A/N - Well here we go; I knew it was only a matter of time before a started one of these. It's what always happens when I spend a few months binging fanfiction, eventually I tend to write one.

Updates will be spontaneous depending on how busy my schedule is however I do hope to see this through.

I'm a long time HP fan, at one point knowing the books and its universe very well, although that was a long time ago when I was much younger. If I mess anything up in this story call me out and let me know so I can fix it. That being said at the end of the day it is a fanfiction, not everything is going to abide by the laws set in cannon.

I do not own Harry Potter but I'm currently forming a very intricate and crude plan to ensure that I do.

Chapter 1 - Unauthorised Rehabilitation

Under moonlight the dementors begin to lose interest in a boy already kissed...

Lily's screaming hard and echoes of a green flash sear his skull on repeat.

A lost soul departs but something's there to take its place...

A strong feeling of euphoria or drunkenness buzzed violently in his mind, light splits through the infirmary's curtains and groggy emerald eyes open much to the boy's displeasure.

Great he was in the infirmary. Nothing new there.

Sitting up slowly Harry felt every joint and muscle voicing their displeasure at the movement. He was particularly stiff, for once not feeling the urge to get out of the place. Maybe that was a good testament to how bad he felt right now?

Despite the protests his mind kicked into gear and rather worryingly he couldn't recall all that much of how he ended up here. Ah well, wasn't the first time probably won't be the last.

Scattered events such as flying Buckbeak with Hermione, Ron getting a good chunk ripped out of his leg and then Sirius riding off into the night stood out, though he had no sense of their order. One thing certain is that Hermione can really reach some high notes when she's scared. Impressive set of lungs on that girl...or maybe that was Ron? He didn't quite remember but his ears definitely did, and they bled a Weasley red.

Just before Harry found himself getting frustrated the sound of heels clipping off stone sent a buzz through his head and the stern face of Madam Pomfrey swam into view above, "It seems you've finally decided to join the land of the living Mr. Potter!"

He imagined the healer was probably getting sick of looking after him and tried to smile. "Gave it my best shot mam but if I'm dead I can't be here and I'm just a sucker for your care."

If the healer liked his quip, he wouldn't be able to tell as she was already busying herself with potions. "You've too much energy for a boy who was at deaths door, although I can't say it's not a good sign. Drink this, it'll help with the pain."

Yeah, the pain was pretty bad, but after sniffing the contents of the potion thrust into his hands Harry fought the urge to gag, "Can't you just rewind to war time protocol and just hit me with a strong stunner?"

Madame Pomfrey gave him a look. "Outside emergency conditions I'm afraid that's now illegal Mr. Potter."

"Fine. Get me my wand and a shot of something strong, I'll do it myself." Can't imagine it would be his best night's sleep but hell, that potion is vile. He would not be drinking it.

Fast-forward ten minutes and five empty goblets sat on Harry's bedside cabinet with the now satisfied healer taking some notes. The nurse did look weary though and sounded worse, she was in dear need of some rest.

Harry's face most have shown some worry and the witch's stern look softened. "I didn't dare leave your side, we didn't know when you would wake," She explained before pulling her wand from her uniform and tracing it over his body. "What were you thinking? Going into the forbidden forest at night when you knew of the Dementors, you're lucky to be alive."

Dementors? Come to think of it he did remember running towards the lake with Sirius. Weird, you'd think he'd remember how that one played out.

"I'm fine," he muttered. Maybe he was trying to convince himself more than her with that one. Truth-be-told Harry was not feeling fine.

"Fine?" The matron hit back with a little bite, "You are not! Those potions are what your body has needed while you've been sleeping off the effects of a Dementor. I don't think you could have been any closer to having your soul ripped out you know... It was nearly like trying to treat a patient who had been kissed at times."

Alright, maybe he didn't have a response for that one. Taking sudden interest in the lack of life around him Harry noticed the place looked abandoned. He was the only patient in the large infirmary, next to him a table piled high with countless sweets and cards. Never a good sign, usually the number of get-well gifts he had was a good indicator on how long he'd been out, so he asked as much.

"Close to three weeks," Pomfrey stated flatly in her no-nonsense manner. "You're recovering rather fast all things considered. Woke up a few times too but I doubt you would remember. I've had you on some very strong potions."

There were a few moments of silence as he took it all in, "So when will I be allowed to leave?"

Madam Pomfrey's response was a flick of her wand that sealed his mouth shut, "No Mr. Potter. Not today, not from you."

Was she in a bad mood with him?

Apparently for a boy who had one foot in his grave he had a little too much spunk for her tastes. "Your friends and admirers were very worried about you, as was the Headmaster. Sure as I am that you will want to be seeing them you may wait until morning. More rest is needed."

There was no arguing with the nurse, in her ward even the dark lord was but an ant to her orders and with that the lights were off. She had turned on her heel and left apparently happy with the condition he was in.

Left to his thoughts as Harry so often was, he didn't know what to make of this. His mind was a mess and he was somewhat glad of that, not wanting to remember a more detailed version of that night might be for the best, that being said he had wasted the most part of a month sleeping, now he was expected to sleep some more.

He would try his very best. Honest!

Now he appreciated Poppy Pomfrey and all that she did, really, he did! However, Harry also respected that he was a growing boy and growing boys need food.

Mrs Weasley would be so proud right now.

He hadn't eaten anything solid in three weeks, and if he had he didn't want to know about it because to be quite frank that was a little rough. The point was he had tried his best to resist the temptation of sneaking off from Madam Pomfrey's fantastic care and he felt bad about it, he really did, and so on and so forth but honestly, after about twenty minutes of listening to his stomach and heart try to piss the other off his rebellious genes got the better of him.

Come on! The door was left wide open. All he had to do was play it cool until the witch headed for her office and after that it wasn't long before Harry found himself making his way down one of the many corridors in Hogwarts with only one thought in his mind.

The Hogwarts kitchens were definitely an experience. Call him a simpleton and you'd be right but having hundreds of little house elves running around frantically trying to outdo one another did something for his ego.

Harry supposed they didn't get too many visitors as most people didn't even know where the kitchens where. If he thought about it the boy wouldn't be able to tell you how he figured out the little trick with tickling the pear either but in this case, ignorance is bliss. Thankfully he had a little time left before the nervous crack-up showed its head.

Right now, he was the rare visitor and Harry was more than happy to put the elves to use. A chicken and cream pie laced with bacon, a few Cornish pasties and who cares that its after midnight, can't go wrong with a good ole English breakfast. When it came time to leave a butterbeer was thrust in his hand along with a few fizzy-whizzys and even a chocolate mint bing-bomb for safe keeping, everything was going smooth and with a little charming banter the fat lady even gave him the password for Gryffindor tower too.

"Ten points from Gryffindor for roaming the corridors after curfew. Thought you'd know that rule well enough by now Harry."

Why was there was always a catch when things were going so well?

"Three weeks I've been bedridden Ollie... three bloody weeks and you still don't have a shred of mercy," Harry muttered to himself from the corridor.

An obviously tired and somewhat gaunt looking Harry stepped through the fat lady's portrait before plunking himself down on the first empty chair he saw, "Just beat a man when he's down, how did you even know it was me?

"I haven't had to listen to the fat lady mouth off about some scrawny third year roaming the castle for nearly a month now, and everyone else sort of follows that rule Harry. The castles creepy at night," Ollie quipped.

Finally lifting his head from whatever book he's studying the Quidditch captain looked Harry's ragged form up and down before letting out a laugh, "Please don't tell me you were walking around the castle like that?"

"Like what," said Harry inspecting himself before realising he was in some rather revealing infirmary robes. "Oh wow, Pomfrey wasn't kidding about how strong those potions are, how did I not notice the breeze? …No wonder Bonky couldn't keep her eyes off me."

"I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that last bit."

"You reckon a guy and a house elf could, you know-"

"Nope," Ollie said quickly. "If you're struggling with the birds and the bees go to McGonagall."

Harry grimaced. There's a joke there involving her pussy cat Animagus but he's not going to force it. "Definitely not the most motherly staff member for sure. I reckon a wealthy past pupil would pay at-least 20 galleons for a memory like that, especially if I ask for diagrams."

Ollie just laughed. "So, what's this I hear about you managing to cast a full body Patronus then nearly getting kissed by a Dementor anyway? I might have to give you a day or two off Quidditch practice for that."

Harry's eye twitched, he was sort of hoping those little pieces of information hadn't made it to the rest of the school body. Ragnarok could come and go but so long as Harry could still play Quidditch Ollie was happy. "We don't have a need to practice, we sort of won the cup, remember?"

Ollie just looked at him like he was an idiot. "Yes, you twit, but I have to have you lot it tip-top condition for next year so you can win it again! Speaking of which, I'm actually trying to persuade professor McGonagall to let me come back and manage you all. Although she doesn't seem too fussed on the idea to be honest."

"Thank God," Harry muttered with a shiver giving a silent prayer that she stood firm. Thankfully his captain didn't hear him. "So, what are you doing up so late anyway, its well past midnight and by the looks of things everyone else is asleep?"

Ollie looked down at the countless pieces of parchment and books that surrounded him with a sigh, "Last minute cramming. Unlike you ickle third years the NEWT's run right up to the end of term. My test is tomorrow morning and the leaving ceremony is only a couple days after that," He grumbled. "I was sort of hoping to enjoy my last few days here but apparently not."

Seeing his captain struggling and for the sake of being curious Harry ignored his dizzy head so he could enjoy a good train wreck. Scanning the parchment and trying to ignore the many Quidditch related doodles a series of symbols and notes were scattered throughout at random, "So what's the goal here Ollie, aside from the doodles were you're...is that Katie?"

Ollie's response was a dig in the arm, much to Harry's delight. That meant he was right. Ah, he was going to enjoy telling her about this.

As for the symbols he had a good idea at what a few of them meant, well he thought he did anyway. It didn't take Harry long studying them to realise that the symbols themselves were like an old language, once you figured out what certain shapes and lines meant it was actually rather easy.

"You see that one there," Harry pointed to the top of the parchment, "I think you might have it wrong, it means fire not heat, and the symbol beside it is water. Together, they mean steam...well I think so. Don't take my word for it though I didn't even take Ancient Runes this year so it's probably wrong."

Ollie stared at his parchment for quite some time and when he realised Harry was right you would think the prefect had been hit with a weak stunner, "Don't tell me this entire time you've been a pint-sized genius at ancient runes. I could have had you helping me all year."

Harry stretched and yawned before popping another treat into his mouth. "It's news to me and you both buddy. Anyways I think I need a good night's sleep so fare thee well fat ass, yeah that's right, I seen you summoning those fizzy-whizzys out of my bag one by one Ollie, you've about as much class as the wenches on knockturn alley. I expect those ten points added back and another five out of good interest too.

As Ollie went back to cramming Harry's mind focused on the more important things in life, like if he'd be able to squeeze in a game of exploding snap with Ron before breakfast, or better yet, if he was going to have another one of those fun dreams that fourteen year old boys often had.

Harry happily popped another sweet into his mouth and smiled blissfully unaware of the changes taking place.

A/N - First chapter done and out of the way.

As for his personality, I've always sort of liked that Harry took after his father's appearance, just to spice things up a little I'm going to make my Harry take after him personality wise too. I don't see the point in going for a cannon Harry, I won't write it as well as others let alone JKR so yeah.

Expect comedy, drama, adventure and romance. I do have a paring already planned but I think I'll keep you guessing for a while.

Reviews make me happy. You can leave reviews on any chapter, no login required, and there's no need to finish reading it all before you start a review. Sorry if this comes off as being an asshole but any fellow authors will agree with me when I say that reviews are motivation, they give me ideas too so please don't be afraid to drop them even if they aren't necessarily positive ones.

All criticism is helpful.

Thanks!