I got the urge to write this. So I did. This will likely only be like 3 chapters long. So chill out, don't worry still working on Forgotten Snowflakes and Sex Games and Mind of an Ice Princess.

XxXxX

How I landed myself in this position I have no idea. I came here to make Orihime happy more than anything. I could actually feel the shame washing over me. We'd been married for about a year now and she was the one who wanted to wait until we were married before we had sex, only to find out that we couldn't or rather, that I couldn't.

Sometimes I'd manage to get it up for a little while then it would go back down, at the beginning of our marriage that's what had been happening. I'd get it up long enough to actually penetrate her but then it'd die instantly afterwards. I was young. I was only 28 it wasn't like I was an old man. I was putting it down to stage fright at first given the fact that Orihime was my first, I know what you're all thinking. How did I go for so long?

I'd never really found myself attracted to anyone, I was always far too busy for relationships and didn't have much of a libido. I guess I never really thought there was anything wrong with me. I was attracted to Orihime as far as women went she was one of the prettiest but mostly her constant pursuit to enter into a relationship with me just eventually wore me down. When she said no sex before marriage I was actually okay with that but who knew I couldn't have sex at all.

Now here I was sitting in my fathers clinic and waiting to be seen by his prodigy doctor. When I'd first wanted to go see a doctor I didn't want it to be my father, but given the fact I was off work with depression just now I couldn't afford to go to any other clinic. My father was going to treat me for free and offered to see me himself but I stated it would be too embarrassing and awkward. He only had two other doctors who worked at the 10th Division Clinic. Dr Matsumoto who was more specialised in women's issues, pregnancy and maternity and Dr Hitsugaya who was the young prodigy doctor set to take over my father's clinic when he retired.

At the request to see a male doctor it was Dr Hitsugaya I had been put down to see. I'd heard my father speaking about him a lot, he mentioned him all the time but I'd yet to actually meet the young genius despite having heard so much about him.

'Mr Kurosaki?' a voice called, the octave a lot higher than I expected as I turned around to look for the doctor.

My jaw dropped, metaphorically speaking of course. He was about an inch or two taller than my little sisters, with hair as white as fallen snow. Large teal eyes gazed at me through delicate rectangular glasses which sat perched on the tip of a tiny button nose. His lips looked small on his face, but plump, just not stretched into a smile. I quickly stood up and walked up to him, he didn't smile as he me but instead he took the clipboard from my hand that I had been filling out my details on. He turned and we walked down the hall. His lab coat billowed behind him and he moved quickly considering his size and how short his legs were. He led me into his office which smelt of medical supplies and antiseptic wipes as I sat down in the chair beside his desk. He was glancing over my details on the clipboard, as he sat down too, his massive eyes skimming the lines and the end of a pen gently touching his plump lower lip.

'Alright then Mr Kurosaki, Dr Kurosaki has informed me to carry out all necessary checks to help you today. So we don't have to worry about costs.' He placed the clipboard down on his desk along with the pen and turned and took his glasses off. His eyes were framed with lashes so thick and black they'd make any woman jealous. 'He didn't tell me what you wanted to see me about today.'

Oh god.

I didn't want to have this conversation with this beautiful man. I couldn't. But I knew if I didn't I'd be suffering the same problem without a real hope of resolution. He must have been watching me closely as I clasped and unclasped my hands on my lap, I could feel my face heating up and he took the awkward silence to pretty much guess.

'I know you requested a male doctor for this, so I am assuming it has something to do with a very personal matter. I am here to help but you need to talk to me.' His voice was cool and crisp and comforting. It was the kind of voice that would have no issue drawing out information from any of his clients. I took a deep sigh, I'd have to tell someone sometime and I couldn't wait around for an ugly middle aged man to poke and prod at me.

'It's… well. I've been married for nearly a year and I've been struggling to…' I didn't know how to put this into words. As if getting it from this short information alone though he continued for me when it was clear I was done.

'I see,' he turned around and typed something into his computer, 'there's nothing to be ashamed of Mr Kurosaki, erectile dysfunction is very common. A lot more common than the media would have you believe. On average I get about six or seven patients a week with the issue.'

This made me feel a little better but I still couldn't look at him. The shame was overwhelming. I didn't want this very attractive male doctor knowing I had issues getting it up. Why? I wasn't very sure.

'I need to ask you some questions of a very personal nature and I need you to be as honest as you can so we can figure out what the root cause of the issue is.' I nodded shyly at him but still couldn't make eye contact with him.

'Okay I need you to tell me if you can get hard at all?'

I groaned my embarrassment which just seemed to amuse him. When I flashed my eyes back to his I saw a smile tugging at his lips.

'At the beginning yes I could but now…'

'When was the last time you were able to reach full stiffness?'

How could he ask these questions so easily? What was wrong with him?

'Probably about seven months ago,' I ran a hand through my orange spikes.

'Alright,' his smile had fallen from his face and there seemed be a frown now. I clenched my jaw and decided to continue looking at him like a man. 'Is that around the same time you came down with depression?' he asked glancing back to look at my file.

'Yes,' I sighed, though I'd only been signed off work with depression recently it was all getting worse and worse.

'Okay Mr Kurosaki I know it's a sensitive topic but I need you to give me a bit more information on exactly when it happens and your sexual experiences,' he started, 'tell me when it started to get worse.'

'Like I said I could get hard at first but then, it would get soft sometimes when I was in the middle of sex.' I had to look away again and I glanced down at the corner of the desk instead. 'Then I started to get depressed about it, I'm young and I kept in shape and ate well. It shouldn't have been happening to me. It didn't make sense.' I crossed my arms across my chest. 'Then I started to look for excuses to not have sex. I literally feel like the one thing that's expected of me as a man is the one thing I cannot provide her.'

I couldn't believe I was saying all this but now that I'd started it seemed easier to keep going. He seemed to notice this too and instead scribbled notes on the paper on his desk as I spoke.

'I think the depression was brought on by the fact that I couldn't perform and then the depression just made it worse.' I sighed and ran a hand down my face. I was done talking about it.

'I see thank you,' he gave me an encouraging and gentle smile that made my throat clench. 'Have you been with any sexual partners before your marriage?'

'No, she's been the only one.'

He made another little note on his desk.

'Can you get an erection on your own or when you wake up in the morning?'

'No, I mean…' I tried to think back it was really hard to remember. 'I've not exactly tried any form of… masturbation.' Why was this so incredibly uncomfortable to talk about?

'I see and your sexual orientation is it just women?'

I had to wonder why this question was appropriate.

'Just women.'

He made another little note down on his paper.

'And you've not had an orgasm in how long?'

'Well, a long time, maybe around the time Orihime and I first got engaged, over a year ago?'

'I see,' he made another little note in his paper. 'And do you find any kind of arousal happening? Perhaps when you're watching someone on television or when you're walking down the street and see someone who looks physically pleasing?'

'No, not for a long time.'

'Alright,' he made another little note in his paper then pushed back from his desk to walk over to cupboard. He pulled out a machine that I knew took blood pressure readings and set it down on his desk. 'That's it for the personal questions I promise,' he gave me another charming smile and I felt my mouth go dry. 'I want to take some measurements to make sure you're healthy for your age and height just in case this is causing any issues. Can you stand up for me please?'

I got up obediently and he pointed to the wall where there was something to measure my height. I had to smile as he used the little step ladder beside it to stand on to actually get the reading as he brought the top of the metal plate down against my orange spikes. He had his notepad in his hand and scribbled something into it then got me to stand on the scales next. As we did all this his questions took a more appropriate route.

'How often do you exercise?'

'I used to exercise heavily at least three times a week but every day I'd go out for a thirty minute run at lunch time. Since coming off work three weeks ago though I've not exercised at all.'

'How is your diet?'

'I still eat well. Orihime isn't much of a cook so I do the cooking for us both.' I said and he seemed to be trying to lighten the mood with a bit of chat.

'That's good, I can't cook for myself at all,' he offered me another kind smile. It was clearly a doctor smile now that I looked close enough because not one single smile of his had actually reached his eyes. Now that I thought about it, they looked a little forced. I found myself wondering why?

'Can you lift your shirt up for me please, I'm going to check your heart and I want to take a waist measurement as well,' he popped his stethoscope into his ears as and I did as I was told lifting it up. He placed the cold metal against my skin and I squirmed away. He glanced at me apologetically and heated the base with his hand before reapplying it. It didn't really help much and I had to wonder just how cold his hands were.

'Heart rate is normal,' he said after a moment and pulled a measurement tape out. I stood and he wrapped it around my waist. I felt my entire body shiver as his fingers grazed my skin. His hands were cold but that wasn't why I shivered. His face had such an adorable look of concentration on it as he went about reading the measurement, it was clear he struggled with his sight a little as he squinted his eyes at the measuring tape.

'Your weight is a little under for your age and height,' he commented, 'but nothing that should be causing any major concerns.'

I really wanted to make a sexual joke but I figured it would be appropriate of me given what I'm here for.

'I want to test your blood pressure next,' he brought the machine out and I tried to roll the sleeve of my shirt up far enough to let him wrap it around the top of my arm. It was very clear with how tight the fabric was that it would be best just taking the damn thing off. Yet I suddenly felt very self-conscious, I didn't want him to think I was removing my shirt because I was coming onto him.

'I'm going to have to take it off,' I muttered after a moment of struggling with the sleeve,' he didn't really acknowledge me at all as he continued to glance back over his notes. He'd popped his glasses back on for it. I slowly started to unbutton the shirt and found myself actually clenching my muscles to make them look more impressive as I peeled the shirt off. Dr Hitsugaya turned around and seemed a bit surprised by my upper nudity.

'I-I just need your left arm,' he pointed to the one closest to his desk and I was sure a fine dusting of pink was now dancing across his cheeks. I felt a bit stupid at removing the full thing but it was off now, so there I sat as the machine did what it needed to do in order to take my blood pressure.

'"98 over 65",' Dr Hitsugaya said eventually, 'that's really good, very healthy.' He sat back on his seat, 'alright, so if it's alright with you I'd like to conduct a physical examination.'

'A… physical examination?'

And my face was turning red.

Not even like a cute little bit of pink. Like you know the colour of beetroot? That red that's so dark it's almost purple? That's exactly what my face was doing right now.

'If that's alright?' he had moved away and had collected his tiny step ladder to bring it over to his cupboards. He wasn't paying attention to my face at all as he climbed up on the step ladder to reach the cupboard directly above the sink. Why was he so fucking adorable? He pulled out a box of extra small latex gloves and put them on the counter, coming back down to open the drawer to the left of the sink. He pulled something out that I couldn't see and made his way over to the desk.

'I-' I gulped, 'O-okay.'

He was putting the extra small glove on his hand and they still looked too big for him as I stood up awkwardly. He used his right hand to close over a curtain around the bed.

'You can get changed behind there and when you're ready just sit on the clean towel on the bed.'

I did as I was told. I'd only just put my shirt back on and now I was expected to drop my pants. This sucked.

I took pretty much everything in my lower half off and sat on the paper towel. The shame was washing over me and I didn't want to call out to him that I was ready yet because I was just so mortified. There I sat with my ass pressed against the crinkly paper waiting.

'Are you ready?' he called after another minute and I shamefully bowed my head.

'Yes,' I muttered and he came inside the curtain. He didn't look at my nakedness right away and I assumed the curtain was being kept up in case anyone walked into his office. He came in closer now with gloves on both his hands and then looked at me. I felt shameful, such an overwhelming amount of shame.

Then his fingers were lightly taking me into his hands. Even through the thin latex gloves his hands were cold and his fingers were oh so gentle. That wasn't what I noticed though as he gently asked me to part my legs. He leaned in close feeling at the very base with his fingers pressing lightly and prodding. His face was close to me. Too close.

And all I could think about was him taking me into his mouth. That cute little innocent face, how it would look if his eyes were half lidded and his mouth open obediently waiting for me to explode all over his face.

Where the hell were these thoughts coming from? And yet… they were so arousing, so much so I…

'Well,' Dr Hitsugaya said after a second once the shame intensified. 'It seems we don't have an issue at the moment.'

'I'm so sorry,' I mumbled, the shame was clear in my voice as I literally started to go hard right in front of him.

'Nothing to be sorry for,' he stood up and looked almost relived. 'This is good news, it means there isn't a problem with the blood vessels. I was about to try an intracavernous injection which is meant to induce an erection to make sure you didn't need surgery.' He stepped back and I tried to cover myself as he glanced up at my eyes. At least he was going to force an erection on me one way or another so it was good news and at least I knew I could get hard. That had to be worth something right? So why was the feeling of shame still hanging over me?

'Alright just one last thing I want to check for,' he muttered, 'sometimes an enlarged prostate can cause issues.'

He wasn't being serious.

'How often do you urinate and is it a lot?'

'Yes, I drink a lot of water I have no issues with urination.'

Please don't stick your fingers up my ass.

'It's the right colour too I check all that stuff,' I continued.

Your delicate, beautiful and skilled little fingers don't belong up there.

'Alright, well while we're here I'd be as well double checking if you're okay with it? Just turn around and place your hands on the bed.'

Oh god.

This.
Wasn't.

Happening.

I groaned but I slipped off the bed, my erection still partly there just to embarrass me further. I turned and took up the position he asked for and heard the pop of a tube. It better be lube.

It was, and it was cold as fuck. I clenched my ass the moment I felt his fingers press against my entrance.

'Ichigo I need you to relax.'

It was the first time he'd used my first name and I loved how it sounded on his lips, so delicate and commanding and sexy. I took a deep breath and willed my muscles to relax enough for him to slide his fingers deeper inside me. He took but a second and it was all I could do to not gasp out loud. The pleasure rippled up my entire spine and right back down to my balls.

'It feels fine,' he stated as he withdrew his fingers and I heard him removing the gloves. 'Alright then, you can get dressed and just come back out and take a seat when you're ready.'

He was gone behind the curtain again and I quickly got dressed. My erection was dying on me and it was a feeling I was familiar with. I moved and opened the curtain as I came out and took my seat once again not looking at him.

'Just one final test,' he punched some keys on his computer. The glasses were back on his face, 'I promise it isn't invasive like the others,' he said as he spotted the look of horror that must have made its way onto my face. 'Just a little blood sample that I need to send to a lab just to double check everything though I'm sure it will be fine.'

I felt the blood drain instantly from my face.

'If you assume it will be fine why do you need it?'

'It's a common test for this kind of issue,' he smiled and then his smile faltered and fell from his face. 'Ichigo?' The room was hot and I had to unbutton the top button of my shirt in order to breathe. He was by my side in an instant pressing a plastic cup of cold water into my hand. 'Ichigo are you feeling nauseas? Is there any dizziness?'

'Yes,' I mumbled. My entire head was spinning and I felt like I was going to pass out.

'Okay, do you feel sick?' he asked, as I took a sip of the water. The cool liquid could be felt all the way down my throat as I swallowed in contrast to how hot my body was. I shook my head.

'Do you think you can make it to the bed to lie down for a moment?' he asked gently and I nodded. He helped me to my feet and we made our way over to the bed where he took the cup of water off me and I lay down. My heart beat was in my ears and I could hear the rush of my own blood pounding against my eardrums.

'Are you scared of needles?' he guessed, 'or the sight of blood?'

'Needles,' I muttered, even just saying the word caused a fresh wave of cold sweat to break out over my body.

'Alright then see the picture above you?' he was referring to lovely picture of the Caribbean on the ceiling. 'I want you to picture yourself as if you were there just now,' as he said it I could feel him pulling my arm out. Oh god oh god oh god. 'And I want you to think about how the waves would sound gently lapping against the shore.' A wet wipe was pressed against the sensitive skin in the bend of my elbow. 'I want you to think about how the wind would sound in the trees.' I felt it… the needle piercing my skin.

And the world went black.

xXx

I found myself being gently woken. Dr Hitsugaya was standing over me and shining a light into my eyes. I felt a cold cloth being pressed against my head and he sighed with relief when I came too.

'Ichigo are you okay?'

What a pathetic excuse of a man I was.

'Yes,' I lied, as the black spots faded away out of sight.

'Alright, can you sit up?' he helped me into a sitting position where I reached out for my cup of water and slowly began to sip it again.

'Sorry,' I mumbled.

'Nothing to be sorry for,' he said for the second time that day. 'It's a common fear and it's over now. Are you still feeling dizzy?' he asked and I shook my head. It was all ebbing away now I knew it was all over. 'That's good.' I heard the relief in his voice and turned to watch him walking back over to his desk. He pulled open his rucksack that he'd obviously brought with him and I saw him pull out a bottle of juice. He walked back over and handed it to me.

'What's this?'

'It's called Lucozade, it's a glucose drink that is sold in pharmacies in the UK. It's got the perfect concentration of sugar to water to glucose and salt content that makes it perfect for an unsettled stomach. A few sips and you'll be feeling much better.'

'But…' I looked down at him because even though I was sitting up on the bed I was still taller than him. 'It's yours?'

'It's okay,' he smiled, 'I get them ported over, your father is thinking of stocking it in the clinic here soon anyway. I've got loads I won't notice one going missing.'

I opened the red bottle and took a sip. It tasted similar to other energy drinks but less sugary and he was right, it instantly made me feel better. My stomach settled within a few seconds of the first sip and so I took another of this amazing magical elixir. He smiled to me and I felt a cold fingertip brush my cheek.

'Your colours returning, good,' he nodded to himself, 'stand up when you're ready.' He walked back to the desk and I glanced around looking for my blood sample. He'd clearly put it out of sight along with the needles before I came too which I was thankful for. He sat back down at his desk, putting his glasses back on and started writing on a piece of paper.

I left him to it as I sat alone with my thoughts. I couldn't believe what had happened during my visit, other than the embarrassing climax. This attractive doctor had just got me harder than I'd been in nearly a year. With such little effort as well, all he had to do was sit there and look so fucking good. The visions I had of him down on his knees with his mouth open, panting and salivating as I pulled my dick his mouth was causing my member to twitch in my pants again. I had to stop. I had to stop those mental images right now.

But why? Part of me was asking myself. I'd not managed to enjoy anything sexual in so long. Was it wrong for me to want to continue with the fantasy that had brought back more of my libido than I'd had since my mid twenties? Back when I used to masturbate and wasn't expected to perform in my relationship.

'Alright, I've wrote you a referral,' Dr Hitsugaya said as he sat back on his chair and turned to me with a slip of paper. 'It's a referral to Dr Urahara, he's a therapist. From what I've seen today Ichigo you have no bodily issues at all that could be causing your problems. You're completely healthy so I am putting it down to something psychological. It's one of the most common causes of erectile dysfunction so don't feel bad. Dr Urahara is an expert and he's cured well over 90% of all patients I've referred to him for the same issue. If anyone can help you, he can.'

I took my time standing up to make sure my legs wouldn't give out from under me. They held steady though and I walked over to the desk and took the slip from his hand ad he gave me another one of those charming but fake smiles of his.

'Alright thank you,' I said as I turned to leave the office. It struck me that I actually might never see the incredibly attractive young doctor ever again after this. I noted to myself as I paused at the door to turn and sneak a final glance at him. His lab coat must have been custom made because it fit him perfect and yet everything else suggested to me that he four sizes too small to be an actual adult size of anything. I could feel the shame washing back over me as I actually stopped to consider how small his dick might be and I was curious to know if it was as small as the rest of him. He paused in his writing to push those cute little glasses back up his nose and that's when he realised I was still in the room.

'Is everything okay?' he asked and I started and gave a sharp nod before opening the door and disappearing through it.

XxXxX

'How did you get on sweetie?'

I hated when she called me nick names.

'Fine,' I said as I walked into the living room and flopped down on the couch. She was a good person, an amazing person actually and she deserved to be happy. I wished I could make her happy like she wanted me too but I couldn't.

'Ichigo I was doing some research and some of the guys on this website have said that they can reach orgasm with a blowjob…'

'You hate giving blowjobs…'

'Only because I don't think I'm very good at it.'

Somehow she always managed to find a way to bring it back to her, looking and seeking for reassurance. No matter what the issue was it was always her fault. Even if my best friends' grandfather died she'd somehow manage to twist the sympathy so that it was on her.

'Your blowjobs are fine. The issue isn't with you it's with me.' I sighed rubbing my temples. We were each others firsts and Orihime wasn't exactly the kind of girl to google porn or ask for advice so she never really got particularly skilled at giving head. Though at the time of being my first sexual experience I thought it was the best feeling in the world. We'd done a bunch of them on the lead up to our wedding since she wouldn't have sex before marriage we'd do other things. Though she stopped giving me them when we got married.

'I'd like to try again Ichigo. You used to come all the time when we did them.'

'I don't think it would be a good idea Orihime.' I sighed exasperated. The fact she was drawing more attention to this was making it worse. Besides her blow jobs would probably never be as good as…

I gulped. That image had been burned into my eyes since that morning. Dr Hitsugaya on his knees gazing up at me with half lidded eyes as I fucked his mouth. As a doctor he'd know exactly how to work a dick and he'd be really good at it too. I felt my dick stirring in my pants again and I frowned at myself.

'I have a referral to see a therapist they think it's psychological.' I stated and Orihime glanced at me.

'Has it something to do with anything I've done?'

There she goes again.

'No, they think it stems from childhood or something,' I lied smoothly standing up. 'I'm going to go for a quick shower and then go to bed early. I'll be seeing him tomorrow so hopefully we can get it sorted then we can explore options alright?' I walked over to her robotically and gave her a kiss as I turned to go up stairs. The quicker I went to bed the quicker I could trust the images of that day out of my head. I sure did hope that this Dr Urahara guy was as good as Dr Hitsugaya had said he was. The sooner that I got my libido and my erection back the sooner my life would become a shit tone easier.

XxXxX

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