NOTE: This doesn't take place in the SU/Marvel universe I was planning. (which I really need to get back to at some point) This is just gonna be a short series (likely no more than four chapters, but that could change) that will stand on its own.

When Rubies Attack!

Chapter 1

It didn't take too long for Navy to retrieve her fellow Rubies once she tricked Steven, Lapis and Peridot into getting her their ship back. After dropping the three of them into the ocean, she instantly got to work searching across the Solar System for her four comrades. A task that only took her a few days since the other Rubies stayed relatively close to one another. Once they were back onboard, they were greeted by a Navy who still could not stop laughing over how she deceived her enemies...something that the four of them, particularly Doc, Eyeball and Army got really sick of really fast.

"You should have seen the look on their faces while they were hanging off the hatch!" she said before bursting into yet another fit of delightful laughter.

"We know we should have, Ruby," Eyeball practically snarled. "Just like the last FIVE TIMES YOU TOLD US!"

"Look, can we just focus on getting back to Homeworld already?" Doc asked as she sat on the captain's chair and manned the controls. "Yellow Diamond will want to hear about all of this."

However, the second she pressed the button to activate the gravity engine, all that happened was a sputtering sound was heard and the ship did not move so much as a centimeter, much to Doc's irritation.

"Now what!?" she exclaimed as she turned to Eyeball for answers, who instantly checked the status on the engine.

"It looks like the gravity engine's completely fried," she reported. "And we're running low on fuel. This ship's definitely not gonna make it to Homeworld."

Knowing that the Crystal Gems had to have been responsible, that and the stacking stress of all of the setbacks to their mission, Doc couldn't help but angrily pull her hair and grit her teeth before getting up and kicking the control console, only to then yelp in pain and grab her toe while hopping on her other foot.

"Well, we do have enough fuel to make it back to Earth," Army suggested, catching her leader's attention. "I say we go back and knock some human heads for materials to repair our ship!"

"Go back to Earth?" Leggy nervously asked.

"Would their materials even work?" Eyeball asked. "They're so primitive."

"Well, it's the only shot we got," Doc answered. "Set a course back to Earth!"

With that, the ship turned around and headed back to the planet they and the rest of Homeworld despised so much.

"Booyah!" the Thing proudly exclaimed as he showed his hand to the others, much to their irritation. "Full house!"

Inside the mansion that was the base of operations for Earth's mightiest heroes, the Avengers, five of the group known as the New Avengers were currently in the midst of a night of playing poker. These heroes were known as Spider-Man, Wolverine, the Thing, Falcon and Scott Lang, the second Ant-Man. The five of them were called by the Avengers to watch over the mansion while they and the rest of the Fantastic Four investigated a possible sighting of a Kree fleet just outside of the Solar System.

Seeing as though it was a particularly quiet night in terms of crime in New York City, the five of them decided to pass the time by playing some cards...something that Falcon instantly regretted as he kept losing money.

"I swear, I keep getting the worst possible hands on purpose," he groaned as Ben pulled the pot towards him.

"Oh, quit your crying, bub," Wolverine responded as he continued to smoke his cigar.

"At least Bruce isn't here to wreck the place every time Ben has a better hand than him," Scott added before tossing his ante into the pot and shuffling the cards.

"Tell me about it," Spider-Man responded as he, Logan and Sam tossed in their antes.

"Alright, the game's Texas Hold 'Em," Scott said once he was done shuffling the cards.

"So, what have you guys been up to?" Peter asked while Scott dealt each of the heroes two cards. "It's been a while since we've seen each other."

"Eh, the usual," the Thing answered as he looked at his cards. "The FF and I've just been trashin' a buncha Doombots trying to break into the Baxter Building. Check."

"That's cute," Logan dryly remarked. "Try having ten story tall robots walking up to your doorstep every other Tuesday."

"I take it Trask hasn't given up yet?" Falcon asked.

"It'll be a cold day in Hell if he ever did," Wolverine answered before tapping the table twice to signal that he was checking.

"Pass," Peter said.

"Same here," Sam replied.

"Check," Scott responded before placing the top card aside and putting down the next three for the flop, which were two tens and a queen.

"Well, got a ten, ya gonna win," Ben stated. "Your deal, Logan."

"Check," Wolverine replied.

"Check," Spider-Man repeated.

"Well, guess I'll have to get things started then," Falcon responded as he tossed a couple of chips into the pot with a smug smile on his face, something that caused the others to groan in irritation.

"He's got a damn ten," Wolverine grumbled.

"I'll call," Scott said, tossing some of his own chips in.

"Me too," Ben responded as he did the same.

"Not me," Logan said as he tossed his cards away.

"You and me both, Wolvie," Peter replied as he tossed his away as well.

"Alright, here comes the next card," Ant-Man said as he burned another card and placed the next one besides the three on the table: a seven.

"What about you, web head?" Ben asked Peter as Sam tossed a few more chips into the pot. "What's everybody's favorite wall crawler been up to these days?"

"Call," Scott said.

"Ah, same old, same old," Spider-Man answered. "Stopped a couple of muggings, stopped Shocker from robbing a bank, Jameson somehow blames me for it, just the usual."

"You're still working for that nutcase?" Falcon asked.

"Eh, it pays well and MJ and I need the money," Peter answered.

"I'm in," Ben said, tossing some of his chips in before turning back to Peter. "How is the lucky gal?"

"Oh, she's doing good," Peter answered. "She's been offered a model shoot in Paris. We leave next week. Think you guys can take care of things while I'm gone?"

"Hey, we ain't New Avengers for nothing," Ben answered proudly.

Scott then proceeded to burn another card and place the final card next to the others: another ten.

"Got a ten, ya definitely gonna win!" the Thing chuckled. "Your bet, Scott."

"Sure, I'll go for it," Ant-Man replied as he tossed some of his chips into the pot.

"Call," Ben responded.

"Raise," Sam suddenly said, catching everyone's attention as he tossed even more chips into the pot.

"Well, I'll raise you back," Scott said with a smirk, causing Ben to groan.

"You two are on your own," he said as he tossed his cards aside. "Fold."

"Raise you again, Tic Tac," Sam said.

"Okay then, bird-brain, call," Scott responded. "Whadya got?"

"Read 'em and weep," Falcon answered as he revealed his hand: a six and a queen, giving him a full house. "Think I'm finally making a comeback."

He then reached his hands to the pot when Scott suddenly placed his left hand in front of them.

"Oh, is that so?" Scott smugly asked as he revealed his hand: a two...and the last ten, causing Sam's jaw to drop in disbelief.

"Son of a-!" Falcon exclaimed as he tossed his cards upward and Peter, Ben and Scott started to burst out laughing.

"Sam, this just isn't your night!" Spider-Man said as Scott collected his winnings.

"Luck of a corpse today, huh, Tweety?" Ben remarked.

"Shut up and shake the damn cards, Pebbles," Sam responded as he handed Ben the deck.

"Okay, the game's Five Card Draw," Ben said as he started to shuffle.

He then started to deal himself and the other four heroes their cards, not knowing who was setting their sights on the mansion.

Back up above the atmosphere, the Rubies were currently busy scanning the planet for usable technology to fix the engines, only so far to turn up empty.

"Oh, this is hopeless!" Eyeball shouted. "I knew this was gonna be a waste of time! There's nothing on this stupid rock that's gonna help us!"

"Quiet, Ruby!" Army shouted back as she manned the controls. "I'm trying to concentrate on-"

She then suddenly stopped when the scanners finally picked something up.

"I've got something!" Army said, causing her fellow Rubies to quickly run up to the screen, displaying Avengers Mansion.

"Oh, what a lovely little house," Navy said with delight.

"With technology that may be able to fix the engines!" Doc added. "Rubies, let's go!"

She proceeded to instantly fly the ship towards the Big Apple, the five of them all intent on raiding the mansion for the materials that may be able to repair their ship and allow them to go back to Homeworld.

During this time, the five heroes had discarded the cards they chose and were in deep concentration when Peter's eyes suddenly widened behind his mask, his Spider Sense going off in his head.

"Guys, I think-" he was about to say when a loud crash was heard from outside the mansion, the table shaking slightly and nearly causing the five of them to fall out of their chairs.

"What was that!?" Scott asked.

"I don't know, but it sounded like it came from the back," Spider-Man answered. "We better go check it out."

"Oh, come on!" Sam exclaimed. "Right when I had four aces!?"

Almost instantly did Falcon realize what he had just blurted out, though it was still too late to do anything about it.

"Fold," the other four said in unison as they tossed their hands away.

"DAMN IT!" Sam shouted.

The five of them quickly readied themselves and ran out to the backyard of Avengers Mansion, Spider-Man with his hands in a webbing position, the Thing with his fists at the ready, Wolverine with his claws out, Falcon with his wings expanded and Ant-Man with his Pym Particle gun aimed at the dust cloud in front of them. Once the dust faded, it revealed a scarlet ship that was the shape of an upside down teardrop and a yellow, triangular window at the front.

"Be ready for anything, guys," Peter said when they suddenly heard the sound of something opening from behind the vessel.

"Rubies, assemble!" a voice commanded as the five Rubies suddenly ran around the ship and right in front of the New Avengers, to which the heroes could only look at the tiny Homeworld Gems in pure confusion.

"You have GOT to be kidding me," was all Wolverine said.

DISCLAIMER: Steven Universe is owned by Cartoon Network and the heroes used here are owned by Marvel.