BOB'S BURGERS

JUST A REGULAR SIZE

WRITTEN BY ZARIUS

Louise gathered up the remaining dabs of meat from the service bar where Teddy had digested his final burger of the day before heading off. She waxed the table with a bit of spit planted on the white tablecloth and smirked at her brash and bold reflection in the puddle she'd made.

As she tended to some tables, she noticed a rather pale and near-miniscule car approaching outside. Her face lit up as she saw Regular Size Rudy emerge, waving goodbye to someone inside.

Louise came out of the restaurant to greet him.

"Hey little buddy, fancy ride you got there" she sarcastically noted.

"Thanks" Rudy replied, his innocence blinding him to the cynicism from his best friend.

"She like your latest 'other mommy' or something?" Louise asked, making note that the driver of the car was female.

"No, she works in care. Dad thought I needed someone to keep me company after school, this was a getting-to-know you day out for the two of us " Rudy replied.

"Hey, that's what I'm for. Don't give me competition"

"I don't mean it like that, he just wants me to have opportunities" Rudy replied.

"What kind of opportunities?" Louise asked

"She knows people...big league players in the pro wrestling world , she's cousins with one of them and she wants me to do research on them so I can front questions to that person"

"An interview with a male ballet dancer?"

"Hey, it's not ballet, testosterone is involved in a lot of it"

"It's a co-ordinated dance-off between two partners, only it's not hearts they break at the end of it, it's everything else" Louise replied.

"The angles are staged, the pain is very real. I have to keep that in mind when respecting his trade" Rudy continued.

"You really don't sound like you want to do this"

"Journalism's not my area, managing to breath every day is" Rudy revealed.

"You've got a golden ticket to how the mind plays with the muscle, why pass it up?"

"Because I'd much rather tell them what I'd do with their muscles, I'd like to book angles for them, work behind the scenes one day...when I'm good and ready, when I'm good and ready"

"You're not in a rush to grow up like me , I get that, but preparing for this stuff early will give you a lot of perks, the 'teens don't have to be so terrible you know?" Louise said

"I've tried stating my case to my dad when he went over this with me and when he met up with the rest of the programme handlers earlier in the week. It's as if they're more concerned over what kind of angle I can give them in the event they interview me for some review programme they can send to other communities, it's all about what I can put on their C.V"

"I don't think they're using you Rudy, I just think they see the potential in you, the way I look into those wide and wise eyes of yours and I see all the creativity one can cradle"

"You're rarely a hugger" said Rudy.

"It's a premium package deal. Cope with enough of what I give you and you'll get there eventually" Louise remarked, and leaned over to plant a comforting kiss on Rudy's lips.

"Thanks Louise, everyone is so obsessed with making me their project, they forget all I want at this point in time is a pal"

"A pal is an ongoing project, you just need the right supervisor, and I'm always the right gal for that" Louise remarked.

As Rudy waved goodbye and headed home, Louise went back into the restaurant and stared back at herself in the spotless sheen of spit glistening on the diner bar.

"The bigger his footprints get in this world, he still aims to be just a regular size where it counts" Louise said to herself, pointing to her head and heart, slightly envious, but largely proud.