Disclaimer: I do not own the Fifty Shades Trilogy, I am just having a bit of fun with the characters, and making no profit.

AN: I normally write HP fanfic, (Tom Riddle and Hermione for the win!) but I recently read Fifty Shades, and though I have my own beef with those books, I do really like the characters. Maybe it's because Christian is a fucked up sociopath like Tom Riddle, and Anastasia is a bookworm like Hermione…hmm…Not sure what this says about me! Anyway, if you happen to read any of my other works, you'll see that I like to write humor/smut/crackfic/dramas…and I suppose this is no different. Enjoy at your own risk, I am not responsible if you pee your pants laughing.

Also, I took liberties and changed some factoids to suit the purpose of my fic (i.e, Ana works at Starbucks, not Clayton's, Only Christian was adopted, etc...I did this on purpose, and because...FICTION.

Serendipity [ser-uh n-dip-i-tee] /ˌsɛr ənˈdɪp ɪ ti/

Noun: an aptitude for making desirable discoveries by accident.

oOo0oOo

One week. She had been in London, the city of her dreams, for exactly one week, when Mia Grey walked into the new fancy Starbucks on Lambeth. This was hell. It had to be; of all the people who could have walked in, it had to be her. Anastasia was behind the counter covered in sticky caramel syrup, thinking about who she could have pissed off in a former life when she was shaken from her thoughts by the insistent tapping of fingernails on the swanky granite countertop.

"Welcome to Starbucks, what can I get for you?" she said through gritted teeth, plastering a fake smile on her lips.

"Anastasia? Anastasia Steele, is that you?!" Mia asked in her nasally voice with her obviously fake Spanish accent.

"Yep it's me. What can I get you?" Ana replied with a sigh.

"Oh my God, Girl! What are you doing here?! This is crazy, right? I mean…it's London! Are you working here now?" Mia gushed pretending not to notice Ana rolling her eyes so hard that she could practically see the back of her skull.

"So it would seem. I'm pretty sure Starbucks doesn't let random people behind the counter to make their own coffee." Ana quipped sarcastically.

"Haha! Girl, you are so funny! We totally need to catch up! I mean, what are the odds, right?" Mia laughed

Oh God, no.

"Yeah, I've been really busy-" Ana began to say before Mia cut her off.

"I'm not taking 'No' for an answer! We'll do lunch! Oh my god, how funny is this?" Mia continued oblivious to Ana's attempt at blowing her off.

"Well, I work a lot, so-" Ana tried again

"Sunday. I'm taking you out for brunch on Sunday. Where are you staying?" Mia prodded, clearly not taking the hint.

Ana sighed, "I'm renting a small flat here in Vauxhall, over on Langley. Number twenty."

Somewhere in the line forming behind Mia, someone coughed loudly, indicating their displeasure at having to wait.

"Brilliant! I'll pick you up at ten-thirty on Sunday then! Oh, and I suppose I should order my coffee…I'll just take a Grande caramel macchiato with soy, no whip, extra caramel please."

Ana's eye began to twitch. Of course she wouldn't want a regular coffee. Fucking Mia Grey.

oOo0oOo

It was finally noon, and Antonella had thankfully shown up on time for her shift, which meant that Ana could return to her flat. After clocking out, she removed her apron and did her best to ignore the fact that her arm hair was glued to her skin in some places because of the caramel that managed to get everywhere. On her walk home, she lost herself in her thoughts of how much her life had changed since high school. Back in Seattle, Ana had attended Lakeside, which was one of Seattle's elite private schools. Truth be told, she didn't belong there; that was where all the well-to-do families of Seattle sent their children, because God forbid, they attend public school. Ana's family, if it could even be called that at this point, wasn't rich; in fact, Ana's step-father, Ray, had taken a second job just to help pay for her tuition. Ana's mother, the gold-digger that she was, took off with one of her sugar-daddy's when Ana was ten, leaving her with Ray, who had adopted her as a child. The only thing her mother had been good for, was sending a child support check every month.

To say that Ana never fit in at Lakeside was an understatement. She couldn't relate to any of the other kids in her classes, and It had been the source of more than a few arguments between her and Ray. Ana felt guilty that he spent so much money to send her to a school that she really didn't want to go to, when her best friend Jose' was stuck in in the public school system. Jose' had always dreamed of going to Lakeside, but unlike Ana, his family couldn't afford the Tuition payments. So, in an attempt to help Ray where she could, she took a job at the local Starbucks when she was sixteen, and worked there all through her high school years, and most of her college years. After graduating with high honors from Lakeside, she was accepted at Washington State University at Vancouver into the British Literature program. On the weekends, she returned home in her trusty Volkswagen Beetle she had affectionately named 'Wanda', and picked up a few shifts at Starbucks for some extra money throughout the week. Looking back, Ray had been right; her attendance at Lakeside, and the full academic scholarship she received to Washington State would open the doors she needed for a successful career in publishing.

Mia Grey had been the quintessential queen of Lakeside. Mia was everything Anastasia wasn't; blond, tall, thin, and popular, while Ana had mousy-brown hair, was relatively short, curvy, and was decidedly un-popular. While Mia went to parties and shopped, Ana read books, and worked. Predictably, Mia was crowned home-coming queen, while Ana wasn't even asked to prom. Truthfully, Mia had never been cruel to Ana, in fact, she had never been anything to her; which is why the whole pretending to be long lost friends thing was so gag-worthy. The only true friends Ana ever had, were Jose and Kate. Jose she had known since she was little, as Ray and Jose's dad were old army buddies. Kate she met much later at Washington State when they were paired up for a project in journalism class. Kate had always known she wanted to go into Journalism, and she had the attitude to match. Ana had known instantly, when she heard Kate tell one of the guys in their class to 'fuck off', that they would become BFF's, and so they did. By the start of her third year, she and Kate had gotten an apartment together in Portland while Kate interned at her Father's Newspaper, the Seattle Times.

Traveling to London had always been Ana's dream; she had grown up reading books by Jane Austen, Charlotte Bronte, and Thomas Hardy, hoping that one day, she would be able to travel to the places they wrote about, and maybe, just maybe, find a little bit of romance along the way. The opportunity came in her final year, when one of the biggest publishing houses in the world, Random House, agreed to take her on as an intern. Initially, she was going to turn it down, rationalizing that there was no way she could go, as it was far too expensive, not to mention it would involve moving to another country, until Kate slapped some sense into her.

Like, she literally slapped her across the face and told her that if she didn't grab that opportunity with both hands, that she would drag her by her granny panties to the airport herself.

God she missed Kate.

By the time Ana reached her flat, she dropped her bag on the chair and headed straight for the shower. After scrubbing her skin raw to remove the dried caramel and crusty milk foam, she stepped out and wrapped a towel around herself before collapsing on the bed and grabbing the tv remote. The channel was still on E! from when she fell asleep the night before watching the True Hollywood Story on the Golden Girls, and she looked up in surprise when she heard the name 'Christian Grey' to see a paparazzi photo of him wearing a perfectly tailored suit looking unbelievably gorgeous with some dark haired waif clinging to his arm.

One more reason to loathe Mia Grey; even her family members were gorgeous. Christian was one of Mia's older brothers, who also happened to be the billionaire CEO of Grey Enterprises, Holdings. Unlike Mia and Elliot Grey, Christian was adopted at a young age, or so she read in In Touch Weekly. Christian was six years older than Mia, so Ana had never actually met him since they weren't in school at the same time.

Her phone suddenly buzzed, and she muted the volume on the tv, and answered it.

"Hey fuckface."

Hearing Kate's voice on the other end instantly lifted her spirits.

"Oh thank God it's you. You won't believe what happened to me today." Ana sighed dramatically into the phone

"Yeah, it's only eight am here, and I haven't had nearly enough coffee if you're about to tell me that someone came into Starbucks and masturbated on you."

"What?! No…"

"Oh…ok, well that's good, can't be that bad then." Kate said chuckling.

"Mia Grey strolled into Starbucks today." Ana said unceremoniously.

Ana of course, had told Kate all about Mia Grey, and how she had been the bane of her existence during her high school years.

"Oh fuck. I'm so sorry…that kinda makes the public masturbator seem like the lesser evil."

"Tell me about it. She was all, 'Oh. Em. Gee, Ana! It's been like, forever! Let's get together!'" Ana said doing a pretty realistic impersonation of Mia's nasally voice.

"Girl, she didn't…What did you say? Tell me you told her to fuck off..."

"Actually, I tried to, but she kind of insisted on taking me out for brunch. Like what the hell is that? I was practically invisible to her all through high school, but now suddenly because she runs into me in a foreign country she wants to be my new BFF?…Shit, you know what this is? I'm a fucking charity case. That's what this is. Poor little Ana having to actually work for a living." Ana said shaking her head.

"What a bitch. I really miss you, you know? If I was over there, I'd tell her to take her money and shove it up her ass. My little Ana ain't nobody's charity case!" Kate shouted into the phone protectively.

"Thanks Kate, you know I love you. When I write my first novel, I'm totally dedicating it to you!" Ana said laughing.

"Yeah, well, you better, you probably wouldn't even be over there right now if I hadn't literally slapped some sense into that pretty little head of yours." Kate chuckled

"Yeah, that really hurt by the way."

"Suck it up, buttercup. That was opportunity knocking." Kate said, and Ana could picture her smiling on the other end of the line.

"Thank you…I mean it. I never said it, but seriously…Thanks." Ana said

"You don't have to thank me…you would have done the same for me." Kate answered, before clearing her throat, "Well, I actually have to get to work, I just wanted to give you a quick call to see how you were."

"I'm good. I'll keep you posted on the Mia situation. Ten bucks says she completely blows me off."

"You're on. I bet she'll show up, because honestly, she's just that fucking annoying." Kate laughed.

"Alright, well, give my love to Jose if you happen to see him, and take care of yourself." Ana said before ending the call.

God she missed Kate. Being in a foreign country, and knowing absolutely no one was daunting…though she supposed that wasn't technically true, since Mia fucking Grey was in town.

oOo0oOo

Sunday morning rolled around, and she was certain that Mia had forgotten all about her five minutes after she left Starbucks that day, but to her surprise and annoyance, the door buzzer sounded.

Crap. Maybe if she ignored it she'd go away?

"Ana! Ana I know you're in there, it's Mia!"

Then again, maybe not.

She pressed the button to open the outside door, and picked up her jacket and bag, waiting for Mia to come up. When Mia stepped in, she was wearing a pair of those ridiculous overly large sunglasses, and a pair of heels that made her already tall frame rise to freakishly tall proportions. Standing next to her, Anna sort of gained a whole new respect for little people.

"You're not wearing that are you?" Mia said pointing in Ana's general direction.

Ana looked down at the navy blue skirt and flowered blouse that she was wearing with a scowl.

"We have plenty of time for you to change, let's see what you have in that closet of yours." Mia said pushing past Ana into where she assumed her bedroom would be, and made a beeline to her closet.

"Nope, no, absolutely not…Ana, do you own anything that doesn't make you look like a Grandma?"

Ana stood gaping at Mia like a fish.

"Nevermind, we're going shopping." Mia said putting her sunglasses back on and dragging Ana out of her flat behind her.

Just outside of her building, sat a dark gray BMW, which Mia walked over to, and climbed into the driver's side.

"Mia, I don't have the money to buy a whole new wardrobe." Ana said flatly, crossing her arms over her chest beside the car.

"Nonsense, It's my treat." Mia said as she pushed the door open

The words 'Charity case' swirled through her mind again, but before she could open her mouth, Mia held up her hand

"Listen, before you say no, just hear me out."

Intrigued as to what she could possibly say, Ana got in the car and turned towards Mia expectantly.

"Look, I know we didn't get off on the right foot in high school, but the truth is, I always kind of envied you." Mia admitted quietly.

"You envied me?" Ana said in disbelief, looking at Mia as if she sprouted a second head.

"Yes! You're brilliant! I bet you could have gotten into any school you wanted with your grades. Did you know that the only reason I am here right now is because my brother hired me? Do you know how pathetic that is?" Mia said shaking her head and giving a mirthless chuckle.

"Wait…you work for Christian?" Ana asked

Mia smiled, "Yes, do you know him?"

Ana blushed, "No, not personally, no."

"Oh. I thought maybe…no, of course not." Mia began, and then waived off the idea instantly, as if it weren't a possibility.

"You thought what?" Ana asked

Mia chuckled, "I know it sounds silly, but I thought maybe you and he had dated…I mean, you're totally his type, except well…" Mia trailed off, glancing down at Ana's hideous blouse.

"No, I've never met him." Ana said trying not to sound totally offended.

"Well, anyway, I don't really know anyone here and I'd like us to be friends…I'd really like to make it up to you, if you'll let me. Sort of a do-over, you know?" Mia said hopefully.

Ana sighed. She felt weird allowing Mia to buy her clothes, but truth be told, she had felt a bit out of her depth at Random House with the clothes she had, and Mia certainly could afford it, so…

"Ok. But let's not go crazy." Ana relented.

"Fantastic! I've always wanted to be a personal shopper! This is going to be so much fun!" Mia exclaimed as Ana rolled her eyes and buckled her seatbelt.

Lord, help her for agreeing to this…