Heart of Ice Chapter 1, a yuri!!! on ice fanfic

Heart of Ice

Chapter 1

Yuri Katsuki lifted his fists into the air, breaking his ending pose, and cried out in triumph. The roar of the stadium was deafening. Tears blinded his eyes, and all he could think was, 'I did it! I did it!'

Oh God…. I….I did it…

He could feel the tears streaming down his face, but didn't care. Yuri squeezed his eyes shut, and bowed his head. He gasped for air, and thought of every moment of heartbreak, depression, hope, insecurity, and desperate love. He was transformed. A new creature that was both terrifying and beautiful.

Victor had waltzed into his life ,and shattered his fragile glass cocoon. He had stretched Yuri's wings out through every training session, delighting in the new emotions that Yuri would bear to him and him only. Yuri died a little every day, but was also reborn into something more wonderful than before!

And it was all because of Victor.

Yuri had almost suffocated with depression, and then like a God, Victor came and saved him. Before Victor, Yuri felt like a nobody. Yuri could find nothing good about himself, only that he was a fat, depressed, loser who choked on self-doubt and crippling insecurities. Tonight, however, Yuri had lost all sense of self control on that ice, he had let all his love for Victor possess him- he was dominated by it and submitted willingly!

Finally Yuri raised his head and smiled for the first time with a new kind emotion. 'I AM worthy of him…I'm finally worthy!' Yuri thought, feeling breathless, 'I was wrong to release him from being my coach. I WAS being selfish and stupid. Victor was right…my place is by his side, always'

'Victor! I have to find Victor!'. He bowed weakly to the audience who were still roaring his name and clapping madly. Wrought with utter exhaustion, his legs wobbled beneath him but he managed to make it to the edge of the rink, fully expecting Victor to be there with his arms opened wide….

But he wasn't.

Yuri looked around frantically as people came slap his back and shake his hand. Piles of flowers and gifts filled his arms. Yuri twisted his head this way and that ,searching for those icy blue eyes and sliver hair.

"Victor!" Yuri shouted over the masses, "Victor!"

"HEY Pork Cutlet Bowl!" Yuri jerked his head to his right only to find Yurio shoving him towards the opposite direction "Get your ass over to the damn kiss and cry! Your scores are about to be announced!"

There was no malice in Yurio's voice, in fact the fifteen year old sounded almost proud…and annoyed.

"Where's Victor?!" Yuri shouted over the crowd, excitedly" I have to find him!"

The blond rolled his eyes and huffed impatiently.

"How the hell should I know where that geezer is? Just get to the booth, he's probably already there, idiot!" again Yurio shoved Yuri towards the booth.

He grabbed his rubber skate guards, and popped them on as fast as he could, and ran towards the kiss and cry.

"Good luck pig!" Yurio shouted as Yuri smiled back at him.

His heart pounded in his chest. Something wasn't right, where was Victor?! He had just completed the best performance of his skating career. His heart had been filled with nothing but Eros…but where was Victor?

Finally he made it to the kiss and cry, but Victor wasn't there. Yuri became nervous now and sat down holding the pile of red roses he had been given tightly to his chest. His eyes searched and searched. Through the thick crowd, but still nothing.

"Ladies and gentlemen tonight we witnessed something completely new and groundbreaking from our underdog, Yuri Katsuki. It was only a year ago that Katsuki, having flopped all quads and falling dead last, had everyone under the impression that his performance in Sochi was to be his last. There was no way anyone thought he could make such a powerful comeback, and with his performance of Eros tonight there can be no doubt that he set a new standard to skating!"

"That's absolutely right, and if we look at the replay we can see just how much emotion he put into perfecting his form, making for a breathtaking performance. I can only imagine what the 23 year old skater is feeling at this very moment, but one this is for sure- in years to come we'll all look back at this performance as one that will go down in skating history! We can only imagine what his coach, Victor Nikiforov must also be feeling at this moment. The student finally surpassing his teacher! "

"Any moment now his scores will be announced, it seems to be taking longer than usual, although that comes as no surprise."

"But where is his coach? Having taken the season off, after five consecutive gold medals, Victor Nikiferov did the impossible to get his skater to this point.. Now we see Yuri Katsuki not only a shoe in for the podium, but also without his coach."

"He definitely looks as surprised as we are , but of course he just finished a piece that would make any coach proud. Wait….yes, the judges are ready to announce his scores! Ladies and gentlemen lets listen in to the results…"

Then there was silence. Utter silence.

Yuri sat staring at the screen before him. He blinked once, twice, three times….but no…that CAN'T be right….

"LADIES AND GENTLEMEN YURI KATSUKI REPRESENTING JAPAN, HAS JUST BROKEN THE WORLD RECORD SCORE, EARNING A TOTAL OF 366.15! YOU SAW IT HERE FIRST EVERYONE! YURI KATSUKI IS NOW IN THE LEAD FOR THE GOLD BY A LANDSLIDE! TODAY HISTORY HAS BEEN MADE!"

All around Yuri the flashes if cameras and reporters swarmed him. The audience screamed his name, the applause was deafening, yet despite that Yuri couldn't move. He stared at the glowing screen at his numbers until even those blurred. The ringing in his ears left him deaf and blind to his surroundings.

Suddenly someone had come to shake him.

"Yuri!" someone was yelling, shaking him by his shoulders "Yuri! Are you alright?"

Yuri blinked, realizing tears were streaming down his expressionless face.

It was Chris.

"Hello Chris." Yuri found himself saying without thought "How are you?"

"What? Yuri your in first place! How are you?" Chris looked worried as he gave Yuri another shake "what's wrong?"

Then his surroundings came back into focus and Yuri looked around frantically.

"Where's Victor?! Have you seen him?" Yuri panicked, shoving Chris aside "Where is he?! VICTOR!"

"Last I saw him he vas talking to his old coach, Yukov or something-"

Bending over, Yuri unlaced his skates as fast as he could, throwing them aside along with the roses he still held. He darted past the reporters and cameras clad in only his socks and his firm fitting skating piece. Around him cane a whirlwind of enthusiastic clapping and cheers, but Yuri didn't care.

Something is wrong. Very wrong.

"VICTOR!" he shouted again, and again, and again…

The fanfare was more than Yuri could take at the moment, and though he just achieved what no one, not even himself thought possible all he could think of was Victor.

Suddenly Yuri was grabbed roughly by his upper arm as someone dragged him towards the back stage waiting area where there was no one in sight.

Yuri's breathing hitched as he realized who was it that had dragged him off.

"Coach Yukov!" Yuri gasped , turning to latch into the older man "Victor where is he? Chris said he was with you."

"Who? ..Oh the Swedish blond. Yes, well," Yukov cleared his throat, clapping a large hard hand on Yuri's shoulder "Congratulations on your score. You must be proud. Plisetsky is up next. I have high hopes for him, but you've made this a challenge. One I hope he can-"

"Where is he?..."

Yukov sighed shaking his head, then turning his hard eyes on Yuri.

" He came to me as your performance ended. He was struck in a way I had never seen him. The motivation I thought he had lost over the past year suddenly took hold of him….watching your performance put him under a sort of spell I suppose you can say."

Yuri furrowed his brow, not understanding.

" He told me he was going back to Russia. I suppose I should thank you for that, I feared he would never return."

Yuri froze, his blood turning to ice. No, that can't be right. Victor promised to stay by my side! Was it what I said last night? Is he angry at me? No, he wouldn't just up and leave me like that. Victor wasn't the sort of person who could do that!

" Your lying…" Yuri whispered, he started to shake.

Yukov sighed and shook his head.

" Victor is done playing coach. Now that he has made you worthy of him, he us ready to compete again. You've come such a long way, my boy, you should be proud-"

"YOUR LYING!"Yuri screamed, the hysteria was building up to a peak. "Victor would NEVER leave as you say he did! Victor promised-"

"and what of his promises!? For as long as I can remember Victor has been motivated by one thing and one thing only, winning. Perhaps you are another win to him. Did you think those shameful displays you two put on actually meant something? THINK BOY! He is Russian, he is a champion for the motherland! Russia is not Japan, and the sort of thing you two were playing at just isn't done or natural where we come from. People are imprisoned and publicly tortured for displaying such affection for another man ….. Never the less, What I say is true. Absolutely. I have no reason to say otherwise. He was like a madman, grabbing me by my coat and begging to come back,and that I may be his coach again." Yukov said harshly and without regard to the meltdown Yuri was experiencing. "personality, I don't think his head was right, he was a man who looked possessed after your performance. Now if you will excuse me Plisetsky is up next and I cannot afford to waste my time coddling you. If you wish to speak with Victor, why not call him?"

Yukov sidestepped Yuri unaware of the younger blond Yuri hiding in the shadows with his hood pulled up, and listening to every word.

Yuri was rooted to the spot. He could hear the announcers muffled voice, he could hear the crowds cheering, he could feel the cold concrete floor beneath him, but felt nothing.

Slowly, agonizingly so, Yuri walked back towards the locker rooms. He retrieved his things, pulled on his shoes and coat and walked out of the stadium with his face mask drawn up over his nose and mouth. When he got outside he could still hear the roar of the people within.

Yurio must be performing now, he thought, taking his phone from his jacket pocket.

He hit the dial button and up popped a picture of Victor and Yuri that Phichit took while they were in Barcelona. Both wearing the gold luck charms that Yuri had bought for them. Victor had said they were engagement rings and that they would be married after he won the gold….he stared down at his own ring as he waited for Victor to pick up.

This is Victor Nikiforov, I'm currently away from the phone right now, provably in some compromising position with my katsudon- oh come on its adorable Yuri! Oh yeah- leave me a message and I'll get back to you soon!

Beep*

Again

Beep*

Again and again and again Yuri dialed, walking away from the stadium, away from the podium, away from all he worked so hard for. He was numb. The last time he was here Yuri felt nothing but crippling depression, but now?...

It was as if someone had opened his chest, tore out his emotions, and filled him up with ice. His breathing was shallow and thin.

When he walked far enough away from the stadium Yuri raised his hand to signal for a cab. Surely Victor was back at the hotel, even if what Yukov said was true, Victor had to still be there.

A cab pulled up and Yuri slid in, still wearing his black form fitting skating outfit beneath his jacket. Some strands of black hair began falling over his eyes, but he didn't seem to notice. The driver gave him a strange look before asking where he should go. Yuri handed him his credit card and told him the nearest airport.

Even if hes already there, maybe I could catch him….

Meanwhile Yuri sent text after text to Victor hoping for some answer, any answer.

[Victor?]

[Have I done something wrong?...are you punishing me?]

[Victor?]

[Please, talk to me]

[Just tell me what I did! PLEASE VICTOR! PLEASE!]

[Is it about what I said last night? I'm so sorry. I was wrong to release you from being my coach! I was so wrong, Victor.]

[You can punish me however you want, just please say something!]

[Victor please]

[I'll do anything]

[Don't leave me…please]

[…I love you, Victor]

[Please don't leave me alone.]

Little did Yuri know that Victor was already on a private jet headed to Russia. He was bent over scribbling frantically, swaying to the music blasting in his earbuds unaware of anything else around him. His phone lit up multiple times, but he was too distracted to see the messages that filled his inbox. He could feel himself reverting back to his old ways. His focus was all consuming.

All he could see was that last performance. The way his body moved to Eros, the way he transformed himself into the God of live himself! He was Victors finest creation….

He…..

h…

Victor's hand stiffened. His whole body suddenly shot up out of his seat, dropping everything he was doing.

"Oh God, no." Victor breathed in horror. His pen dropped with a sharp thud. His stomach knotted so terribly that he thought he might become sick. "no,no,no!"

Victor plastered himself against the window, but it was too late. He was thousands of miles above the earth and far away from the man he loved.

"YURI!"

A/N. Thanks for reading! More drama to come!