OQ Angst Fest Prompt 11 & 34

Pearl Harbor, 31st July 1943

Despite Pearl Harbor being thousands of miles away from the war happening in two other parts of the world, the nurses at the naval hospital are as close to the front as the soldiers. It's Saturday, the hospital is buzzing with nurses, preparing the beds for the ship with ninety-three wounded soldiers, which will arrive in the harbor on early Sunday morning. Wounded during the war in the Pacific, unable to be treated on the Navy hospital ships. They're the ones whose chance of survival is a little higher than the others. They get these ships in quite frequently, ever since the war with Japan started. Back in the days at school they were prepared for emergencies, but no one had prepared them for the attack on Pearl Harbor about 18 months ago. War changes people, no matter how close or far away they are from the actual front. War has changed them.

Mal is taking a break outside, smoking a cigarette. It's a nasty habit, she knows, but the cold smoke smoothes down her fluttering nerves in the most calming way. She's leaning against the doorframe, replaying inside her head what still needs to be done before the ship comes in tomorrow. She has to write the schedule, she still has to check the supplies and fill out a form to organize new ones in time. Because of the war, long delays with the deliveries are commonplace, so it's better to be safe than sorry.

"Taking a break, Lieutenant?" a voice behind her asks.

Regina steps forward, dressed in her crisp, white nurse uniform, reaching for Mal's cigarette, which she shares willingly. A little smirk plays around Mal's lips as she watches her friend exhale the smoke before handing the cigarette back.

"You know you don't have to call me that," the blonde muses. "I don't mind when the others do though."

"It has a nice ring to it. First Lieutenant Malise von Drḁgen."

"They should have promoted you as well after the attack. We did what we had to do together."

Mal smiles, remembering the day of the ceremony a few months ago where their work and effort during the attack on Pearl Harbor by the Japanese had been rewarded. She now is a proud owner of the Bronze Star and in the position of the hospital's head nurse. She'd taken control over the situation, back when bombs fell on the base, had rallied the nurses, and organized the hospital's response to the attack, even when the bombs started to fall close to the hospital. It had been her who had handed out gas masks to the nurses in order for them to breathe in between all the fumes and smoke, enabling them to keep caring for the patients.

"But you took the lead. And I'm glad you did," Regina responds as they look down to the harbor, which only shows little signs of the attack now.

"Have you heard from Mary Margaret? Ever since she received David's letter yesterday, she's been a bit disturbed and we need her tomorrow." Mal takes a last pull from her cigarette and watches the smoke disappear into thin air.

"She said she wasn't feeling well, but that he was fine. I'll check up on her before I go home tonight. You know how hard it's been for her with Neal being sick all the time. She misses David a lot." Regina tries to smile but it doesn't quite meet her eyes.

A few weeks after Robin and David had left, Mary Margaret had found out she was pregnant. The pregnancy had been hard on her, as was being a single mother while constantly worrying her husband wouldn't come home, would never see his son. It's not like Regina can't relate, only that neither she nor Robin had been able to meet their child, which had never been born.

The memory still hurts. A lot.

Mal takes her friend's hand and squeezes it, knowing exactly what Regina is thinking about. She's been there, every step of the way, seeing her friend lose her baby while at the same time they have to be strong for and help Mary Margaret with her pregnancy. Regina sighs, swallowing down the painful memories, and glances at Mal who is staring at her with a hint of admiration.

It's the one thing she's always been grateful for: No matter what life has thrown at her, Mal has never pitied her, only ever told her how strong she is and given support where others don't know what to say.

"We are a bit short on penicillin and the cook wants to talk to you, too."

"I'll note it down. Thank you, Regina."

The brunette smiles before she heads back inside to help with the preparations, leaving Mal for her well deserved two-minute break.

Mal sighs, collects her thoughts and stubs out the cigarette. She is ready to head back inside when she sees one of the telegram boys approach with his bicycle. If she weren't working at a hospital, the sight of this boy would send a shiver down her spine. Every family dreads the news the so-called angels of death bring. News from the front. In this case however, it might be more information about the ship that is coming in tomorrow.

She walks down the stairs to greet the boy and take the telegram.

"Good morning, Ma'am," the boy greets her, jumping off his bicycle. He looks nervous, more nervous than usual.

Mal reaches for the telegram but he pulls away, eyes stuck to the ground.

"I'm sorry, Ma'am, but… this is a telegram for Mrs. Locksley."

Something inside her breaks, and she knows. Mal just knows, as she stares at the little piece of paper in the boy's hand.

"I'll give it to her," she whispers. The boy just nods and hands her the paper without another word. He leaves as quickly as he came.

She needs to sit down, needs a moment to collect her thoughts. Her fingers slide over the paper and she can swear she smells a hint of the fresh ink it was typed with. It weighs heavy in her hands, almost pulling her down like an anchor into a sea of worries. Maybe it's not so bad. Maybe it's good news. Maybe he's coming home. But when have they ever been blessed with good news? Should she open it? It's not her place to do so, but she needs to know, has to know what misery fate is about to throw upon her best friend once again, after everything she's been through in the past two years. Although everything inside her screams not to, she opens the telegram.

WESTERN UNION TELEGRAM

RECEIVED AT PEARL CITY, HAWAII

WA WASHINGTON DC 43 JUL 31 AM 1009

MRS. REGINA LOCKSLEY

REGRET TO INFORM YOU YOUR HUSBAND FIRST LIEUTENANT ROBIN LOCKSLEY 41 ST IS OFFICIALLY REPORTED AS KILLED IN ACTION JULY TWENTY FIVE OVER THE CHANNEL. LETTER FOLLOWS.

MERLIN, THE ADJUDANT GENERAL

Every bit of oxygen has left her body and it is only when she almost chokes that Mal takes a flat breath. It feels like someone has put a rope around her throat. She'd been so angry with Robin when he'd left Regina, so angry when he'd chosen the prospect of becoming a hero over her. They would have called him coward but at least he would've been alive and well, had he stayed. And now…

Her hands want to clench, want to crumble the note, shred it into pieces, want to burn it and just pretend it never existed. How dare he? How dare he die on Regina?

"Fuck!" she exclaims, rubbing a hand over her face, careful to spare her lipstick. She's not going to cry, she can't. She has to be strong for Regina because her friend is going to break when she finds out. This is what worries Mal the most. Seeing Regina's heart break once again. And this time it won't be something she can fix. The damn war has brought too much loss and suffering into the world and if she could, she'd stop it in a heartbeat.

From the inside, the blonde can hear Regina's laugh echoing through the hospital halls. Should she wait until tonight, wait for the right moment? Is it fair to keep this from her? No, Mal decides. There's no such thing as the 'right moment' to deliver news like this, and there never will be.

Taking a deep breath, Mal folds the telegram and is ready to head back inside when she's stopped by the squeaking brakes of a bicycle approaching. God, please don't let it be another telegram boy.

It's not. Mal stares down the hospital steps in surprise as she sees Mary Margaret getting off her bike, little Neal wrapped tightly around her front, held by a long scarf. She can't see whether he's awake or sleeping but what she does see, is Mary Margaret's devastated and slightly disturbed look. She sees the puffy red eyes and the hesitation, as she parks her bike and pats baby Neal's back in a comforting way.

"Mal." Her eyes fall on the telegram and then meet the blonde's. She knows.

"How?" Mal whispers.

"David's letter," the brunette chokes out, eyes brimming again with tears. "I'm… I'm so sorry. I… I wanted to… I didn't know how. Does she… Does Regina know?"

Mal shakes her head, sizing up Mary Margaret. She's known since yesterday and hasn't said anything. No wonder she'd left work in a hurry and called in sick this morning. A hint of anger flares up inside Mal.

"Why did you not come to me?"

"I… I was so shocked, I didn't know what to say," Mary Margaret apologizes sincerely.

"Then why come now?"

"Because she deserves to know and read the letter herself."

Mal shakes her head. "I don't think she should hear it from you of all people, Mary."

Mary Margaret's face falls and this time, tears start to drop down her cheeks. "It's not my fault," the brunette whispers.

"I know. But you have everything she is never going to have. You have a child, you have the support of your family and your husband is still alive. Regina is left with nothing now." Mal knows it's not fair to accuse Mary Margaret of something so very far out of her control. The girl isn't God, isn't responsible for the war and doesn't decide who lives or dies. It's the anger talking she knows, and hopes Mary Margaret does, too. Right now though, having Mary Margaret there when she has to tell Regina that Robin is dead is not a good idea. Like rubbing salt into a wound.

Mary Margaret wipes her tears away. Wordlessly, she hands Mal David's letter and turns around to leave.

It's time. Time to face Regina.

Mal heads inside and is immediately glad nobody approaches her. She's built up a bit of a reputation, especially since she became head nurse. The newbies call her a dragon; the others who have been with her since the beginning have nothing but respect and admiration for her. The only one who ever dares to speak up to her is Regina.

Three of the younger nurses, as well as Regina, are preparing the ward for the wounded soldiers. When Mal walks in, it only takes one nod of her head to get the new girls to leave. They scatter away like birds hunted by a cat, leaving Regina behind, who has just finished putting clean linens on the last bed. She smiles as she sees her friend sit down on the bed next to her.

"We're just done here. I want to head over to the west wing to check up on… What's wrong?"

"I think you should sit down, Regina."

Regina looks irritated but sits down opposite her. One hand is nervously playing with the buttons of her uniform. Mal doesn't know how to start, wonders if there's an easy way to do this. As the head nurse, she's had to deliver the news of a relative dying to family members before, but this is different. This is her friend.

"Mal, what's going on? You're… scaring me a little bit to be honest."

The blonde takes a deep breath, pulling the neatly folded telegram out of her pocket. "I received this telegram for you earlier. Robin, he… I… I'm so sorry, Regina."

Regina stares at the piece of paper Mal is holding out toward her, hands now clasped together. She doesn't take it. The vein on her forehead is pounding, eyebrows drawn into a frown, before she slowly, very slowly starts shaking her head.

"This… Why would you… You're crazy, Mal." She gets up, hands pressed into her sides. Her mouth is dry. "No, this is crazy. This is really not a thing to make jokes about."

"Regina."

"No. NO! No, Mal. He promised. Robin promised me he wouldn't." She's shaking now, shaking so badly she needs to sit back down on the bed, one hand pressed against her mouth. Denial. "Before he left, he promised me, Mal!" Regina almost screams at her hysterically.

Her eyes are fixed on the telegram Mal is still holding out toward her, waiting for her to take it and read it. She is still shaking her head, her face is as white as the crisp linen she's sitting on, and there is so much fear in her eyes it takes everything for Mal not to cry.

"It says he was killed in action on July 25 over the Channel after they bombed Hamburg." The telegram doesn't say this, not exactly. But she's heard the news on the radio, has read the articles in the paper about the Allies destroying her beloved childhood home. The dates match up. "I'm so sorry, Regina."

"You're lying. Give it to me!" Regina screams, snatching the telegram away from her before she opens it with shaking hands. "It can't be. It just can't. This is a mistake!"

"This is why you have to promise me you'll come back, Robin. For me. For us."

It's a promise he may not be able to keep, but he makes it anyway. "I promise I will come back to you. God, I love you so much, Regina. I love you more than anything in this world, I need you to know that."

"I do," Regina whispers, new tears shining in her eyes.

She pulls him back down to kiss him once again with everything she has, knowing full well that come Sunday, despite his promises, she might never see her husband again. Still, there is hope. He's promised her after all.

Her eyes are glued to the telegram as she reads the words over and over and over and over.

Officially reported as killed in action.

Officially reported as killed in action.

Officially reported as killed in action.

Regina's world turns from a bright spectrum of colors into the black and white letters of the telegram. Dead. Killed. Dead. Killed in action. Gone. Not coming back. Even though he promised.

Regina doubles over and throws up into one of the buckets they always keep between the beds. Mal is next to her within a second, rubbing her back as her friend chokes and retches and sobs. There's nothing she can say to Regina to make the pain go away.

The war has taken everything from her. She has nothing left. First her child, then her father, now her husband. Nothing is left, nothing but tears.