An Epilogue, or "All The Fallen Pieces"

Lucina let out a long sigh as the sun began to crest the forest outside of Ylisstol, rubbing tired eyes as she leaned against the wall outside of the stable. Sleep hadn't been forthcoming after the events of the previous evening, and after a few hours of fruitless tossing and turning, she had turned her hand to at least trying to be productive, instead.

The former Exalt had spent several hours in the dead of the night sorting armor sets for Olivia in the Third Platoon's storeroom. No doubt the dancer would be thrilled that her workload had been lessened so, but even though it had kept her hands occupied Lucina's mind had still been free to wander.

She had seen horrible things in her future. Lives lost, cities burned, cruelty beyond compare. She was no stranger to pain and suffering, both from those around her and from within. Still, though, after spending so much time in the past she feared that she had become unaccustomed to it once more.

Ben's breakdown the previous evening had unsettled her, far more than she was willing to admit. Probably because she knew him personally, considered him a friend.

It had always hurt more, back in the future, when one of her friends had been suffering. When the people as a whole suffered, be it through famine, disease or constant harrying Risen attacks, Lucina found she could cope; it still hurt knowing these people, who were meant to be under her protection, were suffering, but she could reason it away by saying "we're doing the best we can, please bear with it". When one of her friends had suffered, though, it was a different story. She had been utterly helpless when Yarne's mother had died, the younger boy wailing about being the last of his kind while Lucina could do nothing but watch and offer him empty platitudes; she hadn't been able to do anything but hold Severa's hand when she had been wounded, watching as the fiery redhead screamed and grimaced while they pulled the arrows out of her back; she had been able to offer little as she had watched Nah slowly starve to nothing, the half-dragon barely able to sustain herself on the rations they all had to share. All of this and more had stuck with her. Ask Lucina about the suffering of the people of Ylisse and she could only answer in vague generalizations. Yet she remembered with crystal clarity every moment of her friends' pain, because for the most part she hadn't even been able to help them heal.

Ben was just the latest name, the latest casualty of her long war, added to the list.

A few of the soldiers that had taken to their fitness almost as though it were a hobby came jogging around the corner, Erutreya leading them at a brisk pace. The blonde woman offered Lucina a brief wave as the group passed, which the time traveler returned with a small smile.

Erutreya was a good soldier, both now and in the future. Although seeing her like this, young and whole, filled Lucina with an odd sense of grief. She frowned, reminding herself that the whole reason she was here was to stop that future from occurring.

She watched the group jog around the next corner, idly wondering how many laps they would do before breakfast and thinking that she should perhaps make the time to start joining them. She would be the first to admit that she had also become somewhat lax in her training since the end of the Plegian war.

Deciding that the rest of the 'inner circle', as Ben had taken to calling them, had to be awake by now, Lucina bounced off the wall with her shoulders and began to head back inside. It didn't take her long to get back to the officer's quarters upstairs, but she admittedly had lingered by the open doors to the mess hall to allow the scents of breakfast to wash over her.

One thing she had learned in the future was to ensure her body had adequate nutrition, no matter her mental state. Even though she was still processing what had happened, her body responded as normal and she felt the hunger pangs as the scent of fresh bread and sweet oats wafted over her.

All too soon she was stepping into the conference room, finding she was still the first to arrive.

Lucina gave a shallow sigh through her nose, casually stepping through the room to the head of the table. The conference room itself was nothing spectacular; it was simply another room that meetings could be held in, although Lucina had to admit that she liked the informality and even the intimacy of Ben holding the regular meetings in his private office instead. The conference room was neat and clean, but aside from the long table and multiple chairs, it was unadorned and empty. No pictures on the walls, no decorative furniture in the corners, not even bookshelves with reference material on them. This was a room that wasn't used, and it showed. But it would suffice. Lucina didn't feel comfortable in Ben's office anymore after what she had seen last night.

She absently ran her fingertips softly over the tabletop, marveling that Elle kept things so clean on her own. There wasn't a speck of dust to be seen.

The door opened again and Lucina glanced up, watching as an exhausted and disheveled Noire led Virion and Robin in. Both of the officers, who until very recently had been occupying the other's body, looked like they were freshly risen from sleep. Virion's hair didn't have any of its usual bounce as he sipped from a mug of tea, and Robin was actually still in the process of brushing hers.

"What is so important that it could not wait until after the most bountiful of breakfasts?" Virion asked, narrowing his eyes a little as he glanced around the room.

Robin looked around, too, her hand pausing her ministrations on her hair mid-brush as she realized the four of them were alone. Virion sank into the closest chair, taking another loud sip of his tea. Slowly, Robin followed suit, taking the seat across from Virion as Noire sank into the chair at the opposite end of the table from Lucina.

"Bah, of course he is not here yet," Virion scoffed into his tea.

"Where is the General?" Robin asked.

"Not coming," Lucina said.

She stood at the head of the table, hands clasped behind her back and feet shoulder-width apart. Ben had called it a 'parade rest' stance when Lucina was a girl.

"Oh? And what is so important our fearless leader could not be here?" Virion asked lazily. "Perhaps he is busy burying the hatchet with his loveliest of lovers after last night."

As he spoke, the archer cast a quick glance in Noire's direction. The other time-traveler sagged in her seat, her head hanging low and her hair obscuring her face.

"I don't see th-that happening," Noire sighed.

Virion and Robin both sat up a little straighter, realization hitting them that this wasn't a normal 'gossipy' meeting.

"He was telling me that they weren't… doing too well," Robin admitted.

"The timeline always favors its original course," Noire said, looking up.

"It is why our original task is such a monumental undertaking," Lucina added.

"Even if my mother isn't d-dead, my parents were never… together," Noire went on. "I've been expecting this f-for a while now. It… it wasn't meant to be."

Lucina frowned, giving Noire a worried glance. She hadn't been stammering like this for quite some time; clearly the previous day's happenings were weighing on her.

"So they're… over?" Robin asked.

"Yeah," Noire said with a sigh.

"Is Tharja well?" Virion asked seriously, a rare change for him.

"I… spent the rest of the night calming her down," Noire said. "She's p-pretty shaken up. But I managed to get her to sleep."

"So… where is Ben?" Robin asked slowly.

"Baham," Lucina said.

"Baham?" Virion repeated, sitting up. "He's in Baham? Why!?"

"He left."

Lucina glanced at Robin at her statement. It wasn't a question, the tactician looking down at the table now.

"Yes," Lucina nodded.

"Shit," Robin sighed, putting her hairbrush down.

Virion gave a hum, the archer examining his nails. "It went that badly, did it?"

"Regardless of his reasons, this does put him in a position to oversee the training of the Second and Third regiments," Lucina said.

"That's just his excuse," Robin said.

She spoke without looking up, her voice tired.

"Be that as it may, he has left orders for us," Lucina went on.

"Of course he has," Virion sighed. "He pulls the most impractical of jokes on us, then runs off before we can get our revenge. That is just like him."

"I don't suppose you didn't notice that he wasn't coping with the pressure, then," Noire spat defensively.

Virion actually flinched, wilting guiltily.

"I… had noticed he was not faring as well, recently," Virion admitted. "But we are, all of us, under stress. And he is the one espousing the 'lean on your brothers and sisters in your squad' mentality. He has been pushing that more than anyone since you all returned from Baham."

"Yes, but he doesn't have a squad," Noire said. "He had us. And fat lot of g-good that did him."

"It's…" Lucina said, groping for the best way to describe it. "After the final battle in Plegia, when he was hurt, I broke down. He helped me understand what had happened. He called it 'Post Traumatic Stress Disorder'. I believe he may have been suffering from it himself."

"Trauma? Trauma from what?" Virion asked.

As one, the three women in the room flinched.

"If you had b-been in Baham, g-gone on th-that mission, you'd… you'd understand," Noire said.

"None of you ever made a report about it," Virion said softly. "Was it truly that bad?"

"Yes," Lucina said, voice hollowing out a little as she tried not to think too hard about it.

"In the end, it doesn't matter," Robin said flatly. "He's not here, and we still have a job to do. Valm… Valm is still coming. We need to be ready."

"Indeed," Lucina agreed, grateful for the tactician getting the meeting back on track. "And though he may need some time to recover, he will still do a better job training those forces than if we had left it to the regional leaders. In the meantime, our standing orders are to continue as we have been."

"So more training and humanitarian aid?" Virion asked.

"For the moment," Lucina nodded. "Ben did say he would send more orders from Baham as necessary. But until then, you are in charge, Colonel."

Virion smirked self depreciatingly, looking first at Robin and then down at the table.

"Very well," he said, pushing his chair back and rising to his feet. "If there is nothing else, then it is to be business as usual."

"Business as usual, then, Colonel," Lucina nodded to him.

Pausing just long enough to cast his own worried glance at Robin, who still hadn't looked up from the table, Virion turned and made for the door. He looked back at Noire, quirking a brow at the other archer.

"Private Noire, I'm relieving you of duties today," he said. "Your mother is an important part of our research and development group. Please… see to her health."

"Of course," Noire nodded. "Thank you, Sir Virion."

Virion gave them one more small smirk before nodding and stepping out into the hallway. Once he was gone, Noire heaved a long sigh, shaking her head as she rose to her feet.

"I'm going to go check up on… on myself," she said. "O-on the younger me, I mean. I want to make sure she's taken c-care of while my… while my mother is i-indisposed."

Lucina nodded, giving her old friend a warm smile.

"Of course," she said. "If there is anything you need, do not hesitate to ask."

"Th-thanks, Luce," Noire nodded, following Virion out.

Lucina turned to Robin, who still hadn't looked up from the table. Her knuckles had gone white gripping the handle of her brush, her half-brushed hair forgotten.

"Robin?" Lucina asked gently. "Are you… okay?"

The tactician jumped a little, finally looking up with a small, tired smile.

"Yeah, sorry," she said. "Um… if it's okay with you, I'd like a little time alone to collect my thoughts before we get started for the day."

Lucina nodded, standing now herself.

"Of course, Robin," she said. "I'll leave you to it. Please, take all the time you need."

"Thank you," the other woman said, looking back down at her lap.

Lucina slowly walked around the table towards the exit, eyes lingering on Robin's hunched form.

As Lucina slipped from the room, she silently shut the door, leaning back against it and letting her own shoulders sag for a few moments. Taking a deep breath, she pulled herself back up and began making her way down to the mess hall on the first floor.

She would keep her word to Ben, and see that things continued to run smoothly.

AN: I originally wanted to call this epilogue "Not an Actual Chapter 20, LOL sorrynotsorry" but my editor said no… party pooper…

Well, I'm guessing that none of y'all were expecting this to be the way things played out. Honestly, I've been working towards this ending for the last year. Literally, the last year. All the story arcs since before Baham have been building to this. le gasp! Does that mean Metallover actually planned his work!? I know, scares me, too.

So, this is it for the Self Insert REDUX. Book 2 of the Self Insert Adventure Series is officially done. It's been a long road, one of highs and lows, and it's been fun. I've experimented a lot more with this particular story than I have with so many others. I tried my hand at writing horror style segments, which I loved. I finally bit the bullet and became comfortable writing smut. This story dragged my sorry ass through with starting a (P)atreon page, and I couldn't be happier with the way things are progressing there.

So, I hear many of you asking… "what now?" Well, now I'm going to be taking a wee break. I'll be writing a couple of short form pieces and posting them to my (P)atreon. Some are Self Insert Apocryphals, some are other miscellaneous fanfiction, some are original works. The fanfiction will eventually make it's way here. The original works… I dunno yet.

How long will this break be? Fucked if I know. Three or four months, at the least. Maybe longer. I've got a bunch of little things floating around I've been meaning to do, and I wanna get them done. Now seemed like the opportune time to do them, so do them I shall.

Thank you all very much for your continued support through this story. I hope you enjoy its continuation in Book 3, Metallover's Self Insert Adventure Book 3 - Blunt Force Trauma, coming sometime this Summer. Northern Hemisphere summer. Because it's currently summer here, and it's hot as balls, but… y'all get the point.

What can you look forward to in Blunt Force Trauma? Well, if REDUX was my experimenting with different genres phase, Blunt Force Trauma will absolutely be my 'war story' phase. It's not gonna be pretty. It's gonna be dark, gritty, full of black humor… I'm looking forward to it, and I hope you are, too!

Thanks again for reading, and I'll se you all real soon!

Nagaspeed, friends!

- metallover, December 2019

Follow me on twitter! -metalloverCAB

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