I literally race through the lightly trafficked streets of Boston, the blue light and siren of my unmarked care are switched on so that I can get through lightly.

My heart is pounding and my hands are sweating. If I didn't know better I'd think that this is my very first car chase and that I'm afraid to endanger other road users, but I know better. This is a race against time, and if I'm late ... I don't want to think about it. I just know I could never forgive myself.

Korsak, Frankie and I were about to discuss a case in detail when I got a call from my mother. As soon as I hung up, I grabbed my keys and ran out of the bullpen without putting the two men further into the picture. I just stammered that I had to leave immediately. When I was running out of the bullpen I heard them shouting that I should wait and what was actually going on. I didn't waste time answering their questions.

I'm pretty sure that Ma would give Frankie a call and would put him in the picture, too.

I don't know what I am more right now, scared or excited. I've only had this kind of feeling twice in my life and once it had turned into sheer despair.

I better don't think about this time now, we left it behind and survived it almost unscathed, at least that's what I keep telling myself.

Now is not the time to think about the past that can no longer be undone, now is the time to look forward and focus on the future.

Don't get me wrong, it doesn't mean I'm forgetting the past, I could never, but tonight is the night Maura and I can start all over again.

I should probably stop thinking about everything and concentrate on traffic before I cause an accident and am taken to the hospital under bad circumstances. I don't think my family could ever forgive me that.

I have the feeling that it takes me an eternity to finally arrive at the hospital and that all drivers are slowing down because it seems to be fun to block a police car.

Î honk every few seconds as a reaction I see brake lights flare up. I curse under my breath and pass them without a second thought.

I hit the breaks when I realize that I'm about to drive past the hospital and the other drivers honk like crazy, which I can understand. I swear to God, it was a bad idea to drive on my own. I'm surprised I made it here in one piece.

I feel like I'm floating through the hospital corridor. Immediately the memory germinates in me again when we freed Maura from the clutches of Taylor O'Keefe and panic me by the throat, tightening its grip, but I know that Maura's fine, well, as fine as she can be under these circumstances, besides my mother is probably hovering her.

I reach my destination and see my mother as well as Hope standing in front of the room that's supposed to be Maura's, both women look beyond worried and my panic gets bigger.

I literally run towards them and before I can take a deep breath I ask, "What's wrong? Why aren't you with Maura? Is something wrong?" I look into their puzzled faces and I wonder even more why they had the time to get coffee from the cafeteria instead of being at my wife's side supporting her until I arrive. The feeling of panic is replaced by boiling anger.

Before I get the chance to rumble, my mother puts a hand on my arm and says with a smile, "Jane, calm down, Maura's fine."

My shoulders sack and I look at a smiling Hope. Unfortunately, Constance wasn't able to fly in from Europe so spontaneously.

Somehow Hope's smile has something soothing and my pulse calms down a little. I furrow my brows and realize that Ma tried to call me about seven hours ago and sent me countless messages saying that I should get my ass to the hospital. Unfortunately, I was in the middle of an interrogation at that time and I didn't have my phone with me. That's why I start to stammer, "I was ... I ... I was in an interrogation ... I ... Is Maura really okay?"

I hear Ma groan and she turns me to the room. "Just get in there, Jane."

"I -"

"Don't you dare saying that you can't go in there." She says warningly and I hear Hope snicker. "You've done this to Maura."

"Actually -" I try to protest.

"Get in there," Ma says and pushes me towards the door.

I stumble forward and stare at it and take a deep breath before I open it. I don't know what I was expecting. Probably a wheezing and screaming Maura, cursing God and the world, especially because I wasn't at her side all the time while she was pushing herself through this. But to be fair, she was the one who insisted this morning that I'll go to work even though she felt uncomfortable.

I stick my head into the hospital room and I don't hear wheezing or screaming or cursing. All I see is an exhausted Maura and I swallow hard. "I'm sorry I'm late but -"

"Sshh," she cuts me off with a tired but wide smile and I immediately shut up with a frown.

Only now I notice that she's holding a small bundle in her arms and my heart drops.

Is it possible that I missed one of the most important moments in our lives because of my damn work? I step a little closer and try to ask, "Is that -"

"Yes," she says when I trail off and her smile is indescribable as I stand by her bed. I hardly breathe as I look down at the little creature in her arms. "Oh," I breathe.

I have two younger brothers, but when they joined the family I was much too young to understand why everyone was so excited about it. I rather saw them like intruders than new family members.

Today it's different, I am afraid that there are so many things that Maura and I could do wrong but that feeling is pushed to the side by the joy that I can't describe with words.

I study the delicate features of our newborn daughter's face and touch a tiny little finger. I hardly keep my grin in check when she opens hazel eyes and is yawning almost monstrously. "Hi," I whisper and my chest's bursting with pride and new love. "Hi, baby." I can't believe I missed our daughter's birth and look apologizing at Maura. "I'm sorry I wasn't here."

Maura sees that I mean it and shakes her head. "Do you wanna hold her?"

"You sure?"

Maura rolls her eyes and hands me our still nameless daughter.

I take the bundle into my arms and start to rock her because she starts whining as soon as she is separated from her mother. She has an olive complexion, wavy black hair just like mine, and hazel eyes like Maura's. I smile like a Cheshire cat but frown. "What shall we call you?"

"I like the name Viola, Maura says and I glance at her.

Who am I do deny Maura's wish but I look at the girl and ask anyway. "Are you a Viola?"

She looks at me with those big hazel eyes her mother has and my heart skips a beat. "Viola it is."

I look long at Maura and say softly before I kiss her gently. "You did great, Maura. I love you so much."

She smiles broadly at me what makes me kiss her once more. "I love you too."

I sit down on the edge of her bed but can't keep my eyes off our daughter. "You are our light in darkness, little girl."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

So, that's it. That's the end of the story and I hope that you've enjoyed the ride. I hate that it ended but it had to.

Thanks for all the wonderful thoughts and that you stayed with this story. I can't thank you enough.

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

With all my love,

T73