Chapter 3

Inside Spike gave a look to Angel and Angel nodded his head over to the hallway. Spike walked over away from everyone with Angel, and they walked down the hallway slightly until they were more towards the dining room.

"She's going to get killed." Angel started off.

"I know. Just like you know those wankers are not gonna do anythin' to help her. All they are gonna do is pressure her right back into doin' everythin'."

"She can't go back, not like this. You need to convince her to stay."

"You want her here with me?" Spike asked shocked that Angel would ever suggest that. Spike had been planning on talking to Buffy about staying later on when they got a chance alone, but he never thought Angel would ever be all for that idea.

"She needs to be where Dawn is, and Dawn is refusing to leave. I would take Buffy with me to L.A, but it's too close to the others. She needs a fresh start, a chance to heal. She has a chance to heal here. I think it would be good for her until she's strong again."

"I'll talk to her about it, but I can't force her to stay."

"There's also another issue we need to discuss. You are at a serious risk here Spike. You've been lucky that word hasn't gotten out about this yet. Once it does get out, it's going to spread like wildfire. Every Master Vampire will be coming after you to claim you as their own. They'll want you more than anyone because of your blood. You'll be the most valuable slave on the market."

"I'm well aware of that," Spike said clearly not happy about the reminder.

"The only way to protect yourself from being claimed is to be claimed as a Childe from another Master Vampire."

"I'm aware. Not really about to go lookin' for some Master Vamp to claim me as his new bitch, ta though."

"I'm not saying you find some vamp. I'm suggesting I claim you as my Childe. That will at least protect you from being claimed as a slave. It won't stop someone from trying to kill you or capture you, but it will keep you from being claimed."

"You want to claim me as your own?" Spike said shocked and clearly unsure how he felt about it.

"Want, no. But I think it's something we should do. You did this for Dawn, for Buffy; something I couldn't do. The least I can do is help to keep you and her safe."

"You do realize we'll be connected. You've never wanted that. You made it perfectly clear that you didn't."

"I know, but things are different now. Spike, even standing here I can feel your demon screaming for this to happen. You can feel it pulling you to do this. What's going to happen when you cross paths with another vampire looking to do the same? Your demon won't be able to resist for long. At best you'll be some mindless minion, but at worst you'll be destroyed beyond repair. I'm offering you some protection. I know what it would mean for us, and I'm still offering."

Spike let out a sigh and Angel could see that he wasn't sure about all of this, but he knew he was racing against the clock that he wouldn't be claimed by someone else. Spike didn't have much of a choice.

"Well, I don't have much choice. Better you and someone else. Plus if I do get grabbed you'll at least be able to find me. So that's a bonus."

"I will be able to, and I will come for you. No matter what Spike remember that. I'll come for you."

Spike gave a nod before he spoke. "Now or later?"

"Might as well do it now."

Spike just moved away and headed up the stairs so they could do this in his room. He didn't fancy Dawn walking in on them. Angel easily followed Spike up into his room. Once there Angel closed the door and took a second to take in Spike's room. He had his own bathroom and balcony. He also had an electric fireplace by his bed, a dark red rug on the floor, a king size bed, a dresser, television, a coffee table and a couch in the room. It was a rather large size room because even with that stuff in it there was still a good amount of room to walk around in.

"This is a nice place."

"Ya, it is. Big difference than my crypt."

"How are you liking it? I know you love being a vampire. You never wanted to be human again."

"No, but this time around is better than the first. At least I can still go out at night and fight some random vamp or demon coming into town. It's not so bad. Got used to it. It's been lonely though. People at work know me, but they only know part of me. It's exhaustin' havin' to hide who I really am. Don't matter." Spike said with a shrug.

"It does matter Spike. What you did was completely selfless and went against everything in you. You did something I could never do. I'm proud of you for doing this. And whenever you feel like you're losing yourself or drowning in the lie, I'm only a phone call away."

"Ta mate." Spike said with a small smile.

Angel went over to Spike and placed his hand against Spike's cheek. Spike closed his eyes for a moment before he opened them and turned his head slightly offering it up to Angel. Spike didn't even realize he had done it and it was a clear sign to both of them just how much pain his demon truly was in. Spike never submitted no matter what he went through, he never submitted. Angel shifted his face and bent down to Spike's neck. He whispered into Spike's ear before biting.

"Nice and gentle."

Spike still braced for the pain as he could clearly remember how much it hurt when Drusilla did it that first time, not to mention every bite from her afterward. Angel could feel Spike tense up and it was obvious that his words didn't offer any comfort to him. Angel sucked on Spike's neck to bring the blood up closer to the surface. When Angel thought Spike was ready, he gently slid his fangs into Spike's neck. Spike felt the slight pain of the prick, but afterward, he was surprised to see that Angel didn't start tearing into him. He was gentle and slow with the pulls, not taking too much just enough for this to work. After three pulls, Angel spoke.

"My Childe."

"My Sire." Spike easily replied, and he could feel his demon purring at finally belonging to someone again.

Angel removed his fangs and licked the marks to seal them before turning his head and guiding Spike down to his neck. Spike repeated the process with Angel and made sure that he went slowly as not to hurt Angel, his new Sire. After a few pulls, Spike spoke.

"My Sire."

"My Childe."

They could both feel the response with Spike's demon. Angel's demon didn't have much of a reaction as Spike was still family to his demon. It was Spike's demon that had spent the past six months in turmoil and pain of being all alone. Spike would have lost all connection to Drusilla when Spike cut the demon off from its world. Spike would have had to do it to keep his demon in check during the first couple of months he took on Dawn. Angel knew that Spike would have been in pain, but he didn't expect it to be this bad. Angel could feel exactly how much pain the demon had been in and how dangerously close Spike was to his demon taking control and refusing to fight against the next vampire. A demon has to belong to another demon in some way. Within a week Spike could have been lost to them for good.

Spike pulled back, and Angel could see more peace within his eyes again.

"Maybe now I won't pass out anymore." Spike said softly trying to get his emotions back behind the wall.

"What do you mean pass out?" Angel asked with concern.

"Happens once or twice a month. The demon can't take anymore, and I pass out for about a day or two. It's been a lot harder than I thought it would be." Spike softly admitted.

"Demons are naturally social things. They live in clans with their family. They need people around them. You were like that when you were human, and that only was made worse in your death. You weren't made to be alone in the world. It hurts you too deeply. I'll keep the connection open on my end, so you'll always feel someone there. Hopefully, that'll help."

"Thank-you for doing this."

"We're family it's what we do. We're all that's really left out of it. We're on the same side again; we shouldn't be trying to kill each other. I'll be there if you need me."

"I'll be there for you."

Spike went and removed the magical chain around his neck. The windows were all special tinted so that the UV rays wouldn't affect him. Spike had it installed as a backup in case something ever happened to the necklace. He handed it over to Angel as he spoke.

"You can't keep it, but an hour or two out in the sun won't kill you."

Angel gave a small smile as he took the gold chain. "Maybe I should have Wes look into something like this. For emergencies."

"Or for when you feel like being in the sun for a few minutes. You can be a creature of the night and still walk in the light you know."

Angel put on the chain as he spoke. "Maybe you're right. It's not like I need sleep."

"I need sleep. Now more than I ever used to. I'm lucky if I can go two days without sleep anymore."

"It might get better now. Your demon seems happier."

"Feels happier. Time will tell I guess. We should head back down before the others think we've killed each other."

"Probably."

They both headed out of the room and back down the stairs. Spike went as close to the door as he could before the sun would be too bright. Angel walked out to see that everyone was outside finishing dinner. They all looked at him as he stepped into the sun and gave a smile.

"Really?" Dawn asked Spike with a smile.

"Figured an hour wouldn't hurt." Spike said with a shrug.

"Where did the bite mark come from?" Dawn asked as she got closer with the burgers finished.

"Just added protection. Nothin' to worry about Bit."

"You bit each other?" Giles asked now very interested.

"We claimed each other. It will help with Spike's demon, and it will stop any vampire from trying the same thing with him." Angel said as he looked up into the sun.

"Oh cool." Dawn said from inside the kitchen.

"Yes, that is rather fascinating. Will you both be able to feel each other even that far apart?" Giles asked.

"As long as the connection is open we can. The connection means I can feel if Spike is captured or in danger." Angel answered.

"Dinner is ready." Dawn called out.

"I'll be there in a minute." Angel said.

Giles went in, and Spike could tell that Angel wanted a word with Buffy, so he turned and headed over to the counter to grab his food. Angel went and sat down next to Buffy who was sitting quietly in one of the patio chairs.

"What's on your mind?" Angel asked gently.

"Why him and not you. I don't understand. You said it would be impossible for you or any demon or vampire to take on a human child. Yet Spike did it. The world no longer makes sense. You say you love me and I believe you because you have a soul so that must mean you can love and feel real love. But the love you have for me wasn't strong enough for you to take on Dawn. Spike claims to love me, and he's a soulless demon who shouldn't be able to feel any emotion much less love someone. Yet he took on Dawn and a human life basically. Why could he do it and not you? Does that mean he really does love me? Can he love without a soul? He must right because then being there for Dawn wouldn't have mattered to him. I don't understand." Buffy said clearly confused and feeling overwhelmed.

"You've always been told the world is black and white. Demons and vampires are bad, humans are good. I've always gone along with it because it was better than you second guessing yourself out in the field. But the truth is Buffy; the world is gray. There are hundreds of different demon breeds that feel love and every human emotion there is and are completely innocent and harmless. They work just like humans do. Your prisons are full of people with souls that had committed crimes that I have when I was evil. Vampires don't tend to feel emotions. Their demons don't care for them as you've seen. But Spike is different. He's rare. Because he is capable of feelings and love. He loved Drusilla for over a century. He put up with everything she did to him. Most would have left closer to the beginning, but he stayed because he loved her. And as much as I hate saying this. Spike took care of Dawn because he loves you. He doesn't hunt and kill even though he can now because he loves you and Dawn. Spike doesn't need a soul to be good. That's what makes him rare."

"But why doesn't he? If he can do that then what's the point of a soul? What makes him so different?"

"I don't know. He's always been different. Always been gentle and kind. He's dangerous, but only when he has to be. A lot of what he did when he was evil was because of Angelus or to keep Drusilla. I don't know why he is the way that he is, but if you're worried about Dawn with him, you don't have to. Spike is loyal to her, to you. His loyalty and love is his soul."

"Seeing him with her, seeing him out here cooking dinner. He seems so human, but then I remember all the times he tried to kill my friends and me. All the aggravation he put me through. It's hard to believe it's the same person."

"Believe me I know, but deep down he's always been this person. He's just never had the chance to show it. Buffy, I don't think you should go back."

"I have to. It's my job, my duty. I have to go back. Besides where else would I go?"

"Stay here. You're welcome to come back home with me, but I think being with Dawn would be better for you. Plus being far away from that old life as well."

"Dawnie wants me to stay, but I can't just show up on Spike's doorstep looking to stay. He's done enough for me; he's still doing too much for me. I don't have any right to add more to his pile."

"He wouldn't see it that way. Spike takes care of people, it's what he does, and he does it really well. Better than anyone I've ever seen. He wouldn't think twice about taking care of you and helping you get better. Just think about it."

Buffy just gave a nod and Angel wasn't too sure if she actually would or not. Angel could tell she needed some space, so he got up and headed down off the back deck. He figured he would look around the grounds for a bit as there wasn't much sunlight left in the day. He didn't know when he would be able to be outside again so he wanted to get as much sunlight in as he could.

It was after dinner and after the sun had set did Spike finally get some time alone with Buffy. Spike went out for a smoke on the back deck to see Buffy sitting down on the steps leading off of the deck. Spike went over and sat down beside her, forgetting all about his smoke.

"How are you doing Luv?" Spike asked gently.

"Fine. Dinner was good." Buffy said softly, and Spike could tell she was anything, but fine.

"You're not fine Luv. How could you be after everythin' that's happened to you in the last few days? Hell, even the months before your death. You get to be not okay."

"That's just it. I don't get to be not okay. I have to leave tonight to go back there. Back to Hell and fight all over again trying to keep the world from ending. Knowing that if I fail, I've killed millions of people. Go back to find a job and pay bills. Figure out what I'm going to do with the house and everything in it. I get to flip burgers and then try not to die at night. That's going to be my life now until I die."

"That's where you're wrong Luv. No one said that had to be your life. Before ya, you were the only one, but you're not anymore. They got a Slayer. They just don't want to put effort into getting her out of prison and workin' with her. It's your life, not theirs, not the Council of Wankers, not the Watcher. Yours. You get to dictate how you want to live it. You can choose to go back to Hell and fight until you eventually just give up and die. Might take a few days, might last a few more years. Not likely, but maybe. Or you can decide to make your own piece Heaven on Earth."

"Ya and how would I even do that?" Buffy asked sounding so lost it broke Spike's, heart.

"You decide who you want to be. You don't even know who Buffy is to you. All you know is the Slayer because that's all anyone has ever let you been. You're more than a Slayer. You're a woman, a person, a human being. You get to decide what life you want, especially now that there are two of you. You have no idea how amazing you are Buffy. Not the Slayer, but Buffy. I've seen parts of her over the years, and I can say with complete certainty that she is the most amazing woman I have ever met in my entire existence and that's a tall order to fill Luv. Don't be so quick to dismiss her."

"I don't even know what I would do, where I would go."

"You wouldn't go anywhere. You'd stay here with people who actually care about you beyond how many ways you can protect them. And do? Do whatever you bloody well like. If you want to patrol, patrol. You want to go to school, go to school. You want to spend three weeks curled up in bed hating the world do that. Focus on one day at a time before trying to figure out the rest of your life. Stayin' wouldn't be running away from somethin'. It would be runnin' to somethin'. You deserve to have a good life. You've died twice for this world, more than any Slayer ever has. You did your duty. You paid your price. Saved the lives. Now it's time the world let you go. Be free Luv. Stay."

"It's not fair to you. You already have Dawn, and you've done so much for her. You don't need my craziness to go with it."

"I spent a century with Dru, you Luv are not crazy. And even if you were I would gladly take that on. Blow up my world, be my guest. I just want you happy and healthy again Luv. It's been a year since I've seen that in you. You did your time; now it's time you got to be you. My door will never be locked to you, ever." Spike said as he held out a key for Buffy.

Buffy gave a sad smile before she took the key. "I don't know what to do. Part of me feels like I'm supposed to go back and do what I've always been told to do. Another part of me though wants to kill my friends for everything they've done to Dawn and me. To stay here and hide. I don't know what to do."

"Well, the first step would be takin' to your mates and gettin' some answers from them. Like why Red didn't do a spell to check where you were first. What their plan is for when you do get back? Are the two livin' with you and helpin' with the bills or are they leavin' you to do it all? What's goin' on with your Mum's gallery? Once you have those answers, you can see how you feel about everythin'. There's no shame in takin' a week off to think about where you want to live or do. Personally, I think you should stay and try to find happiness in this world and in yourself. This place is a safe haven for the Bit; it can be yours too Luv. There's no pressure on my end Luv. We got the space; we have more than enough money, so you won't have to worry about workin'. The choice is yours, but the offer is always there for you."

"Thanks. I really do appreciate everything you've done for Dawn. I'm sorry it's been so hard on you."

"It's fine Pet. I'd do it again if I had to. She's amazin' just like her big sis."

"I should get going. Long drive ahead of us."

"Sure Luv. Just remember you're always welcome here."

"Thanks."

Buffy got up, and Spike did as well. They both headed inside to see that Giles and Angel were itching to get going. Dawn looked sad at the thought of her sister leaving. She wished she could go with her, but she couldn't bring herself to do that. She loved it here, and she didn't want to go back to being miserable. All she could do was hope that one day Buffy would be back here with her and then they could be happy together for the first time in years. Buffy went and gave Dawn a hug real quick before pulling back.

"I'll call when I get back. And you can call me whenever you need to talk." Buffy said.

"Same to you. I love you."

"I love you too. Keep doing what you're doing and don't give Spike too much trouble."

"I promise."

"Be safe Dawn. Come on Buffy; we need to head back." Giles said.

Buffy just gave a nod, and the three of them headed out of the house. Once the door was closed, Dawn looked over at Spike, and he could see the concern in her eyes.

"Is she going to be okay? Did I do the right thing?"

"Come here Niblet." Spike said as he pulled her into a hug. "You did the right thing. You can't destroy your life for anyone, not even your big sis. I'm proud of you. That wasn't easy, but you made the right choice."

"Thanks, Spike. And thanks for not making me see the others." Dawn said as she pulled back.

"You can see who you want. Not gonna force you to see people that bring up bad memories."

"Thanks. I should get my homework done. I have that match tomorrow."

"You will be amazin' just like you always are. You start your homework I'll clean up and finish my markin'."

"Looks like we're both working." Dawn said with a smirk.

"Looks like Bit. Race you." Spike said with a smirk himself.

Dawn gave a chuckle to that before she grabbed her bag and they both got to work on getting their homework done.

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Buffy was quiet the whole way to the motel that the others had gotten for the night. They didn't know when they would be leaving, but even if it was tonight, it was better to have a place to stay and talk about what had happened then out in the open. Giles had called ahead to find out where they were and all too quickly they had arrived at the motel. Once Angel parked they all got out and went over to the door. Once inside they could see it was just a standard motel room with two double beds. It wasn't anything fancy, and it was a tight fit with everyone in the room.

"So no Dawnie?" Willow asked taking notice of who was missing.

"No, she's staying with Spike." Giles said clearly not happy about it either.

"You actually let her stay there with that thing?" Xander said furious that they hadn't dragged Dawn out of there.

"She's happy there. She's safe and well taken care of by Spike. There's no reason to take her away from her home." Angel said with a snap to his voice.

"Except that it;s Spike raising her. Are we really going to let him?" Xander said back.

"It's her choice. I'm not going to take her from a place that she is happy and put her in a place that she isn't. I'm not like you guys." Buffy said with a dead tone, but they could hear the hurt edging it. Buffy went over to the table and leaned against the wall. She didn't want to stay here, but she did need answers. Spike was right about that.

"Buffy we didn't know. We would never have done this if we did." Willow said with regret in her voice.

"Why didn't you check? You're powerful enough to bring the dead back to life, why didn't you check to see where I was?"

"You went into a Hell portal, Buffy. The only place for you to go was to Hell. I didn't need to know what dimension of Hell you were in for the spell to work."

"You still should have checked." Buffy said.

"I know, and I'm sorry. I didn't think you would go to Heaven after how you died. I couldn't just leave you in Hell. I'm sorry, but you're back now with us. That has to count for something right?" Willow said with a small smile.

"What happens now? Are you staying in the house? Should I sell it? What about the gallery?"

"Um the gallery is closed down, but everything is still there to be sold. There might be a debt on it; I'm not sure we didn't pay attention to that. The house is in good standing. We've been using the life insurance payment to cover the mortgage and the bills. Tara and me can still live with you, and we could always find a roommate from the college or something." Willow suggested.

"How would we pay the bills?" Buffy asked.

"Well, your insurance covers everything except for food. Plus if we got a roommate they could pay a portion of the rent to help out." Willow suggested.

Buffy noticed that she left out the part about either her or Tara getting a job.

"How much of the insurance is left?"

"Enough for two more months and then we would have to move and sell the house or figure out another way to pay rent. Tara and me can help out a little with our student loans, but not that much."

"The debt on the gallery is the only thing that wasn't wiped out with declaring you dead. Apparently, there is a limit for the Government. That debt is now on Dawn's shoulders because she is next of kin. Same with the house actually." Anya said.

"And how much is that debt?"

"Well, the outstanding payment on the house is a hundred grand roughly, plus a debt of fifty grand for the gallery. At least it was a few months ago." Anya answered.

"That's great, so Dawn had a hundred and fifty grand in debt, and she's only sixteen. How nice of you all to let that happen. Why didn't you use the money from my insurance to pay off the debt? Why didn't you sell the house and the gallery plus everything in the gallery to get rid of the debt?" Buffy asked annoyed that she would now have to try and figure out how to pay that debt off. Not to mention how to sell the gallery and everything in it to try and bring the debt down.

"Because we needed to use it to help with the mortgage until we were able to bring you back. We didn't want you coming back home with nothing, not even a home." Willow said.

"But it's okay for the fifteen-year-old to have that much debt and no home? I can't believe you guys did this to me, to her. I thought you were my friends, my family. I thought you loved me. How could you do this?" Buffy asked hurt.

"We do love you, and we are your friends." Willow said.

"Buff, I know things are different, but we meant well. You just need to get home and back into your life. You'll be okay, and we can figure this all out later." Xander said.

"I will help you with the bills in figuring out how to pay them and what to make of the gallery. It's been a long few days I think we all should rest tonight and then leave first thing tomorrow morning." Giles said.

"I'm going to head out tonight. I've been gone too long. I need to get back." Angel said.

"Thank-you for coming with us." Tara said warmly.

"I need some fresh air." Buffy said and headed out of the motel room before anyone else could say anything.

Buffy went over to Angel's car and leaned against the passenger side. Buffy didn't know what to do. She didn't want to go back to Sunnydale, especially now that she knows the level of debt that was facing her. She wasn't going to let this be Dawn's debt. She couldn't do that to her. Buffy had never felt so alone before in her life. She needed time to think, and she needed the chance to do it without people hounding her or trying to manipulate her mind. Buffy didn't turn to look as Angel walked out of the motel room. He went over to her and grabbed her bag from the back before he spoke.

"How are you?"

"Upset, annoyed, frustrated. I don't know what to do. I just need to think alone about it."

"I can stay if you want."

"I know, but you need to get back. And I really need some time alone. My head is too full right now."

"Ok. I'm a phone call away Buffy if you ever need me."

"Thanks. Same to you."

They both moved away from the car so that Angel could drive. Buffy grabbed her bag and placed it down outside of the room. She didn't want to go back inside just yet, and it wasn't like someone was going to steal the few clothes in her bag.

"For the record, I think you should stay. All I have ever wanted was for you to be happy. I think you could be happy here. I'll support your decision no matter what."

"Thanks." Buffy said not really sure what else to say to that.

Buffy watched as Angel drove away and once he was gone, she decided she would go for a walk to try and figure out her thoughts and feelings. Buffy didn't know this town at all so she made sure to pay attention to the street signs so she could find her way back. Buffy didn't know what to do about any of this. She didn't want to go back to Sunnydale. She didn't even know if she could handle being in a car with any of her friends for the next two days. She was so angry inside at them, but more than anything she was hurt. She wanted to break down and cry to try and relieve some of the pain burning into her. She wanted to do what Spike said and curl up in bed for the next three weeks and ignore the world.

One thing did stand out to her about what Spike had said. Who was Buffy? For the first fifteen years of her life, she was a happy normal girl. Ever since she found out, she was a Slayer her whole life had changed. She became a Slayer, just a Slayer and that girl who she was died a long time ago. Buffy didn't know who she was outside of being a Slayer and before she could try and balance her normal life with her Slayer life, but it got harder and harder. Buffy really didn't know who she was anymore. She didn't even know if she wanted to be a Slayer anymore. Just the thought of going back out there made it hard to breathe. Buffy wanted to be happy again. She wanted to know who she was outside of being a Slayer. She didn't know what she would do if she weren't a Slayer anymore, but part of her wanted the chance to find out. Buffy knew she didn't want to be away from her sister. She wanted to see her grow up. She wanted to go to tennis matches and see her graduate. She wanted to go horseback riding together and hear all about her first boyfriend. She wanted to be a big sister again, especially when Dawn was no longer at the annoying age. They could be real friends now and share secrets. Buffy had been looking forward to that with her.

The problem was, could she really leave her friends and Slaying behind? Could she walk away from a life that her mother had built for them? The home that her mother had worked so hard to be able to afford and keep them in? Would it be disrespectful if she sold it along with the gallery? Buffy didn't want to disappoint her mother, would quitting being a Slayer disappoint her? Or would it make her happy knowing that she wasn't in danger anymore and trying to be happy? Deep down Buffy knew what she wanted to do, but she didn't know if she had the courage to do it.

Buffy spent the next two hours walking around town. It was a nice town and still busy even at this time of the night. Normally in Sunnydale, most people were off the streets after sunset. It was nice to see so many people not caring about some hidden threat. They were out shopping, going to dinner, having fun. The town was beautiful. Buffy wondered about how the mountains would be like to climb them. Then she wondered what the mall would be like. The one in Sunnydale was small, and it had been a long time since she had been to a real mall. It was a nice town, and everyone seemed so friendly. Buffy didn't even know these people, but they gave her a warm smile as she passed them. It was a larger city with a small town feel to it. Buffy liked it. The lights from the stores only added to the town's beauty. Buffy didn't want to leave here she really didn't. Buffy knew what she had to do. For the first time in her life, she was going to do what she wanted to do. Even if she was still slightly unsure of if it was the right thing to do or not.

Buffy made her way back to the motel. When she got there, she made sure to avoid the motel room. Buffy headed straight for the small office and was glad to see that someone was still there. After asking for a piece of paper, a pen and some tape Buffy went to work on writing a note to her friends. Buffy knew it was a cowardly thing to do, but she was too afraid that if she saw them, they would try and change her mind. Buffy didn't want to deal with the guilt of leaving them or their manipulation. Once her note was finished, just telling them she was staying and didn't want to see them. That she just wasn't ready for any of this. She taped it to the door quietly and grabbed her bag. Buffy jogged down the street so she wouldn't be at risk of them finding her. Once she was a couple of blocks away, Buffy then turned to her next problem, getting back to Dawn. Buffy knew the address, and she asked the first person she saw. With the directions, she headed back to Dawn's home. Buffy didn't know if it would be her home, but maybe it could be. Spike seemed sincere when he offered her a key, a key that was still in her pocket. He said he wanted her to stay and Buffy was hoping he wouldn't change his mind on her. Part of Buffy knew though that he wouldn't. He truly did love him, and even though she didn't feel the same for him, she took comfort in knowing that someone had loved her enough to take care of her sister.

It took Buffy an hour to finally get back to the house. She had been able to follow the directions easily enough. What was amazing is that she had been out for three hours now and she hadn't come across a single demon or vampire. Normally she would have fought a dozen of them by now, and that was a slow night. Buffy found that it was nice to be able to walk around a town at night and not have to worry about fighting some demon or vamp. Buffy knew she had a key, but it didn't feel right to use. She knocked on the door and waited for someone to answer. After a moment the door opened, and Spike stood on the other side. He gave her a warm smile before stepping back and letting her in.

"You do know you have a key right?" Spike said in a teasing voice.

"I know, but it didn't seem right to just barge into your home." Buffy said as she looked down.

"Hey, this is your home too. How did that lot take it?"

"I don't know. I left a note. Cowardly I know, but I just couldn't do it."

"Come on Luv let's sit down. You can tell old Spike all about it." Spike said as he put a gentle hand on the small of Buffy's back and guided her over to the couch.

"Where's Dawnie?"

"She's up in her room finishin' some homework." Spike answered as they sat down. "What happened Luv?"

"They're not sorry. They blew it off like it was nothing. They ripped me out of Heaven, and they just think I'll go right back into a normal routine and everything will be fine. I was in Heaven, and it's like they don't care. Did you know they were using my life insurance for the mortgage and the bills? That money should have gone to Dawnie. It might have helped her to get her own place or maybe for college or something. But instead, they were using it for their own bills and building debt up for Dawnie."

"I'm sorry Luv. They're idiots, the lot of them. What do you mean for her?"

"After I died all of the debt for the Gallery went to Dawnie and the outstanding debt on the house. A hundred and fifty grand from what Anya knows is all on Dawn's shoulders. Once she turns eighteen, they can probably go after her for it. The gallery is still there but closed down. They didn't take care of anything. They didn't even offer to get a job with me going back. They just figured I would pay for everything while they go on with their life and college. Like my life didn't matter as long as I was around to pay the bills and patrol. I've never felt so worthless and unwanted before in my life. And all I can think about is that must be how Dawnie felt being dragged out of her home." Buffy said sadly.

"I'm so sorry Luv. I never wanted you to feel this pain. You deserve so much better than that life. I'm glad you're here. You'll have the chance to heal and have the life you deserve. The life you choose to have and not one dictated to you."

"I don't even know what that is. I don't know what to do about any of this, the debt, the house, the gallery. I need to find a job to pay off the debt and who knows how many years that will take." Buffy said sounding stressed.

"I'll take care of the debt Luv. Don't worry about it. That money is nothing to me. As for the house, we can sell it. I can make a call, and the whole place can be packed up, shipped and sold within a week if you want. Same as the gallery. You don't have to worry about a job right now, and you never have to worry about money."

"That's your money."

"No, it's the household money. I'm not that old-fashioned Luv. Dawn has her own account that I make sure has ten grand in it a month. We have millions, and that goes up each month with my salary, jobs for the firm and I play in a few poker tournaments to help with the boredom of my life. Money is never an issue. I take care of mine Luv, and that is you and the Bit. I don't want you worryin' about money or findin' work. If you want to work, then work, but you don't have to."

"Will you tell me the truth if I ask you something?"

"Always Luv."

"Do you think Mom is disappointed that I'm not going back? Do you think she would be disappointed if I sold the house and the gallery?" Spike could hear the worry and fear in her voice, and he could understand that. It would be hard for Buffy to give it all up and not feel some guilt about it.

"Your Mum and I used to talk all the time. When she thought she was dyin' in the hospital, she told me her greatest fear was that you and the Bit would never truly be happy, especially you. She said that if she got one wish, she wouldn't wish for her to be healthy and alive, she would wish that you could have any life that you wanted. That you would be happy. I don't think she would be disappointed for you stayin'. I think she would be if you left and went back to a life that made you miserable and alone. What you did tonight Luv took courage. I think she would be proud of you for it. I know I am."

A single tear rolled down Buffy's cheek, and Spike pulled Buffy into a hug. Buffy didn't even fight she just curled up into Spike's chest and enjoyed the feeling of being held.

"What do I do now?" Buffy asked feeling lost.

"Whatever you want to do Luv. Leave the rest of the stress to me I'll handle it. Tonight you just sleep, and tomorrow you and the Bit can do whatever you want together."

"She has school, though."

"She can play hooky tomorrow. She has a tennis match tomorrow night at five. You can come with us and see her in action. She's pretty impressive."

"I'd like that. I feel like I don't really know her anymore."

"You know her. She just has a different life now, but she will tell you all about it tomorrow. She will talk until your head explodes."

"Looking forward to it."

Spike kissed the top of Buffy's head before he spoke. "Come on Luv I'll show you your room and the Bit will be thrilled to see you back."

Buffy pulled back and spoke before standing. "Thank-you again for everything."

"Nothin' to thank Luv." Spike said not really sure how he felt about all of the appreciation.

They got up, and Spike picked up Buffy's bag, and they headed up the stairs.

"Bit come out please." Spike said as they got up the stairs.

Dawn opened her door and was shocked to see Buffy back here. She had hoped that she would see her again, but she didn't actually think Buffy would make the decision to stay and not go back to her duties. Dawn gave Buffy a huge smile and ran over to give her a hug. Buffy instantly felt like she had made the right choice. Being here with Dawn was where she belonged. She didn't know what she was going to do, but she would figure it out.

"I'm so glad you're here." Dawn said.

"Me too."

"Bit, why don't you show big sis her room. Tomorrow you can take tomorrow off school to hang out."

Dawn pulled back as she spoke. "Awesome we could go exploring or shopping. Or we could just hang out here watching movies."

"Ya maybe. I'll see how I feel tomorrow. Right now mostly tired." Buffy said with a small smile.

"For sure. Your room is right over here," Dawn said as she led Buffy over to her new room. Spike followed but stayed outside of the room.

Buffy walked in and was happy to see that it was a nice room. The walls were white and plain, but if she felt like it, she could make it her own. There was a queen size bed only in the room, but it was large enough for a dresser, dressing table, a couch and even a small coffee table if she wanted. There was a large double door balcony that Buffy was falling in love with. It had enough room that she could have a nice little patio set out here. The view looked amazing too. She could see the mountains off in the distant and Buffy never wanted to forget this view.

"It's a pretty amazing view I know. I was going to take this room, but the other one had a view of the city lights." Dawn said.

"It's beautiful."

"Do whatever you want with it Luv. It's your home too." Spike said as he pulled out his wallet and took out a credit card and held it over to Dawn. "In case you decide to go shopping tomorrow. I have a class for nine, and I'll be there until three. If you are both still out let me know and I'll meet you at your match."

Shopping fun. Did you get your work done?" Dawn asked as she took the card.

"I did. You?"

"You bet."

"Good. I got a few calls to make and then get some sleep. If you need me Luv, I'm just down the hall."

Buffy just gave a nod and Spike headed back down to the kitchen to take care of a few things. Dawn gave Buffy a warm smile.

"How are you feeling?"

"Numb mostly right now. Think I just need some sleep."

"Of course ya. I'll let you get settled in and get some sleep. If you need me, you know where my room is."

"Thanks, Dawnie. I'll see you in the morning."

"I love you."

"I love you too."

Dawn headed out of the room and closed the door behind her. Buffy sat down on her new bed and placed her bag down beside her. Buffy didn't know what to do at the moment, but she did feel better knowing that she was here and not with her friends at that motel. Buffy didn't know what tomorrow would be like or bring, but for tonight she was just going to enjoy the view from her bed. Maybe she would be able to sleep without feeling like she is in a box.

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Spike headed down the stairs to the kitchen. He had finished his marking, and he had everything ready for class tomorrow. He wanted to take the time to call Lilah and speak to her about Buffy. Spike was taking into consideration what Angel said, but the problem was, Lilah hadn't done anything to Spike or Dawn since he went to her. She could have sold his location off for millions, but she didn't. She's done nothing but helped them, and Spike wasn't about to turn down help. Spike pulled out his cell phone and stepped outside into the warm night air. It was a little late, but Spike figured that if she didn't answer, he could leave a message. Spike hadn't called Lilah before because he had no need to. When he had a job, Lilah just called him with the information. After three rings Lilah answered.

"Lilah Morgan."

"It's Spike. Got a bit of a situation down here."

"Are you no longer safe?" Lilah immediately asked.

"No, we're safe. You know the Slayer was dead." Spike stated as he had come to discover that Lilah pretty much knew about everything that went on in the world.

"Thirteen months ago closing a Hell portal that was opened by a Hell Goddess. What about her?"

"She's back. The redheaded witch did a spell three days ago and brought her back to life. Tore her out of Heaven. She's here with me and the Bit now."

"Wow, that's impressive magic and very stupid magic. We would never even bring a human back from the dead. Some lines are not meant to be crossed. Not to mention the consequences."

"And what would those be?" Spike asked knowing that there would be some consequence for this. Magic was never free.

"Off the top of my head, I don't know. I'll have to make a call to have the magic lab look into it. This isn't something that has happened before, at least to my knowledge. It might take until morning to get that to you, though."

"That's fine, just looking for the heads up right now on that. She seems okay for someone that was ripped out of Heaven by her friends only to find out they let her kid sister be taken away. I don't think this has hit her fully yet."

"And it will soon, and when it does, it's going to be devastating to her. She's in a unique situation. The firm does have some therapists that deal with demonic clients and family of them. We have a couple in your area. I can send their information to you, and maybe she'll speak with someone. They would know that she is a Slayer and the life she's lived. It might not be a bad idea for her to get it all out to someone. Someone with the experience to help her through it."

"I'd appreciate that Pet."

"I'll have it sent right over to you. Is there anything else you need?" Lilah asked looking to be helpful.

"She has a house in Sunnydale. The two witches are livin' in it. I need them and their stuff out, the rest of it packed up and sent here and the house sold. There's also two accounts I need to pay off, the rest of the mortgage is one and the outstanding debt on the gallery her Mum used to own."

"I'll have someone sent to the house tomorrow to start packing it up. Send me the information for the accounts and I will have them paid out of your account for you. What do you want with the gallery?"

"I'm thinkin' of payin' off the debt and keepin' it. There are paintings still in it to be sold. I just need to find someone to run it, and it can make her some money. She doesn't have to work, but she won't be able to stand still for too long. This way she can feel like she is contributin' in some way."

"I can have a company go over to the gallery and asset the current situation on it. I'm in contact with numerous Head Hunters that can find someone to manage the gallery for you should it be worth the time and money to be put into it."

"Appreciate it."

"It's what I do. Now, for what you do. I need you Saturday night back in Paris. You would leave Friday night and fly back Sunday afternoon. It's for security at a large black tie event. All are humans, but they have made some waves in the demon world by trying to help bring rights to innocent Clans. If Buffy is feeling up to it, she could go as well and be paid your salary for it. The chances of either of you having to fight are slim, but maybe getting her back in a controlled environment would help her to move on. The choice is yours and hers, but the offer is there should she want it."

"I'll mention it to her tomorrow. What time is the flight?"

"Seven, I know Dawn has a tennis match, you'll have plenty of time if you bring her with you."

"I'll see what the girls want to do. Send me the information, and I'll be there."

"I've already texted you the information. I'll be in touch once I have something for you."

"Ta Pet."

Spike ended the call and let out a sigh. He didn't really want to go away for work this weekend, but it would be hard to say no. He would be getting paid ten grand for this job, and he couldn't exactly say no to this. Spike knew he should be telling Buffy about the offer, but she wasn't ready to be doing anything in the field, even something as simple as a black tie event for security. It would be better for Buffy to spend the weekend with Dawn alone to reconnect and relax together. Next month Spike could mention it to Buffy when the next job came up. With his tasks, all done Spike headed back inside and up to his bedroom so he could get some sleep. He had classes all day tomorrow, and tomorrow night he would need to be working for the weekend. Spike needed sleep, and he had no idea how well Buffy would be sleeping tonight. He was going to get what sleep he could just in case either of his girls needed him tonight.