Hashirama thinks it's time Tobirama got a secretary/assistant/bodyguard/someone that will put him in his place when he needs it/someone to keep that ego in check, basically the ultimate right-hand man... and he has just the right (wo)man for the job

Standard disclaimer applies.

The Ultimate Gamble

"Brother, what is the meaning of this?" Tobirama stormed into the president's office, door slamming open and closed haphazardly. The secretary outside shrunk back automatically behind her desk. Tobirama, in one word, was seething.

How dare his brother assign him a, a, a babysitter!

Hashirama pointedly ignored his younger brother for a good minute, pretending to read one of the financial reports before looking up. The look on the white-haired man's face was worth gold, but Hashirama quelled his mirth and met the look of rage with a practiced face of innocence.

Tobirama was having one of that.

He slapped a folder on top of his brother's desk, "What is the meaning of this?"

Hashirama looked at the folder before looking at his brother, "It's a folder of course."

Tobirama was going to punch him, sibling hierarchy or not.

On the inside, Hashirama was rolling in his mindscape for the laughter. Oh, how he wished this was almost a hidden camera prank.

"Aniue, explain."

Hashirama cringed, his brothers knew he hated being addressed by such a formal title. It was ridiculously archaic. They weren't exactly in the Warring States period. He looked up at his little brother (because as the eldest, he deemed it fit that all others that came after himself were little, they hated their doting older brother but he didn't care) and said, "It's a resume and profile for your right-hand man, that should be here in a few hours."

"Yes, I understood that from the post-it note on the inside, but that does not explain one, why you think I need a so called 'right-hand man', and two, why you did not bother to confer with me before you hired them!" Tobirama's voice steadily rose, not quite shouting, because he would never shout at his older brother. But Hashirama knew better, he really had outdone himself this time.

His father didn't like it when his sons fought. One of them might not be coming home tonight.

Hashirama made a show of sighing and attempted to placate his brother. He guided the other man to the couches and him sit. Hashirama was proud his managed as much. His couch was known as "the sucker couch" it was capable of sapping away all and any energy. The perfect place to put his overworked wife, difficult business people, irritable Uchiha, and lately his younger brother.

"Don't think I don't know what you're trying to do," Tobirama grumbled as he settled into the infamous couch. He wanted to be raging, breathing fire from his mouth if he could, but damn the couch made it really hard to stay mad.

"Well, as vice president of Konoha Industries, and president of the subsidiary Konoha Aerospace and Transportation, I've noticed that you've been overworked lately trying to handle everything on your own," Hashirama took a seat opposite of his brother, "So, I took it upon myself to get you the ultimate all-in-one package of a right-hand man. Someone to help you organize and stay on track."

"But I do not need a bodyguard."

"I disagree wholeheartedly little brother," Hashirama beamed, "It's a bit of reassurance for me, as your older brother, and for our father if we know that you'll be left in someone's all-encompassing capable hands. We are public figures after all, never know who might be after you, or when Izuna will strike next."

Izuna Uchiha was blessed by the prankster god, Tobirama was sure of it. Always out to get the better of Tobirama, because Izuna was president of Konoha Publishing and always sulked and pouted when his profit margin couldn't beat Tobirama's. It was childish, really. Tobirama occasionally prayed to whatever diety that was listening, that Izuna would never get the chance to meet Naruto.

"So you decided to hire someone like this?" Tobirama flipped open the folder and the first page had a photo clipped to it. A photo of a young adult in a cream-coloured business suit, a professional smile, emerald eyes, and short pink hair. "He doesn't even look like puberty's hit yet, and he's," he flipped the photo to look at the details, "over twenty!"

Hashirama chuckled, "Now, now. Looks can be deceiving. He's mastered many martial art forms at his young age, also trained in emergency first aid. Plenty of experience. He has wonderful references that sing praises! What more could you possibly ask for?"

"Maybe someone more... visually intimidating?" Tobirama struggled to find the right words.

Hashirama guffawed at that, "Tobirama, my dear younger brother, I think you do a fine job of that on your own." He reduced his laugh to a snicker. Tobirama frowned, certainly he wasn't as open in expressing himself as his older brother, but he wasn't exactly scary either, right?

Right?

"Anyways, just review the file and debrief him on your schedule. Get to know each other a little bit, and do not drive him away!" Hashirama hastily rushed his brother out the door, "I expect to hear good things!"

He slammed the door in his brother's face.

Tobirama grumbled as he made his way back to his office in the primary building. He didn't even register his brother's secretary wishing him a good day.

Hashirama listened to the footsteps retreating before leaning against his door and sighing heavily. He walked back to his desk and pulled a photo from the middle drawer in his desk. A photo of a young adult in modest summer dress and large straw hat, emerald eyes and long pink hair. She stood next to another woman, a familiar buxom blonde, his cousin, Tsunade.

He stared at the photo with familial love, "Tsuna-chan, I hope you know what you're doing."

He loved Tsunade like a sister, and as his first female cousin, he had spoiled her rotten. Doted on her like he did to his younger brothers. They had a lot in common. Like their gambling habit.

Hashirama already built his own family, and now he wanted Tobirama to find and start his own too. The man had pushed his metaphorical chips into the pool of the ultimate gamble, his brother's happiness.

x

Author's Corner:

Sorry, this idea came to me suddenly before bed last night. Kept me up for a while too. Um. What can I say, I have a thing for Tobirama/Sakura. Thought I would try to do it in a more modern setting. Obviously it's very AU, and canon family relationships don't translate perfectly here. We've all seen in happen, i.e. Madara being Sasuke's uncle, etc. That kind of thing. So for that same reason and for character inclusion purposes, Tsunade is Hashirama and Tobirama's cousin, instead of granddaughter/niece.

It's going to be a drabble series (1k words more or less each chapter). I don't want to have to get too technical or detailed about stuff. I just want this to be light and funny.

And yes, Sakura is a woman, but she's working with Tobirama as a man. Why? Because canon Tobirama is archaic and canon Sakura is modern, and they are each individuals of their time. In this modern AU, Tobirama's thinking is a little traditional. If he wanted a secretary, he couldn't care less if they were male or female, but if it was someone to be his assistant, someone to stand in danger on his behalf, someone that could keep up with his schedule, Tobirama by default thinks of a man and not a woman in that job. Hashirama knows this and that's why Sakura is dressed like a guy.

And besides, writing manly Tobirama having his heart skip a beat over an effeminate man (because he is really a she) sounds like fun.

Reviews appreciated.