So quick explanation on the introducing the Grangers to magic being glossed over thing.

I have read a lot of fanfictions, I've written a lot of fanfictions, and going on five years of being part of the Potter fandom I can honestly say I do not wish to waste my time glossing out something I've already done twice before, and have already read dozens of times.

It isn't important to the overarching plot, it's just there to explain that the Blacks and Harry introduced Hermione to magic before she put her authority blinders on, simple as that. If you don't like it, I'm sorry, just don't read it then.

NOW! Sirius and Iris talking like adults while also being their somewhat eccentric selves, enjoy!

The days following after Christmas and leading up to the New Year were a bit hectic, primarily due to the soft introduction to the magical world that had been offered to the Granger family, something Sirius had found both amusing and somewhat jarring in regards to said family's intensity in the pursuit of knowledge.

He had been more than happy to let Iris field the majority of their questions as they hosted them for dinner, and even handed off a few 'safe' books on the history of magic in Europe for them to peruse on their own time. Iris had assured him they'd last at best two days before needing new reading material, this seemed to amuse the redhead quite a bit but as with many things involving her Sirius found it best to not ask questions.

That was then, this was now, it was the day before New Years Eve, Harry was off at the Grangers, Iris was holed up in her lab, and...he was bored. After growing tired of watching Monty Python reruns he turned the telly off and stretched out popping his back in the process, scratching his beard absently he eventually wandered to the staircase and made his way up.

He really didn't know what led him to the labs, he was rather explicitly told not to enter them, though that had been Harry's warning not Iris's, so he shrugged and rapped his knuckles on the heavy wood door. There was no response at first, then a few moments later the door swung open and Sirius blinked in surprise as he took in the controlled chaos before him.

There were glowing glyphs pulsing on the walls that were not housing bookshelves, large tables covered in bubbling cauldrons and beakers, a table obviously dedicated runic enchantment, and a half dozen more that were covered in magical and mechanical this and thats that Sirius couldn't possibly hope to understand.

Iris turned away from the bench she was leaning over while raising an inquisitive brow, she was holding some flat green wafer that was covered in silver tracks and some sort of smoking metal rod in the other, a heavy pair of multi-lens glasses covered her eyes and her hair was held up into a bun with a pair of pencils. As was usual for her she was wearing a pair of tight jeans, a white blouse, and was currently barefoot, Sirius could not help but smile slightly at the quirky young woman as he nodded towards her.

"Hey Iris, sorry to bother you I was just...umm...bored."

She scoffed at that while turning back to her work, "It's fine the no entering the lab rule was meant for Harry not you, kid is his own person but he is just enough like me at that age that I have to be worried about childish curiosity around dangerous objects. Gimme a few minutes and you'll have my full attention, feel free to look around and since you're a Black, you'll know what is safe to touch and what isn't."

Sirius smirked and nodded, "True enough, take your time." He then began to wander around the room taking in the various projects with a curious eye, when he realized he had no idea what he was actually looking at he turned to the multitude of bookshelves and couldn't help raising his brow at some of the titles present. Most of the tomes looked ancient, as in several centuries ancient, picking up one volume he leafed through the pages and noted that he knew enough to recognize it as Sanskrit, but had no idea what it actually said.

Putting the book back he did the same for several other books and eventually couldn't help turning towards Iris and asking, "Can you read all of these, I mean without a translation spell?"

Iris didn't turn from her work but she did respond, "Yup, trade off from being besties with the most terrifyingly brilliant witch of my generation. She found some ridiculously complex and hilariously illegal potion recipe that would allow you to absorb the written form of any language that was used extensively in magical rituals past and present. So while I can read and translate ancient Mesopotamian, Hindi, Sanskrit, Mandarin and what have you I can't actually speak them or understand the spoken language. Oddly enough if they write it down, I understand it completely and can reply in kind."

Sirius felt his brow furrow, "That's..."

Iris let out a barking laugh, "Magical powers are bullshit powers that lets us do bullshit things Sirius, I learned to not ask questions about the inherent quirks in the system a long time ago."

"Right...ummm why was it hilariously illegal?"

She shrugged while bringing the green wafer close to her mouth so she could blow on it a moment before bringing the smoking rod back to its surface, "Same reason the Catholic church freaked the fuck out when Martin Luther translated the Bible from Latin to German. Dead language, only priests knew it, so only priests could spread the word of the divine and all that. Now any literate German could read it and go 'Wait, what the fuck!? That isn't anything like what the priests have been telling us!' and suddenly people started asking questions.

"Questions are dangerous, because now the people can take in the excuses and platitudes the priests had been throwing at them for centuries, turn to the now user friendly Bible, and go 'Umm...bullshit?' and of course that eventually led to the Protestant Reformation and a whole lot of pointless wars about pointless things making an already terrible situation worse."

Placing the wafer and rod on the table she turned around pulling her weird glasses up to her forehead while leaning back smirking at Sirius, "Moral of the story, knowledge is power, hide it well, because when the common man finds out that not only were you lying to them but they no longer need you? Well, there goes your power. These books are almost all first editions or original copies, if I were to condense down all this knowledge into what is commonly considered as the truth and or 'academically acceptable' it might fill one of these dozens of shelves."

Sirius blinked, "Uh...wow..."

Iris laughed while walking towards him, "Don't let my youth fool you Sirius, I abused the hell out of a time turner when I was younger just for personal study. Still, you were bored yeah? Care to go to my office for a drink? I'm not going to have much longer to indulge after all."

"Sure? What do you mean you're not going to have much longer?"

Iris led him out of the lab and down the hall while shaking her head, "When I was just Harry's sexy female alternate dimension self with far too much baggage for her own good I could goof off, get drunk when I wanted to and all that. Kreacher would make sure nothing would happen to him after all... Since I'm...well..."

"Ah," Sirius said with a knowing nod, "Now that he's officially put you in the position of a parental figure you need to set a better example, right?"

She winced as she opened her office door, "Yeah, no more drinking in front of the kid, no more swearing like a sailor simply because I have zero fucks to give, I just..."

She sighed wearily as she fell into her high backed chair, deflated a bit, then reached for the snifter of scotch, popped the top off, and filled two glasses pushing one towards Sirius. They both sat there in silence, neither of them taking a sip from their drinks as they lost themselves in their own thoughts, eventually Sirius took in a deep breath and nodded to himself.

"Yeah...all right, look, I know I screwed up when I got myself thrown into Azkaban, and I've sworn to make up for that as best I can. So... if you're going to take this being his mum thing seriously, I'll take being his dad equally seriously, we're not a couple but that's fine that isn't what Harry needs, he needs parents that care about him. So...after the new year, we, ugh, we take our responsibilities as gospel, that means no getting drunk when he's home, cutting back on the swearing and just...setting a good example for...for our son. Deal?"

Iris pursed her lips as she tilted her head to the side, "For real?"

Sirius nodded, "Yeah, for real."

Smirking Iris raised her drink towards Sirius who mirrored the gesture, with a clink of glass she dryly stated, "To growing the fuck up, Circe help us."

Sirius barked out a laugh, "To growing the fuck up, Circe help us."

They downed their drinks in one pull, placed their glasses on the table, and sat in silence, eventually Iris sighed out, "Well...what now?"

Sirius shrugged, "We still need dress robes for the Ministry New Years Eve ball, so...shopping? I mean we've really pushed this off to the last minute so lets see what's out there?"

"Paris?"

"Of course, being Blacks we must dress to not only impress but to make sure everyone knows how inferior they are to our noble and most ancient house."

Iris snorted, "You heard that a lot growing up, didn't you?"

"Every damn day, so, hey, the Grangers have Harry, Kreacher can hold down the fort, and we've got the old family portkey to Nice. So we'll pop over to the continent, apparate to Paris, and make a day trip out of it?"

Iris shrugged, "Why not, needs done anyway, need to change and put some shoes on first..."

The pair stood and as they moved to walk out of the room Sirius noticed a glass case standing between a pair of potted plants. Inside it was a tiara of some sort, a gaudy ring, a gold cup, a thick chained necklace and a tatty book, all of them looked damaged beyond repair.

Iris paused when she noticed Sirius wasn't following her, he looked at the case, met her gaze, and raised an eyebrow.

She just smirked, "It's a funny story, I'll tell you about it sometime, now come on we're burning daylight."

Sirius glanced back at the case, shrugged, and followed the Lady Black for an intensive Parisian shopping excursion.

Shopping in the magical district of Paris was...absolutely nothing like shopping in Diagon Ally, but considering that said ally resembled a throwback to the Victorian era dosed on LSD dipped in a crunchy coating of willful ignorance that wasn't all that surprising.

Sirius chuckled beside her as he adjusted his scarf, "Harsh, but not inaccurate."

Iris felt her cheeks burn as she buried her face into her own scarf in embarrassment while letting out mournful, "Oh Circe did I say that out loud?"

Sirius laughed and bumped his shoulder into her's gently as he nodded, "Yup, you did. Nothing to be ashamed of though, by the time the Nazis started attacking London in earnest the magical communities had finally perfected an anti bomb ward. By that time most of the mainland magical communities had already been devastated so it was really no benefit to them, so when reconstruction began they had to start from the ground up. Magical Britain didn't have to do that, so they decided to just stick their fingers in their ears going 'LALALALA I can't hear you!' as the world passed them by. Way Lily explained it to me anyway."

Iris scoffed and nodded, "Yeah sounds about right."

Stopping to look into a jewelry stores windows they examined the various elegant pieces for a time before Sirius restarted the conversation.

"There is a reason you hold so little regard for your homeland's magical community."

It wasn't a question, Iris scowled.

"Several, most of them directly related to why I'm here and can never go home..." Huffing she turned and began walking away quickly causing Sirius to jog a bit to catch up with her.

They remained silent for a few minutes, that is until Sirius broke said silence once again, "Look, Iris, we all have a past and I am not prying, I just... I could do a lot more to help you if you opened up a bit."

Iris stopped, closed her eyes for about ten seconds, then let out a very weary sigh before nodding, "Yeah...ok. Lets just...lets just start slow, I'll give you a question a day, nothing too heavy at first just...just something to make me comfortable talking about...this..."

Sirius nodded, "How about in that pastry shop? Whatever they're cooking smells good and I wouldn't mind a hot coffee."

Iris agreed and they soon found themselves in a booth, staring down at their drinks, both of them feeling incredibly awkward at the moment.

Iris rapped her fingernails against the lacquered wood table a few times then leaned back to meet Sirius' gaze, "Well, all on you, ask away."

Sirius tilted his head back and forth a few times then came to a decision, "What was I like in your original reality?"

She actually snorted at that, "You weren't there."

He blinked in confusion, "Pardon?"

Iris pinched the bridge of her nose a moment before dropping her hand and leaning her head back on the booth rest, "My Godfather shared some physical similarities and a handful of personality quirks with you but you are most certainly not him."

His brow furrowed as his head tilted in a very dog like manner that Iris had to resist giggling at, "How so?"

Taking a sip of her coffee Iris savored the flavor a moment before placing the mug back on the table while replying, "You aren't intrinsically broken for starters."

"I'm sorry what do you mean by that?"

She huffed, "His default state was that of a broken, defeated, self destructive man who only had three real states of mind, 'Kill Wormtail', 'Protect Iris', and 'Alcohol'. Sirius I sprung you out of there when you were going on six years in that hellhole, my Godfather? He didn't escape until the summer of '93, he was in there for twice as long as you were with no counseling, no rehabilitation, no potion regime." She took in a deep breath, closed her eyes, then let it out as she met his gaze, "I loved him like my psychotic yet lovable uncle. I never really got to know him like I wanted to, and in the end, when I was fifteen he got himself killed protecting me from Bellatrix LeStrange. I...I think that's what he wanted, for the pain to stop, to feel like he actually fulfilled his duty as my Godfather, and to go out in a blaze of glory doing it."

Iris let in a heavy sob, and that was when she realized she was crying, and when the hell did Sirius get on her side of the booth and wrap his arm around her? She didn't mind much at least, his shoulder was comfy to rest her head on.

"So," Sirius began, "a much more messed up and near nihilistic version of me managed to escape Azkaban?"

Iris felt a chuckle build in her chest as she ran a napkin across her face to wipe away the tears, "Yeah, it was one of those one in a million coincidences. Minister Fudge was doing his yearly inspection of the prison and my Godfather asked for his paper, Fudge being the incompetent moron that he is gave it to him and low and behold. Right on the front page was the Weasley family, the youngest son having his rather long lived pet rat sitting on his shoulder, a familiar rat missing a rather specific toe."

Sirius' response was completely deadpan, "You have got to be kidding me."

Iris smiled wanly while she shook her head slightly, "Right? Anyway while the dementors had taken away all of his good memories and emotions, they'd just left all the negative ones to fester, one of them being a murderous need for vengeance. Ends up all consuming rage is a hell of an anesthetic and he was able to shake off the dementors, slip through the bars as Padfoot, swim to the shore, and well...the rest is history."

They sat there in companionable silence for a few minutes when Sirius eventually pulled his arm from around her shoulders as she sat up while working a kink out of her neck, "Feel better after getting that out?"

Iris thought on it a moment, then nodded, "Oddly enough...yeah..."

"Good, now lets pay for this, get bundled back up and finish our shopping before it gets dark, we're still going to have to get fitted for our robes and you know how long that takes."

Iris grimaced, "I'd ask if we have to but I know three witches and one patriarch who would have...words with us if we showed up to the ball in anything but our best."

Sirius shot her a toothy grin as he sat up and offered Iris his hand, "And that is why you are the Lady Black, you know when to choose your battles. So, shall we My Lady?"

Shrugging her jacket on and wrapping her scarf around her neck Iris rolled her eyes as she hooked her arm around the one he offered, "Yes yes we shall, come on lets get this over with before I decide to go all emo again."

Sirius rolled his eyes in return as he led them out the door, "As My Lady commands, I shall obey."

"Sirius?"

"Yes My Lady?"

"Call me 'My Lady' one more time today and I'm going to punch you."

"Of course My Lady."

Iris released him, cocked her fist back, and punched him in the bicep as hard as she could before hooking her arm back around his with a huff.

Sirius just broke out laughing.

Character development! Yay!