"I remember everything." Lily said, her swollen eyes trying to focus in on Jax.

"Who was it Lily?" Asked Kozik. Lily laughed and shook her head.

"You think I'm going to tell you guys, so you can fly out of here half cocked and get thrown in jail?" Kozik opened his mouth to speak but Lily interrupted. "We're gunna leave here, we're gunna go home and go on with our lives as normal." She pointed at her face. "This will heal."

"You can't keep this a secret Lily." Jax coaxed. Lily turned back towards Jax.

"I fully intend to." Jax scoffed and rolled his eyes.

"We're trying to protect you!" Lily laughed and shook her head.

"You did a real good job of protecting me didn't you Jax? I felt real protected while I was chained to a fucking fence, being beaten and raped." Jax opened his mouth to apologize. "Leave." Lily said, pointing towards the door.

"Lily…" Jax started, moving closer to Lily.

"Kozi…" Lily whimpered and Kozik shot out of his chair.

"Jax, I don't wanna do this. But if she asks me you know I will." Kozik stood his ground between his sister and his VP. Jax looked at Lily one last time and felt his heart sink. Lily was going to leave him, just like Tara.

"I love you." Jax said quietly before heading to the door. He pulled it closed behind him and took off down the hall. He stopped in the waiting room to see that it was just Gemma and Tig left waiting.

"She remembers everything but she won't tell us. She says she knows what it'll do to us. Talk to her Mom?" Gemma nodded and rested a hand on her son's cheek.

"This is going to take some work to come back from. Don't let it ruin what you two are." Jax shook his head.

"She's gunna put miles between herself and Charming as soon as she's out of that bed." Gemma scowled and stepped away from Jax.

"She's not Tara, Jackson. Stop acting like it." Gemma disappeared towards Lily's room and Tig laid a hand on Jax's shoulder.

"Your mom is right Jax. Lily loves you, don't let this be the end. The beating she took wasn't just a physical one, the mental aspect is going to be the worst part. She's going to need you to get through this. Don't bail on her." Jax nodded his head.

"Thanks Tiggy. Let's go find Clay, see if he's heard from Unser."

Gemma knocked lightly on the door to Lily's room. The door cracked open and Kozik's face appeared.

"She up for visitors?" Gemma asked. Kozik looked over his shoulder.

"It's Gemma." Lily must have given him the okay as he stepped back and allowed Gemma into the room. Gemma felt her stomach flip when she got her first glimpse of Lily's face. The usually pretty girl was black and blue from ear to ear.

"How ya holding up?" Gemma asked, pressing a kiss to one of the few spots on Lily's cheek that wasn't all busted.

"Is that a sincere question, or are you here on behalf of Jax?" Lily quipped back. Gemma paused, giving Lily a chance to judge where she was at.

"He's worried about you." Gemma explained.

"So's Kozik." Lily replied, gesturing towards her brother who was stationed at the end of her bed like a guard dog. It was clear to anyone that Kozik felt guilty for what happened to his sister, and he would die before he let something like this happen to her again.

"What's your reasoning behind keeping this to yourself Lily? Why not let the Club take care of it?" Gemma prodded, trying to feel her out. Gemma was taken aback when Lily laughed in response to her question.

"So Clay and Jax and the rest of em can go to jail for murder because they'll go after these guys?" Lily scoffed. "No thanks." Gemma folded her arms over her chest, impressed.

"You're doing this to protect the Club?" She asked.

"Fuck the Club. I'm doing this to protect the ones I love." Gemma felt a newfound respect for the younger woman starting to grow. "Besides, that'll light a fire right under their ass that the Sons aren't doing anything about this. The less they know the better." Gemma nodded, a smile crossing her lips.

"You're a tough cookie Lily, you belong with this Club." Gemma patted her arm, noticing the bruises from the handcuffs. Lily must have really put up a fight, which wasn't surprising being Kozik's sister and all.

"The time will come that this will come to the table." Lillian said quietly. "But until then, I'm not saying another word about any of this." Gemma nodded.

"Get some rest yeah?" Gemma's eyes met Kozik's. "Keep an eye on her." And with that, Gemma sauntered out of the room.

After hours of complaining about being stuck in a hospital bed, Lily was finally being discharged from St. Thomas. She hated hospitals, and the last thing she wanted was to be shut up in a hospital room while the doctors and nurses pitied her. Kozik was standing guard outside her door as she tried to change into the clothes that Gemma had brought back to the hospital for her. She pulled one of Jax's baggy SAMCRO t's over her head and reached for the doorknob. Kozik looked over her shoulder as she pulled it open, the ever present guilt in his eyes when he looked at her battered face.

"Could have been worse Kozi." She said, pulling a ball cap on, and then sliding sunglasses on to hide the black eyes.

"Never should have happened." Kozik retorted. He gestured to the wheel chair that had been left for her and Lily shook her head.

"Over my dead body." Kozik smiled and extended an arm to her. She linked her arm with her brothers and hobbled down the hallway. Lily was surprised to see Opie waiting for them in the waiting room. The mountain of a man got to his feet when he saw Lily and came forward.

"Before you ask about my face…" Lily started, holding up a hand. "You should see the other guy." Both Opie and Kozik chuckled. "What are you still doing here?" Lily asked politely.

"Gem had to run to pick up the kid, and we didn't think it would be a good idea to send you home on a bike, and Jax's truck would probably be too hard for you to get into so I brought D-" Opie started to say Donna and then stopped himself. Had Lily blinked, she would have missed the emotion that flashed across his face. "I brought the car, figured it would just be easier on you." Lily felt an overwhelming wave of love for Opie.
"You didn't have to do that, but thank you Ope. I really appreciate it." Opie nodded and gestured towards the doors. Both he and Kozik escorted Lily out of the hospital and towards the Ford Taurus that used to belong to Opie's wife. Opie opened the door, and Kozik helped Lily slide into the front seat.

"Follow me to Jax's place?" Kozik asked. Opie nodded before making his way to the drivers door, and piling himself into the tiny little car. Opie flicked on the radio and when some teeny bob song game out of the speakers he shot Lily an apologetic glance.

"Donna's presets." Opie hit a button on the stereo and the usual heavy metal station filled the car.

"Now that's more like it." Lily flashed Opie a cheesy grin and together they jammed out on the way home to Jax's.

Lily unlocked the door to Jax's house and let herself in. Kozik followed her in and she could feel him casing the house.

"Kozi, relax." Lily eased herself down on the couch. "It's not like someone's hiding in the closet." Lily felt a sick sense of fear wash over when she thought about someone watching her.

"I know kiddo, it just doesn't hurt to be safe." Kozik said, opening the closet door. He closed it before turning around to face her. Lily rolled her eyes and pulled herself up off the couch.

"I'm gunna go shower. Make yourself at home ya German Shepard." Kozik mocked her before dropping down in the armchair and flicking on the tv. Lily made her way down the hall and into the bathroom. She closed the door behind and reached into the shower, turning on the water. Her muscles were aching from what had happened the night before. She dropped her sweatpants and pulled Jax's shirt over her head before climbing into the steaming hot water. She let the hot water work the kinks out and felt the tension in her muscles start to release. She stood under the water for what felt like an eternity, trying to wash the filthy feeling from herself. When the water started to run cold, she shut it off and reached out for a towel. Wrapping it around herself, she wiped the steam from the mirror and let out a high pitch scream. Standing behind her, was one of the masked men. She whirled around and there was no one there. She closed her eyes and tried to regain her composure. Within seconds the bathroom door flew open and Kozik had his gun drawn. Lily slid down the wall and started to sob. Kozik tucked his gun back in his waistband and rushed forward dropping down beside her.

"Lily?! What happened?!" Kozik asked, cradling her head against his chest. Lily tied to speak but the sobs wracked her body. Kozik let her cry until she had run out of tears.

"I got out of the shower…." Lilly's breath caught in her throat. "And I thought I saw…" She closed her eyes trying to take a deep breath. "I saw one of them Kozi…But he wasn't here." Kozik rubbed his sisters back soothingly.

"Lily, you need to tell us who did this." Kozik coaxed. Lily shook her head, red eyes meeting her brothers.

"I can't Kozi.. I can't." Lily said the words with emphasis. "You know what's gunna happen, the Club doesn't need this right now." Kozik scoffed.

"Lily fuck the Club, fuck Clay, and fuck anybody that thinks that you're not the number one priority." Kozik held her face in his hands. "I'm not gunna force you to say anything Lily, but when the time comes, we're gunna find who did this." Lily nodded, closing her eyes and taking comfort in her brother's presence. Kozik helped Lily to her feet and led her to Jax's bedroom.

"Kozi." Lily asked, pulling one of Jax's shirts from a drawer.

"Yea Lily?" Lily avoided his eyes.

"Do you still have a prescription for the sleeping pills you had to take when you came home?" Kozik shook his head.

"No, but I can get you some." Kozik offered.

"I just don't want the nightmares…" She said quietly. Kozik nodded his head.

"Just make it through the night tonight Lily and I'll have some stuff for you tomorrow." Kozik kissed his little sister's forehead. "I'll be in the living room until Jax gets home. Try and get some rest okay Lily?" She nodded her head before pulling Jax's shirt over her head and hanging up the towel. Making her way back to the bed, Lily stopped next to Jax's night stand. She bent down, pulled open the drawer and pulled out one of Jax's many handguns. She laid it on the nightstand, then crawled into bed. The smell of Jax was comforting, yet in a way it made her feel even worse. Surely Jax would understand what happened, the way he blew up at the hospital, how he wanted to go after those guys…Lily could feel her anxiety getting worse. Closing her eyes, she took a deep breath and then pulled out her phone. Coming home? She texted Jax. Her phone dinged almost instantly. B there in 5 was Jax's response.

It wasn't long after that Lily heard the front door open and the sound of Jax's keys hitting the dish on the table. She heard him greet Kozik and then the sound of his footsteps coming down the hall.

"Hey." He said quietly, shrugging out of his kutte.

"Hey." Lily replied. She sat up in bed and took a second to think about what she was going to say to him? Plead her case for not wanting to tell the Club? Come clean and tell him everything? She opened her mouth to speak but was surprised to hear Jax's voice instead.

"I'm trying to wrap my head around this Lily. But I just can't. Don't you want us to get the guy that did this to you?" Jax sat down next to Lily's legs and reached for her hand. Lily obliged and laced her finger's through Jax's.

"I do but I don't Jax. You know just as well as I do that if I tell you what happened, you, Kozik, Opie, everyone is gunna end up in jail. Or worse. And I can't live with that." Jax sat quietly before bringing Lily's hand to his lips and kissing it lightly. "The Club has enough going on right now without worrying about this mess." Jax nodded his head.

"Promise me, that eventually you'll tell me?" Jax's eyes met hers and she could see the guilt he was carrying, clear as day.

"I promise Jax." She leaned her forehead against his. "When the time is right."

Author's Note

Thank you guys so much for reading and reviewing my story! I love hearing from you guys! What are your thoughts on Lily putting up a fight when it comes to telling the Club who assaulted her? How do you think it's going to affect her? What do you think it's going to do to her relationship with Jax? Big, big, big news coming up within a couple chapters! Also don't forget to check for a new chapter of Grandsons of Anarchy coming soon!