[ Into each life some rain must fall. ]
-Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
"A double whiskey please."
The bartender nodded, pulling out a bottle of Jameson and pouring it into a glass, handing it across the bar. Lucy sighed, looking down into the glass with a sort of resentment before knocking it back in one swing. It had been a long week with her midterms and assignments all shoved together forming her own personal hell.
She ordered another.
She was tired. She was so tired, and she just wanted to drink and have a well-deserved break. It was a Friday night, and she didn't have anything due again for a while so she told herself why the fuck not.
Though, she supposed, getting wasted at 8pm alone probably wasn't the best decision she made in a while. But she didn't have anything else to do (except study and catch up on some work, but who's counting), and her friends all decided to go home for the weekend, so here she was. It's not like she minded the alone time though; the bar was really relaxing at this time with only a few people around, and the music was pretty calming.
In any case, at least she would get a good night's sleep for once.
"What's a pretty lady like yourself doing all alone at a bar on a Friday night?" Turning towards the voice, Lucy fought down the urge to visibly shudder. An older man- probably in his 60's- sat beside her, leering down at her.
Forcing a small smile onto her face, she politely lied, "oh I'm not alone, just waiting on my boyfriend. He should be getting here any minute." Lucy turned her back on the man and turned towards the bartender, ordering another drink.
She was definitely going to have a headache in the morning.
"Well that's awfully rude, making his little miss wait so long." The sickly voice drawled, slurring on his words and making Lucy twitch. She thought she had dealt with the situation.
She just wanted to be left alone.
"I came early, he isn't late. Totally my fault." She avoided looking at the man, trying to give him the hint to leave her alone.
She heard a chair scrape against the floor, and glanced over to see him moving closer. She internally groaned, not in the mood to deal with this at all.
Just as he was about to say something else- probably something sexist and degrading- she felt an arm slip around her shoulders, a voice whispering in her ear.
"Just go with it."
Startled and confused, Lucy glanced to the side to see a man with pink hair and a large grin plastered on his face, hand giving her shoulder a squeeze.
"Hey babe, sorry I'm late. Got caught up with some work."
Lucy saw the old man get up and move, probably to find some other poor young girl to creep out. The pink haired man moved his arm away taking the seat next to her, looking sheepish.
"Sorry for just springing up out of nowhere, just looked like you were really uncomfortable so I thought I'd try to help." His cheeks were a bit rosy, from embarrassment or alcohol Lucy didn't know. He scratched the back of his neck, almost absentmindedly as he ordered a drink.
"What's your name?" she blurted out, face heating up after realizing she had been staring.
Whiskey was not her friend in that moment.
Looking surprised, the man quickly regained composure and offered her a large grin. "Names Natsu, nice to meet ya!" He threw out his hand, which Lucy took without a second thought.
"I'm Lucy. Nice to meet you too." She supposed she should have been a bit more skeptical of the guy, but he seemed familiar- though she could place how- and he was, simply put, very attractive.
"I know." Eyes going wide, Natsu started to fumble his way through his slip up. "I mean, you go to Magnolia University, and, well I'm not a stalker or anything, I know that's what it sounds like but ah, we're in the same economics class and, ah shit this is weird, but you know my roommate Gray and-"
Lucy couldn't help it; she burst out laughing. This was honestly one of the cutest things she's seen in awhile. At least she knew now why he seemed familiar. "Oh! You're Gray's friend who sets things on fire all the time! He's told me about you." Apparently he even caught himself on fire once. Lucy remembered wondering why Gray would live with someone who could potentially set their whole apartment on fire, but to each his own.
Natsu's face seemed to heat up even more at the fact that she knew about his pyro-like habits, and she suddenly felt bad. "But he's also said you're a great guy and a decent roommate, besides the fact."
That seemed to ease him up, as he suddenly sat up straighter and a smirk appeared on his lips. "Ice princess said that? I'll have to keep that in mind." He leaned forward slightly on the arm he had resting on the bar, "got any other ammunition I can use against him?"
Lucy rolled her eyes, taking a sip from her drink. She briefly wondered when it had gotten half empty. "I'm not helping you out in whatever weird competition you two have."
He downed the rest of his drink, quickly ordering another. "How do you know him again anyways?"
"My mother and his father went to school together and were good friends, so we used to visit each other a lot as kids." Lucy smiled fondly while thinking of her raven-haired friend. She can't even remember a time when he hadn't been there, he just always was. "He's like my brother honestly."
Natsu's brows squeezed together in confusion for the briefest of moments, but Lucy saw it. Her mind was in too much in a haze, however, to figure out what was confusing. She should probably slow down on the whiskey, but she was having fun, and she wasn't quite drunk yet.
"Weird to think Fullbuster has someone like you for a good friend." Natsu teased, ordering them both another round.
Rolling her eyes, Lucy took a small sip from her drink, thanking her newfound friend. At least, she hoped that they could become friends. He seemed like a fun person, and Lucy needed some more fun in her life.
And wanting to be his friend had nothing to do with the fact that she was on the verge of being very drunk and thinking he was insanely attractive.
"So what's your major?" Jolted from her thoughts, Lucy twirled the straw in her drink, smiling at Natsu before taking another drink.
"I'm majoring in business admin, with a minor in English."
"So pretty much a million projects and papers with some tests thrown in?"
Lucy hummed in agreement, not wanting to think about that. "What about you? Business as well?"
Suddenly her drink was gone, and not thinking much of it, bought them the next round.
"Nope, I'm minoring in it though. I'm majoring in chemistry." He grinned at her again, this time his eyes lighting up knowingly. "Did you just finish up midterms and projects too?"
Sighing, Lucy nodded and downed the rest of her drink. She came here to forget, and forget she would.
Another double it was.
"I actually just had my last midterm today, economics." Economics. That was- "Oh! Right, I guess you would've had it too!" Lucy almost slapped herself on her forehead, berating herself for forgetting that he mentioned they were in the same class so quickly. She wondered how she never noticed him before either; you'd think someone with pink hair would stand out in her memory. Maybe he sat in the back whereas she sat in the front, or maybe he skipped class a lot.
That seemed like the most logical reason. Economics was painfully boring.
He chuckled, a deep sound that was making Lucy's mind wander to a place that she quickly drew herself out of. "Yeah, that was something. Not sure if I passed, but it's done and over with and now I have whiskey and a pretty girl to take my mind off of it." He finished his drink and suddenly Lucy wondered how many they've had, but then decided that she didn't really care all too much.
And then it clicked in her mind just what Natsu had said and she felt a heat rise in her face, and was so thankful that the bar was dark and it wouldn't be that noticeable.
Before she could make a witty retort however, she felt her phone go off in her pocket, and she decided that it was a perfect out at the moment so she wouldn't make a fool of herself.
"Fuck," she mumbled, only managing to unlock her phone after the fourth attempt. Maybe she's more drunk than she thought. She heard a snigger, and looked up to see Natsu looking much too interested in the menu board but she could see how his lips were turned up slightly in the corner, attempting to fight off a smile.
So much for not making a fool of herself.
Scowling, she opened the text message to see that it was from her father, and promptly locked her phone without reading it. There was no way she was going to deal with him tonight, knowing he would be wondering about school and her marks and her life in general, and quite frankly, if she were to answer him right now there would be a lot of swearing involved.
Lucy huffed, mood slowly starting to deteriorate as her thoughts drifted to her father.
She was definitely not drunk enough, she decided.
She quickly downed a few shots, earning a concerned look from Natsu as he got one for himself. "Everything okay?" he asked, placing a hand on her knee in a comforting gesture. Lucy ran a hand through her hair, taking a shaky breath before giving him a smile.
"Honestly?" she asked. Maybe, Lucy thought, it would be good to talk about it for once. Levy was understanding when Lucy told her about her father and her childhood, but they only ever talked about it the one time after Levy found Lucy crying on the bathroom floor.
"Honestly." he repeated, giving her knee a squeeze.
Lucy licked her lips, trying to figure out where to start. Her mind was all jumbled, and she had a heavy feeling in her chest and throat that she knew all too well. "Well, know how I said my mom and Gray's dad were friends, and that's how we know each other?"
Natsu nodded, the confused look from before came back for a moment before it was gone again, just as quick. "Well, you probably know this, but Gray's dad died when he was younger, around 10." Again, Natsu nodded, not saying a word, which Lucy found she really appreciated.
Taking a deep breath, Lucy steadied herself by placing her hand on top of his, his fingers twitching just the slightest. "My mom died around the same time. Well no, it was the same time. The were on their way to their high school reunion together. Carpooling." Lucy stopping, incapable of continuing her story. She thought she might burst at any moment, eyes beginning to water.
"I know." He said softly, shifting his chair closer to hers, an unsaid apology in his words. He moved his hand from her knee to her back, rubbing it in slow circles. This time it was her who placed her hand on his knee, taking a few deep breaths before calming down. The weight was still there; pushing against her chest, but not as noticeable. Lucy couldn't help but be surprised that it started to settle so quickly.
Regaining her composure, Lucy sat up a bit straighter and looked up at him, eyes distracting her for a moment as she stared into them. But she continued on, keeping her hand on his knee and his arm around her.
"After the accident, my father changed. He became distant and uncaring, focusing all of his energy into the family business. I was pretty much raised by maid- which I'm thankful for," she scoffed. "They were more loving to me than he ever was. But then I wanted to go to University, and well, he actually approved."
Sighing, she reached for her glass, taking a big drink. "Well, he approved until I told him I wanted to major in English. That I wanted to be a writer. That was when he had a problem."
Natsu continued to rub circles on her back, silently telling her to take her time, that he was in no rush.
"And so, after a lot of arguing, it ended up being decided that I could go to University, but only if I majored in business. But, I was allowed to minor in English." she finished with a frown on her face- and a few shots- letting him digest the information. Of course there was a lot more to it than that, but talking was becoming increasingly more difficult, so she figured that was enough.
She glanced over, scared to see what he thought of her now. He was biting his lip as he stared down at his drink. Lucy started to get nervous with him not saying anything, her leg started to bounce out of habit.
He finally looked up at her, a questioning look on his face. "Why can't you just switch over to English? You're already minoring in it. Maybe you could minor in business. It's your life."
Lucy had thought about doing just that. Because Natsu had a point; it was her life. She should be able to do as she pleased, and get the education she wanted.
The only problem was her father paid for her tuition and living expenses, and she told Natsu as much.
"And he never let me get a job when I was living at home, so I have no savings. I've already applied for a few jobs to start saving up. But I can't even get a good student loan because of him." She frowned, cutting herself off before she started ranting to Natsu, who probably didn't want to listen to her complain about her problems.
Natsu licked his lips after downing his drink, drawing her eyes, and he gave her a toothy grin. "Y'know, that's pretty cool."
"Cool?" she quirked an eyebrow, flicking her hair over her shoulder.
"Yep. Cool. You're breakin' away from something that makes you unhappy, doing what you need to do. That's pretty cool if ya ask me."
She laughed lightly, wondering how he could so easily make light of something that's been weighing on her. "Well ya know what Natsu?" her hand moved a bit further up on his leg as she leaned in closer, giving him a genuine smile that reached her eyes. She leaned in until her lips were against his ear, feeling him tense up the slightest before whispering, "I think you're pretty cool for a pyro."
She leaned back, laughing at his incredulous expression. She couldn't help herself, it was too good of an opportunity to pass up. He just shook his head, smile lighting up his face in amusement. "And I think you're pretty beautiful." he muttered softly, but loud enough for her to hear over the music. Eyes widening, Lucy stared at Natsu, mouth turning up into a soft smile as she gazed at him. She usually would've blushed and became embarrassed at such a comment, but for some reason she was able to push through the embarrassment and take it with stride.
It must be the whiskey, she thought.
All of a sudden the music changed to more upbeat song, more people heading out onto the dance floor. It must've gotten late, as the music didn't normally change until 10 or 11. For a fleeting second she couldn't believe they'd been sitting and talking for so long, but she didn't really care.
Without a second thought, Lucy quickly downed one last whiskey before jumping to her feet (a relatively bad decision with the amount of alcohol in her system) and grabbed Natsu by the hand without a word, dragging him to the dance floor. He didn't seem to mind though, stumbling his way after her with his face flushed and graced with a smile.
They started off slow, getting a feel for the music as they swayed from side to side. Natsu grabbed her hands, twirling her around before bringing her back into him with a grin. Smiling back at him, she reluctantly twirled out of his hold, but moved his hands to her waist. Her eyes were lit up with slight mischief beneath her drunken haze. She brought her arms up to his neck and stared him in the eyes as he smirked at her boldness. She was lost in the music and in the whiskey, not thinking about how she would never do something like this sober. She was having fun- after all, that was what she came to do.
His grip tightened on her waist, pulling her closer to him as they danced. He leaned his forehead closer to hers, almost touching, but never going any closer. Her eyelids felt heavy, threatening to close but she's also never felt more awake. They locked eyes, too many emotions running through them and Lucy didn't think she would've been able to tell what he was feeling even if she were sober. She let out a long breath, bringing her forehead to rest against his as they moved against each other, dancing to the beat. Her hands dropped down to his arms, grip loose as she moved, feeling lighthearted and happy.
His forehead drops from hers, moving to the side, lips ghosting her neck and Lucy closed her eyes because she wants him but she knows she's drunk and that's a bad idea but she can't help the shaky breath that escapes her. His hands move lower, pulling her even closer until they were pressed against one another, not a space between them. His breath tickles her neck as he exhales, a shiver running down her spine.
The music had become a background noise, moving to beats she barely registered as she lost herself in him. She ran her hands up to his shoulders, then back to his neck in a slow motion, drawing his head back up, locking eyes once again. He was easier to read this time, and she knew he wanted her just as much, if not more. His eyes darted down to her lips, resting there for a second before looking back up at her.
She bit her lip as a she looked at him, desperately wanting to press her lips against his and to stop thinking for once, but she couldn't.
But holy fuck did she want to.
It was too bad that her mind decided to start working again.
The pain in her chest came back, and she felt it slowly build up as she tried to ignore it. Deciding that life was incredibly unfair at that moment, she pulled away from Natsu and gave him an apologetic look as she turned and headed towards the exit.
She had to get out of there.
She needed air.
She needed to breathe.
She leaned against the railing on the porch outside the bar, closing her eyes for a moment as she breathed deep, in and out, trying to calm down. Her breathing was shaky and she felt a tear roll down her cheek as she cursed every god she could think of for letting her feel like this.
She wiped her hair out of her face and tried to dry her wet cheeks with shaky hands. She looked around for a cab hoping she wouldn't have to call one, but resigned herself to the fact that she would most likely have to.
She suddenly felt a warm pressure on her and saw Natsu out of the corner of her eye, staring at her with concern as he rubbed circles on her back. She cursed, not wanting him to see her like this. She didn't want anyone to see her like this.
"Do you want me to get you a ride home?" Natsu questioned, unsure of his own words.
Lucy smiled, but it wasn't real and she knew Natsu could tell from the look on his face, making her heart sink. Nodding, Lucy couldn't hold it back anymore and the tears streamed down her face, chest heaving as she sobbed as Natsu gently led her towards a less crowded area, pulling out his phone as he went. He pulled her into him, wrapping his arm around her as she cried and pulled at her hair in frustration, angry at herself for letting this happen. She heard him talking, but couldn't make out what he was saying. He shoved his phone back in his pocket and brought his other arm around her, not saying anything.
"I'm sorry," she finally choked out after a few minutes, having calmed down the slightest bit. She stayed in his arms, feeling secure and warm as she dealt with the aftershock of it all. Her chest still ached and she found it hard to swallow. But she knew it was almost over, and she was glad for that.
"Don't apologize, it's fine. I think you deserved to let some of that stress out. Your life isn't exactly easy." His hand moved up to stroke her hair, her face in the crook of his neck. She didn't know how to respond to that. Most people would just tell her that it would all be okay and that she just needed to get more fresh air. So for someone to tell her that it was okay was overwhelming- in a good way.
She just nodded her head, muttering a small 'okay' and moved her arms around him as they waited for her cab. He started to hum, the sound drowned out from the music playing from inside the bar, but she appreciated the gentle vibrations she felt coming from his chest.
"Lucy?"
She must have imagined that voice, because she could've sworn that that was Gray, but Gray didn't drink.
But then Natsu unravelled his arms from her, and she turned to see that in fact she wasn't imagining things and Gray was standing there, his jeep parked on the side of the road in front of them.
Blinking, Lucy stood up and looked at Natsu with a confused look on her face, but before she could ask him what was happening Gray had engulfed her in a tight hug, releasing a deep, relieved breath. "I'm glad you're okay." Recovering from shock, Lucy reciprocated the hug, breathing in his familiar smell, almost making her want to cry again from relief.
"It's not fair Gray." She muttered, clutching onto him desperately in an attempt to keep her composure.
"I know." He soothed, then released her and gave her an understanding look, "what do you say? Stay at my place for the night?" Closing her eyes in relief, Lucy nodded before opening them again and giving him a smile. She didn't want to spend the night alone, and she figured Gray was thinking the same thing. "Alright, let's go." He grabbed her hand and opened the front door of his jeep for her before getting into the driver side. Natsu got in behind Gray and Lucy gave him a smile in the mirror, to which he returned with a large grin, eyes squinting slightly.
Her heart fluttered, smile turning soft and small as she looked out her window, eyelids heavy, as they drove to Gray and Natsu's apartment.
She missed the knowing look on Gray's face as he looked at her.
Her head was pounding, mouth craving water.
Groaning, Lucy rolled over to the edge of Gray's bed and sat up, staring at the wall for a few minutes before checking the time on her phone.
9:16 AM.
Licking her dry and bleeding lips, she got up and went to the kitchen for a glass of water and an Advil. She saw that she still had an unread message from her father and she knew she'd have to open it eventually, but that didn't make it any easier.
Passing by a sleeping Gray on her way to the kitchen she smiled fondly at him, thankful for having him in her life. He had giving her a sweatshirt and pair of shorts to sleep in, helping her to bed before going to talk to Natsu, a conversation she remembered all too clearly.
"What the hell happened you prick?" she heard Gray whisper-shout, with the sounds of cupboards opening and closing.
It was quiet for a few moments, and Lucy wondered if the response was whispered quietly enough for her not to hear. She felt bad for leaving Natsu to defend himself when he hadn't done anything wrong, but she was too tired and comfy- and drunk- to get up to help him.
"I told you on the phone." Natsu calmly stated, a bit of anger in his voice, though she didn't know what he was angry at.
For a fleeting moment the thought crossed her mind that he was angry at her, because she ruined his night.
"We were dancing, having a good time, and then she just took off and I thought something might be wrong since she was having a rough night and went to find her outside looking like she might pass out or somethin'."
There was a weird thumping sound, and Lucy assumed that was the couch turning into a bed.
"What do you mean she was having a rough night?" Gray sounded defeated, as if he knew exactly what was causing Lucy trouble. And he was probably right.
"Regular stuff, school and shit. Then there was this thing about her dad." The anger seemed more prominent in his voice when he mentioned her father, making Lucy realize that no, he wasn't mad at her. He was mad at her situation.
Gray swore, "she told you about that then?"
Of course she did, she was drunk. Gray should know better by now.
"Yeah." Natsu paused, seemingly debating on whether or not to continue. "Does…does this happen often?"
Lucy shrunk in her covers at the question, closing her eyes as she let sleep take over her body.
She didn't want to hear the answer.
Shaking her head, she continued on to the kitchen, opening random cupboards until she found the one with the cups, grabbing two and filling them up with water. Strangely enough, she had never been to Gray's apartment except for when he moved in, and Natsu hadn't been there at the time so she never met him.
Making her way to what she assumed was the other bedroom in the apartment, Lucy bit her lip and wondered if she should just go back to bed and leave him be.
Taking a deep breath and deciding to say fuck it, Lucy knocked on the door.
She half hoped he wouldn't hear the knock so she wouldn't embarrass herself, but also hoped that he would and she could talk to him. She felt she owed him a proper explanation instead of whatever Gray told him, though she also knew Gray would've done a decent job.
She tensed up as she heard footsteps, and then suddenly the door opened and there stood Natsu,wearing only boxers.
Face heating up, she quickly looked away from his exposed chest and saw a blue ball of fur curl around his legs before leaving the room and trotting to the living room.
"Lucy?" He grumbled, voice low as he rubbed his eyes with one hand.
"Uh, hi." She awkwardly greeted, holding up one of the glasses for him. "I thought you might be thirsty. Sorry for waking you up."
He smiled at her, taking the glass from her hand. "How are you?" He asked, almost downing the glass in one gulp. Lucy's mouth twitched in amusement, taking a generous sip from her own.
"Much better, thanks." And she was. She still wasn't completely fine of course, and she doubted she ever would be, but she was okay. And that was what mattered. "I was actually wondering if I could, well, talk?"
Tugging at the sleeves of the sweatshirt, she made eye contact with him, seeing an understanding in his eyes that made her feel slight relief.
"Yeah, 'course. Come on in." He moved aside, giving her room to enter as she took in his slightly messy room, bed in the center with clothes strewn about. Overall though his room was typical, posters scattered on the wall for different bands and movies, with a desk against the wall filled with books.
Natsu shut the door as she sat down on the edge of his bed, sitting beside her.
Tucking some hair behind her ear, Lucy shifted so she was sitting on one leg, the other dangling off the bed so she could face him. "First off, I am sorry for crying all over you last night and for unloading my problems on you. You didn't deserve that- we barely know each other." Natsu looked like he wanted to object, she she continued on before he could say anything. "I, however, am not sorry that it happened. Because I know that I can't help it, that it's something that I have to live with. And letting it out is better than keeping it in."
He seemed to be okay with that for the most part, nodding for her to continue. "It's, well, I get panic attacks. Sometimes they have an obvious reason, like last night it was school and my father, but sometimes they aren't so obvious." She chuckled bitterly, fighting off the tears as she talked about it. "I still don't know why I've had certain panic attacks. It's frustrating." Sighing, she ran a hand through her hair. "I'm rambling. Anyways, my point is I didn't mean for that to happen and I wish it didn't but it did and now I have to live with that. I just hope that you won't hold it against me."
Natsu stared at her for a few seconds, crossing his arms as he studied her. "Lucy," he started, grabbing her hands off the bed. "I would never hold that against someone, 'specially not you. I know we just met so this is a bit weird, but I've noticed you for a while now." His cheeks lit up in a blush and Lucy found that adorable, and also very sweet that he took notice to her. "I mean, I've been in a few classes with you, plus with what Gray's told me and everything. So I feel like I kinda know you." His grip tightened slightly on her hands.
"You should never have to apologize to me for this. Cry on me all you want, rant to me, whatever you need. I'll be here."
Lucy let the tears fall as she couldn't hold it in anymore, but this time for an entirely different reason.
It was from talking about her disorder, and the looming message from her father, but mostly, it was from relief.
And in that moment as Natsu wrapped his arms around her, she was so, so, happy.