Chatterbox


Sami's heart was made up of gumdrops, rainbows, and pure gold - Charlotte would never argue against this fact. He was the sweetest man alive, akin to that of a bunny, if bunnies could wrestle and whisper words of the most loving kind to her late at night. Sami seemed to exude this air of positivity, casting a radiant shine into people's lives every day just by being Sami. She was proud to have such an amazing person as a major part of her life, and even prouder to be a major part of his. There was nothing that she would ever think to change about him.

Except for maybe one thing.

Sami was, as she often described it, an interesting individual. He lived to tell grand tales for the sake of filling in the momentary silences. He commented on and pointed out the strangest things. He incessantly complained about trivial matters that had no meaningful bearing on his life whatsoever. Seriously, who cared if the local mom-and-pop diner didn't serve burgers before five in the afternoon? Order something else, nutcase!

So, maybe it was more than one thing, Charlotte told herself. Sami's 'little eccentricities,' as she called them - anything to make it seem more cute and less weird - were often a running joke around the WWE locker room. Members of the New Day would poke fun at Sami for saying something out of place. Neville often rolled his eyes whenever the redhead brought conversation to the table. Even Dana would mention something about him to Charlotte, who would in turn reprimand her protege. Still, Sami took all of this in stride. 'They're just jokes, Charlotte. I am pretty weird sometimes,' he'd tell her. She was head over heels for him, but there were moments where she wished he'd tone it down.

Like now, for example.

"I'll eat it, just give it to me. I'll eat it."

"Why do you care so much?"

"You're throwing away a perfectly good burger! Think about the cow that had to be processed and killed for that, or the starving guy outside that could be eating it right now. It's a waste!"

Charlotte made a mental note to never take Sami to a fast food place, or let him listen to another Daniel Bryan interview, ever again.

"Jesus, alright. Here. Now can you get the hell away from my family? Damn hippie."

To Charlotte's embarrassment, Sami triumphantly skipped back to their table, second cheeseburger of the afternoon in hand. Like he promised the stranger he procured it from, Sami began to take large bites out of it, Charlotte rubbing her head all the while. "Did you really have to do that?"

Sami looked as though he'd been asked if he had to save a dog from a burning building. "Of course I did! You heard that guy, right? He was going to throw it away. Why do people bother buying extra things if they're just going to throw them away?"

"I don't know. Maybe he didn't know how much he wanted to eat," Charlotte stated, holding back her irritation behind clenched teeth. She knew that this was only the beginning of the conversation. She knew all too well.

"How can you not know how much you want to eat?" Sami took a bite of his surely cold burger, his mind running at a mile a minute. It was a wonder how his mouth could even keep up with the speed of his thoughts. "I feel like that's something people are innately aware of. If I asked people at random if they wanted a burger, I think most would say 'Sure!' But if I offered them two, how many do you think would still say yes? Man, someone should do this, take a poll with results, because I'd be interested in seeing them."

Charlotte didn't even understand what part of Sami's brain conjured up these crazy scenarios, spawning them into existence with his motor mouth. It wasn't like she didn't enjoy a random conversation about insignificant things, once in a blue moon, but this was way too much. It didn't help that he'd made this odd scene in a McDonald's mere minutes ago. "Can you finish that," Charlotte lazily pointed to his half-eaten burger, "in the car? I'm getting a headache."

If Sami was bothered by her abrupt statement, he didn't show it, muttering an agreement and grabbing his jacket. Even as he pulled her chair out and opened the door for her, Charlotte felt annoyed with him. Tomorrow night, the pair would be having dinner with her friends - namely Becky and Renee - and she wanted him to be on his best behavior. The other women were only going to be in town for one more night before the Smackdown brand left for another city, and she'd only seen them once during the last few months of touring. If he ruined their get-together with a question about cemeteries or recycling or anything, she was going to personally Spear him into oblivion.

Nevertheless, she let Sami continue his rambling, even as they drove away from the McDonald's and out into the street. Charlotte took a deep breath, remembering to give him the benefit of the doubt. Maybe in a formal setting amongst friends, he'd dial it back, if only for a little while. Yes, he knew better than to ruin her plans, he had to. This dinner was going to work out swimmingly, she was sure of it.

Charlotte's thoughts were interrupted as Sami switched topics, a passing traffic light providing the perfect opportunity for him to voice his opinions about something. "Do you ever wonder how colorblind people drive?"

"What?"

"How do they see the lights? Do they have someone in the passenger's seat telling them to stop or go when they drive around? Is there some sort of app they can use? Or what if there's a slight variation in their vision that allows them to see the subtle differences in color without actually knowing what the color is?"

"Sami," Charlotte stated, putting an end to his fascinating - and she used that term with all of the sarcasm in the world - traffic light conundrum. "I'm sure you could Google this right now and get your answer." Her eyes were glued to the road, hoping that he'd take a hint. A hint-taker, however, Sami Zayn was not.

"But that defeats the whole purpose of having a conversation!" It seemed as though Charlotte's words only brought about another peeve of his to the surface. She sighed, having heard this spiel before. "Smartphones are killing modern conversation. I'm telling you, in three years, we're all just going to be speaking in weird symbols and acronyms."

"Sami!" Charlotte felt her blood beginning to boil. "I appreciate that you want to talk about everything." She forcefully gripped the steering wheel, trying to not let her anger get the better of her. "But don't you think there's times where you should give it a break?"

"I don't follow."

"Babe," Charlotte began, turning to face him now that they were stopped at a red light. "You know I think you're incredible."

"Oh man. This doesn't sound like it's leading to anything good," he stated, letting out a nervous chuckle to hide his unease.

"We're going to dinner with Becky and Renee tomorrow. I," she paused, wanting to word this in the most delicate way possible. "You have a tendency to… talk. A lot."

"Um, I still don't think I understand...?"

Charlotte shifted her gaze. This was a lot harder than she previously thought. She couldn't exactly tell him to shut up. That wouldn't be very 'good girlfriend-y' of her. "I want us all to have a good time, a-and I just think that - perhaps - if you tone it down a tiny bit, it'd be a more enjoyable time. Okay?"

Sami stared at her, unblinking, in what had to be the longest single minute of Charlotte's life.

"Well, okay."

The crestfallen look on his face, coupled with the downright dejected way he'd answered her, made Charlotte want to crawl into the nearest hole and die. She never wanted him to look like this - to not have a smile on his face at all times. She seriously asked her boyfriend to stop talking. What kind of sick, twisted person would willingly tell their significant other to stop talking? But it was definitely too late to take it back. She had to put her foot down. Right? This was the right thing to do, for her own sanity and the sanity of their friends and co-workers.

Right?

She grabbed his cheek, running her palm against its rugged surface. "Hey, I love you."

"Yeah, I love you too."

The next twenty minutes of their car ride were spent in silence, Charlotte wondering if she might've gone too far. As they passed by a recycling center with Sami saying nary a word, she knew she had her answer.

Charlotte really wished there was a cemetery around to talk about.


The four of them had been sitting for roughly twenty minutes. Or was it five? Charlotte couldn't hazard a guess, having lost all concept of time eons ago. Sami had yet to say a single word, save for a measly 'Hello' as they entered the restaurant. She wanted to join Becky and Renee in whatever conversation they were having, but the only thing she could think about was Sami. The way he sat there, completely disheartened and void of emotion after Charlotte carelessly picked away at one of his most prominent personality traits. Ironically, Sami not speaking was distracting her even more than if he were.

She fiddled with the straw in her glass, the now-lukewarm drink looking as unappealing as it did twenty minutes ago. Or was it five? Charlotte shook her head, trying for the twentieth - fifth? - time to fully invest herself in the conversation between her two friends.

"No way!" Becky was obviously adamant about something, throwing her arms in the air in wild disagreement. "It's not even prepared the same way. I refuse to believe this."

"I'm telling you," Renee stated confidently. "Hot dogs are sandwiches. Two slices of bread with a thing in the middle. There."

"A 'thing,' she says. Sure. Stick a shoe in there, call it a sandwich. It's madness."

"I don't make the rules, sister."

It was touching to see the two women engage in friendly banter. Charlotte certainly missed this. Listening to Nia drone on and on about tossing Sasha around like a rag doll didn't have the same sentiment behind it as this. It was still fun, but not as special.

Suddenly, Renee turned to Sami, Charlotte's heart sinking to the ocean floor. "What do you think, Sami? You're usually pretty, uh, interested in these things."

Damn. Even Renee noticed that something was different about him. Though she didn't say it in so many words, probably to spare his feelings. If only she had done the same, Charlotte mentally scolded herself. Maybe then she'd be enjoying this dinner instead of wondering whether or not her boyfriend had any ounce of soul left. If the Grinch's heart was able to grow three sizes, Sami's had to have shrunk by three.

Charlotte could only watch in horrified amazement as Sami shook his head, letting the silence practically engulf their entire table. Silence. She couldn't believe that she actually wanted this. This uncomfortable, empty sensation. A fatal mistake - 'fatal' in the sense that she actually wouldn't mind if a lighting strike took her out at this moment.

She couldn't handle this. She needed Sami back. As Becky and Renee trade worried glances, Charlotte decided to channel her inner Sami. "Do you ever wonder how colorblind people drive?" She felt like such a fool, but it caught the attention of Sami, who miraculously sprung to life, his head quickly whipping in her direction. "Like, how do they see the colors on the traffic light?"

"What are you doing?" she heard Sami ask, his voice a clear mix of shock and disbelief.

She went on, ignoring his skeptical gaze. "Y-Yeah, you know. Do they have people drive with them all the time? 'Hey, I need to go to the store. See you in five!' Wouldn't that get annoying?"

She had to admit, this was a lot more entertaining than she originally planned for it to be. If Sami felt this way every time he brought one of his outlandish conversations to life, she could see why he'd do it so often.

Before Charlotte had the chance to speak more on the subject, Sami was shoving her away from the table. He looked beside himself, his face a whirlwind of emotions before finally settling on 'bewildered.' "What was that?"

"What was what?" Charlotte asked, attempting to play dumb.

"First you tell me to 'tone it down,' and then you go and do that. I'm having a hard time understanding what it is you want from me." Charlotte didn't know what to say. Luckily, or unluckily for her, Sami wasn't finished. "Are you trying to show me how idiotic you think I am? I get it - I don't need you to mock me."

"No! Ugh, look." This was a mess. Charlotte didn't even know where to begin. "I was embarrassed before, I can admit that. You do these strange things and talk about things people don't normally talk about. Sometimes it just gets on my nerves. It makes me think people are staring at us. And not for the reasons they should be."

"It's pretty apparent that you care entirely too much about the way others think of you."

"I'm willing to accept that I may have a slight problem with wanting to look amazing at all times." Sami smiled, his first showing of a positive emotion all night. Baby steps, Charlotte told herself. "I thought that if I could get you to keep quiet, it'd make things easier, but then I actually looked at you. You looked miserable."

"Was I really that bad?"

"I've seen trees with more life in them." Sami began fidget about, catching her attention. "What is it?"

"Well… trees are technically as alive as we are, so that's not too off the mark."

"You're doing it again." Sami opened his mouth to apologize, but Charlotte swiftly cut him off, a slender, manicured finger placed against his lips. "But that's who you are, and I just can't stand to see you miserable. I want you to be yourself. That's the man I fell in love with."

"The man with devilish good looks?"

"Sami."

"Right. I'm doing it again."

"You are. But you're right."

In the middle of a crowded restaurant, with her two friends undoubtedly watching from afar, Charlotte gracefully placed her lips onto Sami's own. While they whispered sweet nothings to each other between breaths of air, Charlotte couldn't begin to fathom why she ever wanted these lips - these perfect lips of her lover - to stop moving. Never again, she told herself. This man was amazing and she didn't care who knew, didn't care who saw their display.

When they broke apart, Sami took Charlotte by the hand, the woman accepting without question, and led her back to their table where Becky and Renee waited with questions of their own.

"You two alright?" Renee asked.

"The heck was that all about?"

"Actually," Sami spoke, for the first time to the other women. "I was telling Charlotte that she proposed a pretty good question before. You know, if you really think about it, eyesight is honestly one of the more bizarre senses. There's so many colors and lights. You almost start to wonder if there's something you don't catch."

"Like," Charlotte jumped in, "maybe if our eyes don't always see every little detail."

"Exactly! See, you get what I'm talking about here."

Renee seemed as though she was struggling to keep up. Becky gave up entirely, choosing to continue her dinner, taking a second only to point the tip of her fork between the couple. "You guys are a pair of weirdos."

Charlotte looked to Sami, who shrugged his shoulders. She couldn't help but return the goofy smile that he wore on his face.

"Yeah, we are pretty weird sometimes."

End