Epilogue

"Dear Solace,

I wanted to mail you this letter, but then I remembered you said you were moving, so I'll try to give it to you when you come by the hospital again to say goodbye. Don't worry, I got plenty of privacy to write this, so no one else has read it.

I'm sure you know what the detectives know by now. They're talking about how an abandoned apartment was discovered, and from the stuff they found inside, they think that the Winter Soldier was there. They really think that he must have been working with Crossbones, and I really wish I could tell them they're wrong! But I know that's a bad idea for all of us. I don't want them to know your secret identity.

The last time you visited, you said Bucky left town. I understand why, but I wish he didn't. You seemed so sad, even if you were trying not to show it. They told me about what the Winter Soldier had done and why he's a bad person, but I don't think I believe it. Yeah, I guess he was pretty scary the first time I met him, but he did try to help me. And I saw how hard he fought to try and help you, too! I think he really cares about you, Solace. I'm sorry he had to go away, but I don't want the police to get him, either. I hope you two can see each other again. I really feel like he was a good person.

I'm going to tell you this when you visit, but they found me a foster family through the witness protection program. It looks like I'll be traveling to meet up with them. I'm not sure where they live yet—it's for my protection, they say—but I guess I'll find out soon enough. It must be far away because I'm taking a plane, though. So I guess we'll all be going our separate ways. My dad's lawyers will be taking care of all my dad's stuff and what I get to have, but since I'm not old enough and because they're worried about Crossbones coming after me, I'll have to wait for a while before I can access it. I guess that's ok, though. I kind of want to put that behind me for the time being.

I haven't told anyone this, but I know I can trust you with it. I really miss Dad a lot, but… I think he must have done something bad, for Crossbones to come after him. I remember Dad always having strange men visit the house when I was growing up. They'd pass around briefcases, lots of documents. Dad would work long hours on secret projects that he said were classified. He said it was for the government, but I think he was lying. I remember when I walked in on Crossbones just after he murdered Dad… I ran to Dad's side, trying to wake him up. Crossbones glared at me with such a terrifying expression, before he snatched up a picture on Dad's desk nearby and ran away. It rolled up like a poster, and looked like it had a machine blueprint on it or something. I can't really remember anything about it because it was written in weird letters, but I do remember a big skull on the top. Or an octopus? I don't really know. It looked creepy.

I only want you to know all that because I think you'll figure out what it means. I don't want you to worry about me. I'm not scared of Crossbones anymore. He's a horrible person, and I am worried about him trying to track me down, but I just don't want him to hurt my friends anymore. I don't want him to hurt you. But I'm not scared of him. I think he knows he can't push me around anymore, not without a fight.

Solace… I want to thank you for everything you've done for me. You're the closest thing I've had to a mom in a long time. Mom died when I was 7, and I really miss her, but you've been there for me ever since I had to go to the hospital for my heart condition. Even after I wasn't your patient anymore, you were always looking out for me. Plus, you're a superhero! How cool is that? You're probably the best friend I have, and I'll really miss you. I hope we can stay in touch, but I don't know how that will work since I have to live somewhere secret. You probably do, too.

Tell Bucky hi if you see him again, and stay safe if you're going to go out and fight more bad guys. If they ever made a comic book about you, I would be your biggest fan!

Lots of love, Alec Ternz"

Bucharest, Romania – 3 months later

"Sper ca totul este in regula." (1)

Bucky Barnes scanned the room before him, one bare-bones apartment out of many in a building tucked into the middle of Romania's capital city. It was cheap, and the room reflected that—though it came furnished—albeit sparsely—the furniture and appliances looked pretty old and worn. But that was of no concern to him.

He turned to face the landlady with a charming smile, one that came to him far more comfortably than it once had. "Este perfect," he assured her, in practiced Romanian. "Va multumesc foarte mult." (2)

The older woman smiled and bowed her head politely, before handing him the keys to the apartment. "Anunta-ti-ma daca aveti nevoie de altceva," she said, before leaving the room. (3)

Bucky waited until she disappeared down the stairwell before he locked the front door. True to routine, the soldier prompted him to explore every inch of the small dwelling, frowning at the bare windows devoid of curtains or blinds of any sort. Buying his own would probably be too expensive, though; maybe he'd just cover the windows with newspaper until he came up with a better solution.

Once he'd taken an inventory of the apartment's security, Bucky set his bag down next to the bed and began to process what items he'd have to purchase. He would have to ration his saved money carefully; he'd spent much of it getting to Europe, after all. New York City had been too overwhelming to him—looking over the once-familiar neighborhoods of his youth only brought on a fresh new wave of pain, realizing everything had changed drastically since he last set foot there. The confusion had been too much, and that, coupled with the constant paranoia of federal authorities searching for the Winter Soldier, had prompted Bucky to decide to go overseas. He'd be away from those who were actively searching for him, and he'd have plenty of time to himself to reflect on what he was trying to remember. Being in a completely foreign environment might help him figure everything out, without distractions.

Good thing the Winter Soldier was fluent in Romanian, and had spent plenty of missions traveling through Bucharest in the past. He would feel just comfortable enough with the city to get by.

With a sigh, Bucky collapsed backwards on his bare mattress and stared at the new ceiling above him. He'd have to figure out how to adjust to a new place all over again, and this time he would be keenly aware of the lonely hole in his heart. Solace's voice and smile would not be there to look forward to, to make each day bearable.

Reaching into his pocket, Bucky pulled out the MP3 player that he had kept on him every day since leaving Philadelphia. It was pink, yes, and it probably looked silly for such a rugged young man to use, but he didn't care. Every night he'd listen to it—sometimes he'd shuffle everything on the player, just to see what kind of music Solace enjoyed. But most of the time, he'd listen to the playlist Solace made for him, titled "For my Soldier." They must have been the songs that reminded her of him, and each one spoke to him in different ways, reminding him of the brief but beautiful totality that was their relationship.

After hitting play, Bucky allowed himself to relax to the soothing music, idly scrolling through the device's menus as he did so. He hadn't really dug into it too deeply until now, not being super familiar with such technology. But he remembered that Solace had put the photos of their date on it, and now he wanted to look at them. After a few attempts, he managed to navigate to the photo library and began browsing through the pictures. He smiled at the handful of shots from their date, but was surprised to see those weren't the only photos on the device. He found a few pictures of him that he didn't remember Solace ever taking. They looked like she had quickly snapped them when Bucky wasn't looking; they were all of him in profile, and his attention was elsewhere. But he looked oddly content, a hint of a smile on his face. Perhaps because he was with her, and she always made him happy.

With a slight chuckle, Bucky continued to look through the pictures, finally coming across the last few in the library. They were all selfies that Solace must have taken of herself, just for him; she had tried several poses and expressions, some serious, others happy and cute. He felt butterflies in his stomach just gazing into her bright eyes, and seeing the sweet smile on her face.

"God, kitten," he breathed, bringing the MP3 player to his lips and kissing the screen briefly. "I miss you."

Bucky rolled over, desperate to distract himself from his sentiment, and reached into his bag nearby, pulling out a few of his notebooks. He'd finished up the previous one he'd been working on, and was ready to start on a fresh one. Before putting the completed notebook away, Bucky flipped quickly through the pages, mentally reviewing the things he had tried to remember in the last few months. The last chunk of pages were his section dedicated to Steve and Solace; he'd filled it up on the bus rides to New Jersey and New York with musings of the girl he'd left behind, and all the things he wanted to remember about their time together.

He smiled briefly at the sentimental journal entries, before looking at Steve's admittedly-smaller section. Most of what Bucky wrote about him was vague, and the photos he'd collected of Captain America seemed equally as vague. They were just pictures he'd found that anyone could look at. But the last one he'd tucked into the pages—the old photo of Captain Steve Rogers and Sergeant Bucky Barnes sharing a moment of levity together—was no such thing. It was special, unique. Bucky stared at the photo and tried not to become anxious at his inability to remember what they'd been doing. Steve was his friend. He'd forgive him for not remembering everything about that day. No one remembered everything about their lives, after all.

Bucky took the photo out and set the notebook aside. He placed the picture on the nightstand and smiled, just a little. Maybe if he saw it every day, he'd stop feeling nervous about it. In time, he might even start to remember.

Music still soft and comforting in his ears, Bucky pulled a pen out of his bag and focused his attention on the new notebook in front of him. He flipped it open, and was surprised to see unfamiliar handwriting across the first page. It took him a moment to remember that he'd given Solace this notebook to write in. The realization made his heart jump in his throat, and he studied her notes carefully. Oh, that was right—she'd asked him about his childhood, and many of the questions only drew a blank in his mind. Bucky chewed on the end of his pen and examined the first set of questions, as if he were taking an exam. "Who were your parents? Did you have any siblings? What were they like?"

How awful that Bucky couldn't remember anything about his own family. A vague part of him wanted to say he didn't have one or maybe even both parents. The exhibit dedicated to him at the Smithsonian Institute claimed he was the oldest of four children, but if that were true, he certainly couldn't remember anything about his siblings. He breathed a somewhat-frustrated sigh and turned the page to write at least that much down.

But when he did, Bucky was startled, once again, to see the next page filled with even more of Solace's handwriting. This time, she hadn't written him prompts and reminders—she'd written him an entire letter. He felt his heart beat faster in his chest as he tucked the pen behind his ear and shifted his position to read.

"Dear Bucky,

I'm keeping this brief because you're staring at me from across the table right now, and it just kills me to have to ignore those beautiful eyes and keep writing~ But I want to give you something to hold onto when you're alone and trying to remember things.

It feels terrible to think that we've had so little time together. I sometimes think I should have talked to you sooner at the bus stop. I don't think I ever explained it, but I started riding the bus because I sold my car to Jasc. He needed it more than I did, and he couldn't afford anything else. I was kind of annoyed at him at the time, but maybe now I need to thank him. If I hadn't given up my car, I probably wouldn't have met you.

There was something so easy to trust about you. Every part of me told me not to invite you close; you were just a random guy at the bus stop. Who knew if you were a weirdo or something. But there was something in your eyes that made my heart jump every time I saw you. I finally let myself reach out and touch you with my abilities, just a little, to see what kind of person you were. I could feel your pain and fear, but… at the same time, you had such a light about you, too. Everything hurt inside, but you weren't letting that take over.

I liked what I saw, and I wished I had the courage to sit next to you. But I didn't. I kept hoping you'd notice me instead. I just was scared. Maybe I was fantasizing what I wanted from you. Maybe you weren't as nice as I dreamed.

But then you proved you noticed me. You helped me, that day, when I almost missed the bus. And that's when I found the courage to get closer to you. I never imagined what we'd become. I just knew I loved your smile.

Bucky… I know you have a lot ahead of you, and I wish so badly I could be there to help you through it. But you'll be fine. We'll be fine. I don't know what the future has in store for either of us, but I know I'll always want you in my life.

Keep fighting, my soldier. When this war is over and you need to rest, I'll find you. I promise.

Love, Solace"

At first Bucky thought her signature was especially messy, but then he realized his vision was blurring. He blinked, hard, and a tear fell on the page just below her name.

Stop being so good to me, please; I don't deserve it—

He realized he was breathing hard, but just as he started to feel dizzy he suddenly flipped to the next page and grabbed his pen again. He began writing as if his hand was possessed, the words coming so easily that he wasn't even sure his brain was processing them.

"I remember seeing Mom crying in the kitchen, but she didn't see me. I was in full uniform and wanted to surprise her before I was shipped off to Europe. When she finally left the room to compose herself, I went in and read the letter. Dad died in some kind of training accident. I remember feeling angry, that he didn't even get to go to war again. That I didn't get to make him proud. Mom never told me before I left; I'm pretty sure she didn't want to upset me. But I was still upset. I wonder what she ended up telling my kid brothers and sister."

Bucky tried to steady his breathing as he reread what he'd written. These brief, sudden moments of clarity were not unknown to him—that's what the notebooks were for, after all, to capture them—but he was still surprised at himself for pulling such memories out of nowhere. They were obviously still vague, and he'd probably never recall all the details, but it was still something. The story before him didn't make him sad, for he didn't remember anything about either of his parents, or his siblings. All it invoked was a solemn confusion.

Still, he tried his best to smile, to pull some pride from the fact that he'd remembered something. See beautiful girl, I'm fighting as hard as I can. You're worth it. He's worth it. I'm worth it.

The pen lowered to the paper again, and Bucky began to write. Remembering his own mother, however briefly, brought some clarity to a memory he'd been nursing for months. A sad, scrawny young blond, wearing a suit far too big for him. His blue eyes struggled to hold back tears as he stared up at Bucky desperately.

"I went to a funeral. I don't really remember all the details of it, but I do remember how nice the programs looked. 'Sarah Rogers, beloved mother and friend.' She apparently loved pink roses, because there were a lot of them at the service. I remember some old man whispering they weren't appropriate for a funeral, and Steve overheard him. He looked like he wanted to cry because he really liked those flowers too, and more than anything I wished I could break that asshole's nose."

When he closed his eyes again, Steve's face was still there, full of sadness. Bucky saw himself reach out, grabbing the smaller man's shoulder tightly, throat filling with all the things he wanted to say, needed to say, should have said.

"I'm with you till the end of the line, pal."

But Bucky knew—now, more than ever—that it had been enough.

Washington, D.C.

The door opened, and with it came a rush of frigid air, sweeping into the café. He fought the urge to apologize to the people inside who flinched and yelped at the sudden cold, and instead kept his head down, joining the line of customers waiting to order lunch. He didn't want to draw attention to himself; he was here for something important, and could not bear the thought of people recognizing him and distracting him from that.

After several minutes of waiting, he finally was able to order his food—coffee with some fancy, artisan sandwich that sounded tasty even if he didn't know what half the ingredients were—and carried both from the counter to find a seat. His eyes, hidden behind an admittedly dorky-looking set of glasses, scanned the room carefully. He wasn't early, was he? He'd made it a point to arrive right on time. But maybe she was late? The snow outside could very well hold her up somewhere…

His gaze kept returning to a petite-looking brunette girl in the corner, staring at her smartphone while she stirred a cup of soup. He approached with hesitant footsteps, just in case he was mistaken, and she finally looked up. Her gaze met his, and he could see the recognition in her eyes. Her cheeks colored as she gave him a shy smile.

Encouraged, he set his meal down on the table across from her, reaching out his hand with a kind smile. "Miss Morgan?" he whispered, just loud enough for her to hear.

The young woman's eyes lit up happily, and she shook his hand. "Captain Rogers," she acknowledged, in a voice just as soft as his, filled with awe.

The two tucked into their meals, making casual small talk to ease the tension between them. She, in hushed, excited breaths, insisted he call her Solace, while he, in return, assured her that Steve would be just fine. They complained about the cold and snow, although Steve didn't actually find it to be too unpleasant—he'd experienced much worse, after all. When they'd finished eating their lunches, he offered to buy her a cupcake, which she'd accepted shyly but insisted he share with her. Steve, embarrassed, had complied, and the two dug in with separate forks.

Halfway through dessert, Steve finally decided to broach the real matter at hand. Solace was an incredibly sweet woman, he thought, and talking to her was certainly soothing and enjoyable, but in the end, the two of them were here on business, not a date.

"I want to thank you for reaching out to me," Steve began, setting his fork down and staring at her across the table. "I'm… not completely sure how you got into contact with Sam, but I'm really glad you did."

Solace smiled slightly and looked down, poking at the cupcake thoughtfully. "I was a candidate for being recruited into SHIELD—back when they were still around, anyway," she explained. "I still have some connections that aren't HYDRA infested."

Steve tried not to frown at the memories of discovering SHIELD was infiltrated by the villainous organization, and had been for decades. "However you were able to manage it… I really appreciate you taking the time to meet me."

"Oh, come on. Like I was going to pass up the opportunity to meet Captain America," she teased. Solace's cheeriness made Steve smile, but he still felt awkward. He'd never been great with women, even after he'd become a supersoldier. I bet Bucky would have liked meeting her. I feel like their personalities would get along real well together—

But then he reminded himself that Bucky wasn't Bucky anymore; he was the Winter Soldier. His smile faded.

"Hey," Solace said, in a far gentler tone, and Steve was startled when he felt her hand on his arm. "I'm just joking. I'm really happy to be here with you, Captain America or not."

"It's… it's not that," Steve tried to assure. "I'm just… distracted, I guess. I'm sorry."

Solace's eyes studied him, before she nodded in understanding. "No, it's ok. I know what you're really here for."

Steve took a deep breath, trying to push back all the emotions he felt bottled up inside him. His larger hand squeezed hers gently, trying to be polite and welcoming while still expressing a tinge of urgency. "Sam said you might know where he is," he said.

"Not… exactly. But I can tell you where he's been."

"That's fine. Anything will help." Steve felt his heart race, wondering if it was really true. "You're absolutely sure it was him, though?" He heard the dishes on the table rattle ever so slightly, and he realized he was trembling. He loosened his grip just in case he grasped Solace too hard out of anxiety.

Solace stared at him for a moment, then laughed weakly and let go of his hand, fumbling with something hanging around her neck. The familiar, metallic clinking of dog tags reached his ears, and Steve watched her pull a set out from under her shirt. With careful fingers, Solace unsnapped the secondary chain from her necklace before closing it again, and held the tag out to Steve's open hand.

"For you," she said, simply.

Confused, Steve looked down at it—and his heart stopped. He knew the name and the numbers stamped into the metal just as surely as he knew his own, and the particular nicks and scratches in the tag were equally as familiar to him.

James B Barnes, 32557038, T42 43 A, P

Steve had to squeeze his eyes shut, briefly, before looking up at Solace again. She was smiling warmly, and he found himself smiling back. She'd met him—not the Winter Soldier—and he was doing just fine. That was all Steve ever wanted or needed. To know his best friend was ok.

"Bucky says hi."

Translations:

(1) Sper ca totul este in regula. – "I hope this is acceptable."

(2) Este perfect. Va multumesc foarte mult. - "It is perfect. Thank you very much."

(3) Anunta-ti-ma daca aveti nevoie de altceva. - "Let me know if you need anything else."

The End!

With that, Stay With Me is now finished! I hope all of you have enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it!

Posting this fanfic to share with all of you has been a little nerve-wracking, as the story became such an important project to me while I was writing and editing it. I began writing sometime in June of 2016, and finished it sometime in either January or February 2017, though I spent the months since then constantly editing and fine-tuning it before I finally began posting it here. It's been such a great journey!

While I've drawn inspiration from a lot of different places, music really helped shape and set the tone for this story as I wrote it (which seems apt, what with Solace and all). The primary album I listened to while working on much of this was Breaking Benjamin's Dark Before Dawn. Specifically, I really resonated and connected to the song "Ashes of Eden," from which the title of the story actually comes from. I also have a (small) playlist on Spotify that I put together for this story; let me know if you're interested in what the songs are.

While I do have ideas for future stories that take place after Stay With Me, I have no timeline in mind for when I plan to write them. Writing this was very therapeutic and my inspiration came very naturally, so I don't wish to force myself to write anything just yet if I'm not feeling it. All I can say about a future story is that it will take place during the events of Civil War, but it will probably be an AU/what-if type of scenario where the plot is re-written with my own ideas. I plan to incorporate a lot more inspiration from the Marvel comic books into the storyline too, just as I did for some of the aspects of Stay With Me, so I think it'll be really fun. :)

A few additional notes—Jasc (the friend that Solace alludes to several times in the story) was meant to make a brief appearance at some point in the story, but as I continued to edit it, he got cut out. He'll probably be a supporting character in the sequel. Alec will definitely appear in future stories too. By the way—while Solace never mentions this, her "superhero alias" is Siren, which was designated to her at the SHIELD training facility when she was staying there. While the outfit she wears in this story is pretty makeshift at this point in time, she does have an "official" Siren outfit that I have artwork of, if you're interested in seeing it. Just PM me~

While I know there are a multitude of Bucky x OC stories here on the site, I really appreciate you taking the time to read mine, and again I hope you all enjoyed it. Reviews are very much appreciated, and you are also welcome to PM me if you have any questions. Thank you for reading, and I hope to see you all again in the future!