Disclaimer: I do not own FMA at all. This is purely for entertainment purposes.

Author's Note: This is the second chapter I'm posting this round. I encourage reviews on both this and the previous chapter, mostly so I know what comments/reviews go with which chapter. I also want to say that since I'm incorporating bits of foreign language into this chapter, I may have translated things wrong as Google Translate is fairly limited. If you believe I've translated wrongly, please review or PM me.

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Chapter 19: In Which a Little Trust Develops (Perhaps)

Dad wouldn't let me test out. Grandma even said that the problems in school would eventually resolve, but that didn't mean that things got better. Laura had initially wavered between me and the other two, but wound up spending more time with them as they were making new friends with others that were 'cooler', one of whom was the school's athletic star she liked.

I just wound up isolated.

Most of my off time would be spent within the library doing homework before I ever got home. That way, I could read up on alchemy and try to help in some small way to expedite Edward and Alphonse's healing. After some small convincing, I'd learned what exactly they'd done that night over a year ago and how they'd been injured. Said story had left me with nightmares after that. At least they'd been vague nightmares, but they'd still had me starting awake in fright at night.

Walking away from the building after yet another lonely day of school, I knew it would be worthless to explain to my father I wanted to get out of it for very good reason. I wasn't just trying to 'grow up too fast' or something. I was turning in perfect work, trying to prove that this all was too easy for me, but he wasn't budging on his stance. Unlike me, many students were chattering with each other and some were even playing and having fun. I had none of that.

At least I was being given the cold shoulder rather than being hurt physically by my former friends.

Like usual when they were in town, Ed and Al were waiting outside. I immediately found a smile on my lips, moving to meet with them. "Hey!" I cheerily greeted. Ed's lips quirked even as Alphonse greeted me.

"Hi, Dawn! How are you today?"

"Much better now that I'm out of school," I told him. "How has your studying gone today?"

"Got nowhere important," Ed mused as we began walking away from my school.

"Well, I have a few ideas that I know won't work, but might give you new ideas," I offered carefully. Edward frowned at that.

"What do you mean?" asked Alphonse. "If they don't work, why would they give us ideas?"

"Well, you told me your story about how you guys got hurt, right?" I noted.

"Yeah?" Ed asked. "What about it?" He hadn't really wanted to go over it with me, but had relented when I'd pointed out there might be useful information in the telling.

"Well, the reason is that I know you won't do what I came up with, but I have some theories as to how things went down that night that maybe you've not thought of. Come to my house and I'll tell you."

"Alright."

We went to my apartment, and I guided them inside. I saw they were looking around curiously, mostly because they'd never been there, even as I fetched my alchemy things. "It's like this," I began, laying out a few papers. "You said when you initially tried to transmute your mother, it took just your leg and took all of Al's body." I directed this at Edward. He looked a bit guilty at that. "You said you went to this Truth place, where it took an equivalence for whatever you tried to do. Why did it only take your leg and Al's entire body? That doesn't seem very equal, does it? And you both were in an equal amount."

"Actually, Al was into it less than I was," Ed pointed out cautiously, darting a glance at Alphonse. "I persuaded him. But, you're right. Between the two of us, we should have lost an equal amount."

"I think, in a roundabout way, you both lost out equally. You wanted your mom. He's the last piece other than your own blood that is a piece of your mom." I pointed at Alphonse. Both brothers looked curious at that.

"That's a fair point," Alphonse considered.

"And then, after that, you sacrificed just your arm to get his soul back?"

"Yeah?" Ed mused, probably trying to figure out how things were going.

"I don't think you actually did get his soul back."

"What?!"

"Of course I did!" Both sounded horrified.

"Would you listen?! There's no way you could have paid just an arm to get his soul if it took your leg and his body to fail getting your mom back. And I've got another thought about that, but let's stick with this for the moment." Both were looking suitably horrified. "This is only theory, but what if you paid an arm to essentially tie spiritual strings from his soul onto the armor? You didn't get him back, but you've tied him to this world in some oddball effort to keep him here?"

"That doesn't even make sense," he complained.

"Just look at the rentanjutsu, Ed. This stuff talks about stuff that I've never seen in our alchemy and this is just a sampling. The circle you used to seal Al to the armor is unlike any Amestrian alchemy I've ever seen. What if you in desperation did something that wasn't even proper Amestrian alchemy?"

He paused and took a long look at his brother. Then he looked at the papers I had put on the table. "What's your theory about our mom?" he asked. I paused to gather my thoughts.

"What if you could have never revived her?" I offered. I saw his constipated look at that. "If you think about it, life and death are two sides of the same coin. I know this gets a bit spiritual, so bear with me. For the most part, there's a really good reason someone has died. Old age, illness, a dangerous wound… Even just the heart stopping for no apparent reason. But, under certain circumstances, you can revive the dead so long as it's been within a few minutes."

"Are you saying I died that night?" Alphonse asked suddenly. I hadn't thought of that.

"Maybe?" I hedged, noting Ed's sick look. "But, what I was trying to get at is this: no one has successfully resuscitated a person after a quarter of an hour. By that point, the delicate tissues have already started dying due to a lack of oxygen." I looked back at Edward. "But what if being so long gone, she never had a chance of coming back? Much less to a body that was most certainly not hers to begin with."

"So, what do you think we created that night, then?" asked Edward softly.

"I don't know. But I can almost guarantee that it wasn't your mom. Not when she had exited life years before. And there was a good chance that she wouldn't have been able to come back to life as her old self. Even if you'd been able to find her exact soul, she would have never likely been the same person." His hands were clenching before him as silence descended between us. I drew a breath before continuing.

"What I think also is that you can technically get your arm back at any time," I told him. Al shifted straight upright.

"How?!"

"However, I know it won't be a method you would implement," I said then. "Not at the cost of the very thing you used to buy with it." I looked pointedly at Alphonse. "It makes sense that if his arm equals your ability to interact with the world through the armor, reversing the equation would restore his limb." Alphonse stared, mute with horror.

"I'd never do that!" snarled Edward.

"I know. I'm putting out there ideas that you might be able to build off of." He paused at that. "The whole point of your quest is to heal the both of you, Ed. But, since you didn't actually buy his soul with your arm, whenever you figure out how to bring his body back, you could get your arm back by cutting the strings, so to speak."

"That's a great idea," Alphonse considered. "I mean, it doesn't restore his leg, but it would be better than nothing, right?"

"I won't do it now," hissed Ed.

"Of course not, Brother! But we have a way to heal you even only partially!" I nodded in agreement.

Edward sat there for a moment, considering his automail limb that was currently exposed and ungloved. Here recently, he'd taken to wearing coverings and, while he did say it was for cleanliness, I wondered if it had something to do with the stigma of being a child with an obvious disability. He already wore thick-soled boots, I suspected, not so much for the height they provided but to somewhat conceal how heavy he sometimes stepped with his left foot. His golden eyes considered the metal before looking to Alphonse just as speculatively. I sat quietly, allowing him to think. Alphonse was also quietly allowing for it.

"You have a point, Dawn," he mused, looking at me. "If an equation works forwards, it has to work backwards, too. And I don't care so much about the arm or my leg, but… the fact that we can figure out something to reverse what I'd done…"

"What we'd done. Regardless of you encouraging me, Brother," Alphonse said seriously in that high-pitched tone, "we both did that thing together." He sighed. It was strange to hear someone who didn't breathe sigh. "But it doesn't bring us all that much closer to healing me so we can help you."

I nodded. "Which is why you're using the military. Believe me when I say Dad definitely encourages that." Edward grunted, glancing about us again. "Now, what do you two say to possibly trying to find out some more about Xingese alchemy?" I lifted one of the pages I'd sketched out a simple five-pointed transmutation circle. "Maybe the answer isn't here, but there."

"What if it is proprietary information?" Ed asked.

"There's got to be books over there for sale," I encouraged. "All we have to do is order some books from a caravan and get them when they come back."

The two brothers looked at each other, curiosity and enthusiasm mounting.

"Let's do this!" Alphonse encouraged.

"Yeah, let's do this!" Ed grinned.

.

Several hours later, Dad came home and found us still theorizing and dissecting the book that I'd gotten from the boys' father years ago. The first thing was how the two differed. It was obvious that the five-pointed circle was their base circle and that anything after that had to be built off of that, but how did it differ from alchemy here?

"What are you three doing?" Dad asked, eyeballing us all sitting around the coffee table as he came in. I paused in my perusal of philosophies even as Edward looked up.

"Welcome home, Dad," I greeted. "I hope you don't mind I invited them over."

"No, I don't," he mused.

"Good evening, Colonel Mustang," Alphonse greeted even as Ed frowned slightly.

"Good evening, Alphonse," smiled my father. "Are you and your brother staying for dinner?"

"I'd rather not intrude."

"It's fine. It's not like it costs me any different you eating here or at Sarah's." He paused. "If you want to, Dawn, you can call your grandmother and see if she wants to come over for dinner."

"What do you mean, 'it costs the same'?" demanded Edward suddenly. I glanced at the suspicious boy.

"It means that I've been supplementing Sarah with money to ensure you don't eat all her food," Dad told him bluntly, smirking at the surprise on Ed's face. I internally groaned.

"You have, sir?" queried Alphonse. Dad nodded as he shouldered off his uniform jacket.

"She fights me over it, but I don't listen to her," he waved off. At that, I allowed myself to snicker slightly. "I have enough money thanks to my job that I could do so a few times over." Edward was still silent. "Xiao-Hua, please go start on dinner while I get changed. And call your grandmother."

"Yes, Dad!"

Dinner was relatively simple, and I mainly focused on filling foods so that Edward didn't have to worry about his ever-emptying stomach growling in the next few hours. Grandma had declined coming over, taking a chance to have a quiet evening. I enjoyed the generally amiable atmosphere.

"Why don't you act like this all the time?" Ed half-demanded of my father.

"I beg your pardon?" Dad wondered.

"You've not once insulted me this evening. Why don't you do that at the military campus?"

"Brother!" chided Alphonse. "That's rude!"

"I leave work at work," Dad told him, disregarding Alphonse's horror. "Unless you want me to fight with you?" Edward's gaze turned mulish.

"No," he muttered sourly. I snickered into my dinner, earning a flick at my ear.

"Dad!"

"Behave," he commanded. He looked at Edward. "You've got too much of an independent streak, Fullmetal. Part of the reason I do what I do to you is to keep your ire focused on me rather than have you cause trouble for others." Edward's gaze turned surprised at that. "Besides, I know how spirited children are…" He gave me a long look, encouraging my cheeks to turn warm. "…and I'd much rather you disrespect me over someone that can make your life truly miserable."

I'd told him this, of course, but apparently Ed didn't believe it until it came from – hah – the 'horse's mouth'. Edward looked down at his plate.

"Just don't do anything foolish before those that won't keep their mouths shut," Dad advised. "That's all I ask. I don't want you to lose your chance at helping yourselves with the military's resources." There was a long moment of silence before Edward looked up again.

"Mustang," he said soberly, "Do you know of anyone that practices Xingese alchemy in Amestris?" Dad blinked in the change of conversation.

"No," he mused speculatively. "Not offhand. Why do you ask?"

"Dawn showed us some stuff out of our dad's journal," Alphonse told him. "It's called 'rentanjutsu' according to his notes, but there's not enough information to make a really good effort to learn it. We were curious if you knew of any hidden resources of alchemy here in Amestris that might allow us to learn Xingese alchemy."

"Your father knew this different alchemy?" wondered Dad. "Hm. Interesting. Well, I can certainly look into some information, pull some favors. I could even have Hughes check the records in Central to see if there's someone in their records that uses this… What did you call it?"

"Rentanjutsu," I informed. He nodded.

"You've not tried it, have you?"

"Everyone knows you don't start a story in the middle of a book, Dad," I said, rolling my eyes. He looked amused at my rebuttal. "Still, the things hinted at seem to be way more advanced medically speaking. I'd like to learn so I can help heal." He nodded again, glancing over to the boys.

"Then I can see if there's any information to be had. If not, perhaps you could see about finding someone that deals with Xingese imports. If they have something useful, it would go a long way to expanding our own knowledge here, too." He ate a little before adding, "And I'd like to see what you have."

"Of course!" I agreed immediately, Alphonse also nodding, even though Ed frowned slightly.

.

I noticed how Edward was acting a little odd. Well, a little odder than usual. "What's wrong?" I asked once Al was out of earshot as he went on to look at some of the shelves. He wrinkled his nose at me, which was kind of funny looking and I replicated the expression right back. It was a few days later and, honestly, I didn't get was wrong with him.

"Your dad."

"What did he say?" I asked curiously.

"Nothing." He looked back to his book. I blinked at this response.

"Ed, what's wrong?" His hand clenched as he glared at the unoffending pages. "Ed?"

"It's not fair," he bit out. I felt my eyebrows rise. "It's not fair he sticks around when my asshole of a father never came back. They're both jerks, so… What made Mustang stick around when my father didn't?" I was actually taken aback by the question. Edward looked at me and absorbed my look. Then he looked back down at his book. "Never mind."

I stared at him before starting slightly as Alphonse returned. "I found a few more books that might help our research," he offered, setting them down. He then apparently caught the mood. "What happened?" I looked to Edward.

"Ed, I don't know," I told him, aching a little. "I… I told him he should go home. I don't know why he didn't. And, honestly, there are days that I… that I think Dad shouldn't have kept me." He looked at me in surprise.

"What's going on?" asked Alphonse again.

"Ed asked why my dad stuck around while yours didn't," I admitted a bit bluntly. Edward looked a bit guilty. "The bad part is I don't have a good reason as to why my dad stayed around. Maybe, he just felt he had to be there for me at first as he had a hand in my creation. He was just a kid himself at the time, you know." I looked at him imploringly, reaching out to hold his unyielding metal hand. He looked up. It was probably extremely forward, but I think he needed the contact even if he couldn't feel it. "I don't know why your dad didn't stay. Or even come back."

I didn't want to tell him my suspicion, that it wasn't them that he loved. That he had only loved their mother. Some people were like that, or so I guessed. Emotions were complicated and each person reacted to the chemical reactions in their bodies differently.

I withdrew my hand. "I know Dad can't be your dad. Not even a little so long as you're in the military, but… can you accept him as someone who won't turn his back on you?" He stared at me silently before abruptly shoving up and walking away. I looked to Alphonse in confusion.

"Let him go," Al encouraged. "If he doesn't come back soon, we'll go look for him. Sometimes Brother can't process easily enough."

"Oh. I didn't know." He nodded, armor faintly rasping.

"It's okay. Dad's a hard subject for him."

"I understand that," I murmured.

Eventually, Edward did come back, but he didn't speak further on the subject nor did he try to broach any kind of possibly related one.

I did notice, though, that Ed seemed to feel a little better.

.

Despite the crappiness of day-to-day school, I was flourishing outside it. Edward and Alphonse hadn't yet managed to procure Xingese alchemy books, not having any luck in some of the markets that occasionally popped up to sell objects from the Far East. The men who ran these markets didn't have any, or so they said, despite the fact that they were interested in selling various other things from silk textiles to paper umbrellas to rugs of amazing quality. I procured a few scrolls to see if I could translate, though they were supposedly just poetry, on these excursions. Edward thought I was being foolish, but Alphonse noted that if I became educated enough in the language, I could prove very useful when it came to translating rentanjutsu books.

I had gotten a few other things as well, including a few different teas, and a few other spices that were useful in cooking. "I don't see why you don't just put in an order," I told Edward. He had come back with a disgusted look as I bit into the prune I'd purchased as fresh produce certainly didn't do well with the desert heat.

"I tried," he groused, glancing around. "Apparently, there isn't a great draw for them. I tried to offer incentive to pay well enough if they did bring them, but none of them wanted to." I looked to a nearby merchant who I had gotten the prunes from. Unfortunately for me, the old woman didn't seem to be very up-and-up with Amestrian, so I wasn't too certain about asking her. Despite my obvious Xingese heritage, there was a sort of clannishness that excluded me as firmly as it excluded the boys.

"That sucks," I groused. "Maybe we can talk with some of the other vendors. Prune?" I held one out and watched him make a face at the dried fruit. "It's good."

"You eat weird things, Dawn."

"You are a very mean person, Edward."

"You two are terrible," sighed Alphonse. "Come on. Let's ask around."

Several hours later, I was hot and tired. Ed wasn't that much better. We had met a few interested parties willing to barter with us, for some reason warming up to Edward because he was something they called a 'kin-hito', but they weren't very forthcoming on whether or not they could actually get the texts in question.

Edward still had to ask, though. "What does that mean?" he asked one fairly well-spoken merchant. "What is a 'kin-hito'?" The man looked surprised.

"It translates to a golden person," he told him in accented Amestrian. "According to our culture, it is said that a golden person is…" He paused, hummed thoughtfully. "There are multiple ways of saying it. 'Hito' obviously means 'person'. 'Kin' means 'gold'."

"Right…?" Ed mused thoughtfully.

"The full saying is 'kin no hito wa shin no hitodesu'. A gold person is a true person'. It is a way of saying a person of your coloring is indicative of you being an immortal person."

"That's ridiculous. I'm not immortal," Ed immediately brushed off.

"But it is directly tied to the legend of the Sage of the West."

"Sage of the West?" questioned Alphonse. The man nodded.

"Yes. We called him 'Nishi no Sēji', but he was said to be golden of hair and eyes like you. He taught us how to use rentanjutsu, stop the Emperor and his family from drinking suigin, a dangerous liquid silver metal I do not know the name of in your language, they believed would extend their lives." I realized what he meant.

"Mercury," I realized, garnering a glance of surprise. "A liquid silver metal? Mercury. Or gallium, but… I would bet it is mercury." The man hummed as Ed gained an incredulous look.

"Why would anyone think that would help you live longer?"

"Brother!" chastised Alphonse. "They probably didn't know back then!"

"I'm sorry," I prompted as Ed gained a mulish look. "Go on?" The man nodded.

"Rentanjutsu was not so refined as it is now," advised the merchant thoughtfully. "It was dependent on kusuri, magic liquids made of bits and pieces of various things. But when Nishi no Sēji came to Xing, he taught us new methods of healing and stopped the practice of drinking suigin. It has become a new art, more powerful than the original art. It has the same name to remind us of the origin of our people and to caution them against being foolish."

"So, is there any way we can learn some of this art?" I asked hopefully. "We can't find any books on rentanjutsu here in Amestris, and I'd love to learn how to help heal. I want to be a doctor in the future. Well, an animal doctor more than a human doctor."

"Such can be done with rentanjutsu," he agreed with a wry smile. "I do not know much of the art, though. Merely the history and the importance of it in Xing. I could try to obtain books for you, I suppose. But they are not simple."

"I can figure it out," I assured him. "Can you get us some?"

"Yes. Let us discuss how much you wish to pay per book now, hm? So I can know how much to buy."

Edward's grin turned wolfish at the offering. "Let's start at fifteen hundred sens per book," he suggested. "And a transport fee of five hundred per book." The man looked amused. "I want a lot. Starting with a good variety of beginner books that won't be as expensive and some of the moderate texts focused on general practice and specialized healing. After we get those, we'll see about buying more. You can get steady business from us on this."

"Well, then, young one. Let us start the negotiation. And, while we talk, would you be willing to buy some other wares?" He gestured to the spread near him.

.

"If this works out, this is going to be amazing," Ed exulted hours later as we left the market. "An honest, solid lead."

"And perhaps there's stuff in our alchemy that might provide us with the ability to blend the two," I mused as the blonde boy practically skipped. Alphonse, who would undoubtedly rattle if he did skip, pointedly didn't do what his brother was almost doing. I was grinning at Ed's exuberance.

"Maybe the path to recovery is in this direction!" Alphonse encouraged. "Maybe we won't have to worry about a Philosopher's Stone!"

"What's this?" I asked, surprised.

"Brother read about a thing called a Philosopher's Stone. It's supposed to negate the cost required for transmutation."

"We may still have to use it," Ed noted wryly. "If only to ensure that nothing goes wrong."

"Wait, are you talking about some magic fix-all?" I asked, incredulous. Something about this sounded fishy and not just because I subscribed to the phrase 'if something is too good to be true, it usually was'.

"Not magic, Dawn," griped Ed, shooting me a pout. "Hold on. I've got the info written down about it and I'll show it to you." I frowned thoughtfully. "It's definitely not magic."

"But you're describing it as a 'fix-all'," I pointed out. "There is no such thing."

"Okay, Negative Nellie," groaned Edward.

"Brother, be nice. You know as well as I do that it is kind of farfetched!" chided Alphonse. "If it's real, it's rare enough that it's considered a prize possession. Anything that can negate the need for equivalent exchange is powerful. And therefore it will be protected."

"Which is why we need to figure out how to make it ourselves!"

Right as I was about to speak, I felt a light brush. I turned just in time to see someone hurry past in long strides. Instantly, panic surged and my hand fled to my jacket pocket. "Guys! He stole my wallet!" I cried. The person immediately broke into a run at my words. Just as immediately, both boys wheeled around to chase him. I ran after, slower than they were, because I really didn't want to be left behind even as they got ahead of me. Chasing them around a corner, I caught sight of Ed's coat turning into an alley and hoped they hadn't got too far away.

When I arrived, I got a surprise. Ed had my wallet in my hand and Alphonse had the thief in a headlock. Said thief glared with red eyes from where he dangled in Al's arms as he tried to find purchase on the large steel arms.

"Check if everything's there," Ed told me, tossing me my wallet. I looked and, sure enough, all my money seemed to be present as was my identification and the pictures I had of my family members.

"It's there. Why did you steal it?" I demanded of him even as the red eyes registered. "You're Ishvalan!" Indeed he was. Red eyes, light blonde hair, and tanned skin… All indicators of Ishvalan heritage.

"So what if I am, Ammy?!" he spat. "Let me go!" I felt like I'd been slapped.

"That's downright rude," Alphonse chided. "We could hand you over to the police for stealing, you know." The young man's lip curled further.

"Man, my first true encounter with an Ishvalan and I can't see why Uncle Urey and Aunt Sara wanted to go help them," Edward groused. The Ishvalan spat towards him. Edward made a face, frowning at the spot on the pavement. "Yeah…"

"Hope they died, stupid Ammys!" Edward's gaze snapped up as Al froze.

"They did, you asshole," Ed said coldly, "while healing your brethren." The young man sneered. "The Rockbells. Ever hear of them?" The sneer froze. "Yeah. Guess not. If you hate Ammys, then you've never met them." He looked at me. "What do you want to do? It's your wallet he stole." I was silent for a long moment, staring at the captive.

"Why did you steal from me?" I asked. Ed frowned as Al shifted. The man looked a little uncertain now, still hanging from Al's grasp.

"Why does it matter?" he groused bitterly.

"Why did you? I want to know." Edward wasn't looking too happy now.

"To get food. What else?" He snorted. "You don't know what it's like to be Ishvalan. Forced to hide, eat scraps passed over by people who think they're your betters… You looked so arrogant and dressed so nice, I knew you'd have money."

I didn't think I looked arrogant.

"If you actually knew Dawn, you'd know she's this little timid thing that barely has a spine," Ed grinned, amused. He then gave me a long look. "You're going to be a bleeding heart, aren't you?" I shot him a guilty look.

"I don't go hungry," I told him. "I've been very lucky that I've always had everything I've needed. Let him go, Al." I dug the money out of the wallet as Alphonse, at my request, let the Ishvalan go.

"Dawn, he's a criminal."

"Ed… There's always someone in a worse position." I handed out the money to the surprised Ishvalan. "Take it. It isn't much, but…" He stared at the money in shock. "…if you use it right, I'm sure you can get some chickens or something to give you food for longer."

He gave me a long, assessing look. "Why? Are you pitying me?"

"No," I assured, thinking to my father. "I just know that not every Amestrian wanted to hurt Ishvalans. My dad is one of them." He gave me an incredulous look as he carefully took the money.

"Who is your dad?"

"Someone you hate," I assured with a sad smile. "Come on, guys." Edward rolled his eyes as the man retreated.

"I hadn't realized how much distrust developed between Amestris and Ishval," mused Alphonse as the fellow vanished from sight around a corner.

"Are you surprised?" I wondered. "After all, Amestris incorporated their territory, allowed them to be part of this country, and for no discernable reason turned on them. The bad part is that there are those that actually enjoyed the destruction out there. Dad told me about this one person named Kimblee that delighted in killing people. There were a few others, but Dad thinks he enjoyed it the most…" I walked from the alleyway, Alphonse and Edward coming after me. "But most, like Dad, didn't understand 'why' even if they were forced to fight. If there was a clear reason, even if it was a bunch of smaller ones that became a big one, perhaps it would be more understandable. Or if there was a use for that land beyond the Ishvalans living on it. After all, no one else wanted it. But all that happened was a meaningless war where people died for no really decent reason."

"You learned all of that from the Colonel?" Alphonse asked, and I nodded.

"He has nightmares," I told them sadly, earning a surprised noise from the armor. "Him and Aunt Riza and Uncle Maes… There are others, like Mr. Armstrong. Most went into the desert and… then left a piece of themselves there."

"That's sick," Ed sighed as he stuffed his hands in his pockets. "You're not supposed to humanize him, Dawn."

"Why not? He is human." He gave me a pout as we continued back the way we came.

"I think Brother just doesn't like it when someone proves that your dad might be a nice person who has been forced to not be as nice because of life, Dawn," Alphonse pointed out.

"True," I mused.

"But, really. If there was no real reason for it, why did the government authorize the extermination of Ishval?" Ed wondered. We pondered this until another questionable incident came to my mind.

"Probably the same kind of reasoning that allowed the government to completely contradict its own rules and take a twelve-year-old on as a State Alchemist," I pointed out. "Wasn't it Bradley that made the decision?" I whispered to him, afraid of being found out for speaking poorly of the man.

"Yeah," Ed mused. "And it was likely Bradley that made the decision to wipe out Ishval, too," he mused. He looked at us then. "That's crappy."

"It is," agreed Alphonse.

"It is," I also said. I glanced over my shoulder, not seeing the Ishvalan. Then, I looked forward and hummed thoughtfully. "But, on the other hand, we will be getting rentanjutsu books in the near future, right?" There was an extended pause before the mood lightened considerably.

"Right!"

.

"This is…" I scanned the dictionary I had, busily translating the Xingese poem I had. "No… That doesn't make sense…" I scanned further, trying to find the word I wanted. "Ah, what is 'bubble snow'?" I muttered, complaining slightly.

"What are you doing?" I winced at the voice, realizing my sanctuary had been casually violated. I was in the library, doing one of my translations after having finished the homework from the morning classes. "What is this? Going back to your roots?" taunted my former friend. There were a few giggles, though when I glanced up, Laura looked a little guilty to be laughing. I turned my attention to Amy, who had spoken.

"No, not really. I'm learning how to translate so that when I get some other books from Xing, I can translate them easier." Admittedly, I would only be learning the written form, not the spoken, but at least there were sound translations available. I had three dictionaries, covering two forms of the writing, but sometimes it was hard to decipher the kind of writing used at times.

"What a nerd," mocked Jackie.

"Yes, I am," I agreed. "Smart is the new black." My smirk and response seemed to throw them slightly.

"What's that supposed to mean?" asked a confused Laura.

"It doesn't matter," I dismissed, returning my gaze to the poem at hand. "So, 'awa-yuki' means 'bubble snow'… It's kind of poetic, though I don't know what it means. Any ideas?"

"I thought you were smart," Amy accused.

"Yeah, but more for science than poetry. "Maybe it'll make more sense as I translate." I looked up. "So, is there anything else you want, or are you just here to be petty?"

Fury flashed across Amy's face, a frown creased Jackie's, and Laura looked uncomfortable, glancing towards the desk that I, like usual, sat in full view of. "You still think you're better than us!" she sneered.

"I wasn't the one that pissed off the State Alchemist with the impressive lung capacity in a public library," I told her. Her eyes gleamed in nasty delight.

"You swore!" she said triumphantly.

"And?" I asked, nonplussed.

"You're going to get in trouble now. I'm going to tell the librarian!" I gave her a long look before shrugging and turning back to my work.

"Go ahead. I've got stuff to learn."

Amy did go off to tell, taking her friends with her. I sat patiently, waiting for the fallout. When the librarian, Mrs. Underhill, came over, I wasn't surprised to see her distressed look. "Miss Shoemaker said you swore," she told me, the girls hovering behind her.

"I know." She sighed, looking at me over her glasses.

"Miss Mustang, what was the word?"

"Pissed. As in, someone got pretty angry." She frowned, considered my words, and then shook her head.

"And why did you say it?"

"I was advising Amy she was the one that made a friend of mine so angry, he wound up screaming at her in a library because she insulted him, and got us all thrown out."

"What did she say?"

"That Ed couldn't possibly be a State Alchemist. That he was too short to be one." I looked at her with annoyance on my features. "She'd been accusing me of being a liar for a long while, a showoff, and pretty much a pest. I don't really care if you send me to the office, ma'am."

"You should. Being troublesome is bad."

"Being away from them is better. They came in here only to harass me." She frowned before turning to the three girls. The fact that she turned fast enough to see the smug smirk on Amy's face was just great.

"I see," she mused, turning back to me. "Well, I'll let this slide once, dear. You've never been a trouble." She smirked softly. "And if they leave soon, I'll give you a treat." I laughed.

"You're not supposed to eat in the library, Mrs. Underhill!"

"True, but this could be our little secret? Just don't get anything on the books." I nodded as she walked away to the trio. I looked down to my poem, feeling great.

"So, that next line…" The three girls, I noted, vacated the library soon after. The cookie I got was delicious.

.

I did tell my Aunt Riza about the latest altercation, namely because I couldn't complain to my actual friends. I also hated dragging Dad into it all the time. Still, I knew it would get back to him even as I spent time with my pseudo-mom-that-I-wished-was-really-my-mom. Many hyphens aside, I showed her my translations of Xingese poetry on another paper, leaving the scrolls undisturbed. "What is bubble snow?" she asked with a laugh, getting to that part. "And three thousand worlds? What an odd concept."

"I double checked it," I shrugged. "I don't know what it means, but it is pretty interesting, isn't it?" She nodded, turning the paper over to me again. "I don't know what to do, Aunt Riza," I sighed. "I am almost to the point I hate going to school. No one there is my friend, I'm younger than all my classmates, I'm a year higher for all those that are my age, and the only people I enjoy spending time with anymore are either over the age of twenty or is more often than not running around the country." She looked at me soberly before drawing me into a hug.

"Your father is afraid you'll decide to go adventuring with the Elrics," she admitted gently. "And he gets enough tales back that he knows they are good at finding trouble." I looked at her in surprise. "He's trying to protect you."

Knowing that my father was the best example of a father between myself, my two male friends, and even what I'd heard from some of my Uncles and Aunts… Yes, some of them had good parents, but Aunt Riza had herself admitted her father wasn't much of a comfort and her mother had died when she was pretty young. Uncle Kain didn't even have a dad for most of his formative years, dying young in an earthmover accident when the walls of the hole he'd been working in had collapsed on him. It had forced Uncle Kain to become the 'man' of the family, going to work to help his mother make ends meet. Uncle Vato didn't even have himself as a good representation simply because he'd been forcibly excluded from his children's lives by his ex-wife. Everyone else had fairly decent parents, of course. They all agreed, though, that Dad was, while not perfect, a good dad.

"That doesn't change the fact I am coming to abhor going to that… that place," I snorted.

"Good word usage, but I don't think your father feels that way." I sighed and was soon released from my hug. I hadn't told anyone about how the Ishvalan had stolen money from me, or how I'd given it to him after he'd been caught, but it came to my mind again. Here I was, put out about being forced to go to school. What did he have growing up? Learning in some alleyway with his family? Did he even have family?

"I know," I grumbled. "But… It's not like I'd have to go off with them."

"And what would you do if you didn't go to school if you didn't go with them?" she questioned. I didn't have an answer for that.

"I don't know. Study more alchemy?"

"The world doesn't revolve around alchemy, Dawn, despite what you and the Elrics may think." I blinked.

"Dad isn't included in that list?" I wondered. Her eyes sparkled with humor.

"No," she laughed. "He's got to think about politics and paperwork." I snickered.

"Sounds exhilarating."

"Oh, it is. You should see me harassing him all day over the piles of papers on his desk. He never seems to get ahead, even if only in actuality and not in show," she complained lightly. "But, speaking of alchemy, how does the research go?"

"For?"

"Helping the boys. I know you're doing so." I hummed.

"Well, the books haven't come in yet. That's supposed to be two weeks from now. And we think there will be a lot of information in them. Even if it's only basic information at first. We hope that there's a way to ease off the amount of payment they have to make. They're talking about this thing called a Philosopher's Stone, but… I don't think that would be the right way to go."

"Why not?" she asked.

"Aunt Riza, when someone says something is 'free', I start looking for the hidden costs. What would using a Stone cost to use?"

-/-/-/-

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