CHAPTER 1

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Oikawa takes a breath. One step, two steps, and he's sprinting across the vast expanse of the shiny gymnasium floor. His expensive sports shoes (a sharp contrast to most of the other third-year's school issued sneakers) squeak against polished wood, and he lifted his arms and began to jump, dominant hand raised.

In the background, faintly, he can hear the tell-tale cheers from what he supposes is his 'fan-base'. Today, there were a group of five or so girls, all clustered together by the seats. Their numbers had diminished since Oikawa had gotten a girlfriend, which he supposed he was grateful for. They could be distracting at times, even though he was fairly used to a loud environment while playing volleyball. Nobody was quiet at games, after all. But ten or twenty plus girls, all yelling for your attention while you're trying to perfect a toss at third tempo can be annoying. Not that he's thinking about specifics or anything.

He hits the ball. It misses the water bottle by around twenty centimetres, but that's what practise was for. Oikawa twisted his face into an overstated expression of disappointment, for the crowd. They make saddened noises, but urge him to try again. He shrugs, then strikes his signature expression (tongue stuck out, right eye shut, left hand in a peace sign) and picks up another ball.

He hopes that Iwaizumi wasn't watching him. The spectacle that he was putting on today was exaggerated almost to the point of hysteria. And Iwaizumi always picked up on when he wasn't being genuine, and he always moaned about it. Iwa-chan's always telling him to express his emotions, even if they were unpleasant. Oikawa responds with a biting comment, usually saying something along the lines of that being the reason that Iwaizumi didn't have a girlfriend. Which, you know. Was probably true. Iwaizumi tended to be honest with his words and with his feelings, which put off a lot of people.

Iwa-chan didn't understand that playing pretend was a part of life. Everybody did it. They put on a nice smile and act polite, because that's what you were supposed to do. Iwaizumi said that he would never do that, but he probably would learn to suck up to people when he got a job. To customers, his boss, and probably co-workers too.

Stupid Iwa-chan.

Oikawau didn't understand how he could do it and be so confident about it. Iwaizumi had always been so popular, just for being who he is. Not like Oikawa, who was ignored the first half of grade school and picked on for the second half. Oikawa had to learn how to fit in, he had to learn to mould the pieces of his personality that people actually liked and shove the rest of his personality deep inside of himself. It worked for the most part, come junior high about every girl in the school had a crush on him (which might have had a lot to do with puberty, now that he thought about it) and now, in high school they came to watch the volleyball team practise just for him. Sure, most of the team knew what he was actually like, the embarrassing stuff like his obsession with space and Star Wars, as well as anything else that Iwaizumi told them. They knew what he was like, and that was probably why they thought he was annoying.

Which was fair. Oikawa was incredibly annoying, and proud of it. Sometimes he made an active attempt just to piss off his teammates, in fact. It was fun to see their faces.

They didn't know everything, though. Iwaizumi almost did. Iwa-chan knew almost everything Tooru thought about anything, as he was happy to vocalise whatever he was thinking. But not quite everything.

It was third year of junior high was when it happened. The first thing that Oikawa had ever kept from his best friend.

It had started out with a comment from a classmate. Just one word, not even intended for Oikawa to hear, but that word turned Oikawa's life around, in a way.

It must have been during break-time. Oikaway doesn't remember what the weather was like, whether it was recess time or lunchtime, or what day of the week it was. But he remembers fooling around with Iwa-chan, getting on each other's nerves by yanking hair and tugging clothes. They weren't children anymore, not really. Oikawa's features had flattened out, defined facial structure where there was once baby fat, and Iwa-chan had grown into himself, his once gangly and awkward limbs finally beginning to round out into a more muscular form.

They still weren't really mature at heart, though. They didn't realise the implications that straddling each other meant, and they didn't consider what their classmates might think about them.

Iwaizumi didn't seem to hear it, but Tooru did. Takeo-kun had watched them for a moment, then snickered, leant into his friends, and whispered, "fags." Oikawa had stilled, uneasy. He had heard that word before. It was another word for 'gay', which was synonymous with 'weak', 'gross', and 'girly'. Oikawa didn't want anyone to think that he or Iwa-chan were gay. He had seen what had happened to Kanda, a more feminine looking boy. If anyone thought that you were gay, that meant that you had your shoes stolen and were pushed when the teachers weren't looking. Oikawa had gotten off Iwaizumi, and sat next to him instead.

Being called a horrible name was just a small contributor into the whole, actual scheme. It got him thinking. Why were he and Iwa-chan so affectionate and close? Sure, they had been fighting on that day, but for the most part they were happy to lean on each other, and sleep on the same bed, and being near each other. Oikawa didn't see any other boys do that with their friends. He saw couples on TV (one boy and one girl, always) that acted the same way that he and Iwa-chan did around each other, minus kissing and holding hands. Oikawa certainly didn't act the same way around his other friends.

That was what got him thinking, did he like Iwa-chan in that way? Tooru did his research. He borrowed his mum's phone and used the internet to google inane things like "how to tell if you have crush on best friend" and "am i gay". It was a startling time for Tooru. He realised that maybe his feelings for Iwaizumi were something more than friendship. He realised that he had a crush on Iwa-chan. Maybe he was even in love with him.
He had cried. He didn't want to be gay. He wanted to be best friend with Iwa-chan, and at the same time he would date a really pretty girl and Iwa-chan would date a slightly less pretty girl, just so Tooru could brag about having a better-looking girlfriend. (He was fourteen at the time.) He didn't want to kiss Iwaizumi, or hold Iwaizumi's hand (even though he really, really did). He wanted to be normal. Nobody that he knew or saw on television dated other boys. Boys that wanted to were called mean names and had their shoes stolen.

Oikawa hated that for a while. But, after a while, he accepted it. He was in love with Hajime Iwaizumi. He would keep that to his damn self, though. Even though a thought had crossed his mind, a thought that maybe Iwa-chan felt the same way he did – after all, they had both done things that Takeo-kun had thought made them gay. So there was a possibility that Iwa-chan liked him back.

Oikawa had done some planning, to try and figure out if Iwaizumi liked him. He wouldn't make a traditional confession, one that the girls made to Tooru – there was a risk of rejection. Instead, he decided to sneakily make his move in a subtler manner. Or at least, as subtle as you could get when you were Oikawa Tooru.

It happened when they were fifteen years old, now first years in high school. Oikawa was already a regular on the volleyball team, although Iwaizumi wasn't yet. Iwa-chan and Oikawa were still best friends, that much had been unchanging and unwavering since they were six years old. Hopefully the tradition would continue until they were much older.

"Iwa-chan, what do you think about Ai-chan?" He had brought up one day.

"I don't think a whole lot about Ai-chan, Oikawa," came Iwaizumi's reply.

"Oh?" Tooru leaned forward, an interested expression on his face. "Why not? She's one of the prettiest girls in school."

"I suppose… Why are you asking me this?"

Oikawa floundered. "Ah, well, Kimi-chan came to me and said that Ai-chan was thinking about confessing to me. I was thinking that maybe I would go out with her. What do you think?"

"I think that Kimi-chan should learn to keep her mouth shut. Ai-chan will be pretty embarrassed if she hears that she told you."

"Iwa-chan! That's not what I'm talking about. What do you think of Ai?" He pressed.

"Well," Iwaizumi's eyes flicked over to Oikawa. "She seems nice. And pretty, like you said. You should date her. I know I would, if she asked me."

I know I would.

Tooru leaned back, a mirthful expression on his face. Tried to pretend that his throat hadn't tightened, that his heart wasn't clenched in his chest. "Yeah," he said softly. "I don't know if I will, though."

"Dumbass. Why'd you ask me all that then, if you were just going to reject her anyway?" Tooru hummed, then changed the subject.

Sure, Iwa-chan had never officially rejected him. He had never said that he liked girls, only girls. Maybe he had just been encouraging Oikawa to go out with someone, for once. Either way, it didn't seem that Iwa-chan liked him.

Oikawa didn't push his feelings down. That didn't seem healthy. No, he indulged himself sometimes, pressing a hand into the small of Iwaizumi's back, messing with his hair just to have an excuse to run his hand through Iwaizumi's locks. For around two years, Oikawa didn't deny his feelings for Iwaizumi, but he didn't act on them. It was just two years of pining and unrequited love.

Until, one day, he decided. Oikawa had to get over his stupid crush on Iwaizumi.

He wasn't sure why it was that day in particular. Why he woke up and decided that. Oikawa had had plenty of confessions, from girls of all sorts. But he chose that day as the day where he would get over Iwa-chan and date a girl instead. He would have gone out with the first girl who asked him, they just had to get their timing right. Maybe it was fate that, come lunch, a second year approached him, blushing down to her knees, and confessed to him. Really, he would have gone out with any girl if their timing had been right.

Perhaps if he'd considered it a bit more. He probably wouldn't have chosen her – after all, she was a second year. Or maybe he would have? A lot of people said that they were perfect for each other.

And she was perfect, for a while. Almost his type. She was on the girls' volleyball team (wing spiker) which meant that she understood all the pressures that came with the sport and wouldn't break up with him over it. She loved volleyball as much as Oikawa did. Her blood type was AB and she worked part-time at a bakery and treated him to leftover pastries and milk-bread whenever she could.

Her name was Setsu Ruika, and she blushed when she told Oikawa to call her "Ruika-chan, or just Rui, if you like." Oikawa calls her Setsu.
They date for three months before it happens.

Oikawa wiped the sweat from his brow, approaching a nearby bench. Training would be over in twenty odd minutes, but he feigned thirst so he could get in a quick rest.

Mastukawa grins at him from on the bench, handing him a water bottle.

"Ah, thanks," Oikawa stops halfway through lifting the bottle to his lips. "Hmm, I don't know whether I trust this. Mattsun has a funny look on his face."

Matsukawa snickered, "you're too untrusting, captain. I would never do anything unsavoury towards you."

Oikawa narrowed his eyes, turning the bottle around to inspect it. He grimaced when he caught the sight of a long scratch mark on his wrist, and hurriedly yanked up his wrist band. "You know, I wasn't even that thirsty to begin with."