Minerva McGonagall: Albus, I really must express my concerns over this new IM feature you have had installed into the castle. This is an ancient, magical building, Albus.
Albus Dumbledore: Ah, my dear Minnie, it is, alas, a bit of fun.
Minerva McGonagall: Albus, I would really rather you did not refer to me as 'Minnie', thank you.
[Albus Dumbledore has changed his nickname to DumbleFumble]
Minerva McGonagall: Really, Albus? This does not seem the place to express such desires. I must say, I am rather appalled.
[DumbleFumble has downloaded the following Hogwarts IM colourscheme from HogwartsIMPORTAL; ILLUMINATINGPURPLE]
DumbleFumble: I must digress, Minnie, that you are reading too much into my choice of nickname, I simply possessed a wish to have a name that featured a whimsical rhyming element.
Minerva McGonagall: Is that so?
DumbleFumble: Indeed it is.
Minerva McGonagall: I'm sure Argus would disagree, but nonetheless, I do need to discuss the changes to my Fifth Year classes this term.
[Albus Dumbledore has changed Minerva McGonagall's nickname to Moaning Minnie]
Moaning Minnie: Really, Albus? Have we resorted to such childish measures?
DumbleFumble: YOLO
Moaning Minnie: Excuse me?
DumbleFumble: Ah, I see you are not, what is it they say, 'Down with the kids', as I am.
[Moaning Minnie has changed her nickname to Professor McGonagall]
Professor McGonagall: Now Albus, I really must discuss my Fifth Years.
DumbleFumble: Soon, Minnie, is it okay if I add someone else to the chat, they'd like to discuss something with you.
Professor McGonagall sent a gif
DumbleFumble: Well, there's really no need for that, Minnie. You cannot tell me to **** off in my own school.
Professor McGonagall: I did no such thing, Albus. The cat in the picture did.
DumbleFumble: You are aware that I do know what your cat form looks like, and that the backdrop of that picture is your office.
Professor McGonagall: …
[DumbleFumble added Severus Snape to the conversation]
Professor McGonagall: Really Albus?
Severus Snape: Ah, Minerva, I have been meaning to discuss something with you...and since you seem to be permanently busy, it seems I have no other option.
[Professor McGonagall has changed Severus Snape's nickname to INeedToGetAHaircut]
INeedToGetAHaircut: I BEG YOUR PARDON?
Professor McGonagall: Oh, goodness me, how did that happen? My finger must have slipped.
INeedToGetAHaircut: Albus, you know I have struggled to use this blasted device, how do you change it?
DumbleFumble: I have been rendered temporarily partially blind Severus, I am aware that you have addressed me, but I'm afraid I cannot see anymore of what you hvae written.
DumbleFumble: I meant 'have'.
INeedToGetAHaircut: I thought you said you were partially blind?
DumbleFumble: ...
DumbleFumblr: ROFL
DumbleFumble: LMAO
INeedToGetAHaircut: I suppose he was telling the truth since he is now spouting unreadable nonsense. Now, Minerva will you please CHANGE MY NAME TO SOMETHING MORE APPROPRIATE?
Professor McGonagall: As you wish…
[Professor McGonagall has changed INeedToGetAHaircut's nickname to INEEDTOGETAHAIRCUT]
Professor McGonagall: Much better, wouldn't you say Severus?
INEEDTOGETAHAIRCUT: This isn't funny...
INEEDTOGETAHAIRCUT: ...Mcgonagone.
Professor McGonagall: Oh...rush me to the burn unit.
DumbleFumble: OWNED!
INEEDTOGETAHAIRCUT: WHAT ARE YOU BOTH TALKING ABOUT!
Professor McGonagall: So, Severus, apparently you wished to discuss something with me?
INEEDTOGETAHAIRCUT: Well, I was wondering why every time I have managed to complete my marking recently, my papers all become somehow shredded? As though by...a cat.
Professor McGonagall: Why on Earth would I know anything about that?
INEEDTOGETAHAIRCUT: Why do I find that hard to believe?
Professor McGonagall: Well...if you desire my best guess…
INEEDTOGETAHAIRCUT: This is ridiculous. I will get you back for this, Minerva.
Professor McGonagall: You can try.
[Professor McGonagall has changed her nickname to BossWitch]
INEEDTOGETAHAIRCUT: I could think of a far more apt nickname, Minerva.
BossWitch sent a gif