Yuuri stared at the mic in front of him before looking sideways to see his best friend waving his hands at him urging him to start the program.

He couldn't.

Not because he isn't trying – or because he lost his voice, but because he lost his reason.

Yuuri broke up with his two-year boyfriend, Five time world champion and Olympic Gold medalist, Victor Nikiforov just a few months ago. He didn't know why. All he remembered was living happily with Victor until the other asked him to sit down with him in the living room as he listened to the love of his life say, "This isn't working anymore Yuuri…" and he was so confused that all he remembered replying was, "What? The couch? It's working perfec –" but he wasn't able to finish his sentence before Victor finally said, "Us. This relationship. This isn't working anymore"

He thought it was a joke – Victor said it isn't. He asked if there is someone new – Victor said there wasn't. He was so confused that he couldn't even cry – even as he watched Victor take out his luggage from their room and started packing his stuff – not even when he saw Victor drag the luggage across their bedroom, through the living room and out of their apartment.

It took Yuuri until he laid down in bed to sleep for the message to actually sink in. Victor broke up with him. He isn't coming back. That's when he started crying.

Phichit went to his and Victor's apartment the next day and Yuuri almost took the hinges off of the door from the sheer force of opening it, only to see his best friend/manager giving him a pained smile as he replied with a shrug and ushered the man in.

Yuuri remembered his best friend talking – but none that made sense. Yuuri was thankful anyway.

It took him exactly three months before he started to pick up his pen and guitar again – which was a feat on its own as he really thought he wouldn't be able to anymore. He refused to check his social media sites – in case Victor suddenly shows up, it would hurt him, so he left everything up to Phichit.

It only took him an hour, however, to finish a song.

He made his best friend listen to it – as the man urged him to record it, which Yuuri refused to do. It was too personal.

But now here he is, four months after he made Phichit listen to the song and seven months after Victor broke up with him, in a club that Chris, Victor's best friend, owns – supposed to have a mini concert – as an apology to his fans whom he worried by not showing up in any events.

He looked at the mic again before looking at the crowd – searching as he berated himself before reminding himself, 'He isn't here you idiot… stop it' as he smiled sadly and looked down before he raised his head to look at his audience as he softly said, "So, how's everyone doing?" before chuckling a bit as he added, "Good evening everyone… I am Katsuki Yuuri and welcome… to this mini session" as he started to strum his guitar.

"Hey! Old man! If you're going to sulk like that then why break up with Katsudon?!!" Yuri Plisetsky yelled at his senior and rinkmate, Victor Nikiforov as he saw the silver-haired man glide across the ice.

It was a surprise for everyone when Victor suddenly showed up at their rink seven months ago declaring that he'll start training with them again. Of course he was welcomed, despite Yakov yelling at his brashness, they all knew Yakov favors Victor a lot so they let it be.

Yuri thought it would be fine too, this way, Victor could choreograph his performances – like the man promised he would, 'but under these circumstance?' Yuri thought as he shook his head in anger as he glided towards the side of the rink to follow Victor who is now putting on his skate guards back.

"Why are you still here?" he asked finally after sitting down close to Victor and they just sat in silence as they both waited for something – anything, until it was Victor broke the silence as he heard him sigh and say, "Because Yuuri didn't stop me" and Yuri had to double take as his eyes grew as large as saucers as he said, "I'm sorry… WHAT? You stayed here; acted like nothing happened; sulked an entire lifetime, just because Katsudon didn't stop you from leaving? What the actual fuck?!!"

Yuri heard Victor tsked from the side with a mumbled, 'manners' before straightening up and brushing the non-existence dirt in his clothes with a muttered, "Yuuri didn't stop me. I told him it isn't working. I broke up with him and …" he paused before he turned to Yuri and finished, "he let me go"

Yuri wished he heard it wrong. Because he didn't know Victor fucking Nikiforov is THIS stupid – as if he couldn't go lower in Yuri's standards, he went ahead and surprised him yet again as he mentally face palmed himself and took out his phone in his bag and tapped it a bit before shoving the phone to Victor and said, "Look.. I don't fucking know if you've watched this video Chris sent to the group chat last month but WATCH IT… alright??!! Think about what you did and think about what kind of person Katsudon is! God damn it old man! I didn't know you are really this stupid" as he gruffly stuffed his skates on his bag and walked away from Victor as he yelled, "Leave my phone to Mila… she can take it to me later!" and just like that, he was out of the building.

Victor stared at the phone. He knew this video. Chris sent this to their group chat last month and Victor has yet to see it. Their friends didn't comment – even Phichit, but merely sent a thumbs up. Eventually, as Victor back reads the messages he wasn't able to read, he saw Leo said that the song was beautiful and the possibility of Yuuri finding another muse by now is highly likely since he's a singer/model/actor and has probably met someone more beautiful and moved on, hence, the beautiful song.

Victor received another video from Chris after that. One that he didn't share to the group but to Victor alone. But what Leo commented still stung – and this, a proof that Yuuri indeed has moved on from him stung so much he wanted to puke but he just heaved drily from the sides as he felt tears prickle from his eyes.

He knew that it was his fault. He was the one who broke up with Yuuri. He was… scared. Yuuri is beautiful and full of potential, while Victor was nearing the end of his career. He got scared that Yuuri would get tired of him so he did what he thought would be best, before Yuuri leaves him, he'll break up with Yuuri.

It was difficuly. God. It was very difficult. And Yuuri's golden eyes looking hurt and confused almost made him stop his plan and just say that yes, this is all a joke… but he couldn't.

And now, a month after this video was sent to them, he started playing it and the he heard Yuuri's voice, and he felt his eyes starting to water as he listened to the younger man sing.

I love the way you smile

When I look to your eyes

He saw Yuuri smile with a tear in his eyes. Victor took in a sharp intake of breath as he saw Yuuri looking directly at the camera – which makes it seem like he's talking to he one watching it and not the audience.

Him.

It felt like he was talking to him.

I love the way you laugh

When I try to be funny

And Victor watched as the Japanese man shook his head with a sad smile as if remembering something that pained him.

And how a tear rolls down your face

When I say no one could ever take your place.

'Is this for me?'he asked to no one as he remembered a scene from what seemed like a long time ago when he wakes Yuuri up even in the middle of the night just to ask again and again if he still loves him – if he would still love him if he stopped being the world famous figure skater as Yuuri cuddles him every time and insist that he would – that he does.

He berates himself after though. Reminding himself that this, in fact, couldn't be for him as he felt another pang of hurt in his heart as he thought of another person getting the same treatment as him. Hearing Yuuri tell him or her that they are loved over and over again until they believe it.

'God… it hurts'he thought as he felt hot tears falling freely on his face. He couldn't turn off the video though as he couldn't take his eyes from his ex-lover – he never could anyway.

Baby when you sleep

I watched you breathing

Baby when you dream

I dream with you

Cause everywhere you are is where

I wanna be

It's true everything you do

Makes me know how much I love you.

'Please stop'Victor begged in his head as his brain started to get fuzzy. He didn't know what to feel. He knew that he couldn't be hurt as this was his decision. He wanted to make Yuuri happy… even at the expense of his own.

'You're fucking selfish'Victor scolded himself as he added,'and stubborn! Go to Yuuri already! Ask him to take you back because this is stupid! You couldn't live without him! Get him back!'but in that thought, he paused as he really doesn't know if Yuuri still loved him – because it is likely that he has someone else.

The way you touch my lips

Right after every kiss

And softly whisper

That I'm your everything

Victor remembered what Yuri Plisetsky said, 'think about what you did and what kind of person Katsudon is' he could almost hear the kid yell as he listened intently.

He remembered himself doing that to Yuuri. Tracing his lips every after kiss. It's so soft and warm and Victor revels at the taste of it. He loves Yuuri – in all senses possible.

The way you pray

Our love wont die

Every night just before you

Close your eyes.

Somewhere in the song he heard Yuuri's voice crack and Victor has to rub his eyes a but before he saw Yuuri in the video looking down as he saw Yuuri shook a bit, a clear indication that Yuuri is crying as well.

And I believe something are

Meant to be

Victor blinked. And blinked. As he tried to put two and two together. Sure, Chris text him to apologize to Yuuri or at least talk to the guy one last time before completely ignoring him – but just now when he saw Yuuri cry did it finally sink in.

He had caused that.

He was so focused on his own pain and insecurities that he forgot that Yuuri has them too. He forgot to count Yuuri's pain when he thought of leaving him. And now the memories of Yuuri telling him and assuring him that he'll be his last love is suddenly drowning him and becoming too much.

Cause I believe in love and

Yours was meant for me.

Victor heard Yuuri finish the song in an almost whisper and the video was cut.

He sat there for about ten minutes just looking at the black screen of Yuri's phone when he finally decided.

He's going back to Yuuri.