped his arms around Yuuri's neck, lightly grazing their foreheads together, "Don't think. Feel. Like you do every time you perform Eros. Like you did minutes ago when you lifted me up and shoved me against the window."

Yuuri's eyes lidded and he lunged forward to claim Victor's mouth. Victor followed Yuuri's lead, letting the younger man thrust his tongue deep inside his mouth. Yuuri wasted no time popping the cap on the lube, the sound echoing above the water as it bounced off the tiled shower walls.

He couldn't see what he was doing, his arms wrapped around Victor and still sucking on Victor's tongue. Luckily, he didn't need to as he squirted the lube on to his fingers, tossing the container to the corner. Yuuri paused long enough to see the lust in Victor's eyes and regain some air before he dove back in to reclaim his lips, his fingers spread between Victor's cheeks, circling his entrance.

Victor gasped against his mouth at the touch, his hips popping out to receive more of that feeling. Yuuri teased him, drawing the pad of his middle finger over the sensitive skin. Victor panted in anticipation, "Yuuri… mmmm…"

When Yuuri felt Victor relax against him, he slipped his finger inside. Victor groaned, slumping against Yuuri's body, clawing at his back as he wrapped his arms tightly around him. His finger was so warm inside of Victor and imagining what it would feel like to be buried fully in the man was sending all of his blood straight to his crotch.

As he started to prepare Victor, finger thrusting in and out before adding a second digit, Yuuri craved more of the man currently encased in his arms. He pressed his body flush against Victor, he wanted to feel every hard muscle enveloped in soft skin.

Yuuri grabbed the back of Victor's leg with his free hand, bringing it up to wrap around his waist. It gave him more access as he added a third finger. Victor moaned, his head lulling to the side to rest on Yuuri's shoulder. It gave him perfect access to Victor's shoulder and he took the initiative to suck on the wet slicked flesh, nibbling and tasting.

He curled his fingers, trying to find the spot Victor always did to make his vision swim. Yuuri knew he found it as Victor's back arched, head whipping up as he let out a strangled gasp. He caressed the spot, watching Victor's eyelashes flutter, his chest rise and fall with deep shuttering breaths.

He was the one making Victor feel like this. It was empowering to watch the other man fall apart from his touch. Yuuri wanted Victor to come undone, to give him the same experience Yuuri felt every time Victor made love to him.

He didn't realize his hips were now twitching with the same rhythm of his fingers thrusting into Victor or that he had increased the pace of his movements until Victor spoke, "Y-Yuuri… I want you… if you don't stop… I'm gonna…"

Yuuri stilled his movements and Victor sighed in the relief that he wasn't hovering on the edge anymore but whined because he desperately wanted to tumble right over it. Victor would love to have this last all night with Yuuri taking him on every surface of the hotel room but he knew that just wasn't possible. Yuuri had to be exhausted and Victor would be happy with whatever Yuuri was able to give. However, he was so pent up now for the promise of Yuuri being buried inside of him that he was afraid if they dragged this on for too long he may only get fingers and a hand tonight.

Yuuri removed his fingers slowly, releasing Victor's leg as well before cupping Victor's face in his clean hand, "I think you are ready."

The tone made it clear Yuuri wanted a confirmation from Victor, just to be sure. Victor swallowed thickly, nodding his head up and down as his heart pounded in his chest. Yuuri turned off the water, grabbed the bottle of lube then led Victor out of the shower. They both toweled off quickly before Yuuri pulled Victor back into the main room, leading him to the bed.

Victor took a few pillows from the top of the bed before laying down on his stomach, one clutched to his chest and the other waiting for Yuuri to position. Yuuri took in the sight and pursed his lips. It did not go unnoticed by Victor.

"What's wrong darling?"

Yuuri shuffled his feet, running his fingers through his still damp hair, slicking it back from his face. He tried not to frown but it was a losing battle, "I just… I was hoping… This is what you want? Do you want to do it like this?"

Victor's brows furrowed, unsure why Yuuri looked disappointed. He shrugged, "Frankly I don't care how we do it, I just want to feel you inside me. I only chose this because it will be easier on you. I know you are tired."

Yuuri's eyes softened and his lips upturned just a bit on the edges, "Thank you for thinking of me Vitya, but I really want to be able to see you..."

Quiet laughter bubbled out of Victor as he rolled over, getting to his knees and placing both his hands on the sides of Yuuri's face, "That sounds wonderful."

Yuuri tossed the lube container to the bed as Victor laid back down, this time facing Yuuri. He licked his lips at the sight of the man stretched out on the king sized mattress, pale skin surrounded by brilliant white sheets. Just as he was about to crawl onto the bed, Victor's eyes sparkled and he sat bolt upright, startling Yuuri.

"Yuuri! I have an idea!" Victor gave him the biggest, brightest puppy dog eyes, "Would you do me a favor?"

Yuuri wasn't sure if he should laugh or be concerned, "Uhhh sure. If I can."

Victor rested back into the sheets, silver hair splayed on the pillow he had been clutching to his chest earlier. His eyes focused seductively on Yuuri, fingers trailing down his stomach in feather light touches to rest around the base of his half hard cock, "Would you mind wearing your silver medal while you fuck me?"

Yuuri forgot how to breathe. 'Air? Who needed air? God, how can this man be so drop dead sexy all the time?' He did not know how long he stared, "I think I can do that." Yuuri winced as his voice was shaky and too high pitched in his own ears.

He spun on his heels, stiffly striding to his bag to sift through the pocket and reveal the shiny medal. His fingers brushed against something else and he ripped one off to take with him as well. Yuuri headed back to the bed where Victor was waiting patiently before slipping the silky ribbon around his neck, the weight and coolness of the medal resting against his skin.

Victor hummed in appreciation, "Perfect," he said before his eyes flickered to Yuuri's hand. It was Victor's turn to have a frown on his face, "Yuuri? Why do you have that?"

Yuuri was confused for a second before he realized Victor was talking about the condom package he had in his hand, "Oh. I… uhh… thought maybe you would want me to have it? I mean we discussed this for me but I didn't…"

Victor patted the bed and Yuuri followed the request, laying down next to him. The condom package was plucked from Yuuri's fingers and tossed somewhere into the spacious room over Victor's shoulder, "Never between us Yurri. No matter what we do. We already know that we are both safe to have sex this way. We don't need it."

Yuuri smiled, trailing fingers over Victor's side to rest on his hip, his throat too tight with emotions to form words. Victor gives Yuuri a puzzled look, "Why do you even have those anyway? We took all the necessary steps before we even did anything the first time."

Yuuri's face flushed bright red, his fingers twitching across Victor's skin, "…Well I didn't know… when we started dating… what could potentially happen so I wanted to be prepared… in case you know…"

Victor puffed out his chest, smile lighting up his face, "My Yuuri was thinking about sex with me before we even started talking about it! Naughty little kotyonok!"

Yuuri's grip tightened on Victor's hip and he rolled with him, pressing Victor down into the sheets as he hovered over him. His other hand grabbed Victor's wrist, placing it over his head and pinning him underneath his body. Yuuri sighed out softly, staring into Victor's eyes, "How could I not think of it? You are beautiful in every way possible Vitya."

Victor gasped as Yuuri planted his lips on Victor's nipple and sucked hard. He bucked his hips up, feeling Yuuri's hardness coming to life between his legs. Spreading his legs wider, Victor used his feet for leverage on the bed as he rolled his hips seductively against Yuuri.

Letting go of Victor's abused nipple, Yuuri arched his back, gasping into the room as he matched Victor's movements with his own. Eyes he didn't know he had closed, snapped open when Victor grabbed the heavy medal dangling from his neck and tugged.

Victor used the medal to pull Yuuri into a heated kiss, before whispering into his mouth, "I believe you have made me promises tonight with your words and your body. I think it's time for the silver medalist to claim his reward."

Yuuri growled, locking his lips with Victor's as he scrambled blindly for the bottle of lube. Once his fingers grasped the container, he pulled back, popping the top and spreading lube on his fingers. He immediately thrust two into Victor. The man below him howled as Yuuri curled the digit and rubbed against the spot inside him.

"Yuuri… Yuuri…" his keening moan wailed into the room, "You have already prepared me. I need you. Please."

Yuuri preened at the way his fingers were making Victor fall apart in his arms. He added a third finger, watching as Victor squirmed in the soft sheet, his cock leaking precum and sitting stiffly against Victor's abdomen. Victor panted, chest heaving as Yuuri thrust his fingers slowly into his heat. Victor was more than ready but Yuuri was drowning in the sounds tumbling from Victor's lips, needy and pleading, all for Yuuri's ears alone.

Victor scrambled at Yuuri's chest, clawing, as his hips started rocking into the pressure, searching for more. Yuuri pulled out his fingers, Victor whining at the loss as he tried to catch his breath. He distracted himself from the arousing view of Victor's body covered in a soft rosy flush from face to chest by reaching for the bottle again, slicking his dick in the lubrication.

Victor watched Yuuri prepare, eyes lidded with lust. After a few strokes, Yuuri took Victor in his arms, pulling them both up into a sitting position. He let his legs fall open on the bed, sitting Victor into his lap and guiding the man to wrap his legs around his waist.

Yuuri nuzzled into Vcitor's neck, breathing in the mix of the shower, sweat, and sex radiating off the man in his arms. 'Don't think. Just feel. Victor trusts him. They both want this.' He took a steadying breath before lifting Victor up to guide his entrance towards his cock.

Victor's breathing picked up, heart hammering in his chest as Yuuri pressed against him. He relaxed his body, allowing gravity to sink him down onto the hard shaft. Yuuri groaned as Victor's heat encased the head of his dick. He trembled, sensations igniting every nerve ending.

Yuuri fought the urge to buck up into the velvety sheath that was slowly surrounding his engorged flesh. Hands twitched, desperate to take hold of Victor's hips and force him down so that he would be completely encased and Victor would be filled with all Yuuri had to give.

Yuuri took a shaky gasp as Victor groaned, his insides pulsing against the intrusion. It wasn't until Victor sat fully in his lap, completely joined together, that Yuuri took a steadying lungful of air. Both men held onto each other tightly, clinging like they were each a lifeline and if they let go they would be lost.

Victor whined, kissing Yuuri's temple just along the hairline, his hot pants swaying the fringe of ebony bangs across his forehead, "Don't move yet… it has been awhile since I've done this. I think I got a little too excited."

Victor chuckled lightly at his own confession, the vibrations causing Yuuri to squint his eyes, turning his face away from the perfection of the man sitting on him, fingers digging into the muscles of Victor's back. He couldn't form words, in Japanese or English, but that didn't stop his thoughts. 'Victor wasn't the only one who had gotten too excited. Gods! Is this how it always feels? How does Victor not lose control when they have done this so many times?'

As he shook gently against Victor, Yuuri realized that maybe he was more tired than he had let on. It was probably one of the reason he was having such a difficult time focusing and why he felt pushed to the edge so fast. He trailed his fingers down Victor's spine, delighting in the little sounds that Victor graced him with.

Yuuri was not going to let his anxiety induced lack of sleep ruin this moment. He had to take care of Victor like the man always did for him. His hand wandered down the dip in Victor's spine, brushing delicately over the pert, round ass cheeks. Victor's breath hitched and he involuntarily twitched in Yuuri's lap, rocking his hips up and forward into his chest.

Both let out a groan, the movement causing Yuuri to shift inside, rubbing against Victor's tight walls. It was like the flood gates opening, neither could hold back now that they had moved. Victor rolled his hips, head tipping backward, eyes tightly shut as he pulsed against Yuuri's shaft.

Yuuri huffed out ragged breaths, holding himself back from moving except for the tiny thrusts he just couldn't will his body to stop. He grabbed handfuls of Victor's ass, pulling the cheeks apart and trying to get him even closer.

Victor moaned into the room and it had to be one of the best things Yuuri heard in his entire life. He grunted, lips latching on to Victor's shoulder and sucking hard. Victor convulsed in his arms, grinding down onto his lap. Yuuri was equal parts loving and hating his decision to put Victor in this position. On the one side, it felt amazing with Victor writhing against him, body bouncing up and down as he continued to take Yuuri within his body. However, on the other side, Yuuri couldn't do much more than lightly thrust, he had no leverage, every cell in his body screaming to snap his hips and pound into the tightness enveloping him.

By now, Victor was a mess, his silver hair plastered to his forehead with a sheen of sweat, whispered praises slipping in between gasping breaths, needy whines, and loud satisfying moans. The medal around Yuuri's neck was no longer cool to the touch. It was a searing brand against both of their chests, embracing the heat radiating from both of their bodies, combining into one fiery symbol of their passion.

Yuuri cradled his hips as he let Victor lean back away from him, allowing the man to position himself with his upper body weight supported on the mattress by one arm. The cool air of the room danced across their now separated damp skin. Yuuri shivered slightly at the loss of warmth but allowed Victor to chase what he needed as the man experimentally rolled his hips at the new angle.

Victor cried out into the room, his thighs squeezing Yuuri's sides as Yuuri felt the head of his cock press against Victor's prostate. He guided Victor's hips to continually hit the spot that made such delicious noises escape Victor's lips. Yuuri's hips and thighs quivered with the urge to drive deeper, feel more of Victor.

He couldn't get the proper leverage so he did the next best thing. Yuuri gripped Victor's hips, right above the dip of his hipbones and pulled the man down onto his lap roughly. Victor moaned lewdly into the room, "Yuuri, again!"

He didn't stop, forcing Victor down onto him. Victor willingly followed every push and pull, with Yuuri in full command of his body. Yuuri eased up on his grip, one hand caressing Victor's gorgeous thigh and the other to take Victor's erection.

Victor jerked at the touch to his neglected manhood, his breathing becoming erratic as he lost himself to the pleasure. He rocked hard on Yuuri's lap, all sense of a rhythm was long gone. Yuuri bit his own lip, trying desperately to hold on, not wanting to finish before he satisfied Victor.

Victor bucked his hips forward into Yuuri's hand then slammed back down onto his lap. It took only a few more strokes and a twist of Yuuri's wrist to have Victor arch over him, back bowed and head tipped back as he came against Yuuri's stomach. He had to use both arms to keep himself from falling back onto the bed, his body still pulsing as he rode out the intense sensations crashing over him.

"Yuuri…" Victor exhaled shakily into the air, "Wow… your stamina... I can't believe you've barely slept, skated an amazing free skate while physically and mentally exhausted and yet you still have this much control."

Yuuri blushed which caused Victor to laugh considering his words were nothing compared the fact that Yuuri's cock was currently buried, rock hard, inside of Victor. He wished his stamina was as good as Victor boasted so he could make love to him all night long, but Yuuri could feel himself getting tired, not sure if he even had enough left to finish himself off.

Yuuri held onto Victor with one arm, rising up off the mattress with the other to tuck his legs under himself and balance his weight on his knees. Victor whined in his ear as his shifting causes him to overstimulate every place inside that Yuuri was touching.

Victor was now splayed across the bed underneath Yuuri, legs spread wide to accommodate everything Yuuri had, "Come on Yuuri. Take what you need. I want to make you feel good."

Yuuri groaned at the words, placing a gently kiss across Victor's lips. Tentatively, he thrust into Victor, finally able to get the leverage to move the way his body had been dying to do. Victor clutched onto his shoulders, fingers digging into the flesh as he whined in the back of his throat.

He was emboldened by Victor's sounds, increasing his pace, grunting as he bottomed out every time, hips slapping into thighs and filling the room with noise. His arms and legs were starting to shake, muscles protesting to his long and grueling day as he rutted into Victor.

Yuuri slowed, rolling his hips in slow circles. Victor moaned quietly, eyes darting from Yuuri's face to the medal, dangling and shimmering in the twinkling lights of the city as it rocked like a pendulum in the air between their bodies.

"Vitya… I'm so glad you showed up in the onsen all those months ago… anata wa watashi no sora hoshi desu… "

Victor choked on the lump in his throat, eyes sparkling before he gasped out, too spent from earlier to cause any more of a mess but trembling as pleasure coursed through his body. Yuuri leaned over to kiss him through it, soft and supple in its quiet reverence of Victor.

He cradled the back of Victor's head, sweet and gentle as he increased the speed of his thrusts. Yuuri didn't know how Victor could be so loose and yet tight at the same time but the man's body was giving him no resistance. Groaning, he jerked his hips hard, burying himself deeper over and over until finally he cried out into the room as he released inside of Victor.

Yuuri collapsed in an unceremonious heap on top of Victor's chest, his own rising and falling heavily. Victor murmured soothing words, stroking his hands through his hair and occasionally kissing the top of his head.

As he laid there, wanting nothing more than to fall asleep in Victor's arms, he was surprised his anxiety hadn't crept up on him during the height of their lovemaking. New or uncertain things always had a tendency to increase his panic. Yuuri was fine because he had Victor. Victor, who took all the flaws and didn't care that sometimes he was a complete wreck. Victor, who would stand by him, believe in him.

"Moya lyubov, don't fall asleep on me yet. Let's clean up first so it isn't uncomfortable tomorrow morning."

Yuuri realized he was still deep inside of Victor, evidence of the man's pleasure now sticky between their chests. He should have been up, giving Victor the aftercare he deserved. Yuuri flushed as he slowly pulled himself out, "I'm sorry Victor! My tiredness is no excuse."

Victor just chuckled, "Too many apologies tonight for stuff either out of your control or not even your fault. No more ok?"

Yuuri blinked at Victor as he swung his legs over the edge of the bed. He gave a curt nod of his head to show his acceptance before wobbling to his feet, he really was rather exhausted now. Yuuri stumbled into the bathroom door frame before he noticed that Victor was right next to him, a steadying hand on his elbow.

Before Yuuri could argue about Victor joining him instead of waiting in bed, the man steered him into the bathroom, "Seems a shame to stay out there when this shower is so amazing. I really want to try it again."

Yuuri could tell Victor was attempting to appease him and it worked, weariness preventing him from arguing. They both hopped into the shower after Victor removed Yuuri's medal, placing it gently on the counter. Yuuri cleaned Victor through his weak protests of it being ok if Yuuri was too tired. He saw the light tinge of red to Victor's cheeks and the sparkle in his eyes, betraying that he was more than thrilled with Yuuri's dedication to taking care of him after sex.

It wasn't long before they finished and made their way back to the bed, throwing off the ruined top cover and laying beneath the thick, expensive sheet. Yuuri tangled his legs with Victor's, the length of him flush against Victor's torso, body heat seeping into his skin, into his bones.

Victor broke the silence with a whispered question to the top of his head, "So how was your first time topping?"

Yuuri gave a big yawn before answering, "Mmmmm, was wonderful… but…"

"But?"

He was having a hard time focusing, eyelids drooping, speech slurred and gravely, "Prefer bottom,"

Victor's lip quirked up in a little half smile, "Oh? And why is that?"

Yuuri barely got the words past his lips, mumbling so much it was almost incoherent, "Top is too much work…"

Victor stifled a laugh, ready to rib his lover for his blunt, sleepy answer, "Awww my Yuuri, god of stamina, finds it too difficult to make love to his boyfriend. I'm wounded."

Yuuri jerked his head up, blushing, his brow furrowed with worry, "That's not what I meant! I said that wrong. I-I may have been more exhausted than I let on," Victor hummed in agreement to his words. "Next time I should make sure I'm not so tired. Other than that, I prefer bottom because…" Yuuri blushed fire red, turning his head into Victor's neck, "… I like you inside me. Filling me. Is it ok to have a preference?"

Victor cooed happily, "Having a preference doesn't mean we can't switch, we both seemed to enjoy it, da?"

Yuuri's eyes sparkled as he nodded enthusiastically. Victor brushed his fingers down the arm Yuuri was resting across his chest, lifting the hand to his lips to place a kiss on Yuuri's knuckles. Yuuri sighed out in contentment against Victor's neck, lips pressing delicately against his pulse point as Victor embraced him tighter. It only took a minute before Yuuri fell asleep in Victor's arms. Victor watched him sleep, illuminated by the city lights, making the natural color of Yuuri's skin glow as he wondered how he ever got so lucky.

Yuuri woke to both warmth against his chest and his back. He opened his eyes to the glow of the sun lighting up the room from the windows he had pressed Victor against last night and the pale chest he was currently snuggled up into.

"Morning,"

Yuuri's gaze turned upwards and he was blinded by something even brighter than his surroundings. It was Victor's smile. He smiled back, brown eyes with flakes of gold taking in the sight of his boyfriend just waiting to greet him. Yuuri cuddled even closer, leg locking around Victor's thigh.

"Good morning Vitya. Have you been up long?"

Victor played with Yuuri's fingers that were currently splayed across his chest, "No not long. You were so tired yesterday, I didn't have the heart to wake you. Besides we have nowhere to be this morning, so we can indulge a little." Yuuri hummed in response, reciprocating Victor's touches with his own fingers. "I thought we could have a late breakfast, do some sightseeing, maybe even meet up with Chris and Phichit."

"Great ideas… but before we do…," Yuuri shifted in the sheets, climbing on top of Victor, straddling his hips, "I believe we had a friendly competition at the rink yesterday." He brushed Victor's hair back as he leaned further down into him, "If I recall, it was who could get who 'off 'more. So far I'm winning and I think I'm ready to increase my lead with round two."

A/N: Soooo mean of me to drop that floofy fluff flashback only to follow up with angst central XD Kind of a tease with that couch scene wasn't I? You all were expecting smut there too, am I right? XD Sorry I just really wanted the FEELS for that part LOL

Hopefully the end smut makes up for it! ^_^

So this was probably the last of the flashbacks… maybe lol. Which potentially means the chapters will be shorter. Which could mean more frequent updates hopefully ^_^

Then again I could just end up writing 15k words worth of present stuff/smut *shrugs* I go where my muse takes me!

moya lyubov - my love

Dorogoy - darling

Kotyonok - kitten

anata wa watashi no sora hoshi desu - you are the stars in my sky (in Japanese… I hope lol)

Victuuri for life!