I don't usually post new stories when I don't have a couple of chapters done, but I'm really excited about this one. I started planning it way back around Infernal Responsibility in 2015. Since then, the story has changed in little ways and I went through a little Miraculous Ladybug and Kingdom Hearts phase. But now I'm back and ready to rock! I hope you all enjoy my Modern AU.

—

Based on actual events.

—

"Can I help you?"

Astrid had entered the hardware store on a whim. 320 State Street, Gobber's Goods, run by a master Jack-of-All-Trades. Located in the Times Square of the little twin city area, but looked like you'd find it out in the middle of nowhere. Cement statues and garden decorations stood watch outside. All other trendy, organized, high trafficked stores had come and gone, but Gobber's Goods had remained steadfast and unchanging. Well, at some point, someone re-painted the sign. It was rumored the store carried everything you could think of, despite it's small size. And if you went in, you'd find exactly what you'd need.

Well, Astrid needed a job, and the sign in the window advertised there was one available.

The young cashier drummed his fingers on the side of the register. His extremely green eyes were only magnified by his club master glasses. He might have been really attractive, if his nose wasn't so huge. His russet hair laid lightly tussled on his head as he continued to smile at her.

"Uh…" she distractedly looked around the shop, taking in the absolute chaos and clutter.

"It's…a little crazy in here," he admitted, "is there something you need? There's some method to Gobber's madness, I'm sure we could figure it out."

Crazy was an understatement. Only a little sunlight spilled in from the poster covered windows, showing dust floating in the air. The fattest cat she'd ever seen was laying on a shelf, enjoying the sun. Vintage ads and signs hung from the ceiling. There was only a few lights, and they flickered here and there. The wooden floorboards creaked with each step. A refrigerator with glass bottle pop sat by the door, while a fridge of bait next to it. Shelves filled with unmarked, rusted cans and dusty tools lined aisle after aisle. Behind the cashier, the wall was lined with hundreds of little drawers. The store was bigger inside than first glance.

Astrid was very much regretting her decision to apply, but her desperation spoke for her as she stated, "application."

The cashier smiled wider, showing his braces. "We don't have applications, but my boss is here and he can interview you now, if you have time."

"Uh, yeah, that'll work."

"Cool, let me just…uh…" he reached over, grabbed a radio, and hit a button. "Hey Boss, there's a girl here interested in the job."

There was silence for a long time before a voice spoke back. "Is she cute?"

The cashier blushed. "Gobber!"

"I'll be out in a sec! Be cordial!"

The cashier rolled his eyes and dropped the radio to the glass counter. "So…you must be pretty desperate to apply here."

She grimaced. "I mean, you aren't wrong, but is it that bad?"

"No, not at all." He leaned forward on his elbows, "I love working here. It's just…everyone assumes its awful because the place is a dump."

"It's…got character." She supplied. A light blinked out. "This is actually the first time I've been in here. It's not often I have to buy…repair stuff," then she whispered, "I usually go to Ace Hardware."

The cashier snickered. "Don't say that too loud around Gobber, he'll tell you all about their terrible merchandise."

Astrid looked at the shelves of dilapidated junk. "Sounds pretty hypocritical."

"You should have seen the place before I got here."

"Oh?"

Before he could continue his story, a goat looking man hobbled out. His stomach hanging out over his belt and his mustache dangling down by his nipples. He stood on a wooden peg leg while his hook hand scratched his fat red nose. "So! You want a job, ey?"

"I regret everything." She muttered.

"Let's talk." From behind the counter, he pulled out two high chairs and beckoned her to sit. The cashier went to make himself busy, but the owner steadied him. "You get just as much in a say in this hire as I do, since you'll be training her."

The boy couldn't argue with that.

"So, Lass, why do you wanna work fer me?"

He spoke with an accent. Irish? She couldn't tell. "Well, to be honest, Mr.—..."

"Gobber. Owner of this fine establishment."

"Uh, Gobber, right. Well, to be honest, I just need a job, and my friend recommended it."

"Who's yer friend?"

"Gladius Thorenson, you employ her brother Mortice?"

"Tuff! Ah, good lad." He nodded. "Alright, I only have a few questions."

"Shoot."

"Do you have any psychotic tendencies?"

"What? No!"

"Disabilities?"

"No."

"Drug addiction?"

"Nope."

"Criminal history?"

"No sir."

"Well, then why on earth do you want a job here?"

She sighed. "I...I got fired from Bath and Body Works a few weeks ago, because of a cruel customer. I am desperate for a job, and no one is hiring."

"Ah, I see...shopaholic then?"

She actually laughed. "No, it's my dad."

"Ah, I see! You're hired."

"Wait? Really?! Don't you need to see any references? Blood tests? Skill sets? To consider the candidates over two weeks before you call me back?"

"You know Tuff and his sister, Ruff. That's good enough for me. Besides, there were no other candidates, and that sign has been in the window for two weeks. When can you start?"

Right now, She thought earnestly. "As soon as you need me to?"

"Great! Let's talk about your schedule Miss…Oh good grief! I was so excited to get a pretty girl on my team I forgot to ask your name!"

"I'm Astrid, Astrid Hofferson."

"Astrid! What a lovely name!" He turned to the cashier. "Don't you think so Hiccup?"

In turn, Hiccup blushed, "What are you trying to do, flirt for me?"

"If you think so, then sure!"

The boy rolled his eyes and looked at her, "I'm Henry Haddock, but everyone calls me Hiccup."

"…why?" She asked, hesitantly.

"Tuff likes to come up with nicknames. I just kind of roll with it."

She nodded in understanding.

"Well," Gobber began, with a schedule in hand. "What I like to do, is have a cashier, a stocker, and a delivery driver working at the same time, so if something happens, there's at least one person in the store. Depending on when you can work, I'll figure out the team. So, when can you work?"

"I have class Monday through Wednesday until 12. Thursdays and Fridays I have clinicals at the hospital until 4. Weekends are totally free."

"Med student?"

"Nursing," She smiled.

He looked at his hand, "We could definitely use a nursing student."

Astrid just stared wide-eyed.

"I'm just kidding, I lost this years ago. Reached into a wood chipper to get a rock that fell in, and when I pulled it out…" He made a grinding sound.

She shuttered heavily. "What about your leg?"

"Landmine in Vietnam."

She hummed in understanding.

"How many hours are you thinking?"

"As many as I can get."

"Great! So let's see…" He studied the sheet. "Why don't you pick out a soda from the fridge while I figure this out? My treat!"

"Oh, thanks!" She smiled. "What's good?"

Hiccup replied back, "Might I suggest 'Rat Bastard' Root Beer? It's pungent with a hint of Vanilla."

She found the bottle and allowed him to pop the cap with an opener. One swig and she was pleased, "pungent, with a hint of vanilla. You weren't kidding."

Gobber looked up. "I'll have you work 2 to close Monday through Wednesday with Hiccup. We close at 8. Thursdays and I can have you on from 5-close. And then Saturday morning—no wait, evening, 12-5, we close early on Saturdays. Mildew works mornings and I don't want you working with him."

"Mildew? Seriously, what's up with these names?"

Gobber continued. "We're closed on Sundays and most Holidays. But that gives you about thirty hours. Think you can handle it?"

"I was actually hoping for more…but if that's all you have, I'll take it. It's minimum wage, right?"

"For a little while, but if you show up on time, are pleasant and do something, there's a chance for a 50 cent raise in the first month, and then once a year after that."

Hiccup added, "Everyone but Tuff has gotten a raise. It's not that hard."

She chuckled, "Knowing Tuff, he's close to being fired."

"One day…" Gobber lamented. "Well, I think I've overloaded your brain for today. So, tomorrow is Wednesday. Are you ready to start?"

"2 O'clock? I'll be here!"

"I'll be on a job until 5, so Hiccup here will take care of you."

She grinned, "I'm looking forward to it."

"Oh!" The man snapped, "there's one more important thing I forgot."

"Oh yeah, the tax forms." Astrid confirmed.

Hiccup snickered, "Tax forms…"

"What? No no, we'll do that later." Gobber assured, "more importantly, we need to figure out what role you would have in viking society."

Her brows furrowed, "Uh…what?"

"It's simple, in order for us to get along, we must all have a role. You'll have conflicts if there's two Blacksmiths or Shepards."

"I thought I was a cashier? Or a stocker?"

Hiccup nodded, "you're a cashier, this is just a…store management thing."

"Oh."

"Now I," declared the boss, "am obviously…what?"

"Uh…the chief?"

"No! The Blacksmith! Geez…"

"Okay, you fix stuff, so you're the Blacksmith, I got it."

"Now, Mildew is the farmer."

"…because he's a stocker?" She confirmed.

Gobber paused, "Well, yeah, that makes sense, but he also has 18 cats."

She threw up a little bit in her mouth.

"Bucket and Mulch are the fishermen."

"Okay, hold on, I thought you just said there couldn't be duplicates."

Hiccup answered, "Those two have to work together…Bucket needs help. He can't drive, but he's really strong. So he's great for deliveries."

"Oh, I see. Continue."

"Tuff is the village idiot."

"Makes sense."

"And Hiccup here is the Prince."

Hiccup pinched the bridge of his nose, "There's no princes in Norse Mythology."

"Well, he's the closest thing to Chief we have, but he's not the Chief. While I do the hiring, firing, schedules…and all that stuff, Hiccup manages the store."

Astrid looked around, "… so I see…"

Hiccup looked at her flatly, "I don't get a lot of time to organize if I'm always watching the register."

"Which is why we hired you, lass!" Gobber intervened.

"Oh, okay. Yeah, that makes sense." She processed all that had been said. "Is there a Chief?"

"Uh…" Gobber scrunched up his nose. "My business partner Alvin is probably the Chief, though it's unspoken."

Hiccup frowned. "If you're lucky, you'll never have to meet him." Then he whispered, "he's got anger issues."

"But he knows how to balance the books! He's the shrewdest man to walk this earth, but I'll be damned if he didn't keep us in business!"

"Shieldmaiden." Astrid stated.

"What?" The men asked in unison.

"Well, someone has to be the warrior, the one that rallies the moral of the team, the one to protect the village…or else you're subject to invasion. So, I want to be the Shieldmaiden."

"I was thinking you'd say healer, you know…nursing student?" Hiccup shrugged.

She smiled and replied, "Who said I can't be both?"

Gobber snickered at Hiccup. "I like her."

"So, Shieldmaiden," began Hiccup, "You still want to work here, even with all this craziness?"

She looked fondly at the clutter and chaos and answered, resolute, "I think crazy is just the thing I could use right now."

—

Gladius, known respectfully by her peers as Ruff, sat at a high table in the far back of the room.

"D'ya get it?"

"Yeah," Astrid said, taking her seat, a near empty bottle of root beer and soup in hand. "Thanks for the idea. You should have seen the guy's face when I asked."

"Who? The cute freckled one with the Ray Bans?"

"Yeah, sure. Anyways, the look was of sheer delight. "

"Oh, of course. He wasn't expecting to get a 10 like you."

"What?"

"Well, most of the workers there have some sort of problem, i.e. disability."

"And your brother?"

"He's just stupid!" Ruff laughed. "So, you're still going in tomorrow?"

"I got hired on the spot! I've applied at every establishment on this side of the river and no one called me back. And I got thirty hours with the promise of a raise. I can't imagine anything better."

"Thanks Michigan, for the highest unemployment rate..." Ruff muttered snidely.

"I just hope the work is worth the pay. Remember at B&B when they made me manager but continued paying minimum wage?" She muttered.

"You have the worst luck, girlfriend. The worst."

"Debatably. I have a house—"

"That you share with a psycho."

"I have a job."

"Now."

"And I'm going to school."

"For the worst reason…"

"I'm in the top ten percent. I'm not going to ask for more."

"Maybe you'll get to work with Mr. Hottie Cashier." Ruff wiggled her eyebrows.

Astrid glanced at her, but then looked back to her soup. "He seems nice, but you can't judge a person on his looks."

"I thought you liked the nerdy looking guys."

"Forget it Ruff, not interested."

"Who knows? And come on! You should ask him out!"

"Drop it Ruff."

"Give me one good reason!"

Astrid glanced up and stated outright. "Scott."

Ruff deflated. "That's a reason. Sometimes I forget you even have a boyfriend."

Astrid ignored her friend and finished her soup.

"I mean, you never talk about him. I never see him, the only evidence that he exists is—..."

"Let's talk about something else?"

"Like what? All you ever talk about nowadays is your crazy roommate and your extremely exhausting classes."

"I'm busy, okay? How about you? Weren't you dating that one guy? Mr. Bulging Pecs?"

Ruff got a dreamy look on her face. "Erik Erikson…the man of my dreams."

"So…that's a yes then?"

"I might have fibbed a little about our whole dating thing."

Astrid pushed her bowl out of the way and leaned in on her elbows. "What did you do?"

"I may have spied on him from a tree, and he may have caught me, and he may have filed for a restraining order."

The attention of the every patron in the cafe was on Astrid in a second as she started screaming with laughter. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" She gasped out between guffaws.

"It's not that funny."

"You said that I had bad luck!"

"Well, he hasn't gotten the restraining order yet, so I'm going to apologize and then we're going to fall in love and have beautiful babies."

"Ruff, you a your brother lead the craziest lives ever."

"Interesting. Most interesting lives."

"Whatever helps you sleep at night." Astrid downed the rest of her soda. "Hey, I have to get going, I have a Psychology paper I have to finish."

"Gross."

"You know, I wish I had gotten this job sooner, since we're studying the traumatic effects of amputation on the human body, and my new boss is a double amputee."

"Blah blah science, blah blah health."

Astrid narrowed her eyes as she put on her coat. "Remind me why we're friends."

"Like you said, I lead an interesting life."

"Well," She picked up her empty bowl. "Soon, I'll have other stories to tell you, instead of medical horrors."

Ruff rolled her eyes, "hurray, more bad customer stories."