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Written for;

Can You Make It To The End Challenge - Round 1 - Regulus Black.

Indecision

The cigarette burns his chapped lips but the slight sting is welcome. It reminds him that he is alive, that he is still breathing. The night air is cold and he can feel the wind lapping at his bare skin, cooling the sex burnt flesh. Barty is sprawled behind him, starfish like on the bed, his eyes closed and his breathing even.

Regulus envies him that ease. He wishes he could feel so satisfied. He wishes that the sex, the rough and tumble, the adoring words and whispers, the slapping of bodies could leave him feeling like everything was right with the world.

It's not. Nothing is right.

And yet… is it really wrong?

Indecision has been warring within him for months and it is slowly killing him from the inside out. He tries not to be selfish and therein lays the problem.

Would it be more or less selfish to continue his life as it is? Not completely satisfied, not completely happy, but it is enough, isn't it? To have Barty by his side, to keep the only boy he's ever loved happy and content in his bed?

But the Dark Lord… can Regulus live with himself, knowing that he and only he could be the one to start the end of his life? He thinks not, because the promises have long since proven themselves empty, and the words of a madman are just that.

Words.

Flicking the cigarette butt away, Regulus sighs. He is still undecided. Until he is sure…

Barty is waiting for him.

For tonight, that is enough.