Disclaimer:I do not own Once Upon a Time or its characters or plot ideas. The only things I own in this story are my own ideas and my own characters.

Summary: To anyone looking from the outside in, Karina's life couldn't get any better. She's living in New York with her adoptive family, Emma and Henry, she has a boyfriend named Zach, great friends and she's going to a private art school… But while Karina's life may seem perfect to outsiders it is actually anything but. Karina has been suffering from severe bouts of rage and overwhelming sadness. She's also been having dreams of herself living another life that she doesn't fully understand and now the two lives battle each other inside her head. Her therapist says it's something that will pass but the mysterious boy who is now following her promises it won't stop until she listens to him. When Emma forces Karina to go back to a strangely familiar looking town Karina finds herself faced with all her past demons that she no longer remembers. It becomes a race for Karina to gain her memories back before those demons kill her and she loses everything for good.

Say You Won't Let Go

~ Chapter One ~

"I keep having these nightmares… The girl looks like me and she sounds like me but she's doing stuff I've never done. She's with people that I've never seen… And…" I trail off and bite my lip as I look down at my hands. When I first came in here my plan was to tell him everything, but now as I think about it I'm incredibly unsure.

"And?" The therapist asks expectantly. He's an old man and looks very much like the stereotypical therapist. When Emma first introduced him to me I was ready to walk out right then and there because I refused to divulge all my secrets to someone who looked like him. He has the crazy white Einstein hair, the thick rimmed glasses and the tweed jacket. He always says 'hmm' and 'I see' whenever I talk to him. He's supposed to be one of the best in the business. When I first met him I didn't like him and it took me a long time to trust him enough to speak to him about my nightmares. But I've been seeing him for almost a year now and I've actually grown to like him.

"And… In my nightmares… I'm killing people." I whisper the last part and firmly shut my eyes. I've been tossing around the idea of sharing this horrific thought for several weeks now. The nightmares of me killing people has been haunting me for months. I've been afraid to tell anyone because I don't want to get locked up in some psych ward and forced to wear a straitjacket.

"Hmm…" The therapist whose name is Dr. Roberts muses over my confession. "And how long have you been having these nightmares?"

"A couple of months… At first, I was dreaming of another life… But then it slowly became more and more violent… Soon I was doing things I would never do and then I started killing people. Last night… I dreamt that I stabbed a man in the neck and watched him bleed out and die at my feet." I swallow thickly. "When I woke up I could've sworn the blood was still on my hands. I started screaming and Emma had to come in and calm me down…"

"I see… And you say that these dreams started a year ago?" Dr. Roberts asks.

"When we moved from Boston to New York, yes. Before that… I don't remember much but I know I didn't have these nightmares." I shake my head sadly. "These nightmares have steadily been getting worse. Before I just dreamed it, but now it seems like I wake up and it's still happening. The blood of the people I killed in my dreams is still on me."

"Karina, I believe what you are experiencing is a thing called sleep paralysis. It can be accompanied with hallucinations and terrible fear." Dr. Roberts explains with a creased brow.

"So, what? Does it cause people to go insane?"

"No, no, of course not, my dear. It's something that many people deal with and you can help treat it by simply improving your sleeping habits and of course, continue taking that prescription I gave you for your anxiety." He smiles kindly at me as he twirls his pen around in his hand.

"I can't keep living like this Dr. Roberts… I wake up screaming. It takes Emma ages to calm me down and I know she'd never say it, but I know she's getting annoyed with me. She didn't sign up for this when she adopted me." I start to shake my head wildly, feeling flustered.

"Emma knew exactly what she was getting into when she adopted you. Karina, you were an orphan who lost her parents in a tragic accident and you were living on the streets. No person would expect you to be perfect. But look how far you've come! You're going to a wonderful arts school, you have friends and a boyfriend. Don't let these awful dreams hold you back from your true potential." He smiles again but I'm so caught up in my own thoughts I barely notice it.

"How can it not? I've been dreaming that I've been killing people! That must mean I'm psychotic. Who does that? In my dreams I like killing people." I jump to my feet feeling my anger start to rise.

"Karina, I need you to calm down." Dr. Roberts replies soothingly as he holds out his hand out to me. He shows no signs of fear despite my temper flaring. I've thrown fits before in my rage and I've also broken down crying in front of him. He's seen me at my most emotional times and not once did he seem fazed by it.

"Don't tell me to calm down!" I shout angrily. "I'm so sick of people telling me to calm down! I have every right to be angry!"

"Yes, Karina, you do. But you do not need to be so angry you abandon all reason… Now, I need you to practice those deep breathing exercises we practiced in one of our first sessions. Remember those? Take deep breathes and count until you feel yourself calm down." His calm, soothing voice breaks through my anger and reminds me that I can't go flying off the handle again. Not if I ever want to get out of these therapy sessions. Emma's been forcing me to go ever since I beat up another girl so bad she was in the hospital for weeks. She told me it was the only way to keep me out of legal trouble.

I start to take deep breathes and start counting in my head until slowly the anger starts to dissipate and I sit back down in the big cushiony seat. "Sorry…" I mumble.

"It's ok. You controlled it and that shows just how far you've come since our first session." Dr. Roberts nods his head approvingly. "I know you've been experiencing vast shifts in your moods from angry to sad but I am still reluctant to diagnose you with anything. I truly believe these emotions are coming from your past problems of losing your parents and now they are manifesting in your dreams. I think we can work through this together, it will just take some time."

"Dr. Roberts, my mood changes are so extreme it feels like one minute I'm angry enough to hurt someone, and then the next I'm so sad it feels like someone took a sledge hammer and beat my heart with it. And it's just gotten worse with time… Shouldn't this stuff be getting better not worse?" I'm desperate for him to give me some kind of hope that things will eventually get better.

"These kinds of things can never be given a timeline. It all depends on you and your mind. We'll work this out together, Karina. I promise you that you'll be happy one day." Dr. Roberts smiles again. "On that note, I'm afraid we'll have to end our session here, but I will see you in two weeks."

"Ok. Thanks." I mutter glumly. I don't feel like this session helped me at all. Sometimes I leave feeling a little bit of hope, but today I feel like I'd just been hit by a pick-up truck. I grab my bag and leave his office.

Emma swore to me that he was one of the best therapists in the business but sometimes I wonder if she lied to me. He seems like he's good at his job, I'm not denying that. But it seems like he doesn't really understand what I'm going through. I tried to explain to him that it feels like my heart was broken but he insists its because of the loss of my parents. To be honest, I can't even remember the faces of the parents I lost and I don't feel sadness about their deaths when I think about it. I would never admit it to anyone because I think that makes me a terrible person, more so than my dreams have already done.

"Hey, how was the session?" Emma asks once I walk out of the building. The sun beats down on us as Emma hands me an ice cream cone piled high with cookie dough ice cream. She always brings me ice cream after my sessions with Dr. Roberts in an effort to help me feel better.

"Sometimes I wonder if they really help." I grumble as we start to walk through the busy streets of New York back to our apartment.

"They have to be helping at least a little bit… Your anger problems have improved immensely! I've noticed it and so have your teachers. You haven't gotten into a fight in at least two weeks… That's a whole new record for you." Emma tries her best to cheer me up but after today's session I don't think much will help my mood.

"So, is Walsh still taking you out on a date tonight?" I ask as I try to lighten the mood. What Emma doesn't know is that Walsh plans to propose to her tonight. Henry and I already figured it out when we learnt all about the romantic details.

"Yes, he is… Will Zach be coming over tonight?" She asks as she loops her arm with mine. We reach our apartment and she punches in the code for the gate.

"Yes, he will… And I promise we'll be on our best behaviours." I smile innocently when I notice she's opened her mouth to give me the usual speech about having a boy over.

"You better or I'll have to use my special set of skills to track him down…" Emma replies with an ominous grin.

I snort. "Who are you? Liam Neeson?"

"Yes, actually, I am!" Emma teases and we enter the apartment laughing. I see Henry on the couch playing one of his many video games. I skip over to the couch and plop down beside him, ruffling his hair with my hand that isn't holding my ice cream.

"Hey!" He complains but he doesn't dare take his hands off his controller or his eyes off the TV as he's obviously caught in the midst of an epic battle.

"If I leave you guys pizza money for dinner tonight promise me you won't let Zach eat it all?" Emma asks from the kitchen.

"The money?" I make a funny face and stick out my tongue.

"The pizza, genius." Emma walks into the room and attempts to swat at the back of my head.

"I really can't make any promises about my dear boyfriend's control when it comes to pizza." I smirk as I think of my six-foot-tall boyfriend. He may be in school to study photography but he's built like a football player with a tall, bulky build and broad shoulders. Unfortunately for our fridge he also eats like a football player. To people who don't know him he can appear extremely intimidating. Luckily for me he is actually one big soft teddy bear and he's always treated me with the upmost respect.

"Ok… Maybe I'll leave you a little bit extra then." Emma laughs as she hands me the money.

"We have to make sure he doesn't order onions on his pizza again, though." Henry warns, his eyes still focused on the screen.

"Ugh, oh yea… We don't want another repeat of last time." I chuckle as I think of the horror show that ensued after we let Zach order onions on his last pizza. We learned quickly after that that onions do not agree with him.

"Ok, well I'm going to go get ready for my date." Emma says as she already starts to move towards her bedroom down the hall.

"Ok." I call after her as I finish off my ice cream. I turn to Henry. "Can I play?" His only response his to hand me the extra controller. I take the controller with a grin and join him in his fight against what appears to be ogres.

…..

Emma ended up leaving early claiming she had a "work thing" to do before her date. I warned her not to be late but I don't think she heard my warning. I could only imagine how awkward Walsh would feel if Emma didn't show up to the date he planned to propose on.

Shortly after Emma leaves Zach shows up. I open the door with a large grin and throw myself into his arms. He hugs me tightly and I'm overjoyed by the comfort he brings me. Zach started out as being my first good friend in New York and it took us a while for our relationship to shift into a romantic one, mostly because I was having trouble developing romantic feelings for him, but a few months ago I decided to give him a chance. I figured I'm young and there's always time for me to develop those feelings. Even though they haven't formed yet after three months of dating I'm sure they'll come eventually. Until then I'm happy with the way things are right now.

"Hey beautiful." Zach grins brightly and places a quick kiss on my cheek. "Hey Henry!" He calls over my shoulder but Henry barely waves, still wrapped up in his game.

I roll my eyes at my younger adoptive brother. "He's too obsessed with his new game to pay attention to humans." I say it loud enough for Henry to hear but he doesn't reply. "Emma left us money for pizza… Did you want to go pick some up?" I wave the money in front of his face.

"Oh, you know what I like." Zach teases and pulls me in for another hug and a kiss on the lips.

"Henry, we're going to go pick up the pizzas now… Did you want to come?" I know it's useless to offer but I figured I might as well try.

"No thanks… Just remember, no onions!"

"Awe, why not?" Zach pouts and I laugh.

"Because last time was awful. This is a small apartment, we don't need you filling it with your gas again." I shove his chest and he shrugs his shoulders.

"Ok, yea… I guess I understand that." He chuckles.

I slip my feet into my shoes and grab my purse, shoving the money Emma gave me in the front pocket. "We'll be back soon, Henry." I walk out of the apartment and Zach follows, shutting the door behind us.

"Henry really likes that game." Zach muses.

"Yea, he does. It was nice of you to give it to him." I smile up at him as he slips his hand into mine.

"It was no problem… Neither my brother or I were playing it so I figured he should have it." Zach shrugs his shoulders nonchalantly and my smile gets even bigger. It's his selfless and sweet nature that drew me to him in the first place. When my nightmares first started I needed anything to distract me from the horror I saw every night. Zach offered that distraction and he also made me laugh, which made him perfect.

As we walk to the small pizza shop down the road from my apartment I notice that it's already starting to get dark but that doesn't stop the constant bustle of people. In New York no street is ever really empty, especially the main streets. Our apartment is right in the centre of the hustle and bustle so it always has people around no matter the time.

Suddenly the wind starts to pick up, blowing my hair back and causing a chill to run down my spine. However, it doesn't stop there; it continues to pick up with more and more intensity until people are losing their belongings and signs are coming off their hinges.

"What the hell?" Zach asks as he tries to brace himself against the strong gusts of wind. I'm about to curl myself against his large frame when I notice a familiar face standing across the street, watching me.

It's the boy I've always been romantically involved with in my dreams.

I don't know his name. I never seem to say names in my dreams but I would recognize this boy anywhere. The chestnut brown hair, deep green eyes and lean build… He's watching me with such intensity I can't take my eyes off him. I try to take a step forward but when I'm pulled sharply backwards I remember I'm holding Zach's hand.

"Karina? Are you ok?" He asks, concern lacing his tone. I want to turn around and assure him that I'm fine but as the boy and I stare at one another I can't find my voice or even the ability to turn my head.

Then I hear it. "Karina… Let's play…" It's the same taunting voice I've heard in my dreams time and time again. The same stupid phrase that has infuriated me but seemed to bring my dream self great pleasure.

"Karina?" Zach asks again and this time he shakes me. His actions break me out of my trance and I turn around to stare at Zach, my eyes wide. The wind has died down and everyone has continued around us like normal.

"Huh? What?" I feel like I was just pulled out of the water after nearly drowning. The world around me is spinning and I feel disoriented and uncomfortable.

"You were just staring across the road like a crazy person." Zach laughs awkwardly and I try to hide my wince. Zach has no idea about my therapy sessions, none of my friends do. The only people who know are a few carefully selected teachers at my school and of course, Emma and Henry. Because of this I try not to feel angry with Zach for his insensitive joke but I can't help but feel a little annoyed.

"Sorry… I just thought I saw someone I knew in the crowd. I was trying to pin their face." I offer him a small smile.

"Oh, well, don't worry about it. Let's go get pizza." He smiles and wraps his arm around my shoulder and leads me towards the pizza shop. Just as we're about to enter I can't help but cast one last look over my shoulder to see if that boy is still there. Of course, he isn't.

Maybe I really am crazy…

…

By the time Emma gets home from her date the pizza was devoured, Zach had already gone home, Henry is still playing his game and I've practically fallen asleep on the couch next to him.

"Mrs. Q said you were quiet tonight." Emma says as throws her jacket over the back of a chair in the kitchen and walks over to us.

"Not quiet, concentrating. I finally reached level twenty-three." Henry grins. "And Karina… Well she's been sleeping almost the whole night."

"Hey, I object to that. I've never once fallen asleep. I'm like a cobra lying in wait for its prey… I'm like a deadly weapon." I point my finger at Henry and grin.

"Uh huh, sure." Both Emma and Henry say at the same time. I pick up a pillow and throw it at them. Emma catches it and tosses it back in my direction. I grab it and clutch it to my chest, aiming to find more comfort.

"Mind if a fifth level wizard joins you?" Emma asks as she kicks off her heels and collapses into the couch next to Henry.

"On level twenty-three?" Henry asks incredulously. "Good luck with that."

"Huh…" Emma muses as she joins the game.

Henry barely waits any time before he asks, "So what did you say?" When Emma only looks at him in confusion he elaborates. "To Walsh." Now that Henry is questioning Emma about her possible engagement I suddenly find myself more alert. I sit up and shoot Emma an expectant look.

"You knew? Both of you? How?" Emma asks as she tries to shift her attention back and forth between us and the game.

"C'mon mom." Henry snorts. "First date restaurant, special night out… Writing was on the wall."

"Technically the writing was in the dessert." Emma mutters.

"So, what did you say?" I ask, staring at her pointedly. When she doesn't say anything I snort and look at Henry, "Poor guy."

"I didn't say no." Emma replies defensively.

"Well, if you didn't say yes than I stand by my 'poor guy' assessment." I smirk and Henry nods his head and laughs.

"I just need some time to think about it! That's like a big step, you guys!" Emma exclaims. "We've got a good thing going here just the three of us."

"Yea, and we'd still have a good thing going for us with just the four of us." Henry replies.

"You think Walsh is worthy of joining our little family?"

"He's ok." Henry stuffs a handful of popcorn in his mouth and then pauses the game. He turns to his mother and I realize he's about to get serious. "Mom, not every guy is like my dad. Not every guy is going to leave you."

"He didn't just leave." Emma sighs. "He set me up to take the fall for his crime and left me in jail. He doesn't even know you exist… He doesn't deserve to."

"This guy's not that guy. He wants to be with you. Us! He wants us to be his home." Henry insists. "And anyways, I know you like him."

"How?"

"He's the first guy you've dated that I've ever met… Karina always gets to meet them but you've only ever introduced me to Walsh."

"Yea that's because I have this radar for mama boy's, murderers and complete losers. Without me Emma probably would've been in some pretty interesting dating situations!" I tap my temple and smirk when Emma starts to laugh.

"That is true. Karina has saved me from a few losers." Emma grins.

"And you are welcome for that, by the way." I smirk.

Henry turns back to his game. "When did you become so wise?" Emma asks her son as they start to play again.

"Sometime after level sixteen when I became a knight." Henry replies. The two start to discuss the game and I decide that it's time for me to go to bed.

I slowly shuffle down the hallway to my bedroom and climb into my bed, immediately curling into a ball. I close my eyes and pray that the nightmares will stay away at least for one night.

A/N: So, what do you guys think of the first chapter? I wonder who that mysterious boy could've been, huh? Haha, I hope I made it fairly obvious. I couldn't keep him dead for long!

Please take a moment to review!