Thank you to TerribleSpy for letting me know about the f'ed up formatting! Hopefully this is okay now.

circa 'guilty pleasures'

"But my most secret, my most guilty pleasure of late?
The friends with benefits situation I have going on.
I called this guy one night while on Ambien and before I knew it, I had access to on-demand sex.

Yes, I know it's a little bit Sandra Bullock, but what can I say? I never thought I'd enjoy sex as much as I do, and while I'm still a little raw after the messes from Blaine and Adam, this is the perfect thing for me right now.

And no, you're not allowed to know who he is. That's my real guilty secret.

And if anyone ever found out, any of the New Directions, or God forbid, Rachel and Santana, it would totally destroy me."

Kurt turned to his bed as he started buttoning up his shirt, and watched the other's bare chest rise and fall in sleep.

"Yep, complete obliteration."

Walking over to his 'bedroom' in the loft, Kurt left his two roommates in the bathroom to work out whatever menial issue they had to work through that night. Hopefully, Santana would only move his products to empty the top shelf, rather than hide or ruin them completely like she had the tendency to do whenever she was really pissed. He stepped behind his privacy curtain and made sure they were firmly shut behind him, before unzipping his striped hoodie and taking off his three- quarter length sweats. Kurt turned to the smirking man that sat on his bed, watching his movements.

"Y'know, if you wrote up a transcript of the conversations you guys have in this place you could make a serious name for yourself in the Hollywood screenplay business." Sebastian noted with a mockingly sincere head tilt.

Kurt rolled his eyes at him. "I think I'll leave that particular task up to Puckerman". He froze when he heard the sound of the girls moving into the kitchen, clearly trying to not make a peep.

Sebastian grinned when he saw Kurt's state.
"Oh yeah" he whispered, standing and stepping over to Kurt. "We have to be quiet don't we?"

Kurt opened his mouth to reply to Sebastian's rhetorical question, but stopped short when one of Sebastian's long, tanned fingers hovered in front of his lips.

"Shh.." The taller boy pulled him closer by his waist with one hand, as Sebastian's finger slightly brushed against Kurt's bottom lip. "No talking." He grinned wickedly and leaned in as Kurt's breath stuttered at his actions. Their lips met gently and their eyes slid shut as they pulled each other closer; Kurt, by gripping at Sebastian's t-shirt and Sebastian by embracing Kurt's whole body. He walked backwards with Kurt, and went to work on flipping their positions when he felt the soft linens of the bed come into contact with his legs.

Sebastian grinned when he saw the shocked expression on Kurt's face as his head lay in between his hands that were pinning him to the bed.

"How the hell did you-?" Sebastian cut off Kurt's exclamation with a quick kiss, and another, slower one.

"Practice, baby, I've got years of experience." He whispered against Kurt's cheekbone. "Now shh, we need to be quiet."

Sebastian moved down to Kurt's smooth jaw, peppering a few kisses before moving to trail down to his alabaster neck.

"Remember.." Sebastian heard Kurt hush out as he bit down lightly on his adams' apple, "no-oh, marks. Nothing visible."

Sebastian moved up quickly, smirked when Kurt tried to hold him in place instead. He quickly pulled his shirt over his head, and flung it somewhere behind himself and sighed when he felt Kurt's soft hand trace up his stomach. He carefully took in the semi-familiar details of Sebastian's wonderfully well-defined abdominals and torso.

"Don't worry" Sebastian murmured as he lowered himself back down to rest his forehead against Kurt's. "I know the rules." He looked into Kurt's bright blue eyes for a single beat, before capturing Kurt's mouth in a searing kiss. It wasn't particularly gentle or calm; it had clear purpose and that made Kurt's toes curl in excitement. He raised his hands to Sebastian's back and pulled him down closer, forcing him to drop to his forearms as their bodies brushed together. Kurt couldn't help the gasp that he sounded at the sparks the actions sent through his body from their rutting hips.

"Oh, my god!"

Hearing the female voice caused Kurt to push away on instinct, making Sebastian topple over the side of his bed.

"Who is that?!"

"The curtain means privacy!" He yelled out to the two girls who had intruded on him. When he turned their way in a panic, he saw Rachel passing a pot (a pot?!) over to Santana before stepping around his bed. Kurt immediately tossed a pillow at Sebastian for some kind of cover, who had apparently resigned himself to just slump on the ground and against the wall in defeat.

Santana joined Rachel is staring at a slightly sheepish Sebastian.

"Oh hell no!" The Latina lady yelled, slamming the pot on to his dresser, water sloshing over the sides. She turned away in in a huff.

"Family meeting!" Santana yelled over her shoulder. "What-?" Kurt tried to protest, turning to a shrugging Rachel.

"Family! Meeting!" he heard from another part of the loft. Rachel followed Santana out of Kurt's quarters with a suspicious side-glance at the former Warbler.

Kurt sighed and flopped back down on his bed.
"Can't believe you pushed me off the bed..." He heard Sebastian whine from below. He got another pillow in the face.

...

"Thank god you decided to cover your snow white skin, lady. You would've blinded me otherwise at this time of night."

Kurt rolled his eyes at Santana remarks as he moved over to the kitchen to pour the warm water down the sink.

(And warm water? Seriously? Were they going to put whipped cream in his palm and tickle his nose while they were at it?)

"Ah ah ah, no way preppie. Don't even try sneaking out of here, you're staying right there." Kurt turned to see a still-not-entirely-dressed Sebastian trying to step out quietly. The mentioned man turn with a sigh and a sarcastic grin.

"Aw, I'm a part of the family? Well aren't I flattered?" He snarked as he slipped his shoes back on, as well as his coat. It was a shame really, Kurt was still in the mood.

"Oh no, you're the point of conflict as Kurt's pay-per-view hooker." Santana pointed to a chair for Sebastian to sit in that was across from where she and Rachel were perched on the couch. The diva was being quieter than Kurt had imagined her being in this kind of situation and it was freaking him out a little.

Kurt sat down primly in the seat next to a very bored Sebastian and stared at the two ladies who met his gaze.

"Well?" he prompted after a few moments.
"'Well' " Santana mocked. "I don't know what the hell is going on in your brain Lady Hummel, but

you have got to stop whatever this is."
Kurt rolled his eyes as he heard Sebastian click his tongue, likely in annoyance.

"Are you missing Blaine? Are you lonely? I'm sure we can go out somewhere and find you someone better, Kurt" Rachel tagged in with a desperate tone in her voice.

"Really feeling the love here Streisand."
"Oh you've felt enough, CW" Santana glared at Sebastian.

"Anyway!" Kurt chimed, not wanting a full on verbal war to spawn. "That's actually how we met; at Skins. He felt that it would be fun to once again flirt with a guy I was with and promptly failed." Kurt turned to Sebastian with a shit eating grin. "Again."

Sebastian scoffed and slouched back into his seat with his arms crossed over his chest, but kept silent.

"So what, he came to you when he realised he wasn't gonna get it anywhere else?" Kurt turned back to Santana with a raised eyebrow.

"Okay, ignoring the implications that I would give 'it' up to anyone desperate enough, no. We actual became friends, sort of, before any of this started."

"'Sort of' friends?"

Sebastian then found it appropriate to pipe in with his viewpoint.

"I stared at his ass a lot and he pretended not to like it."

Kurt was so very tempted to kick Sebastian in the shins for that comment, but was able to stifle that temptation by closing his eyes and gritting his teeth.

"And what he means by that," he got out "is that we were able to find some common ground, and it went from there."

Santana made an ugly sound. "That common ground must've been the floor were you hit your head, because that's the only way I can see you thinking any of this" she motioned to Kurt and Sebastian "is at all a good idea."

"Santana..." Kurt groaned, resting his skull in his hands.
"No! As your best friend, it is my duty to stage your desperately needed intervention, so here it is!"

"You've gotta have a really shitty definition of 'friend' if this is was you do for yours." Sebastian retorted, earning him Santana's scorching glare.

"What did you say to me Chipmunk? You wanna fight me? I will go all Lima Heights on your smarmy ass!" Santana took to her feet in her yelling, Rachel reaching out to try and tug her back down.

"I said, your definition of 'friend' is shitty. Neither Kurt nor I need approval or validation from someone who think its okay to shit on their friend's happiness." Sebastian stood then too, but rather than aggressively throw himself into a fight like Santana had done, he just tugged on the cuffs of his coat to straighten them out.

"Now, if you're done with your melodrama, I'll be going now." Sebastian leaned down to give Kurt a quick kiss (and wow, if that wasn't a little too intimate for their situation), before standing straight and waltzing his way out of the loft with only a two-fingered salute as a goodbye.

All three of the roommates stared at the door after it had slid shut with a 'bang' for a few moments.

That douchebag left me to deal with this on my own, Kurt realised bitterly as he turned back to the females in front of him.

"What are you thinking Kurt? I mean of all people, Sebastian Smythe?" Rachel's eyes were doing that thing that happened whenever she needed to get a point across, where they became big and watery the same way they did when she was performing.

Kurt sighed. "I get it, I do, and trust me if he was still the same as he was last year then I wouldn't have even considered our... situation to be possible. But he's not the same, Rach."

"You realised that 'he's a changed man!' is the excuse that every pathetic female character gives to be with a scumbag, right?" Santana scoffed as she fell back on to the couch.

"I know." Kurt looked up the meet Santana's eye. "But I'm not with Sebastian in that way, and I don't want to be, can't be, right now."

"What about Blaine?" Rachel asked. "I know you guys aren't together anymore, but you will be eventually, so you shouldn't do anything to jeopardise that."

Kurt felt a subtle ache in his chest at the mention of his ex. It wasn't as painful to hear his name anymore as it once had been -he'd worked too hard on getting over him for it to be- but he was still a little tender. On top of that was the quick rush if anger that flew through his veins.

"He cheated on me Rachel. We weren't even apart for more than a few months before that happened, so I'm sorry, but if I get any say in it there will never be any more of 'Kurt and Blaine'." Kurt pushed his fingers through his tousled hair. "And that doesn't mean there is a 'Kurt and Sebastian', at least not in that way, but yeah, no more Blaine."

Rachel let out a slow sigh as she leaned back in her seat.

Santana pursed her lips, her eyebrows furrowed. "Fine. I don't like it, I definitely don't like who you're doing it with, but if this is what you want to do, then so be it."

Kurt knew he really didn't need her approval or permission, but he couldn't help the relief he felt at her words. "Thank you," he whispered.

Santana nodded in her holier-than-thou way. "But if I ever walk in on a sight like that again, I just might have to rethink my stance on this little benefits-based relationship you have." She stood up, sweeping hands over her clothing to get out invisible creases, before turning and making her way towards the kitchen area.

"Then don't ignore the privacy curtains!" Kurt yelled after her with a roll of his eye. He looked back to Rachel, who still didn't look completely satisfied, but she never did unless she got everything her way, so he was fine with letting that pass.

"So, you want to tell me why you thought it would be okay to try dunking my hand in warm water?"