Hey everyone! So, this was hanging around bugging me. I know some are waiting for a second part to one of my other stories. I am working on it but I am also a graduate student and trying to write something that will hopefully be good enough for publishing. Anyways, onward and upwards. Regular disclaimers not mine, no money, etc. etc. Please leave constructive reviews, comments, or suggestions. This is pre-established Rizzles and not exactly happy but it has potential. All mistakes are mine and mine alone! Thanks to everyone as always! K. X. O' Conner

Always and Forever

Jane lifted her head from her desk and rubbed her blurry eyes with the back of her hand. Sleepily she looked around her and glanced at the time on the computer screen in front of her.

Shit. It's 1 am. What I am I still doing here? Oh no. Maura. The bull pen had long since been abandoned by the other detectives and officers each going home to their families and lives. She had only been planning on staying until 11. Something about this case was eating her and would not let go. Quickly, she gathered her weapon from her locked drawer and her jacket as she ran for her car. Maura is going to kill me.

As quickly as she could without turning on her siren and lights she made her way to Beacon Hill where Maura and she had been living together for almost two years. Everyday Jane thanked the Lord up above for allowing her to find the one person who could not only touch her scarred hands but her heart as well. As she pulled into the drive way she noticed that all but the security lights and a lamp in the living room were turned off. Janes stomach felt uneasy. I have to stop doing this to her.

It had been a rough seven months in Boston, especially for homicide. More often than not, Jane wound up spending extremely long hours at the precinct and continually found herself in dangerous and life threatening situations. In the beginning, the medical examiner had been understanding. They had been assigned to the same case but despite this, Maura's job was often completed before Jane and the rest of the detectives had closed them, and Jane could not seem to leave work at work. Lately, Maura's frustration had been growing. She didn't mind Jane putting in the long hours with everyone else, she more than anyone could understand that. However, the detective often stayed after everyone else had left and worried that Jane was becoming unhealthily obsessive. Lately, she came home and seemed increasingly distant. Maura was used to indifference but not from Jane and certainly not when it came to their relationship. Jane had always been attentive and showed interest in making a life for them both, but lately is seemed she had become more and more disinterested and disconnected and even long talks and intermittent fights had not gotten the detectives attention.

Maura had spent too many late nights sitting up, worrying, and waiting for the call that would devastate her world and now it was becoming more than she could bear. That is why she found herself sitting on the couch with a glass of wine and tears in her hazel eyes. She didn't move as she heard the key turn in the lock as Jane entered their home. Jane sat her keys on the counter as she saw an abandoned dinner and heard the sound of a light sniffle. Glancing toward the couch she could just see the back of Maura's head peeking above the suede cushion. Slowly, she walked around the couch her heart immediately breaking by the sight she saw before her. Maura was wearing the soft flannel pajamas she had given her as a gift along with the pink fuzzy slippers. Jane had bought them as a joke never intending for the prestigious and refined Dr. Isles to wear them. Somehow though, Maura had smiled and fell in love with the goofy gift, a very opposite reaction to the one she was seeing now. She knelt on the floor next to the doctor her concern growing immediate as she saw the tear stains on her face.

"Maura? What's wrong? Did something happen? Are you alright?" Jane reached for the small hands but was surprised when they were gently moved away.

"No. No, I'm not ok." She wiped her eyes again as she saw fear in the beautiful dark eyes she had loved for so long.

"What is it? What's happened?" Maura looked quickly away and then back again. She hated being the one making the brave woman in front of her fearful.

"You Jane. You happened." Jane sat back on her heels and looked confused.

"Me?" Oh no, what have I done? Her heart squeezed painfully in her chest.

"Yes Jane. You." I can do this. I have to do this. Brown puppy dog eyes stared back at her. Jane shook her head as if clearing cobwebs from her mind. "I don't understand?" Maura sighed and moved to the edge of the couch where she squared her shoulders while folding her shaking hands into her lap.

"Jane, I love you. I have given you my heart, my soul…just everything." The brunette let out the breath she hadn't realized she had been holding.

"I love you too Maura." The honey blond held up her hand stopping Jane from speaking any further.

"and that's why I can't do this anymore." Hazel eyes closed as tears fell and she heard the sharp intake of breath from the woman kneeling in front of her.

"What are you talking about?" Jane started to shake as panic began to set in.

"Jane, you are a beautiful, smart, dedicated woman." Jane opened her mouth but Maura continued, "and those are just some of the qualities I fell in love with. I have watched you shoot yourself, jump from bridges to save an innocent man. I can't do that anymore. You are not here Jane. You're not with me. You are not mine. You belong to them. Every time you are late I imagine the worst, when you are home you are still at work. It's all we ever talk about anymore." The tears were steadily streaming down her face now.

"I'm so sorry Maura. I swear I can do better. I will call if I'm going to be late, I will sit behind a desk, I will do anything you ask me to. Please just don't do this." The pleading from Jane almost broke her resolve. Sometime during Jane's plea, she had allowed Jane to pull her hands to her chest. Maura could feel the detectives heart beating fast and hard. Jane gave up any attempt to stop the tears that were flowing quickly now.

"That's just it Jane, I would never ask you to change. Doing these things are what make you who you are. The people of Boston need officers and detectives like you." Jane bowed her head and then looked up back into Maura's eyes.

"but I need you. Please don't do this to us. Please." Jane lowered her forehead onto Maura's knees and sobbed.

"I'm so sorry Jane. I will always love you and need you, but I can't take this anymore. You love and live for your job, I need someone who does those same things for me." Maura ran her fingers through the dark curls spread over her knees as they cried together. The next morning Maura awoke from an uncomfortable sleep on the couch. She sat up and replayed the night in her head and new tears sprang to her eyes. They had held one another until they had both fallen asleep. The last night they would share together.

During the night, Jane had awoken in the doctors' arms and laid watching her sleep for most of the night. After a while, she silently extricated herself from the honey blonde's arms and tip toed to the bedroom to pack her bags. Once she was done, she took off her key to the house and slipped it onto the kitchen counter as she felt hear heart shattering. Setting her bags by the door she slipped a note and a green velvet box onto the coffee table where Maura would see it when she woke up. I will love you Maura always and forever. Hot tears began making their way down her cheeks.

Maura came out of her thoughts and spied the white paper and velvet box in front of her. She took a deep breath and opened the note, immediately recognizing the left handed bold pen strokes, the note read:

Maura,

You were right in what you said. You deserve so much better than a blue collared loud mouth Italian police detective. I am so sorry that I hurt you in any way. I only hope one day you will forgive me and we will find each other again. I will do everything in my power to show you that I can change, will change, want to change, for you and you alone. The box is a gift I bought for you. I was waiting for the perfect time to give it to you, I guess now is as good a time as any. I hope you like it. I love you Maura. More than any one person could love another. Anyways, I am going away for a while, but I will be back. Remember my family will always be your family and please know that I will love you always and forever.

Eternally yours,

Jane

Maura wiped away stray tears that had escaped. Will these tears never end? She carefully grasped the green box and leaned back into the corner of the couch. Slowly and gently she rubbed the soft velvet. Slowly, she opened the lid and had to cover her mouth to stifle the sobs that threatened to overtake her. She remembered. Inside the box was a white gold 24 karat locket with a green emerald nestled in the center. They had been shopping in the mall when Maura had stumbled upon it in an Irish gift shop. She remembered telling Jane that it was beautiful but that she had plenty of other jewelry to wear. Jane had argued that it didn't matter if she NEEDED it or not, and said that sometimes pretty things just needed a beautiful owner. Maura handled the delicate locket and opened it to reveal a picture of them unaware of the camera staring into each other's eyes. Maura held it close to hear heart and cried silent tears until she again fell asleep as thoughts of Jane crossed her mind. Always and Forever.