AN: Hello, everyone! It seems I can't leave fanfiction behind just yet. This idea caught me the other day, and I can't seem to let it go. I have to say that it is heavily inspired by The Happy Curse of the Black Diamond by Meelomango. I enjoyed reading it even though it hasn't been finished. I had a "what if" moment thinking about it. Hah, it's almost like fanfiction of fanfiction. Anyway, here it is!

Vagabond

Chapter 1

His own dry heaving was what woke Kakashi first, then came the horrible headache, nausea and the actual vomit he somehow managed to contain in the bucket beside his bed. His head spun, his throat burned. He recognized the symptoms of drunkenness beyond what should be reasonable. Strangest of all, he did not remember drinking. He crawled out of bed - or tried to, for he simply fell on his side on the floor - and groaned. His desk light was still on. Nausea rising again, he grabbed the bucket just in time to throw up into it a second time.

Last he remembered, he had gone to bed to sleep. Sober.

"What the fuck," Kakashi grumbled, splayed on his back.

It hit him then - this wasn't his bedroom. He didn't recognize the yellow walls, nor the desk light. He certainly did not keep buckets next to his bed.

"Shit."

He had to get out. This wasn't normal. How much had he had to drink? He tried to stand again, but his head spun so much he settled for crawling on all fours. The clock, which he barely managed to read, showed seven in the morning. No, this was far from normal. Had he been poisoned? Though it was within the realm of possibility, his symptoms and the empty bottles laying around told another story.

Help.

He needed to find help. Hangovers and alcohol were never strangers to him, but this was something else. He feared if he fell asleep again he just might never wake up. He held no fear for death, but choking in a puddle of his vomit was far from his preferred method. He tried for the door, but already his vision was fading, so he settled for lying on his side against the wall, hopefully propped up well enough to not roll on his back when he passed out.

...

"Hey."

"C'mon, man."

"Time to wake up."

Kakashi groaned, cracking one eye open.

"There you are. Thought I'd lost you for a moment there."

The yellow walls. That's right. He wasn't home. Immediately, he shook off the hands that were on him and sat up, regretting it when a wave of nausea rocked his skull.

"Hey, take it easy."

There was a man beside him, but Kakashi's mind was still too fuzzy to process much yet.

"You look like you're going to puke."

And he was. He reached for the bucket he remembered making the acquaintance of earlier. In his haze, he couldn't find it, but it was handed to him in time to avoid any unfortunate incidents.

Kakashi sighed in the bucket. Everything still spun and he was far from sober yet. At last, the thought crossed his mind to check who his company was. Though he lacked the metal frame around his face, Kakashi recognized Yamato.

"What happened? Where am I?"

"You're home," Yamato said, rubbing his back. "You drank. It's over now."

"I don't remember drinking."

Yamato chuckled and hooked one arm around Kakashi's torso. "Let's just get you in the shower. You smell like a distillery."

Kakashi held his protests as Yamato helped him into the bathroom and started the shower for him. While Kakashi considered sleeping on the toilet where he sat, Yamato retrieved fresh clothes and towels that didn't smell so fresh.

"Just take a shower," he said, watching Kakashi through the already half-closed door. "I'll get you some food."

With a shrug, Kakashi obeyed. The warm water did help dissipate some of the fog in his brain, leaving him to wonder how Yamato had even gotten into his apartment. Or why he thought he was allowed to go through his belongings as he just had. Sakura or Naruto might be so bold every once in a while, but never Yamato. But he wasn't home, was he? He didn't have grey shower curtains. Or black sweatpants like these.

When he felt sufficiently self-aware, Kakashi stepped out of the bathroom. The apartment was small, as was to be expected of him, but it definitely was not his. Yamato looked at him from the tiny kitchen, nudged in a corner by the exit. He was cleaning dishes from the pile in the sink - a mess Kakashi would never leave behind. Strangest of all was the compassion in Yamato's eyes. Like someone had died.

"I found some pasta. It's in the microwave."

Kakashi gave it a sniff, but his nose seemed muted today.

"I'm pretty sure it's still okay."

With a hum, Kakashi dug in, wishing for nothing more than to end the burning in his throat and stomach. When all of it was gone and he reclined in his chair, it occurred to him that he'd known where to get the fork from without hesitation. Yet, for the life of him, he could not remember having ever been here before.

"I suppose you don't feel up to training today. You should come, though."

"Where?"

Yamato paused in his dishwashing, frowning. "What do you mean where?" When Kakashi offered nothing more than a blank face, Yamato continued, "Your father's dojo?"

"My father's?..."

Now clearly worried, Yamato approached him, scrutinizing his face. "Are you… are you okay? Do you want me to take you to the hospital?"

"Just tell Sakura to come by. I'll survive until then."

"I'm sorry, who?"

Kakashi's stomach sank. Ignoring the flurry of questions Yamato barraged him with, Kakashi stood up and stepped outside his apartment, only to have the wind knocked out of him. What was this place? He'd never seen anything like this sea of concrete, lights and cables. Not only was he not home, he wasn't in Konoha. Or even the same continent.

A genjutsu. Perhaps he had been attacked. He tried to dispel it, but nothing happened. If it was an illusion, it was one unlike anything he'd ever heard of before. He'd been through enough - and created more than enough - to know when he was trapped in one.

"Say something!" Yamato pleaded from behind him, desperate. "What the fuck is going on with you?"

Frantic, Kakashi grabbed Yamato's arm and shoved his sleeve up above his elbow. He knew there were scars there, yet he found none. Deaf to Yamato's voice, Kakashi hurried back in the bathroom and stood in front of the mirror. His reflection showed a smooth face, free of scars. Though his hair was grey, the shade was different and hints of its former black coloration remained.

They were different people. Somehow.

At last, Yamato's voice reached him once more. "Yamato. Calm down."

"Calm down?" Yamato half-shouted, arms flying at his side. "Then tell me what's up with you!"

Kakashi took a moment to gather his thoughts, then sighed. "I think it's just temporary memory loss."

"Then we need to get you to the hospital - "

"No," Kakashi said, firm. "I'm fine right here. How about you just help me out a bit instead?"

With some hesitation, Yamato conceded.

Kakashi prodded Yamato as he could, trying his best to appear as nothing more than a minor lunatic - a reputation he was already somewhat accustomed to. Yamato confirmed date and location for him, which, while the same in name, were different. Fall was much warmer in Konoha than here. He owned his apartment and the bookshop below it, worked there six days a week, and also owned the dojo his father had passed on to him after his death. Yamato ran it in his stead.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Yamato asked again, wringing his hands. "Amnesia… That's not…"

"I was just pulling your leg."

Yamato's face fell. "You - what?"

Kakashi only offered his trademark smile, though it felt rather naked without his mask.

"That's not funny. At all."

"Sorry," Kakashi said, holding his hands up in silent apology. "I couldn't help myself."

For a while, Yamato sat still, lips pursed. Finally, he spoke in clipped tones. "As much as I'd like to continue this conversation, I have a class to teach this evening."

"Of course."

Kakashi followed him to the door, where Yamato hesitated, looking Kakashi in the eye.

"I meant it, you know," he said. "You should come to the dojo. We haven't sparred in a while… I'm sure you'd make a few happy faces if you did, too."

"Maybe next time," Kakashi said, an impatient hand on the door. "I'm rather hungover today."

"Yeah, you are." Yamato sighed and finally stepped outside. "Take care of yourself, okay?"

"Sure thing."

With Yamato finally on his way, Kakashi shut the door and turned towards his apartment. There was work to be done - whether it was about the filth surrounding him or the mystery of it all.

…

Though he had considered cleaning his living quarters to satisfaction first, Kakashi had rejected the idea in favor of finding any information he could. In the pants he'd slept in, he found his wallet. There was money inside of it. Even without knowing these bills' worth, he knew it was a decent amount - the same way he knew how to read the name - Kobayashi - on his identification even though he'd never seen it before.

"What is this?"

Brows knit together and teeth grinding, Kakashi went through the rest of the wallet. He kept a card of the bookshop he owned as well as one of the dojo's, bank cards, and a picture of a boy. He wore the kendo outfit and was posed to battle; he didn't seem to be aware of the camera. Kakashi checked the back of it, finding it to be dated seven years earlier. He brushed the tips of his fingers against the plastic that protected the picture. Whoever this boy was, whoever he was cared deeply for him.

With nothing more to be found in the wallet, Kakashi checked the next pocket and retrieved a strange device he'd never seen before. His fingers automatically reached to tap the screen, so he allowed them. His instincts led him well up to now and didn't betray him yet - the screen lit up. It reminded him of the computers he sometimes saw in the hospital or the Hokage's tower, though he'd never used one for himself. He didn't recall anyone touching their screens either. Kakashi found it relatively easy to navigate. When he didn't have an inkling of what an icon might be, it was made clear by pressing it. Before long, he figured it must be a phone of sorts. It had an address book, of which a name stuck out like lightning in the sky: Obito.

Swallowing the lump in his throat, Kakashi shoved the phone in his pocket. He would look into it later. Instead, he searched his bedroom, but save for a laptop, dirty clothes and books, he found little of interest.

Satisfied with his search, Kakashi left the apartment, only to be greeted by a cat.

"Hey there, Pumpkin," he said, surprising himself. Was this his cat? "Is that your name?"

Pumpkin, either uncaring or agreeing, meowed loudly and rubbed against his legs. Kakashi spared a moment to stroke its scruffy black and orange fur. When he tried to leave, Pumpkin followed, meowing after him. Figuring it must be hungry, he returned inside. Inside a cupboard, he found a bag of food, but no dedicated bowl. Pumpkin found it by himself - his arm was flailing at it, hidden under the counter.

With the cat fed and petted, Kakashi left.

Under the apartment, he found the bookstore and unlocked it with no trouble. Kakashi could only chuckle at its appearance. Old, dusty and mismatched. This store just might be his perfect match. He walked through the aisles, reading the titles of various books but recognizing none. Some of them caught his attention, though he couldn't tell if it was because of their titles or if Kobayashi might have read them before. Under the desk where he worked, he found a safe. This, too, he knew how to unlock, though it took a few tries. There was little of interest in it. Some money, but mostly bills and the bookkeeping for the store - which he found didn't make much in contrast to the expenses. The entries went back thirteen years and were all written by his own hand.

With nothing more to find in the shop, Kakashi opted for a walk. The city was unrecognizable to his brain, but his feet led him without worry. He must have lived here a long time, as seemed to confirm the ledger in his shop. During a short walk, he found a few stray cats and even more convenience stores with bright banners. He stopped in one of them for a drink, where he spent much longer checking the prices of goods than actually choosing a drink. It confirmed to amount of money in his wallet to be absurd.

The city as a whole reminded him of Otafuku Gai - bright and lively, chock full of businesses of all kinds and flavors. It was quieter, though, and cleaner. Even with the pedestrian streets filled to the brim, he felt rather at peace. The other streets, though, he enjoyed less; they were filled with vehicles he'd never seen the likes of before. Like the cargo trains that supplied Konoha, but bite-sized and colorful. Some were much bigger and stopped every few blocks where people waited to board. He considered riding one, but decided against it. Passengers were orderly and aware of the boarding procedure and he wasn't.

By the time his phone showed nine in the evening - useful little thing, it was - Kakashi's stomach was rumbling, so he headed towards home. The alcohol had finally worn off, leaving behind only a headache. A few blocks from his shop, Kakashi stopped to take a look at a restaurant that felt somehow familiar. It was a tiny hole-in-the-wall place that served noodles and rice. With a shrug, Kakashi entered it. Any food would be good food.

"Kakashi!" the girl at the till called, bright smile on her bubbly face. "I was beginning to think I wouldn't see you tonight!"

Kakashi smiled politely. "I have a bad habit of being late."

"So the usual?" she said, already scribbling something down on a piece of paper.

Kakashi nodded. The girl - Nami, by her nametag - gave the slip of paper to the cook and turned back to Kakashi, leaning forward on the counter.

"I finish my shift soon, you know," she said, winking. She looked young enough, maybe a tad younger than his students, so her early twenties. Too young to be this flirty with him. "Wanna wait for me?"

"Sure."

He took a seat close to her, watching amused the way she posed for him as they made small talk. She asked about Pumpkin the same way Sakura asked after his ninken, excited and secretly pleading for a visit. She talked about school and how difficult it was, whatever she studied. She disliked one of her teachers very much, but still enjoyed learning all she could about psychology. She missed her brother, gone on a business trip overseas with their father, very much.

At last, she served him his food. Curry, along with a bottle of sake. He and Kobayashi had similar tastes in food. Nami's monologue continued seamlessly. Peace wouldn't be part of his dinner tonight, unfortunately. Kakashi hummed or nodded politely in between bites, but he'd mostly tuned her out. Kobayashi and Nami were familiar enough, he could deduce, but he couldn't quite guess whether or not they were dating.

"You know, I was thinking of signing up for a class at your school."

Interest piqued, Kakashi looked up from his food. "What kind?"

"What kind do you teach?"

Kakashi chuckled. It had been a long time since he'd received this kind of attention from young women - and when he'd been young enough to receive it, he hadn't cared for it. "None. My friend does."

"Why don't you teach there?" she asked, a pout on her red lips. "I know you're good. I saw you in the newspaper."

Kakashi shrugged in response. "Not my thing."

"Well, what would you recommend?"

A simple look at Nami revealed her body knew no sort of training whatsoever. She was thin, but lacked any muscle mass - a trend as popular here as it was with civilian women in Konoha. "When are you done with school tomorrow?"

"Six." She perked up, a wider smile on her lips. "I'll text you the address. Will I get my own private class?"

"No," he said, crossing his legs and reclining in his chair now that his plate was empty. Nami cleared the table quickly. "We'll go and figure out what will fit you best."

"Cool. I can't wait!" After a glance at the clock, she locked the door of the shop. "I'm just gonna finish up and change, alright?"

"Alright."

Kakashi waited patiently where he sat, like a good boy. When his phone vibrated and rang in his pocket, he fished it out. New message, the screen said. A tap on it and the message - and image - took over the screen. Kakashi coughed in his fist. Well, she wasn't a good girl. The picture featured her rear and panties. Another message followed. I decided on red today! (heart). Dating or not, she certainly wasn't just a friend. He scrolled up in the messages, concluding this was what she had meant by text. She had texted him first several months ago, saying she'd gotten his number from a friend and that she was hoping he could help her out. The messages were always short, and a few months in, the pictures began. Frowning, Kakashi skimmed the rest of them. They communicated every week or two; she always instigated. All of it was limited either to the details of meeting up or suggestive pictures. It was rather odd, but what did he know of how people texted?

"What are you staring at like that?" Nami teased when she returned. "Anything interesting?"

"Nothing at all. Let's get going."

Outside, Nami walked at his side, though she kept a comfortable distance. She talked all the while, just as she had done in the restaurant, but Kakashi didn't mind it. It filled the space between them and distracted him from the whirlwind in his head. He'd been here over twelve hours already and no end was in sight. He could only gather whatever information he could - and Nami liked to spout it about everything she saw. She'd taken this train to go on a vacation with her friends last year, or she really liked this boutique, or that street scared her because there was always a dog to bark at her.

At some point, she stopped at a loud and far too well-lit shop, cooing in awe at the plush animals trapped inside machines.

"I like this one so much!" she said, pointing at a happy cat. "Isn't it cute?"

And she looked back at him, the same stars in her eyes as when she'd inquired about Pumpkin. Nami liked cats, but that wasn't the only thing he could tell; there was intent behind this question as well, and it was rather universal woman talk for why don't you get this for me? A few imaginary coins weren't going to bankrupt him, so Kakashi obliged. It was more trouble than anticipated to catch the cat, not unlike the rigged games in Otafuku, but soon it was in Nami's hands and she thanked him profusely, rubbing up against his side just like a cat.

It didn't occur to him that they were headed to his apartment until the shop came into sight. Following Nami was simpler, so he hadn't spared it much thought. She jogged up the stairs to his balcony and waited for him to open the door for her. She laughed at his mess, chastising him, but she expected it. Kakashi apologized anyway. Nami walked about comfortably; she'd been here often. So often, in fact, that she found a box tucked away under his sink that he hadn't noticed. He thought to scold her for touching his things so, but he held his tongue. From the box, she retrieved a few things; paper, matches, what resembled the contents of Asuma's evening cigarettes, and a bag of pills.

"We're having a big party next week for the long weekend, so my friends asked me to get some extra… That's fine, right?" she asked, setting aside a number of pills. "I've got the money right now."

"No trouble at all."

That explained Nami's interest in him. She pulled bills from her wallet and laid them on the counter. And that explained the money in his wallet. They agreed on the price and Nami hid the pills and the cigarettes she'd rolled, save for one. Kakashi went to sit on his bed. The pounding in his head had returned. After she'd lit the cigarette, she took a long drag from it and sighed.

"I wish it was more acceptable to smoke weed," she sighed, dropping next to him on the bed. "It would make school easier. Less stressful."

Kakashi only hummed. He thought she would leave now, but she handed him the cigarette and nodded at his laptop, asking if he didn't mind if she chose the movie tonight. She'd heard about this great one from a friend. Kakashi gave the laptop to her and watched her set everything up. When he didn't smoke, she questioned him, so Kakashi did as she had. If she had taken it first, then it was unlikely to be poisoned. The movie was a welcome distraction when Nami slipped out of her skirt and jacket and joined him under the blanket. When the movie was over and there were no more distractions, Nami rubbed her rear against his crotch, reaching for one of his hands to slip it into her panties. She asked if everything was alright when he showed little interest, to which Kakashi answered all was fine. He was just a bit tired. A bit of encouragement was all she needed, it seemed. She laid him on his back and climbed on top of him, going about whatever routine her and Kobayashi had.

Truly, Kakashi wanted nothing more than to sleep and forget all of this. To wake up and for everything to be normal. But because it was easier to keep his mouth shut, he said nothing when she took his erection in her mouth or rolled a condom on it. When he finally came, she laid at his side.

"You know," she said, already sleepy, "you're pretty nice for a man who sells drugs."

Kakashi said nothing. He was nice enough that she was comfortable spending the night here. With no energy to argue, and likely mellowed by the cigarette, Kakashi let her. He'd dragged himself through stickier situations and come out alive.

…

Sat reclined as far back as he could, Kakashi draped an arm over his eyes. He would rather his shop had no window, but he supposed it wasn't the kind of renovation choice he could currently make. It would be bad marketing, too, probably. Such matters were unimportant to his pounding head.

That morning, he'd woken to Nami showering while he remained in bed. Waking had been brutal; fever burned his skin and nausea rolled his stomach. He reached inside his night table and drank from the bottle he retrieved, only to cough when he finally tasted the liquid. He'd never liked vodka very much, but Kobayashi certainly seemed fond of it.

So fond of it, in fact, that the water bottle he thought he'd found in his shop was no water bottle. Perhaps that was why he favored it, being indistinguishable from water at first glance. Certainly not at first taste. All morning, Kakashi sipped from the bottle, wishing his pain away. Though he'd never fallen victim to it himself, he could recognize the signs. Alcohol abuse wasn't uncommon in his line of work and he'd seen the effects of withdrawal.

Though he was glad for the relief, Kakashi didn't welcome the haze that came with it. It was the single reason he'd never taken to alcohol; a clear mind could be the difference between dead comrades and live comrades at any second. Kobayashi, though, did not live this kind of life, and as such didn't mind being drunk at eleven in the morning.

When the bell above his door rang, Kakashi shut his eyes. He'd had no customer yet, and wished it would have remained so.

"So I'm not even worth a hello now?"

Kakashi looked from under his arm and froze. Tsunade stood before him. Immediately, he sat straighter and refrained from staring at the many wrinkles that lined her face. Out of all the things to get the cogs turning, it was this.

"I was trying to have a nap."

In the palm of his hand, he tried to gather his chakra, to no avail. Had it been blocked, somehow? Or did Kobayashi simply not possess it? Now it was clear why he felt so noseblind.

"I've got places to be, so snap out of it," she said, harsh as ever. "You'd be surprised how early the loan sharks come knocking at your door."

"Eleven is early?" Kakashi teased. "It's almost midday."

Tsunade huffed and slammed the box on his desk. "Once a brat, always a brat."

Kakashi watched in silence as Tsunade opened the box and showed him its contents. For the most part, it was more of everything that Nami had taken from his own box the previous night. A few sets of pills were different, though.

To one of those, Tsunade pointed, saying, "These are for that girl of yours. It should help lessen the shakes and nausea. She might recognize them, though. But what can I say, that plan was shit to begin with."

"What plan?"

Tsunade scoffed, a hand on her hip. "What is it now? You can't be bothered to remember the favors you ask of me?" When Kakashi offered no response, she shook her head. "Whatever. Do what you want with those, so long as you pay me."

Kakashi took out his wallet, but stared at the bills. "How much do I owe you already?"

When the wallet was snatched from his hands and bills from it, Kakashi felt no surprise. Wherever he was, these people that resembled those he knew did so in more than appearance. Tsunade threw the wallet back at him and he could not find it within himself to react. All he wanted was a warm bed and to forget he existed. Or to wake up where such odd things did not happen.

"Hey."

Tsunade snapped her fingers, but he ignored it. She walked around the counter to him, pinching his chin between two fingers so she could get a good look at him.

"You look pitiful," she huffed, pulling his eyelids down. "Positively awful."

"You're not helping." He tried to pull away, but Tsunade didn't allow it.

"When's the last time?" she asked, her tone now distinctly doctor-like.

Kakashi shrugged and nodded at his bottle.

"I know you've got plenty of demons, but that's not the one I'm referring to." For a moment, she waited for an answer, but when he didn't offer one, she sighed and placed a hand on his shoulder. "Boy, if you're trying to quit, you need to tell me. I can make it easier on you. Alcohol or the pills. I know your mother thinks I'm the devil incarnate, but I'm not."

Kakashi pinched the bridge of his nose. So sleeping with young girls and alcohol weren't Kobayashi's only indiscretions. "What were they for? Those pills for the girl."

"To make quitting easier," Tsunade said, then softly added, "or less painful, at the very least."

"Tell me how to use them."

If he was stuck in this body, it wouldn't be on anyone's terms but his own.