"Harry." called a soft voice, "Harry."

The teen stirred. "Sirius?" he murmured sleepily.

"Hey there, Prongslet."

Harry looked around the tent, only to find it empty of companions, other than his godfather. "Where's everybody else?"

"Breakfast."

"You're missing out on breakfast?" Harry pretended to gasp. "Padfoot, I've seen you eat."

"Very funny." Sirius stuck out his tongue. "Actually, what I'm hoping to miss out on is your overly-maternal house-elf shoving another dose of that foul potion down my throat. Hasn't found me yet."

Harry propped himself on up his elbows and examined his godfather critically. "Sirius, you look terrible."

"What do you mean? Do I have bedhead or something?" Sirius ran a nervous hand through his hair.

"In order to have bedhead, you would've had to have actually slept," Harry pointed out.

Sirius sighed. "Yeah, well, didn't do much of that last night, even as Padfoot."

Harry was concerned. "What did you two talk to McGonagall about?"

"Why were you talking to Fred and George?" Sirius countered.

"Uh-uh," Harry pouted, "I asked you first."

"So you did, but you already know the answer: Remus and I believe that Dumbledore has manipulated situations in your life to fit his purposes, and McGonagall agrees."

"Which situations, though."

"Well, for instance, Neville Longbottom—who according to Remus, has a great aptitude for Herbology—happens to appear right before you, Ron, and Hermione take on Devil's Snare."

"Oh."

"Oh indeed, " echoed Sirius. "Your turn."

"Breakfast time," Harry announced, taking his growling stomach, as an opportunity to sprint toward The Burrow. He had promised not to reveal the twins' secret project.

"Oi, no fair!" Sirius called, taking off after him. Harry was spared from answering the charge, however, by a pair of spindly arms wrapping themselves around his knees.

"Harry Potter, Dobby has come to read with you!"

"Have you?" said Harry startled. "Sirius," he turned to his approaching godfather. "This is Dobby, I sort of freed him."

"Nice to meet you, Dobby. I'm sorry, did you say you freed a house-elf?"

"Yeah, sort of…I wonder who else is here," mused Harry, just as the others filed into the garden. "Colin?"

The mousy-haired third year's look of hero-worship turned to terror in the space of two seconds. "Harry, look out!"

Harry whipped his head around and smacked Sirius in the chest.

"Ouch," the animagus whimpered. "Listen, kid, I know what you're thinking, but I would never hurt my own godson.

"He's innocent," confirmed Harry, shooting a questioning look at Remus.

"Hey, in my defense, I've been trying to get on a first-name basis here with Colin here, but yes, Colin, Sirius is innocent, as you will learn when we read about this past year." Colin quieted, seeming to take the word of his hero, and favorite professor.

That crisis averted, Tonks spoke up. "I've got fruit and toast for the two of you, and Sirius, Lulu would like you to know that you haven't avoided taking your Trauma Draught."

"Damn it," Sirius groaned, draining the vial Remus handed him. "Whose turn is it?"

"Mine," answered Hermione, opening up the novel in her hand.

"Hold on," Ginny raised her hand, causing Hermione to pause. "Is there a summary on the book jacket?"

Hermione nodded. "It says…"

"Oh, fantastic!" Tonks spoke on her cousin's behalf, as Sirius dropped jaw prevented him from speaking. Ginny had also paled. It seemed her transgressions would be documented just as completely as the events of Harry's first year.

…

"Turned into stone?" Arabella cried.

Hermione nodded. "The fiirst chapter is called Chapter One."

"In case I didn't detest this book already," Remus drawled. Sirius, Arabella, and McGonagall nodded in agreement

…

"Only three," repeated Tonks, "Hedwig is off her game."

…

"Go ahead and try, Dursley!" Sirius threatened.

"Padfoot," Remus whispered, though he too was having a hard time staying calm. "You aren't helping your case with Colin over there."

"Right," Sirius breathed. He tried to smile at the small boy who had taken a cushion at Ginny's feet.

…

"Don't bother trying to explain," advised Fred and George in unison.

…

"Is that a rhetorical question?" Sirius inquired innocently. "Because I'm pretty sure the answer would be yes. You look incredibly stupid."

…

"As smart an owl as Hedwig is, she would probably head straight for Ron or me," Hermione replied. "My dad has a police sergeant friend who would have loved to arrest the Dursleys."

"Pick the lock, cub," Remus advised. "Send Hedwig to Hermione."

"I didn't know how at the time," Harry replied.

…

"Typical Dursley!" Arabella hissed with disgust, as the boy in the book belched.

…

"The school food is healthy, Merlin forbid," Harry broke in.

…

"No one can be that big," gasped Colin, speaking for the first time.

"Dudley can," Harry replied. "And he only gets bigger."

…

"Oh dear," Arabella moaned. "This is not going to go over well."

…

Remus rubbed the bridge of his nose, trying to calm the wolf that sensed danger to its cub.

…

"The M word!" echoed McGonagall furiously. "These people are preposterous!"

…

"He didn't threaten your tub of lard son, Dursley!" Ginny hollered.

"Calm down, sweetheart," said Arthur.

…

"By the way, Remus, you're lucky Hermione got this chapter, otherwise your ears would be suffering pretty badly."

"Believe me, cub, I'm eternally grateful, especially because I've had the displeasure of hearing Vernon Dursley in person."

….

"Are you telling me he can't fit in the chair?" Molly Weasley shook her head. "That should be their first clue that the boy is unhealthy!"

"There are a lot of things they need to get a clue about," Sirius remarked, still fuming about the fact that his godson had almost lost his beloved owl.

…

The pranksters snorted appreciatively. "Another animal comparison," Fred cheered

…

"Who wants to be normal?" scoffed Tonks, changing her hair to a shade of a electric blue.

…

"Don't blame you, Harry," shuddered Colin, who was routinely bullied by Snape.

…

"Ah, Quidditch," sighed Fred dreamily. "Nothing like it."

…

"That would happen, Mr. Potter," McGonagall promised. "I would not have put you on the team if I didn't have confidence in your skills,"

Harry was too embarrassed by this praise to notice the Marauders having a telepathic conversation, in which they vowed to increase Harry's own self-confidence.

…

"Harry's the one who ought to be ashamed of you!" Arabella shrieked.

…

"Lily didn't resemble her family either," Remus recalled.

…

"And then," Suddenly Hermione found herself fighting against a powerful magical force. "And…and then... and…and…"

"What on earth?" Molly cried.

"She's fighting something, " Tonks replied, "I thought you said there were no curses on these books, Dumbledore. I knew I should have checked them myself!"

"Harry, call your blasted elf, and tell her to stop cursing Hermione!" Ron demanded

"That is no house-elf magic, sir!" Dobby cried from Harry's feet. He was clearly offended by the slight on his friend and his race.

"No, it is not," agreed Dumbledore. "Miss Granger, am I correct in assuming that you attempted to gloss over the story of that dreadful Halloween."

"An Anti-Concealment Charm," Remus and Tonks chorused.

"And a strong one at that," Dumbledore added. "You must read the chapter in its entirety."

"Oh, Harry I'm sorry," she groaned.

"Thanks for trying, Mione," he whispered, burying his head, as he was ushered closer to Remus's side.

…

"Not saying his name is the stupidest thing I ever heard!" Tonks declared, eyeing the Weasley family pointedly.

…

Cries of outrage were heard at the conclusion of that line.

…

"Oi." Sirius made a face at his godson, as Hermione read about a smelly dog.

"If the robes fit, wear them," teased Remus, grinning.

….

"Ah, who needs the Dursleys," Fred insisted. "You'll be spending your birthday with us this year."

…

"Whoop-de-bloody-do" muttered Ginny, at the mention of Vernon's dinner party.

…

"Watching them kiss arse should be amusing," George grinned.

"AHEM!" Molly screeched.

…

"Hopefully Dudley opens the door wide enough for them to run away," Sirius mused. "As fast as they possibly can."

"Oh, they were running that night," Arabella remembered wincing. "That woman had quite the voice box."

"What happened?" McGonagall wanted to know.

"Nothing good," Arabella replied

…

"Sure, they'll love him. If they're mental," Ron snorted.

…

"That's a late dinner," Arthur remarked.

…

"He does realize this is the twentieth century, right?" Hermione giggled. "And women can walk for themselves."

"Don't think he knows what a century is," Harry replied.

…

"How many times is he going to make you repeat that?" Sirius growled. Harry didn't answer.

…

"More like pathetic," McGonagall amended bitterly.

…

"Isn't this the first time Dudley has met the man?" Remus inquired.

Harry nodded.

"Some hero."

…

Having no such restraints, everyone in the garden was in hysterics.

….

"Here's a novel idea, why don't you call him by his name?" said Molly crossly, as the party sobered up.

…

"Perhaps not," said Dumbledore sadly.

"You're the reason he is with them in the first place!" McGonagall snapped.

…

"Happy birthday dear Harry…happy birthday to you!" lead Tonks, Fred, and George in an attempt to turn the depressing scene around.

…

Ron and Hermione bowed their heads when it was mentioned that Harry hadn't gotten their letters.

…

"I tried to write!" Ron protested.

…

"Use every advantage you've got," said Tonks approvingly.

"It's against the law!" Molly reminded her.

"Not the threat itself," she countered.

"And not if a legal and fully-qualified wizard carries it out," Sirius added, more than happy to do so.

…

"We didn't forget!" Ron and Hermione both cried.

"I know," Harry assured them.

…

"Oh, Prongslet," Remus whispered, carding his fingers through his nephew's hair. Sirius was busy venting his frustration at the dream description by flipping off a cackling gnome.

…

There was a response of general confusion throughout the garden. The hedge was staring back?

…

"Oh, great," said Ron sarcastically.

…

"All seven of them? That's accomplishment for him," snarked Arabella

…

"Seems Harry agrees with you, ma'am," remarked George. He and Fred were quickly developing an admiration for the witty older woman.

…

"He does have friends. Us."

…

"Gross," screamed Hermione and Ginny.

"Get a belt," added Ron.

…

"Us," repeated Hermione, Remus, and the entire Weasley family. Sirius looked down. He dearly wanted to add to the chorus, but at that point in time, he would not have been able to take his godson in. Remus must have sensed this because he gave the animagus a brotherly clap on the shoulder and motioned for Harry to hug his godfather.

…

"Does he think that's real magic?" McGonagall asked in astonishment.

"To Muggles that is real magic, Professor," Colin replied.

"Is that so?" mused a fascinated Arthur.

"It is, Mr. Weasley," Hermione confirmed, before getting back to the book.

…

This called forth the maternal instinct of every woman present—most of the males, Marauders particularly, were also infuriated—which produced a shower of varying curses from those who carried wands. (Although verbal, Arabella's were just as colorful)

…

"I know, I know," Harry replied before anyone could say a word.

…

"Harry's not an animal, you vile woman!" cried Molly.

"Not unless you teach me how to become an animagus," Harry spoke hopefully.

"Nice try, cub of mine," Remus laughed.

…

"That dress looked ghastly on her," Harry reported, gagging.

…

"Ah, shut your hole, Dursley!"

"Ginny!"

….