Chapter 1

It was after school hours and Spock felt unaccountably tense. Yet another sandstorm battered the shielded windows of the Baruk School office as he sat working out the final details of the upcoming lecture tour. He might have blamed his mood on the inclement weather, but even before the storm he had begun to yearn for the remote mountain cabin he shared with T'Naisa and James on Earth.

Beyond Spock's desk, James slouched morosely in a chair, tossing a scuffed baseball from hand to hand. The boy was thirteen now and showed definite signs of adolescence, some of which could be quite bothersome.

"Father," he interrupted for the seventh time, "why can't we just go to Plum Creek now?"

Having already heard the same question in various other forms, Spock's patience was severely challenged. "I have told you. First we must gather more funds for the construction of the retreat house."

The baseball went still. James scowled as he said, "I wish…I just wish you weren't changing things there. I like it the way it is."

"I see," Spock said with some displeasure. "Have you been discussing the matter with T'Naisa?"

The boy's chin came up and his eyes flashed. "Sure, I've mentioned it to her, but she agrees with you. She always agrees with you."

If only it were so, Spock mused.

James was still frowning. "It's been months and months. Why can't we just go and worry about the money later?"

Spock's patience snapped. "Stop asking! Go find some useful activity or I will find one for you."

The baseball dropped to the floor. James threw himself from the chair and stormed out of the office.

oooo

"Double fudge brownies!" T'Naisa inhaled the delicious aroma, treasuring it for a moment, before diving into the bag. Taking a huge, mouthwatering bite, she said, "Oh Travis, you really know how to get on my good side, don't you?"

They sat across from one another at a dining hall table, snug and safe, while outside the storm raged.

"It's not as if I baked them," Travis said amiably. "I have my sources; it's no hardship bringing you these little treats. And it's plain that you appreciate good food."

T'Naisa laughed. "That's a very kind way of putting it. Spock says…" She stopped herself, remembering that the two men did not care for one another, though she had no idea why. At first she had fallen in with Spock's antagonistic attitude, but Travis proved hard to dislike. As time went on, she found herself actually looking forward to these little visits with the graying British doctor. Perhaps he was a bit roguish, but his company was always pleasant and he made her laugh, which helped ease the sting of Spock's persistently aloof behavior.

Suddenly she heard footsteps. Jamie ran up to the table, peered into the bag, and grabbed a brownie.

She gave him a disapproving look. "Did I hear 'please'? Did I hear 'Hello, Doctor Van Allen'?"

"Please and hello, Doctor Van Allen," Jamie said in a rush, then stuffed the entire brownie in his mouth. He chewed fast, swallowed, and took another before turning to go. Over his shoulder he said, "Father's coming this way and he's in a rotten mood."

T'Naisa sighed and reached for another brownie. Before it was half eaten, Spock entered the dining hall. She could see his hackles rising as he caught sight of Travis.

He headed straight for their table.

As he neared, Travis pushed the bag toward him. "Care for a brownie, Mr. S'chn T'gai?" He pronounced the Vulcan name flawlessly.

T'Naisa spoke up. "Spock's not like me. He can't eat them."

"How unfortunate," Travis murmured. "A life without chocolate is no life at all."

Spock ignored the remark and focused on T'Naisa. "I've completed the arrangements for our tour. We leave the day after tomorrow."

"Good," she said. "Jamie's been driving me crazy about Plum Creek."

"I don't blame him," Travis commented. "It sounds like a wonderful place to get away from it all." He looked over at Spock. "I'm glad you're here. I've been meaning to see you."

Spock turned to the doctor with a reluctance so obvious that it embarrassed T'Naisa.

"Yes?" Spock said coolly.

Travis stood. "I'm very interested in your late wife's research on Vulcan plakir-fee. May I access it?"

Spock replied at once. "I am sorry, but that is not possible."

T'Naisa gasped.

Travis opened his mouth, but for a moment said nothing. His eyes hardened to blue steel. "Lauren saved you from that disease. She put her heart and soul into the research. Now you're hoarding it? Selfish son-of-a-gun! I can't imagine what a woman like her ever saw in you." He abruptly stalked from the dining hall, leaving behind him an uncomfortable silence.

T'Naisa shook her head in disbelief. "Really, Spock! You've given that data to Starfleet Medical, to the Vulcan Academy of Science, and to scores of other research facilities."

"True," he concurred, "but I cannot possibly give Lauren's data to that man."

"Why not?" she demanded.

He was slow to answer. "It is a personal matter. Suffice it to say that Travis Van Allen is a libertine…and need I remind you, T'Naisa, that you are a Yanashite…and at least nominally, my wife?"

"I know what I am," she retorted in a temper. "Lately it's you I'm not sure about. Two measures of a Yanashite are kindness and generosity. You imply that the doctor's morals are questionable, but when I look at him, all I see is a caring, considerate man."

oooo

Spock strode into the infirmary and glanced around. Sordath sat alone at a medical console. The old healer looked up from his work.

Spock asked, "Where is Doctor Van Allen?"

"He has transported out," Sordath replied. "You just missed him."

Spock felt tension draining from his body, but he was still far from relaxed. "Transporting is expensive…yet he seems to be coming here more and more frequently."

Sordath's face brightened. "Yes, he does."

"You seem pleased."

"Sometimes he brings medications and other useful supplies. I am very interested in his traditional herbal remedies. And you are aware that the good doctor charges nothing, even on consultations."

"A veritable saint," Spock murmured.

The healer tilted his gray head. "You spoke?"

"I fear," Spock said, "that we are taking up too much of the good doctor's time and resources. Perhaps we should encourage him to come less often."

"Perhaps," Sordath sighed, "perhaps."

oooo

T'Naisa spent the first leg of the tour in misery, and they arrived at Tah'mor. She was thankful that her time alone with Spock was very limited. He had become so distant and uncommunicative that fear was taking root in her heart. Perhaps she should not have reproached him about the research. When the tour ended, would he demand an annulment? She had known from the beginning that their so-called "marriage" was only temporary—a loveless ruse enabling him to maintain custody of Jamie. But now that Jamie was in his teens, he could choose his own custodial arrangement.

And what of Plum Creek? Spock had bought the mountain cabin because she loved it. That day, she had dared to hope that he might someday love her, too. Now it seemed very likely that she would lose Spock, Jamie, and her beloved cabin.

Night came. As T'Naisa wept alone in her bed, Spock lay sleeping in another part of the house and began to enter a dream.

…He was outdoors at Plum Creek, surrounded by moonlit conifers, searching for T'Naisa. In the shadows, something moved. Was it her? He was calling out her name when a dark form stepped into his path. Part man, part beast, the menacing creature reared on two legs and lunged at him…

Spock awoke suddenly, with a feeling of dread that defied all attempts to reason it away. In the morning he travelled with T'Naisa by transporter to his uncle's home in Tareel. This was the place where Yanash first came to them after his resurrection. Sparn was no longer affiliated with Baruk School, but together with his wife T'Prinka, had opened their home as a shrine.

The local community of believers listened with interest as Spock and T'Naisa spoke of Plum Creek, but Spock's heart was not in it. The trouble with T'Naisa was fast becoming a torment. He could not bear her involvement with Van Allen, but she seemed determined to continue the relationship. And since he was not truly her husband, he had no authority over her.

The moment came for them to leave Tareel, and Sparn had promised them the use of a skimmer.

"It has just been serviced," Sparn said. With a hint of amusement he added, "If it starts, it will fly."

As Spock was gathering their luggage T'Naisa said, "I'll give the skimmer a try," and promptly rushed out the door.

To Spock, her behavior seemed immature—like a child running off in a hurry to claim a toy. With a sigh, he turned to thank Sparn and T'Prinka for their hospitality.

"My uncle…" he began.

Just then a tremendous blast shook the house. Light flashed through the window slits and debris pelted the thick outer wall. For an instant Spock stood frozen with shock, then he dropped the luggage and ran outside. Heat radiated from the landing pad where the broken shell of a skimmer was engulfed in flames.

An irrational anger seized him. What had she done now?

Then he realized that she had—most likely—been inside the skimmer when it exploded.

Twice Spock started toward it, but the blazing heat drove him back. Then he turned and saw her lying in a crumpled heap near the road. The explosion had thrown her clear of the wreckage.

Behind him he heard T'Prinka say, "I have sent for help."

Fearing what he would find, Spock went to the body. T'Naisa was alive, conscious, struggling for air. He dropped to his knees beside her. Giving no thought to emergency procedures, he gathered her upper torso into his arms. She coughed and the blood running from her mouth spattered him. Green foam bubbled from a gaping chest wound.

Wide open with panic, her eyes stared into his. "I…can't…breathe," she gasped.

Acting on some long-ago training, Spock pressed a fist into the open sucking wound. It seemed to help her a little. Sparn settled in beside them and began a prayer for the dying.

T'Naisa tried hard to speak. "I used…to dream…of your arms…around me."

"Hush," Spock urged, his throat aching with unshed tears. "Save your breath. Help is coming."

She choked on her blood. "Haven't you…loved me…even a little?"

She was looking to him for an answer when her eyes rolled back and her lids closed. In Spock's arms, her body shuddered once and went still.

"She's gone," Sparn said.

oooo

T'Naisa was out of surgery and Spock stood at her bed in blood-stained clothing, the smell of which was mildly nauseating. Having been raised human, T'Naisa lacked the training to achieve a healing trance. The damage to her body was severe—both lungs torn, broken bones, a severe concussion. She would be dead, had the emergency team not arrived with portable life support before brain damage set in.

Still shaken by the experience, Spock gazed at the halfling's pale, exquisite features; at her unruly red hair spread over the pillow. He could no longer deny the tender, possessive feelings she aroused in him. Yanash had once said, 'One day you will welcome her.' Is this what the Shiav had meant? To welcome T'Naisa into his heart, into his life? But how could he when he still loved Lauren…?

Spock's eyes rose to the monitor above the bed. Vital signs were stable. The monitor was linked to the nurses' station, so after a time he went in search of a hospital fresher to clean his clothes.

oooo

Alone, T'Naisa felt a sudden surge of panic and climbing it like a rope, fought her way to consciousness. Awake and disoriented, she lay still for a moment, catching her breath. The soreness in her chest began to trigger memories. A flash of light, a thunderous blast, her body broken and bloody.

Inhaling deeply, she cried out from the resulting pain. "Spock!"

He immediately appeared at her side. Though his presence comforted her, there a deep sense of embarrassment as she remembered the intimate words she had said to him…and what he had failed to say.

"So…" she sighed, "I'm alive, after all. How very awkward." She smiled weakly. "What happened?"

Just then a female healer entered the room and examined her. Pleased with the findings, she announced, "You are responding well to the treatment. Bones knitting, soft tissues recovering. At this rate you will likely go home in ten days."

All through her recovery, Spock hovered nearby. T'Naisa knew how he distrusted Vulcan hospitals when it came to treating Yanashites, but when he told her about the bomb, she was as eager as him to reach the safety of Baruk. After a week she rose from bed, sat in a chair, and made some feeble attempts at walking. For once, Spock urged her to eat well and she did her best to please him, but had little appetite.

Neither of them mentioned the things she had said after the bombing, while he held her.

They returned to Baruk by transporter and Jamie welcomed her with a hearty embrace. In T'Naisa's weakened state, the teenager's arms seemed unusually strong, and looking into his eyes, she realized how fast Jamie was growing. They were almost the same height now.

For once, Jamie did not ask about Plum Creek. The speaking tour had been cut short, but as news of the bombing spread among the Yanashites, donations began to pour in. T'Naisa tried to set aside her fear of losing Spock and Jamie, and concentrate on regaining her strength. If Spock was thinking of an annulment, he kept it to himself and continued to treat her with unusual consideration. Perhaps he pitied her as one pitied a foolish, lovesick child. Did it really matter? As long as the three of them returned to Plum Creek, she would ask for nothing more.

oooo

Spock was concerned about T'Naisa. Now that she was at Baruk, her rate of recovering slowed and she developed a cough, along with a low grade fever. At the end of the school week, he dismissed his final class and went to the infirmary for a consultation with the healer.

"Her lungs are still quite fragile," Sordath said. "The sooner she can leave this dust and heat, the better. Have you finalized the plans for your journey to Earth? She will benefit from a planet richer in oxygen."

"It must wait," Spock told him. "Plum Creek is snowbound. In Idaho it is barely spring; the mountain weather is too changeable for construction."

"T'Naisa's health will not wait," declared the healer. "You have a grown daughter in Arizona. Take her there."

It seemed to Spock that Sordath was suggesting a vacation. "Sir, I have a responsibility to Baruk. Perhaps, if my daughter is agreeable, I could send T'Naisa ahead…"

"You have a trained assistant," Sordath pointed out. "In her present condition, T'Naisa should not travel alone. Is she not your wife?" And sitting down at his desk, he focused his attention on a monitor.

Spock was turning to leave when his eyes lit on an article of clothing draped over a chair—a lightweight coat sometimes worn by doctors on Earth. Every muscle in his body tensed.

He asked, "Doctor Van Allen is here?"

The healer glanced up. "Yes. He went to check on T'Naisa."

oooo

T'Naisa was resting on her bed, listening to music, when the knock came.

Thinking it was Jamie, she said, "Come on in!"

Travis Van Allen entered the room and smiled charmingly. "My word, you're looking well…but I hear you've developed a bit of a cough." He closed the door behind him.

T'Naisa fought a surge of embarrassment. Though she was fully clothed and Travis was a doctor, having him in her bedroom made her uneasy. She turned off the music. Swinging her legs over the side of the bed, she sat up.

"I'm fine, really," she said, stifling a cough.

Travis brought out his medscanner from a pocket. "I'll be the judge of that…if you don't mind."

It would have seemed rude to refuse him. He sat down beside her. The instrument hummed as he passed it over her body.

T'Naisa felt a little dizzy from fever and found herself asking a question that had been on her mind for a long time. "Travis…why doesn't Spock like you?"

He switched off the scanner. Almost casually he said, "I'm an affront to his manhood. You see, his wife showed an interest in me."

T'Naisa was shocked. "Lauren?"

"She was quite lovely," he mused. Assuming a professional air, he reached for the fastenings on her shirt. "Let's take a look at that chest wound."

Feeling very uncomfortable, T'Naisa allowed him to examine her. As his hand left the wound site and moved onto her breast, she abruptly pulled her shirt closed and said, "Stop it!"

His blue eyes opened wide with feigned innocence. "Stop what?" Then all at once, he ceased pretending. "My dear, you are extraordinarily beautiful. Does he ever tell you that? Or say that he loves you? His kind doesn't know the meaning of the word…but T'Naisa, you're different. Inside, you're human…like me."

He gently touched her face.

Her heart pounding, T'Naisa stood. "I said stop it."

He rose beside her. His voice grew soft and persuasive. "What harm is there? You aren't married. Not really. What sort of man could live with you day after day, and not…" His hands closed over her arms.

T'Naisa wrenched free and backed away from him. "What you are suggesting is a sin."

"A sin!" he scoffed, following her. "To deny yourself satisfaction is a sin against nature." His handsome face relaxed into a self-assured smile. "You look like a frightened little fawn. A red-haired Bambi. Don't worry, I'm not going to hurt you. Is that what you think?"

"I think," she said in disgust, "that Spock is right about you. Lauren didn't stray, did she? You went after her!"

"She was ready and waiting."

"Like me?"

oooo

Spock stood outside T'Naisa's bedroom, his finger hovering over the doorchime as he considered every aspect of the present situation. One did not enter a woman's room unbidden, unless that woman was your wife. Was he or was he not T'Naisa's husband? More and more the question plagued him and though there was no clear answer, some inner urging made him reach out and swing the door open.

T'Naisa and Van Allen stood near the bed in close proximity. As they turned, he saw that she was holding her shirt closed and seemed greatly relieved to see him.

"Well, well," Van Allen smirked.

His face hard as Vulcan granite, Spock stepped inside and confronted the doctor. "Get out."

Travis bristled. "Who the hell do you think you are? This isn't your room, now is it?"

For an instant Spock wondered if he had misread T'Naisa's expression. She looked pale as death as he told her, "If I have overstepped my authority, I beg your pardon. Do you want Van Allen here?"

Tears sprang into her eyes. "No! He…he was after me!"

There was no need for any further questions. Spock turned the full force of his anger upon the unwelcome guest. Lunging, he seized Van Allen with both hands and thrust him into the hallway, where he landed in heap.

"Get out of this school," Spock said through his teeth, "and never come back again. Is that clear?"

Without waiting for an answer, he slammed the door shut.

He took a moment to collect himself before turning toward T'Naisa. The tears had spilled onto her face.

He asked, "Did he hurt you?"

"I'm alright," she replied, clutching her shirt and visibly trembling. "I should never have let him in…but…he's a doctor and he said…"

Spock experience a deep welling of tenderness. He remembered her words as she lay in his arms, fighting for breath. Had he loved her…even a little? He had not meant to give his heart, but he could no longer deny that reality. And he knew that she loved him, had perhaps always loved him, even in the turbulent days before Yanash taught her love's proper use.

Heart hammering, he crossed the room and gazed into her dark, questioning eyes.

"T'Naisa…" he said, and his hand moved toward her. It was too late to draw back now. An invisible line had been crossed. Deep inside him a channel opened, loosing a flood of emotion too powerful to contain. His fingertips touched her smooth cheek. The damp eyes widened and her lips parted with astonishment as their surface thoughts gently mingled.

"T'Naisa," he whispered, receiving her affection and freely answering with his own.

Her arms went around him. Her silky red hair nestled against his throat while he fingered it and inhaled its sweet fragrance. She began to weep tears of joy. He held her until she quieted, and then laid her down to rest.

oooo

Spock approached the task before him with some trepidation. He recalled how the adolescent T'Beth had reacted to the news that he was marrying Lauren Fielding. Now, when Spock was about to join with T'Naisa Brandt, would James show the same displeasure? At first even the thought of their mock marriage had disturbed the boy. One never knew what to expect from a teenager and for that reason Spock decided to speak privately with James as they were preparing for bed in the room they shared.

He began on a pleasant, positive note. "James, we will be leaving for Earth in ten days."

Predictably, the boy's face lit with excitement. "Really? But I thought we had to wait longer."

"The situation has changed," Spock told him.

Smiling happily, James stretched out on his bed.

Spock went over and sat down beside him. "Before we leave, T'Naisa and I will be going off by ourselves for a few days."

The boy's dreamy expression remained unchanged. It was not unusual for Spock or T'Naisa to leave Baruk for Community business.

"You said there was snow at Plum Creek," James recalled. "I can't wait to see it."

A feeling of nervousness sidled through Spock's stomach. "Yes…I realize that you are anxious to return to Plum Creek, but because of T'Naisa's health, we will be staying in Arizona until the weather warms." The look in his son's eyes changed to disappointment. "And there is more...about T'Naisa and myself."

James just lay there, deeply attentive.

Clearing his throat, Spock said, "There is a reason why T'Naisa and I will need some time alone. It is called…the Toi-Chana. The time of bonding."

James frowned and rose onto one elbow. "Bonding?"

Spock drew in a slow breath and said, "We are going to be married."

James suddenly sat upright, his frown deepening. "But you already are…oh!" He blushed furiously. "You mean…really married?"

Spock felt his own face warming considerably. "Yes. I will be her husband and she will be my wife."

For a long moment James stared down at the bedcovers and was silent. Then the corners of his mouth began to quirk upward. Glancing at Spock, he said, "Then…I'll finally get a room of my own? All to myself?"

Spock's sense of embarrassment deepened. "Yes, of course. All to yourself."

"Oh, boy!" James said with exuberance. "When can I move out?"

oooo

In the midst of the marital Kuru, a gong sounded. The ancient Seleyan temple was nearly full to capacity. Incense curled through the air, mingling with the sweet scent of flowers T'Prinka and Sparn had provided for the ceremony. Back at Baruk, sandstorms continued to rage, but here the air was still and clean.

Even so, T'Naisa was unwell. Her face looked pallid but lovely as she walked beside Spock to the front of the sanctuary where Sorel awaited them. Clothed in scarlet wedding robes, they stood before the priest as he began the age-old formula, adapted to Yanashite ways.

Sorel asked, "Who is this that comes before me?"

They answered, "Spock of Yanash", "T'Naisa of Yanash."

"What does thee ask of the Community?"

Spock gave the reply. "We ask for the sacred bonding of Vulcan marriage."

After a moment Sorel stretched out his right hand and said, "Your thoughts."

Spock looked at T'Naisa. Her wavy red hair was plaited in the Vulcan manner. Her deep brown eyes were pools of love. Together they went to their knees and Sorel briefly touched his fingers to the meld points on Spock's face, then T'Naisa's, confirming their honest intent. The priest then signaled to Spock's son Simon, a seminarian acting as an altar server. Simon handed Sorel an ornate wedding sash. Solemnly the priest joined Spock's left hand to T'Naisa's right, palms pressed to palms, wrists interlinked. Using the sash, he bound their arms snugly together.

Once more, the gong was struck.

Sorel reached out and his hands hovered over their heads. "Male and female God created thee. As it was in the dawn of our days, as it is today, as it will be through all our tomorrows, two become one."

His lean hands moved back to their meld points and for a moment the minds of all three participants connected. Then Sorel withdrew, but his skilled touch had established a nascent link between husband and wife.

Spock looked into the eyes of his bondmate and she smiled at him radiantly.

Sorel stepped to the altar and returned with the newly consecrated chalice of Living Water. Holding it before the kneeling couple, he intoned, "Behold the Shiav's blood, poured out for our redemption. One and together, you will share from the Cup of Life."

"Let it always be so," they responded.

Grasping the chalice with his free hand, Spock took a sip. Then Sorel passed the Living Water to T'Naisa. After returning the chalice to the altar, Sorel placed his hands upon their heads and imparted a marital blessing.

At that point Spock and T'Naisa expected to hear the celebratory shaking of a bell rack, but what followed came as a surprise. The Seleyan children's choir had quietly assembled and now their angelic voices rose in song.

Spock unwound the sash binding him to T'Naisa. Her skin felt feverish against his and her eyes were overly bright. As he helped her to her feet, she swayed. Spock saw the faint coming. Lifting his wife into his arms, he carried her out of the temple.

oooo

Though she could not quite decipher the words, T'Naisa heard voices nearby. Gradually she summoned the strength to open her eyes and found the healer T'Annel bending over her. T'Naisa's robe had been unfastened and drawn back, exposing the lighter garment underneath. Cool, oxygen-rich air was circulating in Spock's cave-like room.

She drew in a deep breath and coughed. Her chest felt sore.

"She will be alright now," the healer said to someone. "She is continuing to have some difficulty regulating her body temperature and her lungs are delicate, but there it still no sign of infection. Be sure she takes the Triox four times a day while she is on Vulcan."

T'Naisa turned her head and saw Spock standing close by her pillow. He looked deeply troubled.

The healer left the chamber and closed the door behind her.

Still in his wedding robe, Spock sat beside T'Naisa on the bed. She gave him a wan smile. "I fainted, didn't I? How embarrassing."

Some of the worry cleared from his face. "It was a pleasant task, carrying you."

Wishing that she could have felt his arms around her, she sighed. "Is the Kuru over? They'll be expecting us in the dining hall…"

"Are you hungry?" he asked.

She took hold of his strong hand and their new mind-link told him that she was hungering for something other than food. Responding to the invitation, he leaned over and kissed her mouth. Then again, deeply.

Parting from her, he looked into her eyes and said, "I believe your appetite might benefit from an hour of rest. And so would mine."

He sent word of their delay before turning off his wrist phone. In view of T'Naisa's health, no one would question it. A switch on the door posted the Vulcan symbol of privacy, which even his sons respected.

At last they were truly alone.

Spock set his phone on a shelf near the bed and unfastened his outer robe. As he turned and gazed upon her, his lips stirred into a smile. With outstretched arms T'Naisa welcomed him. An hour, she thought. So short a time after the endless years of waiting and wanting. But for now, it would have to do.