Barbara did not keep wine or any alcohol that wasn't for medical purposes in the house after her one regrettable binge four years ago, when James first left. She wasn't a heavy drinker in any way – she hardly even drank socially – but when everything became overwhelming the temptation to just let all her worries float down a river of wine was mighty strong.

And hot damn was it powerful now.

Trolls.

So trolls were a thing.

Her son had twenty stitches in his leg because of trolls and they all wanted him and her to visit them in their magical troll-land with swords and trolls and it already sounded like an alcohol-induced dream, except that she was distinctly and distressingly sober.

It had taken a long time to get Jim to go to bed, even though he was tired after a long night and day being poked and prodded at the hospital. But Barbara needed to speak with her three visitors, and she wanted to do it without her young son listening.

The three trolls were quietly murmuring to themselves when she came back downstairs, some of her furniture shifted and the curtains drawn over every window. The biggest one noticed her, but didn't give away that she was watching them, and she observed for a minute, taking in their differing physiologies and personalities.

Kanjigar, it was clear, did not want any part of this, but he looked like he was duty-bound to go along anyway. Barbara wasn't sure what his part was – was he a bodyguard? A soldier? Who else would parade around in a glowing suit of armor? He deferred to Blinky at the moment but Barbara had the notion that he was only doing so out of respect for the other troll, especially since Blinky had introduced him as 'Master' Kanjigar.

The big one, the behemoth AAARRRGGHH, was the one who put Barbara the most at ease, once they had finally all simmered down enough to give him a proper introduction. He'd knocked into the bookshelf and hit his head against the ceiling more than once, but his huge hand was gentle on Blinky's shoulder and he smiled with his whole face. Barbara wasn't sure about his unusual speech – possibly a head injury, possibly just difficulty with a second language. He'd had the least to say, but he gave off the warmest presence.

But Blinky, now.

Blinky seemed the most concerned about Jim's wellbeing, but he had also chosen to take her son in secret into a dangerous troll population without thinking about the possible consequences. Jim clearly adored the troll, but for someone with so many eyes he was a bit of a blind idiot.

But he had taken responsibility for his actions, and seemed relieved at not having to keep himself and his companions a secret from Barbara. She knew that he had put himself in danger of punishment in keeping his friendship with Jim, and he had been prepared to accept her conditions as well as respect the possibly of her banishing him forever from visiting Jim. Out of the three trolls, Barbara felt that her son was safest around Blinky.

But that didn't mean that she actually trusted any of them with her son.

Barbara marched up to the group, which separated when she approached. She ignored Kanjigar and AAARRRGGHH's huge mass, and stopped mere inches away from Blinky, who leaned back to avoid the finger she stabbed at his face.

"If my son ever gets hurt on your watch again, you can be sure that I will learn everything about troll anatomy and use it against you. I've already identified four easy targets on your body and I will hit every one of them."

Barbara had to stalk forward as Blinky stepped backward.

"I assure you, you vicious harpy, violence is unnecessary! I wish no more for any harm to come to young Jim than you do!"

"And I would appreciate it if you would stop threatening my trolls," said Kanjigar dryly. "Their safety is my duty, and I will protect them from you if I have to."

I've got two possible targets on you, Barbara thought viciously, picking out his exposed eyes and unarmored groin, though she was reluctant to say it out loud. He did, after all, have a sword strapped to his back, and she was only beginning her krav maga classes.

She turned away from him, unable to think of anything civil to say. His protective abilities were seriously overestimated if he thought that putting a nine-year-old in an armory was a solid idea.

"Your restraint and understanding, as it is, is admirable," murmured Blinky when she looked back at him. "After what you have discovered this evening, I am admittedly surprised that you have not, as you humans say, 'given us the boot'."

Barbara smiled ruefully and gently squeezed between him and Blinky.

"Let me make you a cup of tea," she said. "Make yourselves comfortable, because we need to talk."

As she puttered around the kitchen she watched the trolls from under her lashes. AAARRRGGHH pushed her table and chairs out of the way so that he could settle comfortably on the floor, while Blinky sat down in the armchair. Given that he had apparently spent the whole day in the house, Barbara wasn't surprised that he was the most comfortable.

Kanjigar didn't sit, but stood near the wall, occasionally walking around the room, looking at her books and the photographs in the hallway.

She put four cups of tea on a tray and marched into the living room, passing the cups to everyone before sitting down on the couch, closest to Blinky. Kanjigar looked like he wasn't sure what to do with the miniscule teacup in his gigantic gloves, while AAARRRGGHH promptly ate his, saucer and all. Blinky sipped on his like a normal person, and she gestured for him to begin negotiations.

Of all the things Barbara imagined she'd go through in her divorce, she never thought she'd be arranging visitation rights for a troll.

There was a sudden BUMP against the floor above them, and Barbara stamped her foot.

"James Lake Jr, go back to bed this instant!"
A quick, one-legged hop echoed through the ceiling, and Jim's bedroom door shut. Kanjigar chuckled quietly.

"I can see why you like the boy, Blinkous."
The six-eyed troll grinned.

"He does grow on a person. After even a day, I would consider him a good friend."

It was difficult to say whether or not the human woman thought that that was a good thing. Her face was surprisingly difficult to read at times, although Kanjigar admittedly had not spent enough time in the company of humans so as to learn how to read them.

He knew that she was distrustful and he could not blame her. He could imagine what the situation looked like under her eyes: three enormous monsters, leading her son into danger. If the roles were reversed, and Draal were the one in danger, he would…

…do nothing, as he had sworn to do. His son could not rely on him, and he had made it that way deliberately. Sooner or later, Bular would end up killing him, and he couldn't risk Draal coming to the same end because of his father's duty.

But Jim was a small child, son to a human woman who did not bear the responsibility of protecting her entire people.

…Or did she?

Kanjigar realized suddenly that having a human acquaintance could be incredibly useful; she could go where he could not. She could keep an eye out for Changeling activity. She could be the key to getting a leg up on Bular.

Suddenly the idea of making friends with this human wasn't nearly as bad.

This could also make her and her son's introduction to Trollmarket significantly less difficult, if they spun it to Vendel that she was his new contact. But one thing had to be done first.

Kanjigar drew another gaggletack out of his pocket, to Blinky's indignant cry.

"Lady Barabara, would you mind holding onto this for a moment – "

"Master Kanjigar!"

The gaggletack did nothing, but it was his job to check. He hadn't told anyone about the Changelings in Arcadia yet, to avoid a panic, but it was a constant concern for him. He wasn't sure who exactly to trust anymore, and he couldn't just smack every troll in the Heartstone with a gaggletack, not if he wanted to keep everyone calm for now.

But it did ease his mind to make sure that Jim and his mother were completely human.

The human woman waved the gaggletack around for a moment, and Kanjigar was suddenly very aware that he had just handed a violent woman a heavy piece of iron. He took it back before she felt the urge to use it.

"What was that for?"
Blinky chuckled nervously.

"Oh, heh, that. Is. Just a simple troll custom," he said quickly, "a left-over from the tenth century, where trolls would hand a horseshoe to a new acquaintance as a gesture of sharing the luck of the household – "
"Forgot that bit," AAARRRGGHH muttered with a grin, earning a thrown glare from Blinky.

"It is a totem," Kanjigar said. "It ensures that you are not a Changeling, the specifics of which I will go into on another night. For now, I believe we are overdue in Trollmarket."

It couldn't be past midnight, but he was eager to go on patrol and the longer they stayed out, the harder it would be to get AAARRRGGHH and Blinky back into Trollmarket without drawing the attention of Bular.

"Well, you're welcome to leave," said Barbara, standing impatiently. "But I'm not finished with Blinky."

The troll in question looked rather unhappy at the notion of being the singular point of the woman's attention, and Kanjigar wasn't happy himself with her continued control of the conversation. But he wasn't ready to reveal to Barbara why the night was dangerous, not yet. She needed time to process, and to simmer her temper. He would visit her another evening, and tell her his proposition.

"I am unsure what else to say," Blinky admit. "Our continued friendship with Jim is at your prerogative. But may I suggest: we do not limit the relationship to just the whelp? Though my face still hurts from your previous assault, you have proven to not just be swift of arm but of wit as well. Our friendship with Jim does not have to come with the exclusion of his mother."
Barbara smiled softly, and Kanjigar knew that she was struck. Blinky's gentle manner and quiet sincerity had charmed many a violent heart, as evidenced by the behemoth sitting beside him.

"Both of us care about Jim," he continued gently. "He is all the better for our cooperation and friendship."
Just on the edge of hearing, there was another muffled thud on the floor above, followed by a quiet 'ow'.

Both Barbara and Blinky were up in an instant. Blinky was closest to the stairs but Barbara's long legs overstepped him, and he was forced to stomp after her. Kanjigar didn't follow for a moment, but looked over at AAARRRGGHH, who happily munched on Barbara's wooden tray now that she couldn't see.

"What are your thoughts on this, old friend?"

AAARRRGGHH examined the dwelling with practiced eyes, his ears pricked to the concerned conversation upstairs.
"Blinky never wanted kids," he said. Kanjigar narrowed his eyes. Even after centuries of knowing the two, he still wasn't quite sure what exactly their relationship entailed. They were unusually close, even for the closest of friends, but he had never seen anything that definitely indicated something other. Certainly nothing that would have precluded the desire to raise a child together, although – if either troll were to do so, Kanjigar could never envision one doing so without the other.

"Likes Jim. If Blinky wants family, Jim family."

He struggled for a moment, and then gave up on English. "I've never seen him act parental before, but he cares about the whelp. I'll support him. Jim is a good kid."

Kanjigar nodded, bending an ear to the muted words of said troll on the floor above, chastising the child for sneaking out of bed at the detriment of his own health. Both Blinky and Barbara were assuring the boy that no friendships had been dissolved and no trolls had been banished from the house. The boy uttered a 'goodnight' to both adults.

Having one of his trolls proclaim himself in all but words the father of a human whelp was a complication and situation that Kanjigar had never anticipated on experiencing. Much less from Blinky.

As long as nobody got hit with a crutch again, he would be happy.

Stepping carefully up the stairs, he witnessed what seemed to be the peaceful closing of negotiations.

"It is past time for us to return," Blinky was saying. Kanjigar was extremely bemused to see Barbara put her hand upon his arm.

"Thank you," she said softly. "I guess tomorrow night will be okay?"

"Quite agreeable," the troll replied. They both noticed Kanjigar watching them from halfway up the stairs.
"Shall we, Master Kanjigar?"
AAARRRGGHH did not seem surprised to see Blinky and Barbara chatting amiably, and Kanjigar respected his lead, falling once more to the shadows as they left the house with the promise to return. Barbara waved them out, the light from the house illuminating the open doorway, but just as the door closed he saw the remains of conflict in her eyes.

"Please tell me I haven't made a huge mistake," he heard her mutter, just as darkness once more reigned the night.

A/N: Barbara was surprisingly gung-ho about Jim hanging around with Strickler and inviting his 'guidance counselor' into his house, for such a protective parent. From personal experience I'm a little nervous about teachers taking such special interest in their students, but perhaps Arcadia is a relatively safe and trusting town. Poor Barbara, having to mediate an agreement to give a strange troll the self-chosen role of 'new dad'.

Also, there are two people you don't want to piss off: the people who serve you food, and the people who serve you medicine. Doctors and nurses know where everything hurts the most and what exactly will trigger it in just the right way.

Very tiny nod to the book at first, if you can spot it. Book!AAARRRGGHH! had a rock embedded into her head by Gunmar the Asshole, causing her not-so-eloquent speech.

I am so prepared for Barbara and Blinky to be besties, but Barbara's got a little distrust to get through first. She's also very difficult to write. Little tip: when you're stuck, make something unexpected happen or change the POV. That's why we heard Jim sneaking around upstairs, the change to Kanjigar's POV, and Jim falling and hurting himself. If you can't think of a way to continue what you wrote, don't. Interrupt your writing and go on from there.

Personally, Kanjigar is not my favorite. I know that he deeply loves his son, but I don't agree with his decision to cut Draal out of his life, and we – and Barbara – will definitely be exploring that. As for his decision to make Barbara a contact, we've seen him be very resourceful and willing to use people when he thought it necessary.

I told you the BLAAARRRGGHHY ship would be up to interpretation, and it still is. Two bros can raise a kid together, you don't know their life.