Yes U Can!

Rating T

Disclaimer: I do not own SnK! I don't own this idea. This was inspired from a really funny comic I found on Pinterest. Thank you, Pastrie Cake, for drawing the funny comic featuring our favorite shorty Levi Ackerman and hilarious Hanji Zoe.

Edited: June 27, 2017

Enjoy!

Levi was sitting at his desk going through the mounds of paper that had horrifyingly sprung up while he was away on his last mission. Levi scowled at the ruckus the idiots of the Survey Corps were making outside. The idiots were the 104th graduates specifically Eren, Jean, Connie, and Sasha including Hanji and Mike which would mean that there would probably be horrifying disaster.

The reason behind the party and the ruckus was that today is December 25. Also known as Christmas Eve and his birthday. What they were celebrating judging by the shrieks and laughter was actually debatable. Who parties on Christmas Eve? Well, apparently some people in the Survey Corps.

Levi strongly disliked celebrating his birthday in any way. The last birthday he had, Hanji had taken it upon herself to throw him a surprise birthday party which included splashing him with water, getting filthy drunk, and do some of the stupidest things he had ever seen anyone do. Their dancing skills was almost way too horrifying to watch. Hanji was attempting to teach his drunk team krumping whatever the hell that was. He could never un-see the images of Oluo and Eld krumping. He almost murdered every single damn idiot in the room when Hanji forced him to wear a party hat. Then, Hanji and Mike just had to start singing "Happy Birthday" to him.

By the time, the tone-deaf dumbasses got to "How old are you now" he had punched a Hanji and Mike sized hole in the roof. Levi then proceeded to kick everyone out much to everyone's disappointment. Ever since then no one had bothered to include him on parties and mentioning celebrating his birthday because he threatened to knock the shit out of them if they threw another stupid birthday party for him. It made him feel all better the next morning to watch hungover morons barely run laps and watch Hanji and Mike struggle through the meetings.

Levi didn't give a flying fuck if he was known as the party pooper. He disliked cleaning up the horrific messes the morons made and he especially hated getting coddled by Hanji who thought he looked adorable wearing the hideous party hat. It was just exactly how he liked it. No parties. And no surprises. He hated surprises. Levi took a sip of his tea as he read through the papers. Levi's eyes flicked up as the door slammed open and the bane of his existence came skipping in.

"Leviiiiiiii," Hanji sang to him bouncing towards his desk with her hands behind her back.

"The answer is no Four Eyes. You're drunk."

Hanji pouted. "No fair, Captain. I didn't get to say anything yet."

"Don't care."

"Aww, you are so mean. Anyways, I got you a present," Hanji said as she brandished the present to Levi. Levi merely lifted his eyes and looked at the present impassively.

"How nice of you. Still don't want it. "

"Come on! Celebrate! It's Christmas Eve!" Hanji said plopping the present on his desk forcing Levi to grab his cup of tea to avoid an unnecessary mess. "Open your present. Everyone in the 104th Training Corps put their heads together and this is what we came up with. I had it commissioned just for you! You will actually need it!"

'I will have a need for it? What the fuck is Shitty Glasses going on about?' Levi raised an eyebrow at the comment. Levi sighed as he pulled the ribbon off of the box. He placed the ribbon beside the box and opened it. He pulled out the gift...and glared at it.

Hanji burst out cackling as she sprinted out of Levi's office. "Happy Birthday, Shorty!" she howled over her shoulder.

Levi scowled at the baby blue step stool. The step stool was laughing at him in neon yellow, "Yes U Can!"

Oh, yes, he can! He was going to murder all of those shitty brats starting with Shitty Glasses. Before he could get started on his vendetta, Levi tucked the baby blue step stool under his desk.

'I will probably need that later' he thought as he calmly walked out of his office cracking his knuckles preparing to give the brats and Four Eyes a good and terrifying reason to run.

End Note: This was my first SnK fanfiction story I have ever written. I hope you guys enjoy this short chapter. Please review, follow, and favorite!

Please support my other stories: In Love and Lucky, Strange Magic, She Will Be Loved, and The Demon Fairy Lord.